January 4, 1978 (Letter from Grayce)

I certainly feel like a RAT (but then, w hat can you expect from someone who has been around cheese for so long?) but, actually, I do not really have that excuse to fall back on at this time -- my cheese job having been quit several days ago.  Maybe it was just that it took a few days for me to get the cheese fumes out of my brain?

I do have a new job (or at least, I think I do).  This is how it happened.  One night Brook saw an ad in the paper for someone to do layout and some light artwork for a local advertising paper & he convinced me (albeit, fleetingly) that I could do this!

So -- full of fear & trembling, I applied for this job and was interviewed by this nice guy whom I proceeded to convince (the emphasis on CON) that although I had NO knowledge of layout, photography etc. -- and I had some knowledge of printing typefaces (from Grant Lee's course) and points and sizing, etc. -- that I could do this job.  Now -- not being convinced myself -- it was certainly charming of me to convince him!  But I guess I did, because he hired me (although I'm sure he'll regret it at least once a day until (and if) I learn exactly what I'm doing.

I don't know what my hours will be because they're re-arranging things there, but I think I'll have 30 hours/week, which will be nice.

He also hired another older woman, who has been doing this stuff all her life.  Needless to say, I feel very DUMB.  But, even if I can't do this job and they fire me -- or tar & feather me, even -- I do think it will be worth it for the experience alone.  And I have been seeking a challenge for quite some time now -- so this must be it, I guess.  I hadn't quite expected it to come along in this guise, but now that it's here - I don't dare reject it without some kind of trying, because who knows when the next one will be coming and I don't want to get too rusty in the challenge department!

Well, here I am, babbling on about me & I haven't even wished you a Happy New Year or asked about your Christmas!  I'm sure you had good holidays, though did you do home, as planned?  I've never really liked the idea of New Year's Eve -0- so I'm not exactly a fan of what people usually do on that night.  Brook isn't either, luckily, so we usually spend a quiet evening.  One thing I did really love was the Mummer's Parade in Philly every New Year's day.  It's an old tradition, and I hope maybe next year, we'll get to see it.  Brook never had, so I think he'd really enjoy all the nice costumes and string bands etc.

It's been snowing here off and on (mostly on) since the weekend you were here.  Forget what it looks like on the ground underneath.  But I do love seeing the trees with icicles on them.  Having not had trees for awhile, I drink them in very anxiously now, every chance I get.

We got some of our vacation pictures developed & some of them are nice. (We tried to take some of the fireworks at Disneyland & naturally then didn't come out!)  Sometimes we'd like to get a good camera, but sometimes we both think we have too many possessions already!  The picture of Mickey & me is funny.  Brook is really thrilled with it & wants to carry it in his wallet &^ somehow, I suppose I'll let him, because I doubt that he'll ever show it to anyone!  (I wouldn't want someone's first impression of me to be "Oh, she looked like Mickey Mouse!")

Well -- that's enough nonsense for now, I guess.

November 16, 1977 (Note from Grayce)

This is likely to be a frantic note.  I'm busy this week.  I got a job at a cheese store in the mall -- making fruit baskets (which, believe it or not, I have done before!) and also the people who own a gallery there have accepted my prints & want them framed & ready to hang as soon as possible.  I feel awfully good about this.  I just hope they sell!  My job at the cheese place also consists of cutting cheese (& I am a terrible judge of ounces & pounds!) so it's interesting for now!  (I'm learning a lot about new cheeses, too.)  I still feel a little strange in this new place, so I'm anxiously awaiting your visit.  It will be so good to see you again!

We've settled our "Thanksgiving plans" & naturally they did not turn out as I thought they might.  We are going to P-burgh this weekend & my parents are coming here for Thanksgiving weekend.  I THINK.  Of course, with this area, you can never be too sure when the dreaded SNOW will take your plans U& rip them to shreds!

By now, I suppose you've noticed the custom-made map which I have enclosed & knowing my wonderful sense of direction, you have probably already torn it up & put it in the circular file?  Well, please tape it back together, Tweety, because Brook devised it & he's really good at directions.

Please have a great Thanksgiving with your family and we'll see you soon.  (Are you coming Fri. night the 2nd?)

November 5, 1977

I'm not unpacked yet, but I've almost given up caring.  I don't' want to move again (at least not with this much stuff) for a long time!!!  Of course, that's what I said last y ear, but in August I said to Brook -- "OK, where are we going now?"

Both of our parents are delighted, of course.  I kept imagining I'd see mine on the doorstep when we got here, heh, heh.  Actually, I really want to see them, but I'm not sure when they'll be up. Thanksgiving may not be a good idea, because then Brook's parents may feel hurt if they can't be here, too, but I think having them both would be too much.  We did that 2 years ago & it was a nice holiday but I wouldn't want to make a tradition of it.

I did have some bad news this week from home.  My "grandfather" died of a heart attack.  I really loved him.  He wasn't my real grandfather -- my grandmother married him 25 years ago, though & he always was awfully good to me & a lot of fun to be with.  I'll miss knowing he's there.  He was 90, though & he lived a very happy life, so I guess I'm not really "mourning".  I just feel sorry for my grandmother.  It must be awfully lone for he.  Oh well.  I'll get off this subject now...and get to a more pleasant one.

When would you like to visit?  I'm anxious to see you & hope we'll see you often!  Of course, I realize it's a long drive & I don't expect you to give up all your time -- just as much as you can. You know what a demanding wretch I am!

We haven't sold our house yet -- although we have a family interested, but there's a big different between interest and a check in the desired amount.  So we're still paying the mortgage there & the rent here, which isn't too great, but I guess I can give up a few luxuries!  I applied at Rochester Public Library but no jobs right now, naturally.  I also applied at Xerox, but don't really expect much.  I asked at Waldenbooks, but they don't anyone.  I hate looking for jobs!  I really despite "selling" myself to the interviewer.  I just get so lazy, too, when I don't get the first few jobs I apply for.  I know that's a very spoiled brat-type of an attitude but I certainly do feel that way.  I guess maybe I will be a waitress. There's a Lum's down the road -- I can always go there as a last resort, huh.  Also it's good exercise to waitress.  I have a sinking feeling that I will never be a librarian again, and also I'm not sure I ever even want to be one again!  The more I think about it, the more I wonder why I ever went to Pitt?  I must have had some motive -- probably because I was too unsure of myself to get a PhD in philosophy and teach it.  Of course, I chose the "practical" way out & now I can't get a job doing that, either .  Well, I won't torture you with anymore of these reflections.  I just feel like such a failure!

Well, this isn't going to be a very long letter, is it?  Please do write & let me know when you'd like to visit.  We actually have a guest room here -- no more couches for you, Tweety!

September 25, 1977 (Letter from Grayce)

The past few weeks have been quite phenomenal, in terms of travel, seeing new things & old friends, and rushing around trying to get things done.  Maybe I can explain better.  I'd rather tell you about our trip to California in person -- and that not a far-fetched idea.  We've moving to Rochester (we're not sure exactly when, but probably by the end of October).  You can look at it either as a nice birthday gift or as a terrible Halloween prank!  (Probably the latter, huh?)

Anyhow, Brook went out for an interview just before our trip & they offered him a job as a quality control engr. (which is what he did before).  We thought it would be a good area to explore (& hopefully we'll stay for awhile.)  Last week, after coming back from Calif, we had a few days to get ready for our house-hunting trip to Rochester. We got back yesterday.  We saw a few home we liked but nothing that we really liked -- enough to pay what they cost, anyway!!!  And none seemed quite so charming as the place we have now!  So, because of our limited time (& resources) we began looking for roomy townhouses & apts (which were expensive, too, but didn't demand a large down payment such as houses do).  We found one we liked in Fairport, N.Y., 15 minutes outside of Rochester.  We tried to find one right in the city, but the cheapest one we liked was $425/mo. & wasn't nearly as roomy as ours (although ours isn't a hell of a lot cheaper.)   The main reason for our worry about money is we will have to pay the mortgage on this house ($350/mo.) until we sell it -- and the real estate market here is flooded with places on sale!  (Just our luck.)  Oh well -- so I'll be using lots of bean recipes for awhile.

Brook & I haven't eaten red meat for quite some time, anyway, so at least we're used to it.  We mostly eat chicken, fish, and some meatless casseroles.  I still haven't gotten Brook to eat eggplant!! But I haven't given up yet!


