October 1, 1973 (Letter from Larry)

Enclosed in an article from Prevention which I hope will help you.

In reply to your 2nd letter:

I watch very few sci-fi stuff on the boob toob.

I've never had an idol, but there's actually a kind of fear about meeting anybody for the first time.

I'm not looking for an easy, guiltless way to reject Jesus.  I started rejecting Jesus in my early years of high school.  (If used to pay "in Jesus name" but I quit that cause it didn't make any sense to me.)

You say you can't attribute the voice of guidance in yourself to Christ or anybody else's philosophy.  Either am I.  That's why I stoned praying to God and started praying to myself after high school and I was on my own and really thought a lot.

I'm surely not replacing Daniken for Christ, that would be just another idol, which I couldn't have.

I agree with your completely "to worship an image or idol is to deny the self".

I guess I have a spaceship mind like Daniken cause I think man came to earth via spaceship.


I'm listening to golden-oldie night on WRRN.  It's good.

October 1, 1973 (Letter from Herb)

Man am I jealous.  It sounds like you're really set at school -- and lovin it.  I really wanna go back to school.  I've got to get my applications out this week.  In case you don't remember, I decided to go for an MBA.  However my boards turned out to be pretty disgraceful -- 508 -- so I don't k now where the hell I'm gonna get in.  I think I'm applying to NYU, U of P, and Columbia.  Any suggestions?

I've been keeping myself pretty busy since Kenny's wedding -- it was really good to see you and Tony -- real shame it couldn't have been any longer.  I've been doing my normal stuff.  Seeing Sandy, bowling, studying karate and of course working.  Things are getting out of hand with Sandy. We've grown very close -- but I know I want to go out with other people -- it's gonna be very difficult to tell her that though.  I went to N.Y. this weekend -- my folks were buggin' me -- it was the Jewish New Year and all.  Anyhow it turned into a pretty good weekend.  I saw good old Barbara Silverman again.  You remember Barbara don't you.  Well it was just a very friendly chat nothing there anymore except old times.  I hadn't seen her in about a year though -- so we had some catching up to do.

Oh -- remember that girl Elyse at Kenny's wedding -- well, I found out she was gonna be home for the weekend too so I gave her a call -- and we went out Saturday night.  I had a really nice time too -- don't know what's gonna happen there -- but not too much can without Sandy being at lest in on it first -- on how I don't look forward to that.

One other weirdo thing happened since I saw you -- two weeks ago I got a call from Chris -- Lauer up in Buffalo -- Man did he ever freak me out.  I haven't heard or seen him for about 1 1/2 years now.  He sounded sorta mellowed, apologetic almost.  It felt good to speak with him.  He said he's been living with a girl named Sherry and that he's thinking seriously about marriage.  Man, it was weird speaking to him.  I suppose that the realities of marriage might have brought him a little closer to heart -- he almost sounded like the old Chris.  Said he'd write and explain all -- but I'm still waiting for his letter.  I'll keep you posted.

Other than that -- I hope all is well with you.  Maybe you can arrange a visit here sometime or vice versa.  Oh I saw Kenny yesterday -- he got a letter from you too -- he's in the process of replying -- give him some time -- he's fuckin married these days.

Keep in touch - All my best.

September 28, 1973 (Letter from Michael)

Michael and Elizabeth

Sorry I didn't write sooner, but I've been terribly busy.  For one thing, Elizabeth moved into her new apartment and I helped her set up.  Then, of course, I've been working full time -- six days a week -- in the store and there has been quite a lot to do.  Finally I am in the process of moving also -- on Oct first.  I never seem to have any free time and I just keep working, running around, and then falling out.

It was very good to receive your letter.  I must admit I have never gotten a letter in which the writer sounded so happy.  You sound real good; everything seems to be workout out well for you.  I hope that continues.

