September 18, 1976 (Letter from Grayce)

I have the sagebrush blues -- have been pulling the stuff for 1 week and although I'm almost finished I really needed this little respite.  I have a rash (of course) from the stuff & it's beginning to get unbearably itchy -- so I'm stopping (the rash goes away in a few hours if I remove myself from the irritating weed.)

Brook (that lucky wretch) hasn't been able to help because he has 3 exams this week.  He has 2 hrs. each of Math, Physics, & Radiation each day & about 1 hr. of homework in each also -- so he's been pretty busy -- I've been pretty busy making popcorn for him to study with, also!) but his exams are over today & tomorrow we really have to start getting the soil ready for the grass seed. We don't have too many weeks left before the snows (according to the weatherman.)  By the way he (the weatherman) certainly has an easy job of it out here -- it's only rained once in the time we've been here & people said that that was unusual!  It should be great fun trying to grow grass. Oh well, there are always wood chips & bushes.

Something neat this week -- A STEREO!  We're both actually excited about it.  Brook didn't think he'd finish his amp before Xmas & we really didn't want to wait, so we bought one.  Got a good deal on a Kenwood (1/2 price) at the Sound World here in the "mall".  Brook intends to sell it when he finishes his (who knows when?).  He's not going to have much spare time for quite awhile.

I'm just having such a good time listening to all my favorites!  Steely Dan, Bonnie Raitt, Michael Franks, and David Bromberg are the currently most enjoyable.  I don't know how I was able to do without them for so long.

It's so quiet here-- when the records are not on, all I hear is the ticking of the clock.  But just recently, they've started construction on a house near us and I am awakened in the morning by this funny construction worker who sings "Good Morning America" at the top of his lungs --a real comedian!  Actually, I get awakened twice, once at 5:20 AM to get Brook up (a Herculean task!) Just last week I had to take custody of the alarm clock & put it on my side.  It seems that Brook's subconscious didn't want his conscious self to hear the alarm.  He'd shut it & go back to sleep & claim he never heard it.  One day of this trick was enough -- so now I get to be the bad guy!

At least I've been sleeping ok (not great, just ok).  I try not to do the yoga too close to bedtime, though because I find that it gives me too much energy and then I really can't sleep.  I usually do some about an hour after I've been up (not as soon as I wake up -- it doesn't seem to be a good time for me) and then later in the day, about 3-4 in the afternoon.

I've just added the Sun Goddess Salutation to my daily list and I usually do it 2x -- I doubt I'll ever get up to 12!  I didn't think I'd like this one, since it's so long, but I find that I really enjoy it & it's an excellent warm-up (which is its purpose).  I may cut out some of the beginner's warm-ups which this takes the place of.  I find as I go on that I enjoy the positions so much more than the warm-ups (but I'm afraid to drop any arm-ups since they feel so beneficial -- and the fact that I don't like them as much must mean that they're good for me.)  I don't know when I'll ever get to a headstand (one of the pinnacles).  Some people never do.  My "guru" (the woman who encouraged my interest) said it took her 3 years to even attempt a headstand -- let alone to get it right!  So I suppose I won't worry about it.  One thing yoga teaches is Patience, just to wait til it's time for certain things to come -- not only in the physical & mental progress of the discipline, but also in the process of living.

I am also coming to value detachment more & more in receiving your letter about the hopeless situation the world is in.  I can hardly disagree.  I used to feel so disillusioned about man.  You see, at one time I believed that man could progress -- but now I see that that was such a fool's paradise.  (Revolution just reverses itself in every instance.)  Now I feel that the postponement of Armageddon is not a good.  Man really needs something to shake him up.  He doesn't deserve the good things he has & won't until he realizes that he has them. Unfortunately, he won't realize he had them til they're gone -- or at least mildly threatened.  I know this seems rash -- but what else has ever affected man but his own misfortune and pain?  Biblically speaking, this is sound also, no?

I really have a feeling for the Old Testament and its solidness -- the New Testament seems pale by comparison, to me.  In the O.T. the emotions were more "real" it seems, while in the N.T. (& that includes NOW) the emotions are petty -- even the sins seem petty in a way -- this sounds very incoherent -- but I can't seem to express what I feel -- maybe you understand with only the suggestion?

Well, enough of this -- I'll get off the pulpit, now.

I feel very right being here.  I am happy.  I haven't missed yet having a job, because I've been pretty busy.  Actually, I felt that I was stagnating in Pittsburgh (that includes double the year we spent at GSLIS).  I was very disappointed in myself, my lovely job at Seton Hill -- the only thing I was pleased about was being with Brook.  He really held me together during those year.

Here I feel as though I can hold myself together (not always, of course), but that I can explore things that are new & that I can grow a lot.  Brook feels the same way.  (I hope he gets more time later on.)  I think living here is going to have a profound effect on me.  I hope it will be good, but of course there will be some negative thing s-- just not too many would please me.

I have lots of ideas for doing things right now.  I probably will never implement all of them.  Before I left Phila, I found an old quilt that my mother had sewn by hand while my father was going to night school.  It was the only thing she's ever sewn by hand like that.  She used to use it on my bed when I was little.  She wanted to throw it away!  (I'll probably put it in the "guest room".)  I'd also like to make one of my own, but that won't be able to be even thought about for some time, I guess.

Ok, Paul, I know this letter is boring.  I'm sorry.  Maybe my next letter will be better.  I'll try.

You didn't say much about your trip to Philly.  Did you like Winston's?  The Art Museum?  (You really can't see it all very well in 1 day.)  Bev wrote me that she enjoyed seeing you.  I wish I could have been there.  Oh well...

I guess I'll be going -- back to the weeds!