August 20, 1997 (Note Card from Connie)

Well, I made it .  It's been frantic here lately and just now have gotten around to getting in touch with people.

Started out just after Labor Day weekend.  Stayed over in Yellowstone (ripoff of all time), and then in Helena.  You wouldn't believe Helena these days -- really neat.   They've extended the mall, and there's all kinds of cute shops and cafes.  Had dinner at Bert and Ernies with Kathy Brown and a few of the old-timers.  (Not many are still there -- really bad problems at the State Library these days.  As always.)  

Got into Seattle late Thursday.  didn't have much time to relax, because Sunday we got word that my Aunt Petrea in California had died.  So we all packed up and ran down to Eureka.

Our family being what it is, the whole thing was more like a wake or a family reunion than a funeral. A lot of pulling closer together, and very few tears.

In between my various travels, I've been job hunting, of course.  No luck so far, but then it's early yet.  Might be able to latch onto a few short-term consultant things, until the "real thing" comes along.  Will keep you posted on that.

In the meantime, I've been gadding about, seeing people and spending money as if I had it.  And trying very hard to put up with good ol' mom, and with the fact that all my stuff is packed away (including my books -- argh! -- my stationary -- everything!)

Will be taking a European history class in October, and I'm trying to get into a ceramics class -- so I can throw some pots, and make my Christmas presents this year.  Haven't seen any films lately, but my cousin Peter has shamed me into reading some good books -- like Dos Passos' U.S.A.  Will let you know about that one when I get into it.

For now, I'm relaxing, soaking up the rain, and enjoying all the good things of Seattle.  And there are so many!

November 6, 1976 (Letter from Connie)

How long has it been since I've written?  Ages, I'm sure.  I did write you after I got back ro Europe, didn't I?  I was bonkers for a long time after that, so I'm really not sure.  I'm much better now.

I'm going to Seattle for Thanksgiving, and of course I'm all excited about that.  Wrangled a couple of extra days off, so I'l have a whole week there!  I'll be frantically busy -- as always.  Seems an old high school pal is getting married, (which, knowing her, is a real shock!), and I'm going to a psychic in Victoria B.C.  The former will be a drag, and I'm really looking forward to the latter.  Pam had gone to see this woman, and she really helped her.  So a friend and I are going.  It's cheaper than a shrink, and maybe I'll find out whether there's any hope at all, or whether I should just snuff it and be done with it.

I know you've heard this one before, but I've decided to move back home.  Enough of this "seeing the world" jazz.  I've got rain in my very blood -- and sunshine just doesn't make it.  Right now I'm kind of targeting next Labor Day.  That would make three full years of Rocky Mountain winters and owing my soul to Ma Bell.  And that's enough.

Let me see now, what else have I been doing?  Ran to Nebraska to see some relatives over Labor Day. I'd always thought of them as being half a continent away -- and they are, from Seattle.  But from here it's only ten hours on the road.  I'd never been out there before, and it's fun, out on teh farm.  And how things change:  one cousin now has five kids (what a madhouse), another (Lorraine), has two kids, is divorced, and works as a welder, and then there's dear Little Allen. Last time I saw Allen he was a 12 year old nurd.  He's now 6'6" and gorgeous.  And he's my cousin -- BOO HOO!  Dammit.

I had some friends out from Seattle in October, so all has not been too bleak.

Oh!  News flash.  Talked to Lynne Stevenson in Helena.  She's now at Carroll College, and the State Library is as always, degenerating even further.  But the news is that Kathy and Ray Brown has split!!  Talk about a shock.  Got a card from Kathy sans Ray the other day -- just a "hi -- how are you" -- and I 'spose a note that they're still in the land of the living.  Geez -- out of all the couples in teh world I had them pegged to giggle and drink beers together for all eternity.

What did you think of the elections?  For the first time in my life I backed a winner!  And whatever else you say about the Georgian, he won't be dull.  I was a little worried though:  did you hear that a dictionary publisher somewhere, in preparing the new edition, had put an entry in for Carter as the 39th President.  Guess he did that when J.C. was 35 pts. ahead.  But when it got so close I started fearing for that edition -- but what a collector's item -- kind of like the Sinner's Bible -- you know the one that has:

"Thou shalt not kill
Thous shalt not steal
Thou shalt commit adultery"!