As I said I've been working all the time.  In some ways it is quite satisfying.  I pretty much have control of the store -- I do all the ordering and make the decision as to what items we carry, how the store should be organized, etc.  Obviously a lot of customers are pains in the ass but a lot also are really friendly, talkative, and especially pleased with what we offer them.  I feel a sense of accomplishment whenever someone comes in and says that since they spoke with me and tried my suggestions they have felt much better.  People come in all the time and say they have never had so much energy or that a specific ailment they've had for the longest time finally cleared up.  It's those times when I can forget that I am hardly getting paid, that my brother has fucked-up for over two years, and finally that we're not making money.

As it is, if my brother would ever get finished setting up the new store and stop taking money from this one, I could possibly start taking a $100 or $150 weekly salary, not to mention the food I take.  Business has picked up considerably since August two-three hundred a week.  I can't take full credit for it as September always proves to be an increased over the summer, yet I know that my efforts have helped quite a bit.

I got my Saab and I've been driving that all over the place.  I have 1900 miles on it after 5 1/2 weeks.  I like it.  I still have the wagon.  I can't seem to get rid of it and lately my brother's been using it for the new store and whenever he's had trouble with his car.  So now I've got two cars, two stores, and essentially two apartments; bills to pay off -- The American Dream in other words.

Sunday I plan to set up my apt.  I am kind of excited about that as actually it is the first apartment I will have had on my own (although I do have to get a roommate).  Basically, though it will just be nice to be able to settle down a little, relax, have people over to my own place, and so forth.

I hope you can get up here again, sometime.  You sound awfully busy yourself.  Perhaps some vacation you'll have some spare time.  Besides after you've gotten some training you'll be able to help me find some books I've been looking for in the library.  It's back to work for me.  Have fun, and take care my friend.

September 21, 1973 (Letter from Chris)

Receiving your letter this morning was almost frighteningly coincidental.  Only last night I saw Paul Rosen while at work.  He was in the Sign of the Steer for a salad and stayed long enough to watch the Riggs-King tennis match.  I only had a few minutes to talk to him since I was working upstairs, and he was at the bar downstairs.  He told me he was living on Long Island and looking for a job.  I mentioned that I hadn't seen you and was wondering what you were doing.  He asked about Tony and I couldn't offer any information.  Then we spoke of Kenny and Lauren, briefly.

It is funny you should feel the same way about Kenny and Lauren as I do.  They are both good people -- but I guess I don't see them as a married couple.  I am surprised that I feel the way I do -- that is, being hurt that I wasn't invited to the wedding.  Tony, you, Herb, Eric, Linda -- and I'm sure Liz and all of Lauren's girlfriends from State.  Not that I could have gone -- but it would have been a nice gesture of him to invite me.  The more I think of it -- the more ashamed I am of myself for feeling this way - -but I do feel it.

On top of this thought is the thought just relayed to me when I called home today -- that Judi Haberman just got married to an old friend of mine.  I know they were going to, but just hearing of it and about how swanky the whole thing was makes me sick.  (Perhaps it's jealousy -- and that's what really scares me.)  For some reason I think of Judi often and though I've had several girlfriends and lived with a handful of women since her -- I can't seem to forget her like I have the rest.  Hell -- I can't even remember what Liz looks like.  Yes -- those 3 years at 4028 Bailey Avenue were real fairy tale years -- my whole 4 years at UB were like that.  And now here I am -- in real life -- a worthless piece of shit -- stagnating in a job with little intellectual satisfaction.  All the people I ever knew and were close to are doing something -- (even if it's getting married -- at least they're happy -- or think they are.)  I know I'm not happy. 

And often the thought comes to me of how I've gone and lost some good friends.  Herb is foremost in my mind -- but even you and Kenny were close to me and at one point I felt I knew all of you.  Now I wonder if either of them would even know me if they passed me on the street.  As far as Eric and Linda go -- all I can say (when I'm not laughing) is that they deserve each other.  What more can one say about two people who you know will be absolutely the same when they are 80 years old and living in Miami.

