July 14, 1974 (Letter from Tony)

This letter, rather than being a flowing image filled masterpiece of letter-writing, is designed for informational purposes only.

I'm leaving Walla Walla, by bus, Aug 9 or 10, and I could go to Lake Spread Eagle if you'll be there Aug 11 or 12th.  Or I may go directly on to Columbus  Ohio to see my sister, and go up to Colden, possibly through Pittsburgh or Warren.  I expect to spend a little more than a week in Colden, then go on to Portsmouth, N.H. to visit my friend Jerry.  From there I'm going to Boston to see Michael and travel with him to the wedding.  If you were at the Cape, say from Aug 20-30, I could see you there.

There is a possibility of side trip to Montreal to see Ralph Pearson, who I believe is working in the Queen Elizabeth (Hilton International) in that city.  I probably will be doing the Greyhound Ameripass trip so my travel plans can be adjusted pretty easily.  I hope to run into you somewhere along the way.

P.S.  I enjoyed your short stories very much.  A more detailed discussion can be had when we get together.

P.S.S.  Marmul went to Atlanta, Ga. with old George Pakin, the Albany gambling man.

July 31, 1972 (Letter from Tony)

I'm sitting here on the porch of the Help Center in Gowanda, it's extremely hot and muggy, but we have some broad shade trees, and a nice breeze is blowing through and I feel rather comfortable. 

Time has been racing by.  My summer is drawing to a close and with that, my stay in Buffalo.  I'm going to miss this part of the country.  I know I'll be coming back for vacation but then I'll just be a visitor.  Now I have all the friends and places that have become important to me over the last four years.  Knowing that these will soon be memories, and long distance relationships is pretty sad.

I am trying to maintain a positive frame of mind but it definitely is tempered with sadness.  I am getting psyched up for my trip out there.  I hope to be able to drive Jerry's and my car out.  Jerry may come with me if he gets an interview set up with International University which is somewhere near San Diego.  He's wanting to go there fits in very nicely with a stop in Laguna Beach.  I expect to leave here on Aug 20 and I have to be in Berkeley by Sept 5.

I am now sitting on top of a cliff in Zoar Valley.  It's so incredibly beautiful here.  There are some hawks soaring, they are truly magnificent.

Getting back to my travel plans, would you still be in Laguna Beach around Aug 28-30?  I know that's pretty late if you intent to hitchhike back here.  My route out there will probably be a directly line to Durango, Colorado.  I dont' have all that much time so I'll probably push it from here, across the Plains, until I get into the mountains.  Dr. Jim Homes, the eco professor I worked with has a cabin in the mountains near Durango.  I want to stop by there, from there go on to the Grand Canyon, then down to San Diego and Laguna Beach.  Maybe we could meet in Durango or at the Grand Canyon and spend a few days together.

(I just discovered that this really isn't a 500 ft cliff, it's nothing but a giant anthill.  So goddamn many ants around here.)

I'm going down to see Ralph at Chautauqua today.  I haven't seen him or spoken to him since early June when he stopped by on his way down there.

I went home again last week.  It was very nice again.  One thing bothered me though, that was I regress when I go there, going back at least partially to the sort of actions and ways of thinking that I had when I lived there four years ago.  It's distressing to realize that is still part of me.  I definitely want to try to work that out in the time I have remaining here.  A lot of insecurities that aren't apparent or even relevant other places, came up there.

I saw Michael Kanter two weeks ago.  He came up for a week.  He had a pretty good time in Europe and was in good spirits.

Work in Gowanda has improved.  In the beginning I felt totally useless and somewhat frustrated.  But now that we have the kids working together on a few projects, an ingenious project of utilizing all their energy for public relations for the Help Center.  They get a chance to work together and get something organized.  The socializing processes her are quite poor.

I moved out of 75 LeBrun, I am now living partly at that place, partly at 41 LeBrun, partly at 11 Merrimac, partly at 105 E Main Springville, partly in Colden, partly at Sunshine House and partly in Gowanda.  A very confusing existence but it's working out well.

Your excitement on reading You Can't Go Home Again came across extremely well in your letter and it was very good to see.  It was also very fine to get the stimulation that your letters provide.  As of yet, I don't have the ultimate goal in my life in sight.  Maybe it's to be a lawyer.  T hat so far is the closest thing I've found to what I want to be, but I'll have to experience it a little more before I can say for sure.  I do know now, that I have the patience and the discipline and the strength to dedicate myself to whatever goal does come up.  Right now I am not concentrating on that one goal, now is a time of preparation.  I have a few more things to work out and then I will be completely ready for whatever may come.  I am working on my social development, extending the bounds of where I have been.  Jerry and I have spent a lot of time together and have exchanged a tremendous amount.  My relationship with Joan is the best I have ever had with a girl and has enabled me to work  out some fears and inhibitions.  Both of these people I admire greatly and have been able to get close enough to study these aspects of them that I admire and learn from them.

