April 23, 1974 (Letter from Chris)

Sorry it's taken me so long to return your letter, but a number of things have come up which have kept me from sitting down.

First off, I've left my job at the Great Gatsby (where I had been transferred) to find a happier working environment.  For the last 3 weeks, unemployment has been my only occupational activity.  It seems it was easier to get everything done when I was working then it is now.  Between going to unemployment offices -- this office, that office, and job hunting  I put in more work than I did working at the restaurant.

My other time consumer is trying to find an apartment for the summer and fall.  Cheri and I are going to move.  Her mother is moving back to Buffalo, so we have to find separate apartments. This is not all bad however -- since things have been getting very tense at times between Cheri and myself.  I will probably look for a place with Zeb, a friend of mine from Pakistan -- and his girlfriend from Tahiti (or is it Haiti).  When I find where I'm at -- I'll send you the address.  

Right now I'm listening to Beethoven's 6th and my two canaries, that think it's an opera.  They make more noise than any pet I've ever had.  I was going to roast them at first, but I've decided to prove my superiority by tolerating them.

I think you told me two (or was it three) times before that you had broken ties with her.  I just read an article in Cosmo about men like you -- who possess weak, obsessive women until they are no longer needed and then casually discard them until they are needed again.  You always were a monster Paul!

Getting back to reality -- I hope your job this summer -- whether in Boston or N.Y. -- is enjoyable. Either way I'm sure it will be better than a Buffalo summer.

In your letter, you ask about a noticed changed in my social life.  Yes, it seems that all I do is work, go out for a drink, come home, go to sleep, do my odds and ends for 3 or 4 hours, and then start all over again.  My day off is almost always a different combination of the same 5 activities. Visit Cheri's relatives, do a laundry, go to a movie, cook a meal, get stoned and watch TV.  That's about it.  It really gets to be a drag.  My life is so "normal" and "regular", I can predict Cheri's stomach aches, headaches, menstrual cramps.  I am very slowly beginning to break out of that.  I am not strong enough to do it all at once -- I suppose because I don't want to hurt Cheri -- or myself.  Getting separate apartments will be the beginning.  Then if I can find a nice job -- most other problems will work themselves out.

So Paul -- when you get around to it, write again -- let me know where you'll be this summer.

I'll send you my new address as soon as I know it.  Take care.

September 21, 1973 (Letter from Chris)

Receiving your letter this morning was almost frighteningly coincidental.  Only last night I saw Paul Rosen while at work.  He was in the Sign of the Steer for a salad and stayed long enough to watch the Riggs-King tennis match.  I only had a few minutes to talk to him since I was working upstairs, and he was at the bar downstairs.  He told me he was living on Long Island and looking for a job.  I mentioned that I hadn't seen you and was wondering what you were doing.  He asked about Tony and I couldn't offer any information.  Then we spoke of Kenny and Lauren, briefly.

It is funny you should feel the same way about Kenny and Lauren as I do.  They are both good people -- but I guess I don't see them as a married couple.  I am surprised that I feel the way I do -- that is, being hurt that I wasn't invited to the wedding.  Tony, you, Herb, Eric, Linda -- and I'm sure Liz and all of Lauren's girlfriends from State.  Not that I could have gone -- but it would have been a nice gesture of him to invite me.  The more I think of it -- the more ashamed I am of myself for feeling this way - -but I do feel it.

On top of this thought is the thought just relayed to me when I called home today -- that Judi Haberman just got married to an old friend of mine.  I know they were going to, but just hearing of it and about how swanky the whole thing was makes me sick.  (Perhaps it's jealousy -- and that's what really scares me.)  For some reason I think of Judi often and though I've had several girlfriends and lived with a handful of women since her -- I can't seem to forget her like I have the rest.  Hell -- I can't even remember what Liz looks like.  Yes -- those 3 years at 4028 Bailey Avenue were real fairy tale years -- my whole 4 years at UB were like that.  And now here I am -- in real life -- a worthless piece of shit -- stagnating in a job with little intellectual satisfaction.  All the people I ever knew and were close to are doing something -- (even if it's getting married -- at least they're happy -- or think they are.)  I know I'm not happy. 

