Part of a Truffaut double-bill in Amherst
SURPRISE! I am actually returning a letter to you the very same day I received one. To tell the truth, I'm not in the mood to do school work and typing a letter is a good excuse to postpone the agony of school work. I was super glad to hear that you are well and that things are going well with you. Looks like the year '77 will be a good one for you and I'm thrilled that you are happy. I wish I could say that I'm equally as happy, but I'm not. I have much to be thankful for. Morrey and I are very happy together, we love our dog and have a good life style. My unhappiness stems from inside myself -- it is not due to something anyone else has created. To be frank -- I hate my job -- I'm bored to tears with it, and I am really sick and tired of the hassles with administrative garbage and some of the people I work with. What makes me even more unhappy is the knowledge that there are so few jobs available in the "outside" world and I am a bit afraid and apprehensive about giving mine up to go look for "the rainbow". I have pretty much decided that this will be my last year of teaching -- but what the future holds in store is so uncertain that I am afraid to think of it. The whole question is, Paul, do I keep the job I have because it pays $10,960 a year and I can easily do the work but be unhappy, or do I look for something else which will pay less but be more of a challenge? Added to that, I desperately want to buy a house to have a home to settle in -- but I can't have my cake and eat it too -- as the saying goes. I will admit that I am willing to put off the buying of a house until next year, and I really wonder if we'll be able to swing it anyhow. Shit! My mind is really messed up right now and I don't know what to do. Morrey says it's okay with him if I quit, but in a way I feel that I'm being selfish and unfair to him in doing do. With his business right now the future doesn't look too rosey cause a lot of businesses are closed due to the fuel shortage. If they are close d-- nobody buys electrical goods. Things might really turn around in the spring but right now it looks kind of grim. To be honest, Paul, I think my problem is that I'm not a very good "waiter". I want things now instead of later. I look at the friends around us who have been married about as long as we and they are in their own homes and have started families, and I wonder why they can do it and we can't. I guess, to put it nicely, I'm downright frustrated and can't make up my mind what to do. For now until June I'll put in my time and make it through, but when June comes I'm going to have my resume ready and peddle my butt around town to see if I can come up with a job that is a challenge and a real change from the life of a schoolteacher. So there, my friend, in a nutshell, (more or less) is my predicament! I'm sorry if I've burdened you -- I just needed to get it off my chest by putting it down on paper. Thanks for letting me!
Now -- the fuel crisis in another nutshell -- it stinks! We've been off and on school for the last several weeks. We've been freezing our asses off at home and the temperatures in our classrooms vary from 40 to 60 degrees which make trying to teach a nerve wracking BITCH! Columbus Public Schools are closed until March 7 and they are running a school program thru TV, radio and newspapers and it seems to be working half way decently. We, in Upper Arlington, managed to purchase extra gas last week and will have it until another cold spell comes and they confiscate it to give it to residential users. Our kids were off all last week -- but we as teachers had to work and make up really stupid learning packets for them to work on while at home. The principal admitted to us that the reason we were doing the learning packets was for PR (public relations) to make the schools look good to the parents since we have a 2 mill renewable operating levy to be passed in June. It's all a crock of shit cause the administration is trying to pull the wool over the eyes of the public. This week we are back in school and I started a new unit on short stories. I hope to hell I can finish it before we close down again (if we do) cause I'm getting tired of losing the continuity of my teaching and it is so very hard on the kids to remember and retain stuff we did 3 weeks ago. My disposition gets rather nasty when I don't know how to dress for school since I never know whether my room will be 40 or 60 -- both of which are cold. I wore my coat teaching the entire day today and it took me until 7pm tonight at home to warm up. My parents sent us an electric blanket, 4 pairs of long johns, and 6 pairs of thermal socks which have been real life-savers. Thanks G-d for parents -- and especially mine cause they're just super to us.
This sounds really odd -- but my mother and I and my mother-in-law and sister-in-law are going to Las Vegas from March 21-25 which is my spring break if I ever get one. My mother has gone thru a particularly rough year since there have been several deaths in her side of the family in the last few months and she is still recoupreating from her surgery. She has always wanted to go to Vegas. Morrey can't get away and he wants me to go with my mom and his mom and his sister so it appears as though we're in for a really great time. I really feel guilty about spending the money to go and I feel even worse about Morrey choosing not to go -- but I would like to show my mother the time of her life -- and heaven knows I need a vacation in a place where I can forget entirely that the "real" world exists. My father can't go either and doesn't really desire to go so it'll just be the ladies. I could get in a lot of "trouble" in Vegas -- but with my mother and mother-in-law as chaperones I'm sure I'll be safe and secure and I won't break the bank -- mine or theirs!
To answer your question -- I did hear from Mark. He called me from Dayton and tried to make connections to Cols. but couldn't. He was supposed to come back the next week and was then going to stay with us but the weather got really bad and I guess he couldn't make it. He did promise me that he would definitely come here the next trip he makes to Dayton and I believe Mark will keep his promise. He told me that he sold his house in Rochester and I think he's going to look for a job in Washington. I will keep you informed when I hear from him again.
I got a letter from Mardi and she told me about Mike being married to a guy. I guess he wrote to Mrs. P. and told her about it. I was stunned and shocked at first -- but the more I thought about it -- the pieces of the puzzle seemed to fit. Knowing Mike's background and the kind of adolescence he experienced, I can understand why he would become a homosexual. I have no ill feelings about ti nor do I dislike him for it. I accept it and I would accept him as a person if I had the opportunity to meet with him again. I wondered if you knew about it at Xmas time when we were home cause you sort of hinted around and alluded to it when you and I discussed Mike. Answer, please?
My parents are supposed to come here this weekend and I'm delighted cause we've spent every weekend at home since Jan. and it will be a pleasant change to entertain my folks. They always look forward to coming here and going out to interesting and unusual places with us. They are usually game for anything we plan. We even took my dad out to see a belly dancer in a Greek nightclub one night and he thought that was neat. Of course, when you consider what a night life Warren has to offer -- I guess a belly dancer does look and sound pretty appealing to "country" folk. HA HA
I hope my letter hasn't sounded too dour and depressing. Basically I am happy with life -- but unsettled and unhappy with myself until I find something which appeals to me in the world of work.
Our puppy, Lady, is getting really big. I bet she weight about 30 lbs. right now with another 50 to grow on in the next few months. I want you to know that I am really serious about our 4th of July reunion at the cottage. My folks said it was okay as long as everyone chipped in for the booze and supplies. I wrote Mardi and told her to plan on it. If you can get in touch with Dodi,k Joan, and some of the others from our "circle" please do so, okay?
Well, I've procrastinated long enough to start feeling guilty about the untouched school work so I'd best be closing for now. Be well Paul and take care. I'm so glad to have a friend like you!
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