September 21, 1973 (Letter from Chris)

Receiving your letter this morning was almost frighteningly coincidental.  Only last night I saw Paul Rosen while at work.  He was in the Sign of the Steer for a salad and stayed long enough to watch the Riggs-King tennis match.  I only had a few minutes to talk to him since I was working upstairs, and he was at the bar downstairs.  He told me he was living on Long Island and looking for a job.  I mentioned that I hadn't seen you and was wondering what you were doing.  He asked about Tony and I couldn't offer any information.  Then we spoke of Kenny and Lauren, briefly.

It is funny you should feel the same way about Kenny and Lauren as I do.  They are both good people -- but I guess I don't see them as a married couple.  I am surprised that I feel the way I do -- that is, being hurt that I wasn't invited to the wedding.  Tony, you, Herb, Eric, Linda -- and I'm sure Liz and all of Lauren's girlfriends from State.  Not that I could have gone -- but it would have been a nice gesture of him to invite me.  The more I think of it -- the more ashamed I am of myself for feeling this way - -but I do feel it.

On top of this thought is the thought just relayed to me when I called home today -- that Judi Haberman just got married to an old friend of mine.  I know they were going to, but just hearing of it and about how swanky the whole thing was makes me sick.  (Perhaps it's jealousy -- and that's what really scares me.)  For some reason I think of Judi often and though I've had several girlfriends and lived with a handful of women since her -- I can't seem to forget her like I have the rest.  Hell -- I can't even remember what Liz looks like.  Yes -- those 3 years at 4028 Bailey Avenue were real fairy tale years -- my whole 4 years at UB were like that.  And now here I am -- in real life -- a worthless piece of shit -- stagnating in a job with little intellectual satisfaction.  All the people I ever knew and were close to are doing something -- (even if it's getting married -- at least they're happy -- or think they are.)  I know I'm not happy. 

And often the thought comes to me of how I've gone and lost some good friends.  Herb is foremost in my mind -- but even you and Kenny were close to me and at one point I felt I knew all of you.  Now I wonder if either of them would even know me if they passed me on the street.  As far as Eric and Linda go -- all I can say (when I'm not laughing) is that they deserve each other.  What more can one say about two people who you know will be absolutely the same when they are 80 years old and living in Miami.

I don't know if you are aware of what I'm doing now -- but it's the same thing I've been doing since I finished school.  I am the assistant manager of Sign of the Steer Restaurant on Main St. down from UB.  I am also the Head Bartender which can be taken either one of two ways.  I've been here since last Oct 4 when I returned to Buffalo to live with Judi and found out that she didn't want it that way anymore.  So that makes it almost a year now that I've been here and maybe soon I'll need a vacation.  Toward the end of June I decided I couldn't take Buffalo any longer, so I gave notice.  So -- I packed up and split cross-country with a girl I had been seeing. UCLA so I decided she was a good excuse to move to L.A. see some of the good old USA.  It was a big mistake -- the trip was nice -- and there is some beautiful country here -- but the big towns are all the same, and people don't change.  L.A. was really a drag, and when I couldn't find a job and had to pay $240/month for an unfurnished 2 BR apt. -- I decided that it just wasn't the right time to be there.  So I came back to Buffalo and got my job back.  I stayed with a girl I had been seeing before I left and we went to find an apartment together.  So now here we are, Cheri and myself in a real nice, cozy (small) place on Lisbon right off of Bailey (across from Mueller's Delicatessen).

I sure hope you can get down here some time.  We could sit and reminisce, in case you are interested we do have a phone (unlisted) 716-833-9661.

Now that we are writing -- let's try to keep it up.

I'd write more now -- but it's time for me to get to work and I want to get this off to you today.  Take care and keep your head together.

July 13, 1972 (Letter from Kenny)

I just got to work this morning and I wanted to tell you all about the excitement in my life for the past few weeks.  Right now I'm very pissed off because I'm drenched and the last thing i"m in the mood to do is start working.  Oh well if I don't think about it maybe it will go away (I'm glad I can face adversity now that I'm a college graduate.)

First off I got your letter about 2 weeks ago and have read and re-read it several times.  I really think you've found some sort of inner happiness and I'm really glad.  The book obviously affected you deeply and undoubtedly will be a very important factor in your life in the years ahead.  I was about to read Look Homeward Angel when I got your letter but instead decided on You Can't Go Home Again.  I went to 6 bookstores including three of the biggest in the city and everyone was out of it.  I think you started something.  Finally I got a copy but haven't read very much because it is deep and I spend more time underlining and thinking than I do reading.

I haven't been doing an awful lot but Lauren is coming home tomorrow night so things will definitely get better.  I'm really looking forward to seeing her.  I get a letter every day but I definitely have missed her.  The only positive aspect of her going away has been that I have had a lot of time to call people form Wantagh and spent some time with Mindy (the girl Lauren went with) boyfriend but he left for the camp the beginning of July.  I've seen Bob Marks (Lloyd's roommates) and last Saturday we saw the Mets play the Dodgers, one of the few games the Mets have won recently.  Herb was in town this past weekend and I saw him for awhile.  He is not too pleased about his social life but likes his job a lot.  I also saw Chris for the first time since school ended.  It was not very enlightening but I figured I'd go see him.  He is upset about him and Judy (I'm sure that's improper grammar but you're the English major).  From what Linda Glickman told Herb who told me he's got a lot to worry about.  Chris doesn't know and as much as I realize I should tell him I can't bring myself to because it would crush him.  He thinks Judy is contemplating going to bed with some guy but she's actually been balling a goodly number of people and is hanging around bars looking for it.  It's a shame she had to start now after school's ended, just kidding of course.  Meanwhile I haven't gotten stoned since I'm home I think I'm witnessing withdrawals.  My hands shake a lot and my eyes turn red for no apparent reason.  A kid that works here sells quite a bit but he's been on vacation for awhile.  Now that I think of it I have smoked with him several times during lunch hour, I guess I'm not going into withdrawal after all.  I wrote another letter to Tony, my first one I mailed to 60 LeBrun instead of 75 and I doubt that he got it.  The Stones are going to be here the 24th, 25th, and 26th and to get tickets you had to send in a postcard and then a computer randomly selected cards and assigned tickets.  Naturally I didn't get picked but I know someone here that did and I'm getting two of her tickets (you're allowed 4).  Oh well people are looking at me wondering when I'm going to start work because it's 9:35 (we start at 9:00).  Take it easy and I'll write again soon.  Remember to bring out the beets and shine on the garbage or something like that.