And often the thought comes to me of how I've gone and lost some good friends.  Herb is foremost in my mind -- but even you and Kenny were close to me and at one point I felt I knew all of you.  Now I wonder if either of them would even know me if they passed me on the street.  As far as Eric and Linda go -- all I can say (when I'm not laughing) is that they deserve each other.  What more can one say about two people who you know will be absolutely the same when they are 80 years old and living in Miami.

I don't know if you are aware of what I'm doing now -- but it's the same thing I've been doing since I finished school.  I am the assistant manager of Sign of the Steer Restaurant on Main St. down from UB.  I am also the Head Bartender which can be taken either one of two ways.  I've been here since last Oct 4 when I returned to Buffalo to live with Judi and found out that she didn't want it that way anymore.  So that makes it almost a year now that I've been here and maybe soon I'll need a vacation.  Toward the end of June I decided I couldn't take Buffalo any longer, so I gave notice.  So -- I packed up and split cross-country with a girl I had been seeing. UCLA so I decided she was a good excuse to move to L.A. see some of the good old USA.  It was a big mistake -- the trip was nice -- and there is some beautiful country here -- but the big towns are all the same, and people don't change.  L.A. was really a drag, and when I couldn't find a job and had to pay $240/month for an unfurnished 2 BR apt. -- I decided that it just wasn't the right time to be there.  So I came back to Buffalo and got my job back.  I stayed with a girl I had been seeing before I left and we went to find an apartment together.  So now here we are, Cheri and myself in a real nice, cozy (small) place on Lisbon right off of Bailey (across from Mueller's Delicatessen).

I sure hope you can get down here some time.  We could sit and reminisce, in case you are interested we do have a phone (unlisted) 716-833-9661.

Now that we are writing -- let's try to keep it up.

I'd write more now -- but it's time for me to get to work and I want to get this off to you today.  Take care and keep your head together.

August 12, 1972 (Letter from Chris)

Just a quick note before I go to work.  Hope everything's still going well for you.  Things are fine here except that I have not had time to do anything but work and sleep.  I did get to see the Stones when they were here, but it wasn't so great.

Are you or aren't you going back to school?  Maybe by now you've decided to become a monk and do all your writing on some distant mountain top.  No, huh?  Well, it's just as well.

I've just harvested my first crop of grass from the yard, and in a few days, when it's completely dried I'll put it to the test.  I wonder what ever happened to all the stuff growing on the side at 4028 Bailey.

Herb and Kenny dropped by on Saturday while I was still sleeping.  They were very exciting to see and be with.  Kenny and Lauren still aren't married.  Herb has nothing to do after work, so he's starting to build an amplifier from a kit.

Work is starting to get interesting now.  I usually stay after I'm closed up -- and sit at the bar with a few kids.  Sometimes we get stoned -- and just sit around till 4:30-5:30 in the morning.  If we get hungry -- well, it's a fucking restaurant isn't it.  I've even been raped twice in the last month.  Unfortunately by the same girl both times.  (I think I'm pregnant.)  Last month my life was threatened by four rather obscene youngsters who didn't like the fact that I was having them arrested for theft of service.  (They walked out without paying.)  But these things happen.  What would life be like without some excitement.  Unexciting,  probably.

There's not much for me to say now.  I just finished writing to an old friend, and it seems that every time I write two letters in a row the second is always from hunger.  So I apologize for writing and not saying anything.

But I just wanted to say hello -- send my best wishes and see if you're still alive.  Drop a note sometime.  And if you think you'll be around here sometime -- give an advance notice.  If you'll be back at school, I'll definitely see you there whenever I visit.  Be good - take care.

June 15, 1972 (Letter from Chris)

I have an hour to write before I have to leave for work.  It has been a very hectic month since I've been home. I started work immediately at Ronnie's Steak House, and only got a raise to $3.00/hr.  Then I had a lot of trouble getting a day off which I needed.  They said no -- I said "fuck you".  They tried to punish me by taking me off the schedule for two day.s  I tried to tell them that I wasn't playing games, that this was now my permanent job, at lest for awhile.  They didn't take me seriously so I went to look for another job.  And now -- get this -- I am the 2nd Assistant Manager of Steak and Brew in Merrick, L. I.  $10,400/a year start -- 1 week vacation after 6 months -- 2 weeks after 1 year.  It's an interesting job -- nice people -- but long hours. I haven't seen Judy except to go to Herb's sister's wedding *which was OK -- no big deal -- stranger people there.)