I am really dis-oriented lately -- just the thought of the things that need to be done & (thrown out) before we move makes me think of other things to do which aren't' so boring -- which means I haven't gotten much of consequence DONE.  I really have to start pushing myself to send change of address cards & a bunch of other lovely stuff!!

I'm not much of a letter-writer, either, lately, so please forgive -- especially this one.  I'm not looking forward to writing to every single person & saying the same thing about moving, changing jobs, etc. Oh well....

One new address will be (probably by Oct 31st)

Harts Woods Manor
1 High Gate Trali
#2
Fairport, N.Y. 14450

That's about all for now.

July 24, 1977 (Letter from Grayce)

The sun is relentless -- this paper is helping a bit -- to remind me that there are such things as trees, shade & bodies of water.

I forgot if  I mentioned to you that Brook's parents flew out here for a week to visit.  Of course, I was a nervous wreck for a whole week before -- and as a result I broke out in a rash.  On my hands -- fortunately.  It wasn't one you could notice.  It just itched!  I seem to insist on punishing myself.  I really think sometimes that I would have been a good cloistered nun!  (Except that I'd never be able to keep still & silent as long as they do!)  Anyway, all the worrying was for nothing, because it was a pleasant week.  I cooked "American" -- so there wasn't any problem with anyone not liking anything & Brook's mom made one of her scrumptious apple pies & I made a Boston creme pie, so we had plenty of sweets around (for which I feel guilty now, but .....)  I think they had a good time, but I don't think they liked the area much.  Brook's father thinks there's nothing better than Pgh. (just like me abt. Philly!!!), but after a year here, I've come to appreciate this place very much. I love seeing nothing but mountains & clouds & sky.  I think living in a city after this will fell awfully claustrophobic!

We did get to show them a reactor out in the desert.  (Not the one where Brook is, cause you can't get in there) but it was interesting to me because I learned a lot.  Our tour guide was a man  who does research in nuclear physics (and gives these tours for 1 month each summer) & he really had a lot of information & insight to share with us.  We were going to take them to Yellowstone, too, but it was so hot, none of us felt like riding 8 hours (4 each way) and then going down to Salt Lake the next day, which we did do.  We stayed there 2 days -- 3 nights, and got to see some things we didn't see the last visit.

Your idea for Spread Eagle sounds great & thank you for thinking of us.  We certainly will think about it.  Actually, we don't realty know where we'll be next year at this time, or maybe earlier. There's always the chance of a transfer for Brook -- or even of a new job offer.  Th is field is very open right now.  Brook has been approached by Rochester Gas & Elec. Co & they've asked him to come out for an interview, but he's not sure if he wants to or not.  It may not be [scrawl] (I do speak English) the type of job he wants to get into right now.  If he does take this job, though, we may get to see each other more often!  Everything feels very up in the air to me right now and I'm not sure I'm going to look forward to moving again after just 1 year.  I feel like a gypsy sometimes and I did want to be here for at least another year, to get to see some more of the area although we've done a lot on the little time off that Brook has.

Your American History project sounds like it's really interesting.  You must be so full of information.  Do you feel that the books, on the whole, present a truthful or distorted picture?  I mean -- even in this time, when so much is being supposedly "exposed" -- I don't believe the ordinary person, or even the historian gets anything like the whole truth.  So I'm just wondering about the earlier times & whether they've hidden much, which I'm sure they have.  But, I guess, my real question is, can you discern little gaps of information where you are puzzled by things that are left out?

I've heard a few things about the Revolutionary era, which puzzled me -- although I suppose if I did some extensive reading, most of them could be cleared up.  One of them has to do with a supposed murder at Jumonville (sp) which Washington was thought to have committed.  Have you reach much concerning this?  If so, maybe you could give me a concise explanation, lazy wretch that I am!!!  If you ever need Prevention info, don't hesitate to ask, and if I've covered your subject, I'll be glad to send any information along.  I was considering just buying Prevention Press' Encyclopedia of Natural Medicine, but maybe I'll do that later.  I have less & less faith in doctors lately, not that I ever thought they were great, but I just feel that they do so much unnecessary surgery, and so many don't even want to hear about any drugless therapy.  Even pharmacists aren't open to natural healing -- which is understandable, I suppose, since it could put a few of them right out of business!!

I really like Am Heritage.  I've read quite a few of those -- mostly while I was at Seton Hill.

Well, this month I'm going to look forward to getting ready to exhibit my work in the Eastern Idaho Fesstival in Blackfoot.  So far I have a weaving and a watercolor, which both need some preparation before they're entered.  Also, I've completed my first lino cut, but haven't made any prints from it yet.  It's going to be called "Harmony", I think.  It's a picture of the moon & the sun, opposites, which reconcile themselves in the life force, which is depicted by a tree.  I'm awfully pleased with the cut itself -- especially since it's my first one.  I hope you can see it.  My next one is going to be a town scene, I think, but I haven't sketched it yet.  It's still in the vague stage & probably will be for awhile yet.  I don't like to "solidify" an  idea too soon, because once it's definite I find it difficult to picture changes in my mind anymore.  Unfortunately, I may not be here for the Festival itself.  (I'd like to be, to see how my things are received) but we may be going to California for 2 weeks beginning Sept. 1st.  (Not that I'm not anxious to do that, too.)  It just would have been nice to do both.  As it stands right now, Linda, my boss, may be able to take my stuff up to Blackfoot for me, so I guess I shouldn't complain!!

I hope we can see enough in 2 weeks to satisfy me.  So far, we're going to Reno first, then S.F. & some wineries, & a day at least to visit my friend Olga in Los Gatos & then down to L.A. & of course to Disneyland (Brook's main reason for wanting to do is to have my picture taken beside Mickey, I think!!)  On the way home, we'd like to stop at Yosemite Nat'l Park, if we have time. Sounds like a hectic 2 weeks to me, but that's all the vacation Brook gets, so...  Can you think of anything we really should see?  I think we're going to drive down the coast on the way to L.A.  I can't wait to see an ocean again!  (& to get in!)

Well, that's about all for now.

P.S.  I don't think I mentioned that my mom is working in my father's office now.  I think it's greate & it seems to be working out really well.  I think they're even closer now than ever & also it's given my mother some much-needed confidence in her own abilities.

July 10, 1977 (Letter from Grayce)

I'm having a great time tonight.  Just got a package of new records from Brook's dad -- so I'm going thru them to see which ones meet with my "approval".  Right now I'm hearing the new  Brian Auger (Happiness Heartaches) & actually, while its better than most of the junk that's out right now -- I'm slightly disappointed.  It just doesn't have the magic of some of the others, at least, not for me. Next comes Michael Franks, one of my all-time favorites -- (are you familiar with him?)  His lyrics are what interest me most, I guess, although I like the music, too.  I'm saving that one for the "wee hours'.

Brook has been at the site much of this week.  He has a big test tomorrow.  What a grinder they put these people through -- 1/2 of his class has quit already -- and the other half aren't too pleased with things, either.  Hopefully, after August, when he qualifies, he'll be spared these long hours.  I feel so sorry for him.  He has no time to do any of his little putterings.  I'm sure I've harped on this before, though, so I'll fermez ma bouche!

I've started a project this week which I've had in mind for some time.  I've been getting Prevention since early 1973 and the issues were really building up.  Also I never did bother to get the index, so I've decided that I'm going to make my own reference source oft of them.  I bought 2 blank bound record books (lined) and am using 1 for A-L and the other for M-Z (obviously).  Then I'm abstracting each article & other facts I consider important about indiv. subjects (vitamins & which part of body they benefit most, herb remedies, etc.) and entering them in the ledgers.  Then, I'm getting rid of the magazines themselves.  I know someone who'd like them, so I won't have a guilty conscience about it.  And when I need some kind of information on vitamin K, then I'll just use my handy (& compact) ledger of facts!  (Of course, it's not a perfect system -- but then, it keeps me out of trouble, right?)  For most of the time, anyway... (I'm on 1976 now.)

