August 5, 1976 (Letter from Grayce)

Just sitting here, catching my breath -- it's only 9 AM and already I'm tired -- I think I'll probably be able to sleep tonight.  I've been trying to organize some of my accumulated things (of which there are far too many!) It certainly is work!

I meant to write soon after you left, but for some reason (besides being busy showing the house, etc.) I just couldn't seem to.  I'm not sure exactly why, but when I've seen you for a few days & then you leave, I don't seem to be able to write very soon.  It's almost as if I have to let you recede a bit, so I can see you at a distance (reminiscent of the idea that one sees one's friends more clearly from a distance as a mountain climber see that which he had climbed?)

I think it's because I'm so happy when I do get to see you that I don't fully believe that you are here, when you are here, & when you leave, it's like I have to sort out a dream of oms kind . . . does this make any sense at all?  I'm sure I'm not getting the emotion on this piece of paper!

Regarding our house -- we have had quite a few inquiries (especially from the Sunday ad) but Westinghouse offered us an amount which almost was what we asked, so allowing for closing costs (which they pay), legal fees (ditto) & trouble of transferring deeds & other general time-consuming & boring details (which we will be ecstatic for them to take care of ) -- we feel it is all around better to sell to them. (We only had a certain amt of time to accept their offer &^ were afraid if we sold it privately, there might be a delay with the buyers getting a loan right away & we can't wait 'cause we have to pay for the new house.

This week we are planning to take the beveled glass out of the front door & also the stained glass window on the third floor (which you never saw -- it's plain, but has some nice colors).  It's going to be quite a task -- since neither of us has done it, but I have faith in Brook's skill.  (Myself -- I would do best to keep myself scarce   I'm so clumsy!)  I just will be very upset if the windows break.  I plan to learn how to make stained glass, but only God knows when, (or where) -- certainly not in Pocatello (although one never knows.)  Actually, I know the rudiments, I'd just need some good equipment & some (much) practice.  Maybe I should get more competent at weaving first, though. It's not too good to have too many interests at once.  Between Brook &^ myself, we're bound to cover everything before long -- I'll be jaded by the time I'm 28!  (Like Kierkegaard.)

I feel such an affinity with him.  Maybe because his life was full of such pathos -- it just seems to affect me so much.  He was such an "indirect" person, but his philosophy really had a great effect -- (although he always refused to admit to being a philosopher! -- he detested Hegelian logic and didn't want to be associated with its consequences in any way) as for its consequence s-- Hegel personalizes history & let it roam wherever it liked.  Many feel that Hegel's ideas greatly affected Heidegger & that he in turn came up with the Aryan purity of race idea which in turn brought about the climate in which a Hitler could flourish.  (But he also brought about a climate in which Marx could write.)  It was such an open-ended philosophy -- that was its main problem.  As a matter of act -- Kierkegaard & Marx attended the very same Hegel course in Berlin (but never got acquainted) & came out with such totally diverse ideas -- it's something that's hard to believe.  Oh well, enough of this lecture.  (Wake up, Tweety!)

The yoga seems to be progressing.  My body often wants to balk at taking time to slow down & relax for the exercises, & that is supposed to mean progress.  (The book says your body wants to be lazy (mine certainly does) & to get old -- so any attempt to rouse it from its natural course, it will try to thwart).  I really feel that this helps me relax, though.  I am a tense person & now I feel much more relaxed than I did.  Part of this is because I don't have to be at Seton Hill anymore, but part must be due to the yoga, I feel.

I got something neat in the mail yesterday.  (A 2 carat diamond, hee hee)  Actually, it's one of those Wellington counterfeit diamonds, but it does look real & it's just in a very plain setting.  I rather like it (but it's so rock-like, I don't think I'll wear it very much.)  I forgot to mention that this was one of the third prizes in a mail-order catalog contest.  Occasionally, I enter these things, just for the fun of it, and occasionally I do win something.  This ring is worth about $50 (they say $75, but I don't think so) so I suppose it's nothing to sneeze at.  (Maybe next time, I'll win the car?)

Well, I suppose I'll try to get t his in the mail today.  We are going golfing tonight (neither of us has ever been) with the people upstairs.  I'm sure I'll be terrible (it's certain to be a lot harder than miniature golf!)