As for me, boredom prevails.  Been working some more on the piano.  Have now gone, on a scale of 1-10, from 0 to about 2.  Enjoying it enormously, though.

Did you see "Play It Again, Sam" on TV the other night?  Hadn't seen that one before.  Super film! So of course I've been going over my Casablance book for the last two days (its full script with all stills).  What a film!  And GWTW is coming to TV.  What a sacrilege!  I read that it will be split over two nights -- 5 hours of film and 78 minutes of commercials.  Saw it here in Cheyenne a couple of weeks ago -- how it holds up.  And Clark Gable has got everyone else in the world topped.  But on TV -- no.



Finally saw "M" -- it was on PBS a couple of weeks ago.  Blessedly it was in German with subtitles.  (Don't have enuf German to follow it -- but I really dislike dubbing.)  Powerful flick -- and a fearful omen (in 1931) of German fear and mobishness.

"Read any good books, lately?"  I haven't.  Been reading Ceram's "Gods, Graves and Scholars" -- would you believe I hadn't read it before?  And just finished my annual fall read of the Stewart Merline books (Crystal Cave, Hollow Hills).  And in a few weeks, when the world is all bleak and it feels as though winter will never end, I get to re-read the Chronicles of Narnia (for 5th graders) and then the Tolkien trilogy.

Gotta go -- getting writer's cramp.  But I'm surviving.  Sort of.

Take care, and keep in touch.

June 27, 1976 (Letter from Connie)

I feel about two inches high.  I'd started a letter to you a couple of weeks ago, got sidetracked (due to one of this spring's jaunts), and found the #$%*&% unfinished, unmailed letter this morning.

So looks like I owe you some catching up for the last few weeks.  Went to Seattle over Memorial Day.  Tried to eat and drink my way through town, and see everyone, go everywhere, and do everything in three days.  Stayed over for a fourth, still hadn't made it, but by that time I was so exhausted I just went home.  Did manage to see my pals and my family.  My brother and his wife have bought some land (5 acres!) way north of Everett, and are planing on building within a year or so.  Went slogging up through it.  It's way out in the boondocks which suits them very well indeed. Had a chance to see my old neighbor Anke and her kids (did you ever gete a chance to meet them while you were in Seattle?  You couldn't forget Anke:  she's German, about 5'6:, slender and beautiful.)  It was a lucky chance getting to see them, because they left for Germany for the summer that next Tuesday.  She's the one I'm to meet and travel around with.  My mom called yesterday to tell me that rumor has it Anke might not be able to find someone to take care of the two children for those three weeks, and so might not be able to gad around with me.  Egads but that drops the bottom out of everything.  Well, maybe not:  Either we'll find someone to take the kids, or I'll just pop up to England (grumble grumble: I'm not in the mood to go to England), or we'll take them with us.  They're not bad kids (Mark's 10 and Kim's 9, and very nice, smart, well-behaved kids).  Doubt that they'd be interested in going to the Louvre, or clamering up to the Parthenon, but then maybe they might.  Either way, something will work out.  Has to.  Things have been going so well for this trip that it really feels as though God wants me to go -- and that nothing and nobody can stand in my way.

Where was I?  Oh.  After I got back from Seattle (thoroughly exhausted), I hung around Cheyenne for three days, and then hightailed it off to Denver for SLA for four.  Stayed in the Hilton (La-di-da!) with two others, so the bill was not too bad.  16th floor:  terrific view.  I've been to better conferences:  it seemed a little disjointed to me.  All the good workshops were scheduled at conflicting times (of course).  But the exhibits were good.  Ran into a couple of people I knew from Montana, including Ruth Solli (sp?), Lavern Kohl's daughter who now is head of the Reference Room at the State Library (Lavern's old job -- that sort of arrangement is Alma Jacob's way.)  Ruth is preetty nice -- looks so much like Lavern you could faint.  But things seem to be going pretty well there.  Darleen T. is still head of BPH -- I don't know whether they're planning on getting a professional in for the job.  Lynne Stevenson has left, and starts at Carroll College in August. (Talked to Lynne a few weeks ago:  seems Dick Peel was hiding in the woodwork in Helena all this time, and only last month (?) finally dug himself out to make his way to Phoenix.  NOT Salt Lake City, as I'd understood.  Something seemed to have happened, but nobody quite knows what, and from what Lynne said, nobody felt close enough to Dick to ask what.  Hmmm.  Well at least he's off to Phoenix now.)