I don't know if you are aware of what I'm doing now -- but it's the same thing I've been doing since I finished school.  I am the assistant manager of Sign of the Steer Restaurant on Main St. down from UB.  I am also the Head Bartender which can be taken either one of two ways.  I've been here since last Oct 4 when I returned to Buffalo to live with Judi and found out that she didn't want it that way anymore.  So that makes it almost a year now that I've been here and maybe soon I'll need a vacation.  Toward the end of June I decided I couldn't take Buffalo any longer, so I gave notice.  So -- I packed up and split cross-country with a girl I had been seeing. UCLA so I decided she was a good excuse to move to L.A. see some of the good old USA.  It was a big mistake -- the trip was nice -- and there is some beautiful country here -- but the big towns are all the same, and people don't change.  L.A. was really a drag, and when I couldn't find a job and had to pay $240/month for an unfurnished 2 BR apt. -- I decided that it just wasn't the right time to be there.  So I came back to Buffalo and got my job back.  I stayed with a girl I had been seeing before I left and we went to find an apartment together.  So now here we are, Cheri and myself in a real nice, cozy (small) place on Lisbon right off of Bailey (across from Mueller's Delicatessen).

I sure hope you can get down here some time.  We could sit and reminisce, in case you are interested we do have a phone (unlisted) 716-833-9661.

Now that we are writing -- let's try to keep it up.

I'd write more now -- but it's time for me to get to work and I want to get this off to you today.  Take care and keep your head together.

September 19, 1973 (Letter from Larry)

Your opinion of the book "Chariots of the Gods" and Daniken doesn't alter my opinion of him and his book(s) one bit.  You suggest to me that I should read it again.  I suggest to you that you read his other book "Return of the Gods".  Daniken may not be a writer, but he's just trying to get across his ideas as best as he can.  Some of his points might be hard to grasp to people who fear or are narrow minded.

I'll go into my ideas based on this man's finding.  First, I don't believe in the Bible, as most people do.  It's just a history book which has been greatly misunderstood.  I have no "fear of God", a God that isn't even real.  My God is my conscience and everything around me (earth, sun, stars).   Jesus Christ was just a human.  With so many religions and false gods it's easy for me to feel this way.  To give some example about the Bible (I could never understand the Bible when I was young).

For instance.  Can you imagine people blowing horns and having the walls of Jericko (sp) fall down.  Scientists have developed a sound-vibration machine that could crumble a whole building.  Doesn't it seem more logical the other intelligences were on Earth with a similar device and crumbled the walls of Jericho that way.  But it got written in the Bible as people blowing the wall down with their horns!

A couple of weeks ago on TV there was an hour program called "In Search of the Ancient Astronauts" based on Daniken ideas.  It had evidence, movie pictures of of many things around the world that support his ideas.



I can only believe that Earth has been visited by other intelligences and we are most likely descended of beings form outer space.  It's so much more logical than the Adam and Eve bullshit story.  If you look at the Bible from a different perspective things can become much more logical.  I could go on and on but I'd just be quoting Daniken.

Even before reading Daniken books I was searching for an alternative to present day religion.

A very moving thought came from a Navajo Indian I went to school with.  He said "We have no Jesus Christ, our God is the earth, people, animals, everything."  And "Why should we worry about how we got here or what we came from, we have enough to worry about with the present and the future."

It was after talking with him that I knew I couldn't believe in Jesus Christ anymore or fear God.  I believe nobody should fear anything.  When I was young I couldn't understand how we could fear and love somebody at the same time.  It just didn't make sense.

The main thing to get through life is faith.  People need to have faith in something so they have faith in God, Jesus Christ and the Bible, but to me this is blind faith.  All the faith should be in yourself.

A few more ideas from my head.  Astrology was taught to us by intelligences from outer space.

Every invention every thought up has been thought of before by other intelligences.  I think that their knowledge has been passed on in the brain since they first interbred with us.

I think I could explain myself better in person.

September 15, 1973 (Letter from Leslie)

Hi sweetie.  Got your letter this morning -- very nice surprise, nice lift to the day.  Lots of little things to tell you.  Right now I am at school to do some work.  Will have about 2 1/2 hrs as the library closes at 5.  Am sitting in the lounge with a "cup a soup" and will go down the hall to the lib when I am finished.  Cup a coups are great because there is always hot water in the lounge so now I have 3 boxes in my locker -- beef noodle, onion, and chicken noodle.  Very convenient. 