This week, 2 of Brook's friends from the Pgh Westinghouse came out here -- not for a visit, but to stay.  They're living up in Idaho Falls.  These are the same two who got us into that rafting trip last spring.  And this afternoon, Greg called me & tired to entice me to go with them tomorrow on the Snake River trip -- (although I'm sure he knew I wouldn't react favorably to this!)  Luckily, I had a splendid excuse not to go -- work!  Also, I know Brook doesn't want to again, so that settled that anyway.  It will be nice having some buddies out here.  The only thing is -- Greg is really crazy. He says he'll get us all to go hang gliding in a few months, but I'll have to be in another dimension before I ever do that!  I'm afraid to go on a ferris wheel!  Of course, this would probably be the perfect past-time for such a [drawing of little bird] as yourself?!

Don't worry -- if you do get a come out here next year, I'll be sure to have the guest room all ready. We do actually have a guest room here -- with a bed, even.  Or would you rather have a perch?) And -- a window that opens -- (not like our other place) -- haven't we progressed?

Speaking of guests -- Brook's parents are coming on Saturday (July 16th) for a visit.  I intend to spend at least the next 5 days cleaning.  (Maybe nights, too!)  It will be nice having company.  We haven't planned exactly what to do  yet, but we will go down to Salt Lake for 2 days (yeah, seafood!) and , of course, we'll show them all around beautiful Pocatello.  I'll probably have to work at least 2 days that week, so that will limit us a bit.

I do wish I could talk to you sometime - but not just talk, I mean -- see & talk.  It would be nice. But then, I probably wouldn't have anything comforting to say, anyway.

I know you are restless where you are, but maybe it will be good for you in some immense way that is not visible yet?  I thought my 2-year stint at Seton Hill had only a negative side, but of course, now that I can put it into perspective, I can see some good.  (Not a hell of a lot, but some!) And your situation, as you know, is not nearly as negative as Seton Hell was -- this must make you see !  (Nothing could be worse than Seton Hell!)   I know that when your debts are paid, Paul the Phoenix will emerge and that freedom alone will make all the difference.

I had a wonderful dream the other night.  I feel like I was under a spell, so I don't really want to analyze it or anything, but a general outline, maybe.

A unicorn was the main character and he was my friend and he told me all these things.  They were puzzles -- and of course I can't remember what was so great about them.  But I remember that I was completely immersed in them and they were freedom-giving, or some such thing.  I just remember the images of this animal and his face was kind.  I just woke up with a good feeling about everything.  It was a very idealistic dream, but I suppose idealism is more comforting than realism anyway?  (That does not sound like an existentialist, does it?  Maybe I'm not one, after all?)

June 20, 1977 (Letter from Grayce)

(I hated Network -- the only reason we went was because we heard from so many people that it as good!  That's the last time I listen to them!)


As you can probably tell, I'm in a silly mood!  But I will try to compose myself to some extent -- at least enough in order that I'll be lucid (or as lucid as I ever can be!)  I liked your card.  I do think it conveys the mystery of Scorpio.

I've been keeping myself busy -- with weaving, mostly & also with my new interest -- printmaking. Woodcuts & lino cuts will be a very demanding medium, I think, but so engrossing.  I'm really fascinated & hope soon to be doing something in them.  Right now, I'm just reading about different techniques & methods U& kind of gathering ideas in my subconscious for subjects.  Its a limited medium, but it was a charm all its own & lends itself to the concrete in a way that painting does not (but in a way, that weaving does, also).  This probably makes no sense at all, huh?

Actually, I've only showed the water colors I've done to one person (other than Brook) & that was my boss.  The incredible thing is that she bought one, and that has, for some reason, given me more confidence in them & in me, too, I guess.  So I think that I will exhibit them in August at the show here -- if I get them matted in time, which I think I can.  also, I guess I"ll show some of the weaving I've been doing -- who knows?

I'm not sure, but I feel different for some reason.  Actually, I don't think my personality has changed, but I do think my outlook has changed in some ways -- and mostly, I think I know myself better & that's almost certainly a result of being alone so much & having to deal with this stranger me.  I can't describe how painful this "metamorphosis" has been in some ways -- but it's also been very happy -- a contradictory kind of thing, but not really & I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, but I'm not exactly being eloquent on the subject -- mostly what's important is what I left unsaid -- as in all matters, huh?

This weekend, I'm looking forward to!  Brook has his 4 days off -- Sat, Sun, Mon, Tues. -- & not a moment too soon.  He really needs some time to do what he enjoys -- I mean how many weeks can you work 16 hrs/day without some kind of a break!?  Anyway, I have a picnic (I bought a picnic basket in Salt Lake City that I can't wait to use) -- a quiet one -- planned for one day.  A day we can just do NOTHING -- maybe bring something to read, and also maybe a day of weeding our non-lawn (the seeds froze, so we've got to plant all over again!)  this might be relaxing, also, since doing things with the hands has a certain appeal for someone who has to study & memorize all week.  And for Tuesday, I plan to be at work, so he can have a day completely lone.  I mean, I'm sure now that this will be the most valuable day for him.  It's funny -- now that we don't see each other so much, how we do value the time that he does have off from work, but even though he says I should stay home that day, I'm not going to, because everyone needs time alone -- don't you think so?  I'm sure you agree with me.

Anyhow, I have enjoyed our time here so far, very much.  But I must say that I think of "settling" in the East -- although I'm not sure of where!  I've always liked Main -- or maybe New Hampshire.  But first I want to see all of this area.  We're planning a trip to S.F. and L.A. by way of Reno (to stay with Kathy & Bob) and that'll be neat -- if Brook can take some time off after Aug 20th.  I don't know if we'll ever get down to New Mexico, although I'd love to since we have friends there.  But if not, I'll still be very happy that I've even seen what I've seen.  It's been a good experience all around.

Well, take care & don't apologize for not writing right away.  I don't want to make demands on you, I'm just happy for your friendship.

May 25, 1977 (Letter from Grayce)

Our trip to Salt Lake was great -- actually any place would have done just as well, I suppose. Mainly, we both wanted to get away.  I really enjoyed the place, though, too.  We saw some films, and had dinners in new places (including a good seafood place, which Pocatello does not have). Actually -- none of the films were the one I wanted to see (Three Women) but we did see Annie Hall (also The Late Show) & since I love Woody Allen, I enjoyed seeing him again.  I feel like he's my friend.  Anyway -- Three Women isn't here or in Salt Lake & I'm assuming it won't be here at all -- so if you've seen it, you can tell me all about it, n'est-ca pas?

As I'm writing this, I'm resting from 3 previous hours of painting.  I'm kind of getting back into watercolors, which I did a lot of before, but haven't done any for a few years.  I had forgotten how much I enjoyed that medium.  What I'm doing, is, just small things of wildflowers that I've seen & sketched, and/or just seen pictures of.  I'm pretty pleased with the results & I have Brook criticize each one -- since I know I couldn't find a more discerning characters!   And of course, he always tells the truth -- and lo & behold -- so far he's been pretty positive about them.  My next step will be to mat them -- which will probably be put off until 1983, because I don't really enjoy that part & it's so tedious!!  Linda (my boss) wants us to go up to Jackson Hole this August to try to sell some of our stuff, so if I get these done, maybe ....but I don't know, I'm such a chicken!!

Work has been really strange lately -- everyone is quitting.  Almost all the department mgrs quit (mostly because of the merchandising manager, who has a real personality problem.  He's overbearing & condescending & also obnoxious (&those are the nicest words anybody can think of!)  Anyway, it's a real nuthouse because all the new managers are new & don't know what's going on & therefore, don't know what I need to do -- when they need displays, signs, etc. etc. -- you get the picture!

The poor head of the store is a nervous wreck.  He's such a sweet man, Mr. Boyle -- and it's going to look like his fault that everyone quiet & nothing could be further from the truth.  I'm worried about him.  He really looks upset all the time.  So the other days, I asked him to lunch with Linda & me. We're going to take him to Jake's on Friday.  (Jake's is a nice place here, but probably not a place he goes to.)  When I asked him, I thought he was going to cry.  I think he's a little apprehensive about going with us, too, because I'm sure he thinks we're both crazy people.  If we're not fighting with people about displays, we're giggling & generally making fools of ourselves in other ways & he always seems to catch us in the strangest situations!!!  Anyway, when I said we'd like to kidnap him for the day, he said something like -- he wouldn't be able to take us for a whole day!  So we told him we'd settle for an hour.  Anyway, I hope he has a good time, he certainly needs too!