After SLA, rushed back to Cheyenne, and have been working my little fingers to the bone (sort of) for the last few weeks.  The job has its ups and downs and I'm just now coming up from a down. When I got back from Denver, my desk was piled high with so much housekeeping crud that it took me three days to get through it.  Really hate that kind of junk:  orders, circulation, physical processing of new books  shelving, SHIFTING (BLECHH!!!)  So help me, everytime I imagine I see the Light At The End Of The Tunnel, the tunnel caves in.  The cave-in this time was 1.  A monster annotated bibliography we're going to have published, and 2. Six new boxes of books that got dug out of storage that I had to find something to do with, and 3. Umpteen zillion little interruptions to hep patrons, to do subject searches, to mess with carpenters building shelves (and not building shelves), annotations of new books for the newsletter, and on and on, ad nauseum.

Thing is, I like my job, and I keep telling myself that it suits me perfectly, but I want to go home. This bit of being twelve hundred miles from everybody gets me down.  I have drinking buddies in Cheyenne, but I don't really have any friends here: nobody to call up and gab with, or drop in on, or run off to see a movie with.  Helena was much better in that respect.  And everytime I call someone "at my back I always near, Ma Bell's winged cash register hurrying near" (to mutilate Andrew Marvell).  I can't drive to Seattle, it takes two full days each way, and to fly costs close to $200.  The only thing any one wants to do around here is get drunk.  So I go drinking, but drinking's

You mentioned in your letter about that time we were at the Northlake Tav, and how you were feeling so apprehensive, and how at Horatio's you felt something was blocking your way home.  (I could feel something was wrong, that you felt uncomfortable, but I couldn't figure out what it might be -- it never occurred to me that it might be something like that mess at Deer Lodge.)  I mention that because I seem to be surrounded by psychic people.  My mom called last Saturday.  Pam had gotten this really awful feeling, quite suddenly, and ran frantically from work (leaving her purse in the process -- so like Pam!, trying to find mom.  The target of fear must have mom, because she'd been up t Mike & Benita's, had been feeling weird, and drove home about as fast as a snail. She got home all right, and Pam's fear passed.  They tired to call me, to see it I was the target, but I was off shopping, and they finally got hold of me that evening.  I hadn't had any vibes, or any problems.  I tell ya, it really makes me mad:  everybody's psychic but me.  It's not fair -- I can't even tell when the phone's going to ring!!  Well, that's not absolutely true. I get weak vibes once in a while, but only for good things, and only about me.  Or maybe it's just luck.  Who's to say.  And then I have a lucky day (very important things happen for me every year for the last four, no, five, years on this one day, or close to it, and I'm lucky on the 14th, and especially Friday the 13th. Hmm.)

Been running around frantically trying to get ready for my trip.  Got my ticket, my Eurailpass, my International driver's license (just in case), an American Express card (just in case), my passport, a 26" suitcase, and on and on, and I get my traveler's checks next week.  And then you wouldn't believe my shopping list, all the wile-you're-over-there-do-you-think-you-could-pick-up...would you believe:  a case of German beer, two German beersteins, a German aviator's hat (7 1/2), some liquor filled chocolate, three loaves of German bread, some Italian jewelry, and an inflatable Greek god (in lieu of the real thing).  And of course big-hearted sucker that I am I always agree.  Who'm I trying to kid?  I love getting presents for people -- can I bring you something?

