November 8, 1973 (Letter from Leslie)

Greetings!  I just reread your letter and I will just let my comments ramble on.  The anticipation of receiving this letter was much worse than the actual letter, but I had reached a point where I did not care what you did, but that went away last night when I was making homemade peanut butter -- I started thinking about you and your peanut butter and realized that no matter what was going to happen between us, my overriding feeling was that of fondness.

I am still confused as to what I am to you as I have not been members of your triangles, but always it seems, something separate.  You were to me first a friend because you never seemed to want a physical relationship and I decided long ago that I wanted you as a friend aside from a lover, even though I am sexually attracted to you.  So your actions when you visited me in May and when I visited you in September have me confused as to what our relationship means to you.

I have always envisioned myself with friends male and female, but having only one lover.  I have trouble handling more than one at a time.  So ideally there is the man who is my friend and lover and main person (a base), and then there are my other friends, new relationships, and other activities:  two people who co-exist and do things together, but yet are separate.  Much of our past relationship has been that.  So I don't know what else to say -- I enjoy being your friend and sleeping with you and maybe we can work something out to our mutual satisfaction.  Please continue to let me know what's happening with you as there has been far too much silence in our relationship.

Moving onto a different topic -- the peanut butter I made (from the recipe I sent you) came out okay, but a little dry, needs a little more oil.  The taste is great, and the texture is chewy, chunky - you would like it.  The biggest hassle was shelling enough peanuts.

I haven't received my records from RCA yet.  They did send me the Sounds of Love from A to Zzzz, by mistake -- I didn't play it to hear what it sounded like.  So I haven't bought any albums since what I've told you about.

Last weekend I went to Washington D.C. on a chartered bus -- with a bunch of other students from the school.  We stayed in a hotel ($10.60 for two nights) but the room was OK, maybe Robin, Nancy, and I got the best room.  Went to Library of Congress -- great architecture inside the building; Folger Shakespeare Library -- has an exhibit hall and a reproduction of the Globe Theater (not to scale); Museum of History and Technology (part of the Smithsonian).  Great -- barely saw two of the four floors in an hour and a half -- had women's costumes, large section of film with modern, silent, and a put-a-nickel-in-and-turn-the-crank variety; Department of Interior library -- interesting tour, they seemed glad to have us visit; and National Library of Medicine -- the tour guide liked his job and the library was impressive.  I really liked DC's personality and look forward to going there again -- there is so much to do and see.

Library school is okay -- I'm not as bored as you -- I've only had one test and got a B on that.  Going away the last two weekends made it nice.  The whole family may go down to NYC over Thanksgiving -- not yet definite.

That's all for now.  My birthdate is the 16th of November.  Take care of yourself.

P.S.  Re-reading your letter and thinking back to Atlantic City, there are two other things I want to ask/mention.  You mention Chris' being still upset because Judy married someone else and that you did not want this to happen to you.  What happened to you?  The risk of falling in love with someone, i.e., the fear that that person would leave you hanging?  And what is your new outlook on life and how does it concern other people -- myself in point?  Again, take care of yourself.