Only have 3 more weeks go to. Can hardly wait just for the rest. I've had it. I've been up very night of this week until 3:00 and it really get sort of tiring, exhausting. Plus I have to get up at 7:00 every morning.
You wouldn't believe all the assignments the teachers are piling on us. Some of them are really exciting and I can really get involved with the problems and let myself show, but there 's isn't enough time. Last week we had to make a wall tapestry or weaving (it took me 42 hours to finish the whole thing), and then I only got a B+ on it. My mechanical drawing course is the ruffest class I've got, you're probably laughing, but it's a basic for physics and geometry, plus architectural drafting. Each plate takes about ten house to do.
You know Paul I really liked your last letter. There was something about it that exposed something that I never knew was there. You probably know what I mean. Seemed strange to hear someone else cut up Mike besides myself. I always felt that I was the only one that couldn't stand the kid. It always seemed that everyone was always afraid to tell the kid off. Seemed like everyone just sort of followed him around and did what he wanted to do. If he wanted to shit on em, everyone else did to. If Mike never wanted me along, no one else e3vfer stuck up for me, so half the time I never went. Then it really bothered me, but I've done a lot of growing up and I've had to face a lot of things that I've never had to and now all these things seem odd to me. College has really helped me a lot, more so the kids at school. It's strange, but I need to know offbeat people. They always say that artists have something strange about them and all the artists sort of stick together and most of them are pretty strange. Mike was never the right type of person for me. It seemed in high school everything was all for status -- you had to be in a clique, go to Jamestown, go to all the parties, dances, basketball games, and all that kind of garbage. Most of the people were really afraid to let their true selves out and that was my problem. They never did what they really wanted. Oh well, just talking.
Got a letter from Mardi the other day and she was telling me of her plans to come and see you. She's homesick, I think. She's already counting the day.
I went down to my sister's last weekend. I was going to give you a call, but where they live it's long distance to make a call to Buffalo. I took the bus on Friday. I went right by U of B. It's a nice-looking school. It really looks sort of Ivy League.
Just had my room inspection. I got an excellent. You wouldn't believe my room. It's really cool. There is stuff hanging all over. It's like a museum in a 15 x 12 room.
I agree with you. Sometimes I really wonder what I'm doing and isn't my life going to be worthless. But I know that art is really what I want. It's something that I have become so involved in that I've forgotten all my worries about everything else. Whatever you do, don't give up. You've got a lot of brains and a lot of talent. You are probably twice as smart as I ever was that's for sure.
I've sort of given up drinking for good. Mainly because my ulcer and because it never made any sense. I sure remember the summer when you and Mike kept shoving that damn beer down my throat, or trying to get it down. Just because it was the thing to do when you get to college. Maybe at a Pa school, but not in the schools in New York or at least the schools in the city. I didn't smoke this weekend at all (I was at Karen's). I got some hash for this weekend though. You probably think I'm turning into some sort of drug addict, but I'm not and never will. Drugs are much better for a person than alcohol and some day it's going to be legal. Drugs are really common here -- especially among art students. I think they could really help you. When I say drugs I just mean marijuana and hash. After that forget it -- then it's dangerous. You get high, but not like alcohol. It's a great high. You have a better understanding of the things around you and the best part of them is that you really find yourself. My one professor said a creative person should smoke marijuana to let the true self show. It's really helped me a lot. I'm not using it for an escape like alcohol. It's something I only do maybe twice a month and it's usually when I'm in a mental conflict with myself and it really helps me to get out. There are so many fake stories written about drugs, and anyone who finds out someone is on drugs, well that's it for them. It's not true at all. I've smoked maybe six times since I got to school. The first time it never hit me. But now I can smoke and really turn out some great stuff. I'll probably smoke once or twice more and quit. You'll have to try it though Paul. You're the type of person that would really go for it. Maybe it will be a down for you though. Some people it effects different than others. But you'd really like it.
I trust you enough that you wont' say anything about this to anyone. You're the only person from Warren that I've told and you're the only person from Warren I want to know. Rumors have a way of getting started. You might tell someone then someone else and pretty soon my parents know and I've had it. They don't understand any of this and it would just make trouble. So please don't tell anyone at all. I haven't told Mardi, or anyone else cause I don't think they'd understand. But friends are for secrets and to be trusted. I guess I told you cause may be you could understand me a lot better if you knew. So please it's just between you and I.
I've got another paper due Thursday so I better get busy. Well write when you get the chance.