So I leave July 6th, and will be back August 4th.  Finally got my flight schedule:  have to be down at the airport in Denver at 8 a.m.  YECHH!  Finally figured out that the only way I could get there would be to take the 4:30 a.m. Greyhound from here.  Tried to bribe some of my pals at work to drive me down, but couldn't con anyone into getting up in time to pick me up at 6 a.m., drive 100 miles and turn around and rive 100 miles back.  It was a good try.  And then, of course, the plane gets in here at 2:30 a.m.  What fun. Told you that there's now some doubt that Anke would not be able to gad around with me.  Really hope that's not true.  Had my heart set on going to Italy -- ooh -- been reading the guidebooks about all the things to see in Rome and Florence, and my God, Naples.  We'll see. We'll see. I'm fated to go to Europe this summer, but I just don't quite know exactly where.  So maybe I'm fated to go back to England.  Be interesting to find out.

Have I told you about my black thumb, about how I will kill every plant I come near?  Well, seems to have changed.  Got three plants last fall, killed two of them, but the third one is a hearty little fellow and he's still hanging in there!  Even had to transplant him yesterday because he outgrew his little pot.  He's called a pepperomia (sp?) or something like that, and he has these really fat leaves, and might even turn into a tree or some such.  I'm really quite amazed. Then I got cuttings from a couple of plants at work, stuck them in water, and lo and behold if they didn't get roots.  Almost fell over.  Stuck them in some dirt yesterday, and I'm kind of anxious to see what happens.  One of them (a Wandering Jew??) has little mottled green leaves and looks diseased to me, but through giggles at my horticultural inanities I'm told it's supposed to look like that, so I guess it's OK.  Haven't got the faintest idea what the other one is, but it has green and purple striped leaves and really looks neat.  Hope they survive.  But then I wouldn't lay odds.  (I'm having some people watch my place while I'm gone, so I won't worry about them.)  They'll probably be very healthy while I'm gone, only for me to come back and kill them.  That's about my speed.)

Let me see.  I haven't read any books at all lately (I'm getting illiterate) but have you see "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest", or "Robin and Marion"? Superb!  Both of them.  Very, very different of course, but both very good.  The romantic in me loves R & M.  Audrey Hepburn is so gorgeous I could strangle her.  Drat.  She is now tied with Garbo in my book as The Most Beautiful Woman Ever Known.  Do manage to see a few good films on the tube here.  Saw "The Philadelphia Story" (Hepburn-Grant-Stewart, 1940, director by Cukor), and last night caught "Viva Zapata" (Brandon, 1952) -- that is a terrific film, screenplay by Steinbeck.  I was very impressed.  Bette Davis' "Jezebel" was on last week.  Was not impressed, but then I've never been impressed with her.

My house is an absolute sty (in other words, it looks as messy as usual).  Before I went to Seattle I ran around frantically cleaning every inch, so I hope the same urge hits me before I go off this time.  It better.  I don't' mind living in a filthy house, I just can't stand to have anyone see it.

Went out drinking last night (my bon Voyage party -- at least the first one).  Shouldn't have:  my almost ulcer that was now intermittently is, once more, and it is not fond of alcohol.  And I will not have that blasted thing messing up my German-Italian[-Greek feasting.  Looks like I take my Malox...

Looks like I've about run out of steam.  Again I apologize for my forgetfulness and for my typing.  Take care, and keep in touch (don't be as lousy a correspondent as I am, that is).  Would you believe that I almost envy you in New England over the 4th:  I get to watch the parade down main street Cheyenne -- but at least I get to miss the Frontier Days rodeo!!

Take care -- I'll send you a postcard from wherever.....

May 4, 1976 (Letter from Connie)

So good to hear from you.  I tell you, I looked at that letter and thought, Springfield, Mass - ? What is Paul doing in Springfield, Mass?  Well, it seems you're doing very well indeed.  I couldn't be more pleased!  And close to Boston and New York -- I could choke you.  Denver is close and Denver is OK.  But it's not Vancouver or San Francisco or Seattle or Boston.  Grumble.

And I really know what you mean about having your own place again.  I get along well with my mom -- but not constantly.  She came out for a week in March and it was really good to see her and gab for just hours without having to worry about Ma Bell.  But evenso -- and as much as I like her there were times when I was tense with her around all the time.  Guess I've been out too long to go back to living with Mom.  It was nice though -- she cooked me dinner and even did the dishes!

