October 8, 1971 (Letter from Barb Lucia)

I'm living in the slums again in my usual October unemployed state -- how is the ocean, sunshine and restaurant life??  Seems to be my forte -- working at the ocean -- the only time I'm ever content -- duh!  Nothing like living in fantasyland all the time.  Maybe Renee was right-- we do live in a dream world.

Anderson drove me back to Boston!  He and another guy came to Warren and stayed at Mardi's house and ate her ravioli -- she was happy, needless to say, about staying in Msp and work!  We started out for Boston one bright sunny day (last Thurs) and ended up spending the nite in Niagara Falls w/ two bombed guys on my hands -- trying to get them up to the room plus sneaking Harry in unobtrusively -- I'm there, duh, what in the hell am I doing in Niagara Falls?!

They stayed here for 2 days -- having a fantastic time w/ no refrigerator, no music, etc.  We were just putting the place together again and had no stereo or radio plus Anderson got stuck w/ getting a U-haul and going out to get our new refrigerator.  He is really nice sometimes, you know?

So here I am -- my head is completely turned around since I left here in July -- seems like 3 years not 3 months.  Since living on the Vineyard, I am so alienated from this kind of life and here I thought I had outgrown these sudden changes of heart (?)  I feel exactly as if I'm living in Warren ,Pa and can't get out!  Not that I mind living in Boston but just the day-to-day shit plus it is so ugly around her e-- I can't explain how I feel -- but yet there's no sense in moving around the goddamn county every 3 months forever -- they ought to lock me up somewhere!  Also am at a loss because it seems I have a job back at old Mass Mental but no salary because of the money freeze, state govt, etc.  Right now I am typing for a guy at Mass Men for $3/yr until this job is done, probably another week.  Hey, I do have a good job.  Enough of such shit -- I had a great 6 weeks of August/Sept -- BIG DEAL -- and now it's over ok -- what are you doing?  Duh!  Mardi and I were talking about this the other nite -- how I got to live at M. Vineyard and have fun in the sun and all that but now I have nothing and she stayed in one place and didn't get to go anywhere but she has everything she needs as far as security goes, etc. -- and we decided that no one is really getting anywhere!  As if there's somewhere to get to -- and there's Sue Smith in Warren thinking that we're so neat because we don't live there but of course we're not neat or cool or whatever -- and everyone sits around envying you because you're in California but they don't think about the hassles with money and a place to stay and no security and all that -- they don't understand that you're just living, wherever you are!  Place has little to do with it.  Although sunshine and peace can let you feel content no matter what your hassles are.  Are you having a quiet time nowadays?  If you're doing a lot of acid, etc. you're not exactly in the place I mean?  Remember my ex-old man from last year who came to Boston last October fresh from tripping his little heart out constantly in California full of love and peace, brother -- I saw him in September and he has lot all his sunshine ways I fear an dis now completely hard-core city -- screw your brother!  God, people are weird!  (Far-out, freaky, and not least of all -- groovy.)  You'll have to see what going back to Buffalo does to your head in January -- believe me, it'll be strange.  And of course, we'll see you at Christmas in Warren -- hey, something new.  Did you know that Don Corey got married last Saturday?!  Far out?  Thought I'd throw that in for old times sake -- so did Marti Graves and of course Tina and Mark -- Joan is going back to Clarion in January.  That's it for the news that makes the news.  Mardi and Bill -- that famed financial wonder -- both ran out of money at the same time -- him in Philly and her in Msp.  She had to send him his paycheck and I had to send her $10 to make it though the week -- amazing, truly amazing.  Here I sit with no car, no stereo, No TV, no car-stereo tapes, etc. sending money to Msp.  They have everything you could possibly want -- except xtra money.  Hey, we're all clean.

Switch to the local news -- you know that Doreen and John are getting married in December -- she's moving out next Friday into their new place in New Hampshire and I am freaking out -- I can't imagine living here and not living with Doreen.  Nancy lives here now -- I don't know if you've met her -- she's going to nursing school now and studies all week long - I am going to be really lonely this year!

Sat. nite.  Hi there-- I just got back from work -- I went to type a couple hours tonite -- every little bit counts!  I stopped by at the hospital to chat with Bill, the security guard.  This is his C.O. job and I swear he's the only person in the world who reads more than you do -- a book a night is his average since all security guards do is sit there all night.  His dream is to go to the Adirondacks and write a novel.  Why do I know such weird people -- not weird, just different?  Well Paul, what are you doing right now -- 11:00 p.m. -- Sat nite -- working -- right?  I hope we all can actually carry on a conversation when you come home.  Mrs. P said to be sure and say hello -- I think she worries about you!  Now why would anybody worry about you!  Duh!  I even worry!  Take care and write -- see you soon.