How is your sinus condition?  When does the season end there?  Sept? -- that can certainly be an annoying ailment.  Maybe man should have stayed on all 4's - then this wouldn't be known to happen -- also backaches?

I'm sure this is an inane letter.  It's 4 AM and I'm starting to get tired & I have to get up early tomorrow (today) & get Brook to the bus stop.  So....I think I'll stop for now.  I think I won't even read over what's above because it will wind up in the trash & I don't want to waste paper anymore than usual!

Well, here I am again & it's now May 26th, right?  Actually, it was May 26th before, too, but it didn't feel like it because I hadn't gone to sleep -- and you thought that this part of the letter might make some sense, didn't you?

Did I tell you about this book I picked up?  It's called Astral Journeys & I haven't had a chance to read it yet, but it looks very interesting -- and seems like it will tie in with ideas we had of space travel.  So, if I learn anything, expect to see me!  (heh, heh)  Now you'll have to be extra good, since I may be watching you!  Actually, I think the book mainly deals with poltergeists, etc. rather than actual physical travel, but it's a step in the right direction!

Last Sunday, I got this overwhelming desire to talk to a friend.  Brook had been gone for 2 days, so I'm sure that had something to do with it.  I probably would have called you, if you had a phone!!!! It's strange because almost Never do I get a strong desire to call anyone, even people I really want to talk to, like you!  I did call Diane & I think she was awfully surprised.  That's probably the first time I've called her long distance in all the time I've known her.  I'm a disgrace, I guess, but I always feel close to people, even if I don't see them.  I even feel as though I know how they're feeling Y& what's happening with them.  Anyway, it was a dangerous thing to do -- making that 1 phone call.  Because after we hung up, I felt like talking to every one & I think I would have if I didn't have visions of Brook's face when the $200 phone bill arrived!  The phone company should use the Lay's Potato Chip slogan -- "Betcha can't talk to just one?"  I guegss I didn't get quite enough sleep last night, huh?

Well, Ill free you now from this crazyness.

May 11, 1977 (Letter from Grayce)

Keith's Beautiful Homes magazine

One of my favorite discovers at Johnson's Secondhand bookstore in downtown Springfield, Mass., in 1977

I've been putting off getting my eyes checked for 4 years, now, so I finally went to a Dr. Clothier here. (He's related to the Clothier's of Strawbridge & Clothier & was originally from Philly.  He's about 60 now & has lived in Poky most of his life -- small world?)  Anyway, I did get some good news.  My eyesight has improved!  (It must bee all the carrots I eat  What's up, doc?)  So my new lenses are now only 1/2 the strength of my former ones -- which is encouraging.  My right eye is almost 20/20, also.  He said in cases of eyestrain which is what I had that caused me to need glasses in the first place -- this sometimes happen.

Today I ordered a really nice set of woodcutter's tools -- for etchings, etc.  Linda, my boss, is going to teach me some things about technique & then I'm going to experiment with some printmaking of my own.  Who knows, I may find my niche (no pun intended.  It's a very precise & exacting art, so I hope I have the patience for it.  Here's where yoga may help me some.

You know, sometimes I thoroughly regret not going to art school -- except that I feel that philosophy was also very good for me.  But, I felt so terrified of being "not good enough" in art -- because there are lots of mediocre people in it now, I think & I couldn't take a positive rejection in that area.  Do you know what I mean?  I sometimes think you may feel that way about your writing, huh?  I'm  sure you talented, but it's awfully hard to push & sell yourself?  It is for me. Linda really thinks I should take some of my things to shops around town & try to sell them -- but I don't feel ready -- Although I'm certainly not getting any younger.  She is constantly pushing herself to sell.  She's mostly involved in graphic arts, so gets jobs from area businesses.  But I just can't seem to ask people if they'd like to buy such & such, etc.  I usually wind up giving things to people when they say they like them.  Oh well...

I'm just sitting here with a glass of good beer & I'm also defrosting the refrigerator & also doing some laundry.  I know that any minutes things are going to catch up with me, by which I mean, the ice will start falling all over the floor, just as the dryer with the shirts in it gets finished & I should be there so they don't get wrinkled!  But til then, I suppose I'll just sit her & blabber on in my merry way!

About the macaroni.  I think there's really no comparison between homemade & store boughten -- just like most other things, I guess.  But it is a lot of work to make your own.  I usually do, but I don't do it too often for lack of time (& also inclination, to be honest).  Every once in awhile, brook will reminisce about Philly & my mother's cooking & I'll know it's a hint to please make some manicotti, or some such thing.  Anyway, in South Philly, my neighborhood had a neat little place to go.  This elderly woman made ravioli, cavatelli, canneloni, manicotti, gnocchi, etc. all day long & sold them fresh to the lazy people & they were very good.  It was nice while it lasted.  For ravioli, you really should get a ravioli cutter, whereas with manicotti, you don't need anything special.  The next time I see you, if you want to , I could show you some stuff.  It's not too hard, just time consuming.

I made a cheesecake yesterday & I thought of you & (you had asked for one last time I saw you), I guess I wanted to send you some, so....[drawing of a slice}.  It's the best I can do right now.  (heh, heh)

It looks as though Diane will be coming to see us pretty soon -- sans Paul & Bev.  Oh well.   Maybe next year?  Brook's parents are going to fly out for a week starting July 16th.  I'm looking forward to all this company, but I hope they're not bored.  This isn't that exciting of a place.  I did warn them at least.

On May 20-24, we're going to Salt Lake City for a little rest & relaxation!  Brook has really been working hard -- usually he's away 12-16 hrs/day & sometimes he has to stay overnight.  Last week, because of my working so much we didn't even see each other for 3 days!  We haven't had a fight for months!  I keep telling him we'll have to make an appointment & really have a good fight!! (Actually, I'm only kidding -- I'm not that feisty!)

Well, I guess this is the end.

P.S.  I don't expect you to remember my birthday.  I'm debating with myself whether or not to just make Apr. 27 another day to sort of "de-classify" it in my mind, you know?

April 26, 1977 (Letter from Grayce)

I'm really happy to hear that you are beginning to appreciate Philly!  It's about time!  Actually, I guess it has to grow on you.  I did have 22 years, didn't I?

Today I got a new sewing machine.  I'm awfully in awe of it still.  It's a Viking 6000 -- with lots of fancy stitches.  Hearts & flowers & xxx's etc. etc.  My other machine cost me $85, 5 years ago & it was all I could possibly afford at the time.  This one costs $800, but it's on sale for $650 -- which is still a lot!  But I decided to really splurge, or rather, Brook decided that I could -- especially, since I do make all my clothes.  I'm sure in a year or 2, it will pay for itself.  It's guaranteed for 30 years, so I imagine I'll have it for at least that long.  (Or my heir will, at least.)  Brook paid the 1/3 for my birthday, and I'm going to pay for the rest with money I make at told old Sears!  When you think of it, you pay $5000 for a car (or less) & it lasts for a few years.  (10 at most.)  So that's my rationale for spending so much on a sewing machine.  Spendo the magnificent LIVES!!!

I've been so busy lately. I always seem to have a surge of energy in April but this is ridiculous -- I've been working at least 3 days/week, sometimes 5.  Next week we have an inspection of our displays by the "big boss" from Salt Lake City, so I've been told I'll work every day til then (except Sunday) from 8 AM to 6 PM & also til 11 or 12 the night before the inspection.  Yech!  I'm not really looking forward to this, but the overtime money won't hurt, I suppose!

Also, Linda (my "boss") is in an art show on May 15th & is going to hire me to do all her matting (which will take about 2 8-hr days).  And then she's talking about us both entering things in a craft fair this summer & I don't have anything prepared for that, at all.  So I guess I'd better start weaving, etc.  If only I could channel my interests into 1 thing right now & complete it.   I feel very scatterbrained about so much -- even about little everyday things.  I don't feel like doing anything routine -- like cleaning.  And as I look around me, this house certainly shows it!  If I were home more, it would bother me to see things out of place, but right now I seem to overlook them very well.  Actually, I can't sit in a place very long -- maybe it's the weather, which has been too gorgeous for words, but I'm ANTSY!!

Lately, even on my few days off, I feel that I have to go somewhere, so I've been walking from our house to the Holiday Inn (2 miles each way) when I feel this way & that calms me down a little. (Or rather, tires me out so I don't feel so crazy!)  I'm hoping to work my way to the 2 1/2-3 mile point each way -- maybe after the inspection this next week.