Went to the Wyoming Library Association convention.  I'm in to going to those things - -but it was a drag.  Going to the Special Libraries thing in Denver in June -- should be good.  Looking forward to that.  Oh -- and you're a "special librarian" now too!  I tell you, it's the only way to go.  SLA is a good group -- miles above ALA or any of the local groups.  You might look into it.

We finally got moved into our new building.  Would you believe I have like 200 boxes of books and no shelves.  I'm literally buried in boxes -- some stacked 8 boxes high.  Theoretically our shelves should be ready tomorrow (or the day after, or the day after that, or...)  Someday soon.  Or so we're told.

Finally got around to going to the doc and found out that I almost have an ulcer.  Out of pure vindictiveness I'd like to think it's all LaVern's fault.  But I have a sneaking suspicion that it comes from all my Wyoming partying -- not the booze, but the 7Up I mix with it.  Gonna have to get used to Bourbon and water.  Better for the health!

I tell you, this has been a terrific day.  Been toying with the idea of buzzing off to Europe.  (I know I've bored you with that before.)  But lately I've been getting cold feet, should I, shouldn't I, do I really want to go?   Anyway, Saturday I went to a travel agent and found out I could go by charter from Denver to Frankfurt for $399 round trip!  I couldn't believe it!  That's half the regular fare.  So today I ran over, plunked down my money and got all confirmed and everything.  And I leave July 6. Unfortunately I'll be here for the 4th.  Had dreams of spending the 4th out of the country -- say drinking a toast to the good ol' U.S. of A. from the  Champs Elysee.  Could not be.  Going with my friend Anke from Seattle -- she's German and speaks German (of course) and French.  Had hoped to go with Ginny Shoens (remember the Sunday morning waffles), but that's an on again off again thing.

I've really got this thing about planes it seems.  Flying off to Seattle for Memorial Day weekend.

Heard from Lynne Stevenson.  All at MSL is the usual shambles.  Lynne's resigned -- either to go back to school (in Sacramento) or to take the biomed job at Carroll College.  Whichever comes through.  Basically just sad stories from there.  So glad I got out when I did.

And all goes on the usually same sameness have.  Cheyenne's ok -- and you just wouldn't believe how happy I am with my job.  Especially now that I almost have shelves.

Take care, and keep in touch --

February 26, 1975 (Letter from Connie)

Good to hear from you.  So  happy about your job.  I know how frustrating job hunting is -- one one hand it's so easy to just sleep in, and on the other the whole situation is so self-denying.  But that's past, and "cake" or not, I'm sure you and the job will get along very well.

All is status quo here.  The WICHE internship has turned into a semi-full time job, for now at least. At the moment I'm on a six-month contact -- and after that - -well I'm just keep thinking good thoughts.

I'm plotting these days on stealing the month of July and taking off for parts unknown.  (I want to be far away for the buy-centennial!)  Ginny Shcoens (a friend in Seattle) and I were talking about Paris.  The conversation has suddenly shifted to Athens.  Some other friends are still talking about Corfu, so we might stop in there.  All in all, any of those sound terrific.  And then again, if all of those fall through, I might just prowl Piccadilly instead!

As always, tomorrow interests me far more than today.

But all goes well today.  The job is becoming a little repetitious, but cataloging (in all its pettiness) and special libraries, still are my bag.  All in all, I still enjoy it.

Lynne Stevenson came down from Helena to see me a few weeks ago.  (You heard that the infamous LaVern left for good!?)  The bulk of LV's work has fallen on Lynne's shoulders -- but on the other hand, the staff is so relaxed and unhassled, now, that the pressure is bearable.

Pam camae to stay with me over Thanksgiving; I went home over Christmas, and my mom vows to come out, probably in March.  As always, I miss Seattle rain, but I don't get much chance to miss teh Seattle people!

That's about it for now.  Glad all is going well for you -- keep in touch --

November 5, 1975 (Letter from Connie)

Uh, well, you see, it's like this -- I'm not in Montana anymore.  Got back there in September, gave my notice, packed my bags, and split.  I was scared -- I had no idea what I was getting into -- but it turned out to be really terrific -- about the smartest thing I've ever done!

