August 4, 1976 (Letter from Tony)

Here I sit in my Colden retreat, stretching time out to at least four times its normal length.  It's only been one week and 5 days since I finished the rather exhausting grind of the New York State Bar Exam.  and yet that experience has passed through the normal holding ponds of recent memory and is now firmly bedded in my long ago past..  I can't recall any other experience I've had which grew so old this quickly.

My position here is a familiar one, yet not one that I am completely comfortably with.  I guess mainly it's the rapid change from being a decision-maker leader in Binghamton to being a well-fed cared for son in Colden which I haven't quite accepted fully.   Not that it's bad, I do so enjoy being here.  But there is a touch of anxiety every now and then.  It's almost sinfully irresponsible to be here relaxing & reading & sleeping & playing & eating.

A portion of that anxiety can be attributed to the uncertainty of my future.  Do you see the incongruity, Paul, where here I am with all my immediate care provided for, being rather dependent & removed from the hustle & bustle "real" world while I sit & contemplate how I'm going to structure my immediate future. I could just go on relaxing here for some time unless that [illegible] propels me into action.  But a life decision made here would tend to be rosy-colored and may not look so fine in the bright light of coming reality.

But I carry on too much on this.  I expect to stay here at least another week, then I'll trek on to Boston by way of Springfield.  My stay will be more certain when I speak to the unemployment people on Tuesday next.  But now I expect I'll be in Springfield Aug 11, Wednesday.  I may stop in Binghamton first or I may do that on the way home.



My blueprint for the near future is this.  I want to get a seasonal job -- full time for 4-5 months. This, surprisingly to me, is not much accepted in the lawyer world.  Anyway, I then would want mid April til October free to do some vegetable growing.  In this period of 6-7 months I'd be working only about 20 hours a week in April-May & then about 10-12 hr/wk thereafter.  I should be able to grow enough vegetables for myself and several others -- and if I fully commit myself I would become a vegetarian & provide most of my food for myself.  Some of my inspiration from the book -- Living the Good Life -- by Helen & Scott Nearing, wherein they describe their 20-year experiment of living on a Vermont farm & providing their year's livelihood in only 6 months.

This would then leave me up to 2 months free time to do some legal work or travel.

The idea of part-time work has always appealed to me.  It remains to be seen if I have the courage and determination to carry it through.  Enough for now.