Since I am no longer a lonely blue collar worker, I've had to start building up a collection of clothes -- so I go to all the cheapie sales -- shirts $2.99, suits $29.99.  Real fancy!  Huh?

I met a really nice young lady last week.  She was a waitress at the first Steak and Brew where I trained for two weeks.  The relationship started really fast - she was very aggressive.  For three days it built and grew -- and a day later she just went dead -- I mean -- nothing.  It was the strangest fucking thing that's ever happened to me and any girl.  But I should have expected it, because she was (is) very mixed up.  She tried to commit suicide last year -- she's all fucked up with her parents and boyfriend.  So now I haven't talked to her for a while, and I'm becoming more and more aggravated by what happened.  I'm not hurt - I'm just confused and would like to be able to understand her.

So what else is new -- nothing.  No dope here that is exceptional.  I have some really good grass -- never tires you out -- but I paid $25 for a rather small ounce.

Tony was down here visiting Harvey, and Herb, Kenny and I went out to a sleazy  bar with them.  Kenny hates his job -- Herb hasn't got much to say about his yet.

I'm still waiting for the last bills to come from Buffalo.  I got the rent deposit back -- $40 short for various reasons.  (Such as garbage removal, late rent, bad checks, etc etc.)  So it is likely that everyone will owe me some money in the end -- $5 or $7 or so.  I'll let you know later on.

I just sent away for tickets to the Stones concert in July.  I'll never be able to get them -- but at least I'm making the effort.

It's really a drag being out of school, and I get sick every time I think of what I'm missing.  However, I'm going to try to get up to Buffalo once or twice next year.

Boy, it's strange, but I thought I was going to have so much to tell you.  I really miss sitting around the living room like slobs and getting high every night.  Actually I don't miss getting high -- I just miss getting together with people.

Well, I'll try to write something better next time.  I hope you have a fucking great time -- and don't forget to drop a line once in awhile.

Be good!

September 1, 1971 (Letter from Chris)

There is so much to tell you, and I suppose that much of it is not going to be news to you.  Kenny or Tony have probably written you already.

To begin with, Tony called me last night and will be moving into the apartment.  This is the good news.  Now for the bad.

It seems that our apartment was broken into for the second time.  It was on a Thursday night.  Judi and I had been listening to your stereo.  We put the records away at 11:30pm and went to sleep.  Mike and Dennis were up at Goodyear.  At about 12:30 I heard someone pull into the driveway.  Then someone was walking around the house.  We both thought it was our roommates.  Well, it wasn't because M and D came in at 3:30am.  Dennis who has been living in both your room and Herb's noticed that the stereo was gone.  Also about 5-10 of your records and maybe 10-15 of his.  The front window of your room had been opened.  He thought maybe I had moved it, so didn't tell me until the next morning.  Well, we didn't know what the hell to do.

That Friday night (the next night), three young punks came to the front door.  One of them -- he wouldn't tell us his name,k but said something later like Joe P----, was really fucked up on drugs.  He said he left a radio here once, and wanted it back.  He said that one of us had it, that it wasn't in your room where he had left it -- and he hadn't even looked in your room yet.  He was with Doug Schrieber, and another kid with a car.  Mike told me later that Doug was the kid who he saw walk off with Sal's leather boots the day you left.  Anyway, they mentioned something about some raunchy grass.  I explained to them that we were robbed Thursday night, and that the radio and grass were probably taken also.  They seemed to believe otherwise.  Finally after showing them that it was not in any other rooms, they left.  Dennis then told me where the radio was -- outside in the garage.  We also searched the house for hits, and found about 6 oz. of crap in your room.  We figured we had to call the cops to report the heft, so we got rid of it.  Mike drove up to campus and left it on the parking lot.