I don't know if I told you about it in Seattle, although I didn't know much about it then.  Anyway, here I am in Cheyenne, setting up a library for the Department of Economic Planning and Development.  So far, I am back in my cubbyhole cataloging all day long -- and loving it!  It's all technical reports and government documents, just the kind of stuff I really like to work with.  I tell ya, this special library bit is really terrific.  Would you believe this is the first time I've not worked in a library per se, and that really is one of hte best things about it.  I'm the only librarian in sight, I don't get flack from anyone -- just pure cooperation and a lot of good vibes.  I'm totally my own boss, at least I made (essentially) all the decision about the library.  And when I need policy decisions I get them -- quick, clear, consistent, and livable.  The contract with the state library is really unbelievable   I've been here 3 weeks but it seems like I've always been here, and that' whole thing back in Helena just a bad dream.

It wasn't all bad -- I made some good friends there, and it was hard to leave them.  (But good news -- Lynne is driving down this weekend.  We're going to goof around in Denver.)  And then I miss my gorgeous apartment.  I'm in a one-bedroom basement -- yech -- small and gloomy.  But it's decent, unlike others I've seen here, and cheap.  And at least I have someplace to stay while I'm looking for the "dream place".

But on the other hand, I shouldn't be too anxious to move -- I really don't know how long I'll be there.  I'm here on a WICHE internship, and only have 3 months I'm sure of.  I might be extended for another 3 months, and they make noises about wanting a full-time librarian (and I make noises about wanting the job) but no promises as yet.  So I might be back in Seattle in January or I might be here forever.  And of course, as an intern, I'm not paid much, but I'm enjoying it so I don't care. I really thrive on independence -- and that's what I have here.  My boss is a doll, and there are such good vibes (a.k.a. "high morale") here.

Back in Montana I really wondered if I'd ever enjoy working again, if the lib. business was all a big mistake.  Well, Montana was the mistake -- 

As for Montana State Library news -- Dick is leaving at Thanksgiving as you know.  But did you know that LaVern has gone on leave!  From Oct 15 to Jan 1 (irony of ironies -- this was announced after I'd gotten the WICHE offer).  But decided to leave anyway.  No one knows for sure if she will be back.  And then that whole scene was so tense -- so LaVern or no I split.

Lynne is in charge of general services now and doing beautifully of course.

You mentioned the bad weather in Montana -- Montana maybe, but not here -- it's been gorgeous!

And then I finally am able to get channel Z from Denver (and most of the Denver stations).  I've seen a lot of dogs -- but also the fist two Johnny Weissmuller Tarzans.

Cheyenne is really all right -- a nice enough town, friendly people, and close to Denver and Ft. Collins -- what more could you ask?  Well, sail boats, and sea gulls, mist and fog and all that soft greenness -- well, I'm going back there at Christmas, and I rather think I'll live there again some day.  But hopefully not right away.  I like being away.

Well, that's about it -- life goes on, and for me, for now, marvelously.

Take care, keep in touch -- Something will turn up for you, relax till then!

October 29, 1975 (Letter from Dick)

I mailed a letter of recommendation to Janet Alexander.  Hope you get what you want for a job.

I talked to Carmen about your retirement check and she checked into it.  They are in the process of getting it ready now, but they have had some trouble with their computer.  It may take another two weeks or so to get it out.  Normally it has not taken this long.  Carmen then asked about mine and the process cannot be started until the last day of work -- they then said it could take two months.  Fortunately I plan on using the money for a new car next spring, but I would like to have had the money to earn interest in the meantime.

I have four and a half more week and am counting each day.  Things are just as bad as ever around here.  Your position was not replaced at the prison.  AJ hired a reference librarian to do "institutional requests" which means reference just has another body to do their work and the prison must depend upon a guard.

Frank Morrison has really gotten into the whole mess -- he is now Bretz's attorney and is devoting a lot of time to the case.  He really feels that he is on to something a lot bigger than most realize. Not sure what will all come of it, but Frank is energetic and highly incensed.  His wife, Sharon, is now actively involved also and doing a lot of research for him.