Getting back to the end of the 1st page.  (missing)  I met Chris and she said that she decided not to move out because she really couldn't afford it.  Was a little disappointed not to move out but in truth I can't afford it that much either.  So yesterday on my day off from school Mom and I were going to play golf but it started raining while I was visiting my friend Ardene at Universal Photo.  We went from there to Montgomery Ward's to look at tripods and discovered they were having a sale on Mamiya/Sekor 35mm.  So I asked Mom if I might buy one (she is the best as far as financial advice goes) and she said okay since I would be staying at home.  I didn't buy one there, I first went to check out Consumer's Reports and decided on either a Canon FTD or a Canon TLD.  Ended up buying a Canon TLD for $214 and the guy quoted me last year's price and didn't realize it until he had rung up the sale and had gone to check something so he said, Wow -- this is the wrong price but I quoted it to you so you have it at this price but the store doesn't make anything on it.  The new price should have been around $260.  I can't believe the way things happen to me.  I was suffering from a psychological reaction to the whole thing for a couple of hours after.  So now I am the proud owner of a Canon TLD 35mm, a single lens reflex -- the type of camera that has been my dream for at least 3 years.  I'm excited have taken 6 pictures with it.

On my way home from school, I am going to go by Albany airport and get information on flying to Pittsburgh.  I decided it would be too wasteful to go by bus.  How bout me flying in Friday late afternoon or night and leaving Sunday?  I'm thinking of the weekend after this coming one.  All is okay with family, Mom said what you do is your business, which I knew but feel obligated to ask about since I am living at home.

Will write more later otherwise I will continue with the rest of the little stuff and will not get my work done while the library is open.

Hello again -- I'm home and have Seals and Crofts on.  Thursday morning I had my last wisdom tooth out -- yeah.  I was in a real vicious mood that morning because I had to go to the dentist so I was cursing joyfully at all the bad drivers and had visions of hitting them (if only my car didn't get wrecked).

Also finished shooting my first roll of 35mm film.  Can't wait to have it developed and see what things look like -- took pictures of all the family.  Already thinking of other lens I would like to buy because I want to specialize in available light pictures -- I dont' like flash pictures.  For example it is dark out tonight, but the moon is big and bright and near the horizon and what I would like to do is put "Cannon" (correct spelling is Canon) on a tripod and set it for a long exposure.  I usually call  things she but I think Cannon will be a he, it just seems to fit better.

Chris came mover last night and was in a strange mood.  We smoked and listened to records -- she likes to listen to records but wouldn't buy them -- so I'm exposing her to all my good music and it's interesting to hear what she does and does not like.

Good news -- I can still use my youth fare card so it will cost me $35 instead of $42 to fly round trip to Pittsburgh.  The weekend I'm thinking of is the 29th and 30th.  Classes are suspended the 27th (Thurs) and 28th (Fri) so I could catch a flight Friday morning and leave Sunday.  How does that sound?

My heartiest congratulations on becoming a grad assistant!!!  Working in the library is a good experience.  I've been doing some of the same things you have except checking the accuracy of bibliographic source material.  Working by oneself is nice -- but I usually have somebody with me in both libraries.  I enjoy it, though, waiting on people sometimes sassing them and learning how and showing others the equipment in the media lab.

I must say that "Meet That Lady" caught my attention immediately and when you mentioned it in your last letter, all I could think of was the refrain, "Who's that lady?!?"  And I knew it was the same song.  Ah, it will be nice to get on the dance floor with you again -- it's been too long.

I have an oz. I bought at the end of the summer, but I haven't been smoking much -- more by myself and going out walking breathing the air and being with the country but I don't like the incoherence that I sometimes fall into.

A lot of the readings I've had to do are really bad -- the literature definitely needs some pepping up.  Have your read from a book by Jack Mills Modern Outline of Classification?  Ugh.  It is printed in single space type and the whole page is filled.  The format stinks and your eyes just go bananas.  (Interjection -- Steely Dan is now on with Brooklyn.)

Haven't done any cataloging, but I have an assignment to assign author #s using the cutter system and the L.C. System.

I'm feeling very much at home now especially since I know people to say hi to and developing ones to talk to.