Well, to make a long story short, we are pretty sure that Doug and his friends had something to do with the robbery.  But we can't be sure.  What kind of friends do you have anyway?

What else is there?  Oh yes.  1.  Do you still have the key to the apartment.  If so please send it back to us.

2.  Bill for Aug came to $7.00 plus change -- please send me a check as soon as possible.  (I am in desperate need for money.)

3.  Send us an estimate of your stereo, amp, speakers, head phones, etc. for insurance purposes.

The cops came Sat Morning and took down all info and left.  No big deal.

Tony moved all your stuff downstairs.

Listen, I've got to go.  In a hurry.  Best of luck with your job, etc.  Be good -- write --

July 3, 1971 (Letter from Chris)

You must be really horny!  What did you do with my Playboy -- rip out the pictures and hang them on the wall?  As of today I still haven't received my July issue-- which you said you would forward.  This mean one of two t hings -- either you are a liar, and you haven't mailed it, or you did send it and it has been lost in the mail. Anyway -- that isn't what I wrote to tell you.

I really wrote to tell you that I am now, at this very moment, suffering from a disease that affects the gums, throat and mucous membranes of my mouth.  It is also known as TRENCH MOUTH!  I woke up this morning and found that my gums were swollen and red.  I brushed my teeth and they bled like crazy.  So I went to the dentist that afternoon and he said that I was developing trench mouth.  He cleaned my mouth out, put me on high potency vitamins and penicillin, and now I have to go back again in a week.

This is not all that's wrong.  It seems that at the same time, I developed infections on two of my fingers.  And this  morning I woke up with a fever.  So if things don't clear up in two more days -- off I go to the hospital for tests.

Of course this couldn't have happened at a better time.  It is a holiday weekend and I'm going to miss two days of work.  What's worse -- Judi's parents are leaving Monday for an entire week -- and I'll probably be sick the whole damn time.

So how are you?  Still giving blood?  Someone told me that you can get very sick from that because your resistance is low.  Now I'm having second thoughts about it.

It's really boring in the city.  I can't wait to get back to Buffalo.  At least there's something to do at the school.  I haven't been able to see one concert this summer, because of the hours I work..  Have there been any decent things happening in Buffalo?

What happened to the Allentown folk festival?

Write to me someday.  I like to get mail.

June 17, 1971 (Letter from Chris)

I got your letter yesterday, so let's take care of business before I tell you about all my summer pleasures.

First, I will (or by this time) will have taken care of the phone bill.  You said that you would reimburse me for the calls not belonging to me, Herb, Ken, or Eric.  There are only two.

5/26  Reynoldsburg, Ohio.   614-864-0610
6/02  Rochester, NY           716-458-7268

This means you (or our sublets) owe me $1.80.  However I owe you $5.00 for the electric bill.  Therefore -- to make things easy I have enclosed $5.00 - $1.80 = $3.20.  Simple -- huh?  With the $3.20 everything should be clear now except for the May gas bill which you should get one of these days.  Let me know how much w will ow you when you get it.

There is really nothing much to tell you.  I got a job in a restaurant as second cook.  I work out on the hearth cooking N.Y. strip steaks, filets, lobster tails, and cutting prime ribs.  It is an interesting job -- but pay is lousy $2.00/hr and I  haven't gotten my promised raise yet.  Tonight was exciting because we had a fire on the hearth.  The grease set on fire and the automatic alarm system and extinguisher went off.  What a racket.  We watched as 300 people ran and walked out of the restaurant.  Many of them left without paying their bills.

When I get back to school -- the last week in August -- I'm going to try to get a job at Scotch and Sirloin or Sizzle Steak.  Right now I'm working T, W, F, Sat, Sun from 3-10 or 4-11 or 12.  That leaves me no time to do anything.  Except go to the beach in the day.

I hope that everything is fine in Buffalo.  Also, since Dennis and Mike are living there, it wouldn't hurt if they cut the lawn (BACK LAWN ALSO) instead of you.  All I can say is I sure as hell don't want to have to come home and clean up the entire kitchen, bathroom, and living room.  I'll let Kenny and Herb do it.

I will be sending my $50 rent and Herb's $10 soon.

Will write again soon.