I now definitely plan to spend the winter here, with some travel.  Mostly will be working on the silver and getting some skiing in.  Am seriously considering a job for next spring in the Southwest -- Arizona.

Keep in touch.

October 6, 1975 (Letter from DIck)

Thought you might want a copy of this just in case you don't otherwise see it.  I talked to the reporter several times and he is really fired up about your case and the whole rotten mess.

Have you given any consideration to a civil suit as Frank Morrison mentions in the article?  A question you need not answer to me, but something I think you might at least give thought to.

Today I resigned my position at the State Library.  Will be working for almost eight more weeks -- Thanksgiving weekend and then be free.  I don't plan to return to work until sometime next spring -- and then in a different area of the country.  Have several job offers for next spring and will probably take one that is in a warm climate.  The situation at the state library gets worse instead of better and I can no longer take it mentally or physically.  Plan to spend the winter at the house working on my silver projects and skiing during the week when the crowds are thin.  Hop[e to also see some friends and do some traveling -- at least until I think I have spent enough money and that again there should be a pay check coming in - -but not before April under any circumstances.

Hope you keep in touch and let me know where you are and what you are doing.  Remember I will give you a letter of recommendation when you need one and if anyone has questions about the prison situation I will be happy to tell them my version in defense of you.

Must run to the store and on to a meeting.  Do keep in touch.

December 11, 1974 (Letter from Gordon)

Paul -- the following letter is pretty free-wheeling and quite subjective -- not to say chaotic.

I wanted to let you know before hand that the same evaluation, observations, and conclusions are arrived at in the Manual (for my old job) and various enclosures and memoranda that are in the MSP librarians' file at MSL, but in a restrained, relatively objective and deliberative manner.  Well aware of my own proclivities and emphases, and peculiar insights and sensitivities, I tried to back off and take a look, comprehensive and fair look at the MDL position and work at MSP, but only as presently conducted but with proposals for the future.

If you are unable, in the end, to have access to these materials, I will be delighted to provide you with a copy of my own set.  (End of prefatory notes.)

Well I can see you're already going over the contents of Pandora's box, even at this early stage!  I assume you have already asked Dick Peel for the long manual and accompanying memoranda on my work and evaluation of the job, all of which he has.  If it does not appear you will be given these materials, let me know and I'll send you the whole shitpot full. Also, Alma Jacobs has a complete file of the above, as well.  (So did I, heh, heh!)   It would be preferable if one of them gave you access to it (thinking in terms of their support, etc.)

In the Manual and the memoranda I spell out all my views and measurements of the job.  I have also this fall written a 15-page (double-spaced) account of the job, called "Prison Librarianship -- Some Controversial Aspects", written in an anonymous context, which I am trying to get published.  It is loaned out at the moment, but when it returns I will send you a copy, for yourself.  It is thoroughly doctored for anonymity.

I have a package of papers, and also a number of posters, both of which I will try to get off this week.  It might get a bad reaction if Crist sees my mailing address on the papers, but "I can't help it".  Whether you remove it or not is your business.  Crist tends to get terribly upset and "emotionally involved in (his) job" (something he accused me of, by the way.)   Hoping you can get access to the above sources, I won't run on here about the job, expect to say that the prison pressure is to get you to identify totally "with the inmates".  Cultivate an objective, professional stance and approach.  So that any decision you make has been well-though-out.  That way you can never be caught off guard.

Paul, try your very cool and patient best to stay there as long as possible --

On the administration people you mentioned:  Generally speaking, never trust anything they tell you.  (Not totally anyway.)  Boyette, Jaksha, Blodgett, Weer, and Yankoskie are first of all the warden's toadies and flunkies.  They are excellently conditioned bureaucratic subordinates.  Like they talk to the prisoners, they will feed you a story, a line or a "cue" to get you to talk loosely. Control of staff, to Crist's ilk, is every bit as important as control of inmates.  (Read the Policy and Procedures on staff conduct in my life.)  Communicate orally, not in writing, if at all possible.