Thursday I forgot my pills so Mom brought them to me and showed her around the academic podium and the library school.  It was nice introducing her to people I knew.  The campus is strange but I don't feel so overwhelmed and am beginning to like the architecture.  Am going to take Cannon over some Sunday and take pictures when there are few people.  There are some good shots just waiting.

Well I gotta go -- it's getting late and I want to do some reading.  Tomorrow Dad and I are going with my aunt to the Eastern States Exposition.  Am looking forward to it.  Dad and I were going to go to the State Fair in Syracuse but I had to work so I said I would go with him to this one.  We get along pretty good -- especially when I try harder than usual.

I noticed the stamp you used -- was it intentional?  Thank you either way.  Take care of yourself.

September 3, 1973 (Letter from Leslie)

Greetings.  I've been sitting reading The Passions of the Mind by Irving Stone, which I started months ago and put down.  Picked it up again because I had nothing else to read and felt like reading.  I am where Freud is learning more about neuroses and their often sexual basis -- very interesting -- lots of cases discussed.  I like the way and the details of Stone's writing.

Classes have started for me and tonight I am going to the library to do some reading for my Information Processing course.  Will learn how to classify and do subject analysis.

Last week was a depressing one for me -- I was just getting to know people at Korvettes and enjoying being a cashier.  I felt at home and not so lonely.  Most of my home friends, after staying in this area, are going away for grad school.  Also I don't know the Albany campus or hardly anybody there so am still alienated.  At Korvettes the people were friendly and some prospects for friends were there.  I think that is the main source of the depressed feeling.  I'm hoping that I will know more people at the school through working at the library.

My friend Chris and I were talking of sharing an apartment and now it is definitely in the realm of possibility.  That is another thing I miss -- the companionship I had in Buffalo.

Saturday was my last night at work and all of the people I liked said to make sure to come back and visit and Mrs. Willis, the woman who hired me, said that there would be no trouble in re-hiring me if there was a job and I wanted one.  They all made me feel very good and my mood has lifted quite a bit. I was surprised, though, I never expected to enjoy working as a cashier as much as I did.  I am keeping my I.D. badge as a souvenir of a most worthwhile experience.  On top of that I have wanted to know what it was like to be a cashier for a long time.

Well dinner is ready and I am quite hungry so I shall head downstairs and partake and continue later.

Thursday 6:Sept '73 - Good morning leaning towards afternoon.  I'm sitting in the lounge before going to my noon class.  Had one more reading to do for the class today, but didn't have time and there isn't any now so I thought I'd write instead.

Got my car fixed so today's the second day I've been using it.  Yay!  Just bought a parking permit for it today.  I still have to fix, possibly just buy a new bulb for the light over the license plate which is out.

My mood is fine -- I've been meeting people as I go along and here are good possibilities for friends.  As a whole there is a feeling of community developing more as new students get to know everybody else.  Both libraries are okay -- media lab isn't as busy as the school's -- Tuesday when I worked 10-2 I was busy the whole time especially with reserve materials going in and out.  Still have a lot to learn as far as running things in the media lab goes.

Chris and I are definitely going to look for an apartment -- she works in Albany not too far from SUNY, so we will try to find something close to this area or maybe about 10 minutes away or so -- not like the half hour it is now.

This afternoon there was a wine and cheese party for the new students, old students, and faculty to get together.  It was real nice-- had a good time talking -- but I had to leave to go to work in the library so I didn't talk to as many people as I wanted to.  The wine turned out to be a wine, ginger ale, and vodka concoction which more than hit the spot.

Tonight I had to work 4-10 in the library -- ugh.  Was glad to leave -- not a whole lot to do so I looked at books during the slow times.  Today I went in the bookstore -- looks kinda nice, will have to make a close inspection.  Don't think they have a music room, though, in the student center.

What's happening with you?!?  Are you in Pittsburgh?  I'm dying to see you -- seeing you for a short weekend and then not for months is rough on the system.  Would love to talk with you.  Would love to...