I'm sure this letter is completely incoherent & I do apologize, but I'll try not to make you read any more of this now, ok?  I promise to be better next time!  If only it would rain once or twice, then I'd feel more settled, I know.

April 11, 1977 (Letter from Grayce)

I just drove Kathy to the airport.  My heart is beating at a normal rate again.  (I had never driven home from there alone).  I can't believe what a good weekend this was.  The last time I saw Kathy was May 1973, and we had been friendly for 2 years, but she's  not a writer (like us!) & other than an occasional call or note, I hadn't heard from her.  Ii was slightly apprehensive about this visit -- but we just blabbered on like 2 magpies from Thursday til this afternoon & we've gotten caught up on all levels -- superficial & psychological & in-between - a really satisfying experience to renew a relationship that you do value, but didn't get much chance to pursue.  It was so great to have company 'round the clock, too.  Bob (her boyfriend) couldn't come, but they are going to come together next time & in a way it was providential since we'd never have talked so much with another person here!  Brook was thrilled -- especially since he didn't have to listen to me for a few days!!

This little insert came in this writing paper.  Do you think I need to sent for it?  I know my letters must be boring & incoherent sometimes (at least!) but I don't think I need "professional" help at this time!

Your letters usually arrive on Thursdays, or Fridays, for me, & I always answer them as soon as I can & I really enjoy hearing from you this often.  I'm afraid my other letters often get neglected, but more of my other "pen pals" don't answer nearly as quickly as my friend Paul.  He must know that I need this continuum, huh?

Actually, I'm not a phone person.  I like to see the person I'm speaking to.  Just the voice makes me feel a great gap!  I know I'm persnickety, but I guess it's too late to change -- and especially at this senile age I'm about to reach!!!

As for your lack of concentration -- maybe it's something trite like spring fever?  (Not to belittle the effects.)  The weather here has been so gorgeous.  I often find myself just sittin' 'n' 'starin' -- instead of doing!  Linda (my boss) & I manage to spend at least one of our breaks outside now, even it it's just to sit on the parking lot curb out back of the store.  We've decided that once or twice a week, we'll take turns bringing a picnic lunch.  (Kath brought me a perfect picnic basket from Bob for Easter -- almost as if she had guessed that I'd been wanting one!)  Another funny thing -- we both  had a very similar dream on the first night she was here.  (Both dreamed that I was late for work the next day!)


I really liked Kiss Me Deadly, as I remember -- but I don't remember too much about it.  (I hate the Academy Awards -- ever since John Wayne won the Oscar over Dustin Hoffman) (I've boycotted them, ever since).  I've never wanted to see Rocky -- maybe I'm just strange -- since everyone else seems to rave about it!

One of my favorites was Boys in the Band.  I love Leonard Frey -- ever since I met him & he gave me half of his dinner!  (I'll tell you that one, sometime!)


Kathy & I couldn't find a movie to watch here in Weird Land -- so we decided to see Thieves (Marlo Thomas).  Brook said he'd throw up, so we went while he was at work, so he wouldn't have to. Actually, it wasn't too bad.  There were a few funny lines, but her husband -- who was supposed to have been in a tough street game at one, looked like a marshmallow, to me -- unlike any street person  I've ever known!!  And to top it off, he played the flute!  (Very well.)  Oh well -- talk about incongruities.  Actually I usually go to movies to be entertained on a very superficial level (is this blasphemy to you?) and only at the worst ones do I get indignant!  (My mother & you would get along great.  She's a real movie buff -- but mostly about the older ones.  She's not ready for most of the newer ones, she says.)


I hope you had a splendid time in my town.  Did you say hello to Billy Penn for me?  Hope so!

Do you think you'll be out this way this summer at all?

March 29, 1977 (Letter from Grayce)

We just had a great 4 days.  Brook starts shift work tomorrow, so gets these 4 days before. Unfortunately, we didn't get anything done that we had planned -- like taxes (yech!) and fixing the VW, although he might do that tonight (I hope) since it's snowing now & I need to drive the car to work tomorrow & I don't' think the Fiat would be as good in snow as the UV.  Oh well...

Did I tell you how Brook's hours will be?  He'll work 7 days straight (leaves at 10 P.M. & be home at 10 A.M. next day) & then he'll have 2 days off.  Then he'll work 7 more days (leave a 2 P.M. & home at 2 A.M.) & get 1 day off & then he'll work 7 more days (leave at 6AM, home at 6 P.M.) & then get 4 days off -- which we'd like to use for trips to nearby places, but some of which we'll probably use for poor Brook to catch up on his sleep.  The "school" part of the program is over & Brook did really well & now he has a few tests every once in a while, but mostly he'll be in the plant itself, in practical situations.  We cannot take any of his vacation off until this part of the program is over in August, but then we'd like to take the full 2 weeks & drive to California.  You'll have to tell us some good things to see & do -- ok?  We'll be going to Reno 1st to see Kathy for a day or two. She's definitely coming with her friend Bob for Easter.  It will be so good to see them -- unfortunately, Brook will be on the 2-2 shift -- so we won't see him too much.  (He doesn't get any holidays off, but he does get a raise, so he guesses it's worth it!)  Right now I'm trying to decide where I can take them around here -- so they won't be bored stiff.



Have you been watching Scenes from a Marriage on PBS?  It's on Wed nights here.  I'm sure a polar bear like you wouldn't want to miss it.  I really like Bergman & Liv Ullmann is one of my favorites.  I didn't get to see Face to Face -- a big regret.  Maybe they'll get it out here yet -- but I'm not holding my breath.  The film they get here are never the good ones!  I was excited about The Front because it was so much better than anything else here.  They seem to really go in for the Whitewater Sam type films.  Brook & I have these free coupons for the drive-in here, but all the films are really strange.  The other night we decided to go, just for the hell of it.  The features were Lipstick (yuck) and Hustle (double yuck).  We had a good time though -- making fun of the acting & the plots.  I made a gigantic bag of popcorn & we took a six pack of Coors & we giggled for 3 hours.  Oh well -- that's life in the little town!



Tomorrow is my boss' birthday.  She just recently got a divorce & she seems awfully lonely so I'm having her over for dinner.  I really like her a lot.  It's so nice having someone normal to work for after my last experience.   Linda is not nit-picky, or spiteful, or a shrew, or any of the lovely things Sister Mary Ronald was.

I think you made the right decision about not moving to N.Y.  I can't imagine living there -- although I'm sure it would be very exciting.  But I'm not sure I'd like the excitement of wondering what would happen to me next.  One of my closest friends lives in N.Y. alone & I do worry about her -- as she lives in Soho & there are lots of strange things happening there all the time.  But she loves it, so...

We seem to have this in common.  I always worry about wasting time -- although I know I do waste it.  But usually I have to be "doing" & I like to have something that I've produced to show for the time I've spent.  Right now, I've been doing wall hangings, but feel like I'm in a rut.  My sewing machine conked out & I'm waiting for the needed part to come in.  The salesman was very eager for me to trad in my economy model for the Diana (electronic) machine -- $600.  Or the Athena (also electronic) -- $1200.  I did try them out & they are great, but the question is do I need something that fancy?  They both do fancy stitches (although the Athena does about 2x as many), but when I make something, I usually like to embroider it myself & make up my own design.  So I guess I'll pass.  Besides, I really can't see spending that much.  Maybe in a few years, when my present machine is a little older.



You know, I hardly ever watched TV very much before I came out here, but I've watched it more now than before.  Sometimes I just put it on to hear people talking!  But I've noticed something which I think is very harmful.  People on TV -- even "middle-class types" have so much more than real people.  Women who are just secretaries wear fabulous clothes & never repeat their clothes from week to week & they live in these great apartments & drive expensive cars.  It must make people who are really poor sick!  I'm sure everyone else noticed this a long time ago, but I've just discovered it, and I think it's awful!  Especially since so many people don't seem to realize the TV is a big illusion -- & a crazy one, at that!  It must be terribly frustrating if you believe that real people live that way who have the same job you have, or your husband has, etc.

Oh well...take care.

March 15, 1977 (Letter from Grayce)

Part of a double bill, "Cornbread, Earl & Me" being the other feature, at a West Springfield second-run theater.