Hence the supreme importance of maintaining your own professional integrity.  I never had problems with the prisoners, or with line staff -- only with Roger, Joe, and Jim.  Blodgett is especially treacherous because he comes on so loosely, easy, and "nice".  Don't believe your eyes and ears!!  His head is aching for a wardenship all his own, once Crist goofs up badly enough.

Jaksha - a toady and a dunce (but who will be silent at times, too)

Yankoskie - a craven, uptight, paper bully of a dunce

Blodgett - viper (nothing he doesn't say will come to pass) and bully.

Weer - an original nice guy undergoing final institutionalization.

Boyette - a redneck, at bottom

Crist - Hitleresque and arch-chauvinist (watch him around women), custody-obsessed, "Christian" (watch out!), militaristic (chain of command).

But despite all this--

I let 15 months go by before letting it go - I also loved it, and as a first library job I learned an immense amount.  I went about my job with full self-respect and with a pride in associating with such a victimized and oppressed clientele, (whose spirit also remains high -- right?)  I came to like Montana very much -- try to get East any time you can.  (At first I was thoroughly uptight, coming from an urban ghetto straight to rural Montana!  Bought a .38 special and was armed most of the time off the job.  (Fearful of Montanans!!)  But I got over that -- it's a fine life environment  really, and maybe someday I'll be working again over there (at least for another stint).

My prior association with parolees and prisoners helped.  Plus 3 years army experience (in the 1950's, well remembered though).  Also several years in militant civil rights and anti-ware activity. (In Seattle the next stage was terrorism, when Johnson relented...)  Not to state my politics -- I'll let you draw your own conclusions.

I kept a detailed journal of my experiences there, as well.

I am corresponding now and then with Al Charlo of the Hunter, and it's a wonder Crist's mail room lets it happen.  Others have been refused permission to write me.  I asked to be able to write:  (list of names).  I know several of these are gone, but no matter.  Bless every one of their devious hearts!  Maybe under capitalism, "deviance" is every person's survival option.

Now to the State library -- bless their hardy trooper souls -- I accept and recognize a minimal degree of bureaucratic complicity on their part (the politics of government?), regarding working with the prison and the Dept. of Institutions.  I hope Dick Peel can weather the storm and find the recognition he richly deserves.  Though we came to disagree somewhat at the end (I am totally against the concept of a "warden", and the absolute thought control he feels necessary to exercise over staff in every area.)  I really appreciated working with him that first year or so.  When Alma Jacobs came things sort of fell apart, at MSL, structurewise (organizationally).

The "complicity" I refer to above is derived from: 1.  The fact that Peel wasn't upset that Crist had a big dossier on me, which included an excessive amount of evaluative materials by a variety of persons.    (I wanted to demand access to it.)  2.  The fact that perhaps MSL does the same thing (background checks of an excessively prying nature) and that Peel (for one) sends letters of reference or recommendation without ever sending you a copy.  This is a kind of oppression that thoroughly erodes the trust and confidence of "subordinates".  If we don't work for the people's best interests, whose interests are we serving?

P.S.  Keep in mind too that Deer Lodge is a very small, loyalist town....the barroom walls have eyes and ears.

P.S.  Regarding meetings or (audiences) with Crist, or any of his lieutenants; often a certain reaction will be feinted (like shock or whatever with the comix), to put you on the the spot as corrupting innocents, etc.  Here let it be said that anyone who stays longer in the closed institution than a nominal period (1-2, 3 years?) is becoming corrupted.  The essence of traditional, and closed, institutions is abnormality and prostitution and corruption, both in principle and practice. (Anything to stay on the job, maintain or curry the administration's favor, anything to control the prisoners for control's sake.)

There is a monstrous double standard working in prisons that should see a whole lot of collaborators taken to the wall and shot.  One thing we con the public into thinking we're doing; one thing we are really doing.  And control of staff under these circumstances is critical.  Don't educate them too much.  One reason "staff training" has come so late into prisons is because no warden wants an "aware" group of officers to deal with.  They might get some self-respect and start reflecting on their work, and on the efficacy and purpose behind "corrections".  A lot of line staff come from the same socio-economic experience as the prisoner s they tend -- a situation that has not escaped the "aware" con's observation (see Fred Perry, et al.)