Time to switch the topic.  Tomorrow I have to work to make up for the hours missed on Monday (school holiday), so I'm going really early to see if I can get on line early at the Bursars to get my bill straightened out.  What a pain.  But the day will have a nice ending as I am going to have dinner with Chris (who is also a Scorpio) and who you will most definitely meet if you come to visit.

I am going to turn off the light now -- will continue later.

Good morning it is now 10:05 and I am sitting at the Bursars waiting for #73 to be called.  At least with the take-a-check you don't have to worry about losing your place in line so you can go do something else or get something else to read.  I went and got something to read "Concept of Social Organization".  Ugh.  Skimmed it (it was an additional reading) and copied the nice outline at the end showing the framework of bonds of organization.  Ugh.  Have been sitting here for an hour because I didn't arrive early enough (it was about 8:55 -- five minutes before opening) and am 15th in line but they are around #70 so it shouldn't be too much longer.

This morning was a glorious morning with the sun shining, dew on the ground and the air crisp and cool.  What a delight to sleep with all the windows open and using a blanket as compared to all the windows open -- no air stirring and sweating all night long.  They are on #71 and I am #73 so will continue later.

Saturday 8 -- Hello again.  I am sitting in my room and just finished listening to Brian Auger's Second Wind so now will put on Future Games and make some comments then re-read your letter (savor) and make more comments, nice ones, of course.

Friday was one of those days that everything just goes well and ends without a let-down, but a hope and looking forward to the days ahead.  I paid my student fee and activity fee and that took care of my bill because of the tuition waiver.  (I sent a letter to Warren telling all so you should get it soon or maybe already have.)  Today I finally received my scholarship incentive and that removes all doubt from my bill.  Then I went to Korvettes and received my 2nd and final check, unless I work during Christmas or something like that.  Then I made it to the State Office Building to visit family friend Muriel Griffin, who wrote a very nice, glowing report of my character for my file.  Then "work" in the media lab from 12-4, which resulted in reading one required article and talking to Ken, Jim, and Julie. Then on to Wolf Rd. to meet Chris as she came out form work.  She has been staying at her friend's apt while they are away.  Went there and she cooked a delicious spaghetti dinner -- with salad, wine (Liebfraumilch), and bread.  Mmmm sumptious.  I also called home from there and found out that I had gotten a letter from you (had a feeling it had come).  We talked about our likes and dislikes and other sundry things and then decided to go drinking.  Had to go by the house so I could read your letter (put such a fine touch to the evening) and played Grover Washington Jr. for Chris.  Off to Jonathan's (oh yeah -- I drove for a change since I now have my own wheels) to drink and listen to the folk singer who was very pleasant to listen to and was very competent on the 12-string guitar.  Last stop after that was Denny's for nourishment and then drop Chris at the apt.  What a fine day!

Now comments as I re-read your letter.  I am sorry also that you did not make it here, but I understand because the same happened to me and that's how I spent 8 days in N.Y. earlier in the summer.  My family and friends were looking forward to meeting the mystery man and I wasn't going to let you leave without going dancing.  Just no way -- I had plans for us to go out with Dick and Chris and have a good time -- but it will come.  Maybe I can come to Pittsburgh for a weekend in the near future -- what do you think?   Let me know.  Oh yeah, flash back to when I first met you and danced with you at Maddy's party -- I was never the same after that.

This week I saw "Paper Moon" and really enjoyed it.  Tatum O'Neal was just incredible plus I appreciated Ryan for the 1st time.  The girl who played Norma Jean (my mom's first name and my middle one) was excellent.  Trixie Delight was hysterical but tragic underneath.  It was such a well done film -- I think I could see it again (especially since I missed the first minutes of the film.)

Since you talked so much about your story, I'm dying to know more and would love to read it.  I'm really happy for you -- I din't know you wrote anything except your journals.

Think tonight after dinner I will head over to Korvettes and check out the record dept and say hello to some people while it is the slow time.

Earlier today I drove to Amsterdam to visit my friend Evelyn -- I had a feeling she wouldn't be home and she wasn't so I left a note telling her briefly what's been happening.  I just wanted to go out -- it's been so beautiful -- fall is my favorite time of year.

That's about it for now -- take care of yourself.  I love you.