These pass 2 weeks have been incredibly good ones for me!  My horoscope (a very accurate one which I sent away for) said March would be very active & it certainly has been, so far!  It all started with a premonition 2 Sundays ago.  I have to call it a premonition, because I felt a positive PUSH to go out that day & buy a newspaper -- something I only very rarely do!  Brook was working & I went to get a paper & I opened it up & the first thing I saw was an ad for a display assistant at Seat her in the Mall.  It sounded like it was something I'd like.  So on Monday, I casually walked into Sears, asked about the job, was interviewed & an hour later, they called me & told me I had the job.  I was amazed, since there were so many applicants!  Actually, the girl who interviewed me is my boss & we just got along very well & seemed to have some things in common.  Anyway -- I started yesterday & it's going to be a d day per week thing (although I'll have t work a full week once in awhile, but my hours are very flexible, which is always nice.  I can start as early as I want, after I know what I'm doing more.  I do all signs for display & also help make up the displays & I'm also responsible for the printmaking for sales, ads, etc.   So far, I've just been making signs, which has been interesting & they really keep me busy -- which I like!  Part of my job will also be to make sure the different department keep their displays neat & their decorations in order, etc.  I'm not sure I'll like doing that, but I suppose after I know people better, I can adjust.  I'm just happy to have a job that is consuming, right -- now.  I'll still have time for crafts.  (Although no sewing 'cause a part on my machine coked out & the man says it'll take 6 months [no one hurries here] to get it replaced.  There goes my new summer wardrobe!)  I guess it doesn't matter too much.  I can wear anything I like here most of the time (& most of the time, that's jeans of course!) because I get so dirty.  Yesterday I came home looking like a person who might have been trapped in a coal mine!!!  It does feel good to get right into something with your hands, though, instead of sitting somewhere doing the same stuff all day -- every day.  And the atmosphere in the display room is great -- free & open & I feel at home there already.  (Odd, since It usually takes me longer than 2 days to get used to new physical surroundings.)  Well, enough about the job....

Brook bought me an aquarium & some fish to keep me company.  A dog would be a responsibility I'm not prepared to accept right now.  Maybe later on.

The fish are really beautiful & I just love watching then.  I can just sit there forever!!  I've even begun  to discern separate personalities among them.  Their traits are most noticeable when they are fed -- especially their aggressive & survival instincts.  I'd like to get some angelfish soon -- maybe in a month.  But, they may be difficult to care for.  I'll have to find out more about them.  They don't go for walks, but....

Last Saturday night, I had some of Brooks' chums over for dinner.  Most of them are single & eat dinner every night at the site cafeteria (where 2 have gotten ptomaine poisoning!), so they were really appreciative of a "home-cooked" meal.  We all had a good time.  I really liked all of them. (I've always been wary of engineers, for some reason -- some of the ones I know at V.U. were such zombies! & seemed to have no soul!)  They were all so different, and interesting.  Brook had told a few that I had Tarot cards & they all wanted their cards read (which was fine with me, since you can find out so much about a person that way.)  They weren't too skeptical, either, as I had suspected they would be.  Anyway, it was fun.  John Taggart told me he might be coming home with Brook a lot in the next few months.  I told him, in that case, I'd have to starting taking a few lessons from the "ptomaine kings" at the site.

Well, that's about all this time.

P.S.  I've got you beat.  I have $1.78 in my piggy bank.

March 1, 1977 (Letter from Grayce)

Your observations were quite lucid, I think.  Of course, that may be due to our thinking running so parallel.  You know, I am such a firm believer in reincarnation, karma, etc. (I find it's the only non-absurd explanation for the suffering of "innocent" people) I take it very much for granted.  Sometimes, I'd like very much for it to be true because it would mean that death would not be final & also that we'd have innumerable chances not only to learn (subconsciously, of course) but also we'd be around for all the exciting things that will happen to man as he evolves (that is, if he doesn't extinguish himself due to greed, etc. first!)

Other times, I think reincarnation is a weary project -- which I suppose is the merciful reason we don't remember past lives consciously, but they do show up in our actions, fears, loves, talents, etc.  (Sometimes, I can't wait to see that guy again -- so I can really dig into his mind -- isn't that terrible -- it sounds so Machiavellian!)

I'm grateful sometimes that my senses are not always so sensitive as they sometimes are.  I'm too apprehensive as it is about things.  (I've read that that could mean that a person has died quite a few violent deaths.)  I seem to pick up a lot of energy from several sources.  Maybe that's one reason I can't sleep soundly.  Brook has been amazed at how easily I wake up from what would be a sound sleep for a lot of others.  Once or twice, I've been asleep & he's just looked in my direction & my eyes are wide open!  I just feel things in my sleep, I guess.

I'm just sitting here in the living room listening to the soundtrack from Barry Lyndon.  I just love it.  There are so many traditional pieces on it -- from so many counties & they mesh amazingly well.  I mean Handel, Vivaldi, Bach, Mozart, Schubert, Paiseillo, not to mention a lot of Irish jigs & fife & drum stuff.  Have you ever heard it?  I'd love you to hear it & think you'd like it.  My favorite piece on the album is Mozart's March from Idomeneo. 

Meanwhile, Brook is studying for his test in Radiation Control.  He graduated from the first phase of the program last Friday & now he's in a more concentrated program which will last only 5 more weeks.  (Thanks be to God!)  He leaves at 5:45 each morning & gets home at 9:30 each night!  (Tonight he came home early because he's TIRED!)  After this, the shift work starts-- can't wait to see what that's like!

I read several of Boostin's things in my first year at Seton Hill.  They were very enlightening, but I don't remember the names of what I read.  I may reread some, if I can get them here.

If you do go to Phila for March, insist on a visit to the Perlman antique toy museum.  It really not to be missed.  I've seen several collections in other places, but never such an extensive or complete one.  (Several floors & really charming!! & also insist on Bookbinder's for a meal.  I don't think you've eaten fish til you've eaten there.  (Especially crab!)  The other fish I've really liked besides (in Phila) was Snookey's Oyster House (a dive, but good oysters) & a few other obscure places that don't even have names, along the waterfront.  I do wish I could give you the tour -- well, maybe someday.

By the way -- speaking of good fish -- if you're every by Sturbridge, Ma, take time for a dinner at the Publick House there.  (Lobster pie -- yum!)  Brook was actually going to drive us up for a weekend before we moved out here just so we could stuff ourselves, but it did get too hectic.  I envy you being near good fish!  There's nothing here but frozen.   (Yech!)  No Italian worth her salt ever eats frozen fish!!  (Unless desperate & I am getting desperate.)  Brook promises we'll catch some this summer, but I probably won't!!  How did I get on this subject?!?

I shoveled quite a lot of snow today.  I kind of enjoy that.  My only complaint about this area we live in is that there's no place to walk to.  I usually walk anyway -- but feel so purposeless about it & it gets boring to just look at houses -- although the mountains do make up for it, I guess.  I'm just used to not having to drive everywhere.  I'll try not to harp on this subject again. 

I'm afraid I scandalized the Avon Lady here.  She came to see if I wanted anything & I told her the last time I bought make-up (besides nail polish which was just a phase, I think) was for the senior prom.  (& I still have it!)

The solitude I experience here every day is doing something to me -- hopefully, something good.  I do feel that it's forcing me to deal with things in myself that should be faced.  I feel growth, but also pain.  I Try not to be dependent, but it's so hard.  Maybe I'll learn how to be alone, but it's a very difficult lesson for me to learn (although I know I should have learned it a long time ago.)  Sometimes, I feel as though I live in a silent film!  (Really.)  Brook wants to get me a pet to keep me company.  I haven't decided what yet.  He hates cats & I don't really want a dog.  (Maybe fish?!)  They'd fit right into the silence!  (Heh, heh.)  Take care.

I really like your introspective letters.

January 23, 1977 (Letter from Grayce)

What I was reading in January 1977

Hi Tweet.  We took a long drive yesterday along some back roads & it was really very beautiful. We had done the same thing in November & it was pretty then, but for me, nothing can really compare with snow-capped mountains.  We have some nice one right near our house, which I always check on as soon as I get awake.  They are different almost every day.  Last night there was a wet atmosphere and the frost formed on everything just glistens.  I can't wait for the sun to come out.  It will really look picturesque then.  It's kind of nice also when it doesn't snow here, but does snow on the mountains.  That's my favorite way for them to look, so far.  It doesn't happen too often, though.  We're fairly high up here -- a little higher than the town part of Pocatello, actually.  This "development" is called the Highland Area.  Today (& yesterday), it's beginning to get more foggy than I've ever seen it here (or anywhere).  I guess the sun won't be coming out.  Y ou can hardly see across the street!  Oh well....