Joanie knows how to enjoy herself and have other people enjoy.  She is, along with you, one of the two most positive people that I know.  Jerry has a tremendous ability to organize thoughts ad come to some logical problem solving solution.  The more I can pick up from these tow, the better I will be able to be.

Jerry also has a charisma, a natural leadership that comes about from a good deal of self-confidence and a gentle way of directing a situation.  Again, a valuable asset, one that reduces tensions and frustrations and expedites action.

Yes, Paul, life is a process and we are able to make it a life giving process or a death inviting one.  And, yes Paul, you and I are on the way up.  I feel a need for a challenge, a testing of my mettle, a totally intense trip.  Do you remember when Ralph and Tom went canoeing in the Cattaraugus and tipped over.  Ralph and I talked about that later and that was a really beautiful thing that they went through.  To raise the energy output raises the returns.  To know how to channel that energy towards your self-selected goals is a true art.  To know ho much you can put out, which at this point seems to me to be almost limitless, and how much it will cost are extremely valuable things.  But then, you already know this.

I get almost a religious feeling sitting here surrounded by so much beauty.  The stream, ever moving, the valley, so huge and peaceful, the trees, the sky, the hawks, the sun, the wind all this is so basic and so pure and so powerful and so simple.  Bob Dylan wrote a poem to Woody Guthrie and Woody was very sick and mentally ill.  He was in Brooklyn State Hospital. The ending of the poem, after it asked how can you go on when you re so far down and where can you find hope.  (I don't know the exact wording) said you'll find God in heaven and you''l find Woody Guthrie in the Brooklyn State Hospital but for me, I'll find them both in the Grand Canyon. So, see you in the Grand Canyon as we've met here in Zoar.

July 25, 1970 (Letter from Kenny)

How has it been going?  Sorry I didn't write sooner but with my mother leaving for Europe things were pretty hectic.  She left Thursday night on a 747 and it left a half-hour late which is pretty amazing.

I don't remember whether I told you about the Sly concert (7/11) but it was very good but not great.  Rare Earth was also there but they were only pretty good.  The next week was Simon & Garfunkel and naturally it was what you would expect from S&G.  The only problem was that they were alone and played for 2 hours which is a lot but the concert seemed short.  When they finished "Bridge Over Troubled Water" the house came down and were given a 5 minute standing ovation after that one number.

Now that my mother isn't here I have the car all the time which really doesn't excite me overwhelmingly.  Yesterday I bought my new stereo, the same on as you except that instead of "50" speakers I got "50A" which are the same size but the new model.  They had a sale and for the same price I paid ($180 with tax) I could have gotten these huge, great speakers.  They were the same height but twice as wide as the "50A" and sounded really great.  I couldn't figure where the hell I'd put them so I didn't get them.  It's just as well.  Last night after I set up the stereo I got stoned and listened to most of my records.  I haven't gotten many new ones only Melanie and Let It Be.

I've tried to call Michael a few times but he's never been home.  I still have his check.  I see Herb and Chris pretty often and I've seen Eric a couple of times.

So when are you going to come to the "Big City"?  Let me know so I can contact and mayor and maybe he'll give you a key to the city.  On Aug 5 outside concert in Manhattan will have Chicago and Guess Who and I'm thinking of going even though I saw Chicago last month.

Oh yeah, a while ago we went to the track and in one race a horse name Fort Nelson was running so I bet on him for win (1st) and show (3rd)  Herb bet him to win and Chris to place (2nd).

The whole race we were all screaming "come on Paul" and everybody around us thought we knew the jockey or something.  You did pretty good, a photo finish but came in second, so remind me to hit you when I see you.  Well that's about all for now.  Take it easy and write when you can.

P.S.  I read Catch-22 also, and the Godfather which was great.

February 9, 1970 (Letter from Patty)

Well, I started classes Thursday and I get the feeling that this semester isn't going to be any better than last.  I have terrible courses and terrible teachers.  I didn't even get into half of the courses I wanted.  My grades for 1st semester weren't too good -- about 2.3 and in general, I guess this isn't going to be the best year of my life.

I didn't have a really terrific time at Elizabeth's (in New Jersey), but it was quite interesting.  I saw her father's art work and got to help him in one of his classes.  Elizabeth was with her boyfriend most of the time though so mostly I just read a lot.  Have you read Steppenwolf by Hesse yet?  If you haven't, try to.  It's a great book.

I've been trying to keep pretty busy since I got back here so that I don't get bored too soon.  Friday night James Taylor and Mickel Cooney were here in concert.  It was really good.

Well, this is just a quick letter cause I've got to go to my printmaking class.  That's what I finally decided to major in and it's the only class I like and the only teacher I like.

Say hello to Ken and Mike for me.