Just went through the Sunday paper (the only one I ever buy & not usually that one, even.)  The want ads are pretty slim pickin's.  There was one exciting sounding job for a beer bar maid -- no experience necessary.  Also, in the personals column (the best part of the paper, in my humble opinion) an ad for a live-in housekeeper -- ages 25-30 -- female -- light work -- call after 6 PM Jack. I read the cars for sale ads, too, sometimes -- but only if I'm really bored!  This same guy has been putting an ad in -- a "must sell in one week" -- 75 Mustang -- for about a month.  Oh, I guess that's enough about Pocatello's classified ads, huh?

Diane says she's definitely coming out -- barring some unforeseen disaster -- but in those disasters, she mentioned airline strikes, along with gas shortages, so I imagine she's not yet decided on how she'll get here.  Bev may be the deciding factor & in her last letter, she told me her next paid vacation is at Christmas.  So...I don't' think she'll want to drive out.   She did say something about taking 1 week without pay -- but certainly not to come out here, I wouldn't think. It would be too expensive & also too much of a bother.  So...I don't really know what's going to happen.

Ange & John just bought a house outside of Southampton, Pa (near Philly) so they'll be postponing their visit til late summer -- possibly early fall.  We're probably going to go to Oregon with them when they get here.  John's family lives there, so we'll have a place to stay.  Willy & Debbie have threatened to camp out on our back yard, but I won't believe it til I can touch them.  They prefer warmer climates & usually go South every year.  My parents have promised a visit in May.  My father wants to drive -- (but I'm hoping he won't).  Anyway, I hope they do come -- but that's another thing I'm not going to hold my breath for!   Brook's parents are now in Florida visiting his sister Pat & her husband Terry.  Also they brought the 2 grandmas!  They will visit us in June, I think.  At least I'm pretty sure about them coming.  Oh well -- I don't really expect every one I know to just come out & visit, but it would be nice!

We're definitely having company for Easter.  Kathy Conaboy & friend (my philosophy major friend from V.U.) will be coming for a week.  I haven't seen her since graduation from V.U. -- so that will certainly be a reunion.  Brook is threatening to move into the Holiday Inn down the road!  He's never had to live in the same house with 2 philosophy majors before!  This is probably boring you to death.  I suppose you've guessed by now that I don't have much to say!

We may be taking skiing lessons starting Feb. 2 -- depending on how expensive they are.  I have to find out tomorrow.  I just can't see myself sliding down a hill like that.  It will be more like tumbling in my case, I'm sure.  If my next letter comes from Bannock County Mem. Hospital, you'll know why!

Oh well -- I'll try to write a longer (& possibly less boring) letter next time.

December 10, 1976 (Note from Grayce)

I'm afraid I didn't get around to the calligraphy I had planned for this year.  Spent too much time on the ornaments could be the reason.  Laziness could also be the reason and a more likely one.  Oh well....maybe next year?

Did you get to visit Longwood Gardens with Diane and Bev as they said you would?  I hope so, but I'm sure they would understand if you couldn't do it financially.

We got an early Christmas gift/late housewarming gift from one of my friends from Villanova who's living in Reno now -- an encyclopedia of the Old West.  It's really a neat book and I've had lots of fun with it so far.  It's called Wild and Woolly and it's by Denis McLoughlin who's British, so reading about the West from his point of view is pretty different!  It's a very un-prosaic encyc., if you'd be interested.

There are 2 guys outside banging on our house.  A few of the pieces of wood trim were slightly warped & they are responsible for 1 y ear.  I have a feeling that this banging will do more harm than good.  They just don't build things the way they used to, I guess!  It's not only the craftsmanship that's not good anymore, it's the materials, too.  They can't wait for the wood to dry properly because of the wood shortages.  Soon, we may all be living in cement structures!  (Or maybe caves again.)  There is a man in this area who has built a cave-like home (it cost him $15,000) & he even has his own energy generator!  But the power company is still going to charge him (even more than when they supplied his power because there's some stupid law about holding power in reserve for people who generate their own!  Individualism may soon be dead in this society, I fear!  It's punished so much!

Well, anyway...we wish you very happy holiday with your family.

November 24, 1976 (Letter from Grayce)

I'm so sorry about the recipes -- we really did like the 2-bean casserole.  Oh well ---"de gustibus non disputandem!"  As you can see, I don't give up easily -- we Taurus people are very stubborn!  If you're willing, my aunt's spinach pie recipe is yummy (I think).  Brook hates spinach & will positively not eat it plain.  Actually, the whole first time I made this pie, he made faces at it & would not even come near it.  There was a lot of low comedy flying around also -- but, when it was finished he did condescend not taste it & he liked it. (He'll never live this down, of course) & now he even asks me to make it!  So do try it, ok?  If mushrooms are as expensive now in  New England as they are here, leave them out.  It's still good without them.

I found this little button & thought it would be perfect for you, in case you eve have an identity crisis, or if your being ever feels denied, or something of that sort!

I do hope you aren't seriously suggesting that I have a "negligible interest at most" in your straitened circumstances!  I really do care, but feel a little helpless about it.  Do you budget yourself?  I suppose you do, but are  you an impulsive spender?  I am, so I know what it's like.  I've been very good lately, though, since I'm not working.  I just tell myself that that money isn't mine. (Actually, I let myself have a certain amount to do the grocery shopping & maybe $10 more each week & whatever I want, I kind of "save" for from week to week.)  It's crazy, I guess, but it feels like the right thing to do, to me.  Maybe you could pretend that a certain amt of your money isn't yours. (Aside from the part that really isn't & save it & then splurge with the money later & buy something special for dinner, or something like that?

How nice that you'll all be together for Christmas.  That's what I usually liked about Christmas, but I haven't spent a Christmas with my own family for 2  years. I kind of miss it.  The other thing I like about it is making things for it -- (which I already told you in another letter).  This year I'm making a wreath out of felt pieces on a styrofoam base. I've cut out everything I want to use -- holly leaves, red berries, mistletoe leaves, white berries, & a few Christmas symbols like a gold star, a few white doves, etc.  It's coming along splendidly!  Also, each year I make a few ornaments for the tree.  The first y ear, I made some wooden ones & painted them.  Last year I made a few clothespin ornaments & then decorate them & varnish them so they'll last.  They also make nice gift tags. I guess I"ll do that next week sometime.  Your calendars sound really nice.  I'm sure everyone will like them better than a boughten gift, and they'll think of you every time they see it!

I'm awfully happy this week -- not that I've been unhappy before -- but I'm especially happy now. Maybe because I'm getting adjusted.  I've actually been sleeping very well, only a very few real trying nights.  I must attribute it to the fact that I'm finally over the frustration of Seton Hill.  (I do still freeze up when I think of that place, though & its atmosphere!)

Speaking of jobs -- you asked what the situation was here.  It's bleak, I won't mince words.  The college here has some prissy rule about 5 years experience for librarians or 2 Masters -- so forget about that place.  I went to talk to the director, but he's a real zombie, so I just smiled politely when he told me he was impressed by my letters of recommendation & then I left after he told me to get another Masters  (at ISU, of course) & definitely he'd hire me then.  Needless to say, I think he's absurd!  The director of the public library is great -- only he has no jobs.  If I get desperate I may volunteer because he's a very progressive person and I know he'd be good to work with.  He was "impressed" too (or so he said).  But he did try to find me something else -- even called people for me, but there isn't anything right now.

I'd like to get a job, because we have a $30,000 mortgage & I'd like to help pay it, but I don't see anything right now.  Brook thinks I shouldn't just take anything, but wait for something good.  (I may be waiting forever, of course.)  I went into the bookstore at the mall & asked about part-time, but of course they just hired some one!  My luck is great.  Anyway, I'm hoping they have a quick turnover, so I left my application.  It would be good experience, I guess, huh?  It's a nice bookstore, too -- has lots of interesting stuff in it.

If I hear of anything, I'll let you know -- but jobs don't exactly stick to me -- especially good ones.

Brook has to stay late at work tonight -- to study confidential stuff.   What a drag.   I'm sure whatever it is isn't that secret.  Oh well.  I have to get him at 10:00, because the night bus stop is about a mile from the regular bus stop.  Yesterday, Brook had me drive on Interstate 15.  I was scared, but it really wasn't that bad.  It was the first time I ever had the car in 4th intentionally.  (I used to put it in 4th instead of 2nd all the time when I first started.)  So now I guess I'm qualified to drive to the airport to pick people up when they come to visit.  (I hope you'll be one of them someday.)

I don't think I told you that the movers broke my loom.  Well, actually it may have been a blessing in disguise.  The guy who came to see the part that was broken is a sheep farmer out in Blackfoot & he asked me to teach him how to spin, so I did & he's going to bring me several pounds a raw wool!   I'm so excited.  He called this morning & will be out this afternoon & will also have my loom piece -- hopefully!

It must be the day for phone calls.  My friend Olga called from California at 6AM.  I guess she was getting ready to go to work. I haven't spoken to her for 2 years!  'twas nice. One of my friends in NY wants me to get a cassette recorder so we can exchange tapes.  I don't' know, though. I think I wouldn't like to speak onto tape as much as I like to write.  Do you?

Oh well, I guess I'm finished talking your ear (eye?) off.  Take care.

November 8, 1976 (Letter from Grayce)

I liked the little picture you sent.  It reminds me of something -- but I'm not sure exactly what.

I just sat down a while ago -- all ready to sew some of the quilt (I had put it away for awhile because I was getting bored with it) and the power died -- maybe this is an omen for me to get out some paper & write to  the 19 people I owe letters to!  What do you think?  It seems to me that the more time I have on my hands, the less I feel like writing to people.  It's true, of course, that nothing exciting happens to me, so maybe I want to spare them (& myself) the boredom of writing about nothing.  You are one of the few "lucky" people who receive letters regularly from me -- I don't suppose you'd like to analyze the reason for this?  I must want to punish you in a terrible, twisted way!  You see, I even started your letter first -- to be sure it got written.  Poor you.

When the electricity goes off (which I hope it doesn't do too often this winter!) you get a chance to realize how much you depend on it -- for good or bad.  For instance -- we're going out to dinner tonight because I won a bet with Brook that he'd get a 95 or over in a test he was worried over.  So, I was planning to get a shower & wash my hair this afternoon.  Not too much to ask, right?  Well, it just occurred to me that the shower will be cold because I used the hot water in the tank to do laundry & I can't possibly dry my hair in time without my hair dryer!  Neat huh?  Therefore, I'll make this letter as long as I can to put off the cold shower.  I can't even heat the bathroom because all our heat is electric.  I'm doomed.  Too bad I never bought any "Psssssst" -- maybe IO will now for these little emergencies.  Maybe I'll try a wheat germ shampoo I hard about?  I don't know, though, suppose I can't get it out?  I'll look like I spent the night in a health food store, or something, maybe the restaurant will be mercifully dark.  Actually, my hair doesn't look dirty -- it just feels to me like it is -- so I guess I can forget it.  How to talk yourself into not worrying about trivia that doesn't seem like trivia at the time.

It's nice that you're using your piano talents again.  Maybe I will get interested again someday. Right now I often pick up my guitar & fool with it.  I don't have a good voice, so I usually only play when no one is around.  (That's pretty often that I get a chance around here.)  I love my guitar.  It was a friend's, but she wanted a Martin, so she sold me her Guild for $80 (she had paid $250 for it or $200, I can't remember which).  It has a lovely sound & keeps me company when I get lonely. It's a right handed guitar, so I had to string it backwards to play it, but it really doesn't make any difference except for the pick guard which is at the top instead of at the bottom -- oh, the hazards of being left-handed -- no wonder the Latins referred to it as sinister!)

On Wednesday, I went to 2 cooking classes sponsored by the Intermountain Gas Company.  One was for french cooking & 1 was for Italian.  I asked my neighbor, Betty, across the street, along, because she doesn't  drive & doesn't get to go many place -- nothing is within walking distance from where we live!  She was so grateful, she took me out to lunch at the Holiday Inn between the classes -- which was awfully nice of her.  We had a really good time -- sampling the results was the best part of the classes -- actually the dishes prepared weren't anything too different from things I make myself, but it was fun anyway.  And the other people there (only about 20) seemed to be very impressed so at least they got a lot out of it.

What do you think about your present situation?  Are y ou going to be looking for a new job soon? It would be great if you could get one out West somewhere, maybe we will get to see each other occasionally, after all.  Brook & I just said the other night we'd like to stay out here for about 5 years.  I hope we can.  Let me know if you apply for anything new.  I'll hope that you find something interesting!

I was surprized to get a letter from Wray last week.  He seemed awfully down in the dumps about his being deposed from his former job as "Asst. to the Dean".  Galvin, it seems, told him he didn't know what he did & whatever it was, it wasn't much!  So Wray told him that he (Galvin) was welcome to do it himself & Wray is now just teaching.  (He said to say hello to you, by the way.) It's kind of sad, because I think Wray really tried, but it seems that that accounts for very little at old GSLIS.  I'll have to try & write a cheerful letter back.

Well, I suppose I'd better get that shower now -- brrr!

October 12, 1976

Don't be too upset with Harriet -- it's difficult for most people to love with an open hand.  Maybe she hasn't noticed your bird-like qualities yet -- (which make such non-handling essential).

How are your gums?  My wisdom teeth have been coming in for 2 years now -- they don't trouble me too much, just once in awhile.  I suppose it would be good to have them looked at again soon. The last time the dentist said they were ok.

About your money situation.  I hope you don't have to sell your car -- it would seem like such a waste, don't you think?   To save on your food budget, maybe you could buy beans in bulk at a great savings/  I'm enclosing some recipes I've come across.  On the ones I've tried I've put comments; on the others, no, it can't be good to eat tuna every night -- not because of anything inherently wrong with tuna, but because it's so full of mercury.  I'd think 2-3 times a week would be ok, though, since it's such a good source of protein, iodine, etc.

In case you're wondering what there 2 swatches of material are -- they're samples of the quilt materials I'm going to use.  It wasn't exactly what I had in mind, but the fabric store here doesn't have the greatest selection.  It will be predominantly the dark brown fabric with patches of the contrasting white fabric.  I hope it comes out ok.  If not I'll have wasted a lot of money on 15 yards of material!!

This little project should keep me busy & out of trouble for a few weeks, at lest!  That & watering the grass seed -- a few little sprouts have shown themselves.  At least I don't look like I'm watering mud every 2 hours like I did 2 weeks ago.  We're wondering how much will grow through, because we had several days of very heavy rain & it probably washed a lot of the seed away (drat!!).  Well, time will tell (to coin a phrase!)



Last weekend, 3 of Brook's friends from the Pgh. Westinghouse were here (the same 3 we went rafting with).  They were sent out on business (monkey business) by Westinghouse & were here for a week.  It was really nice to see some familiar faces for a change.  We all went to Jackson Hole, Wyoming for the weekend.  It was beautiful.  It was off-season so it wasn't at all crowded, which was nice.  We had lunch in this "cowboy bar" in Jackson.  I felt strange because I was the only woman in the place, but it wasn't too bad after I got used to it.  Greg escorted me to the "bar" so we could try out the saddle seats. (I was too chicken to go up by myself.   Brook was busy playing "Tank" & "Stunt Cycle" in the game room!)   What class!  I broke down & played a few games with him later on.  I actually beat him once & tied him once.  Those guys couldn't believe it! (Brook was always the champ back there.)  I told them our idea of a big night on the town is to go to the game place at the mall & spend $5 on these games.  (Very seldom, though.)  I mean, I have to play half decently -- just to keep my self respect, you know?  I'm really bad at bi-plane, though -- I guess I'm just not very coordinated!



We looked at all the ski equipment that town had to offer (much) & I think Brook has been bitten -- he wants to buy (not rent).  Actually, I'm not sure I want to ski.  I'll probably kill myself -- or worse!! I told him I'd much rather spend the money on a good camera.  (John had his camera with him [Canon] & all kinds of lenses & I was jealous!!!)   Looking at all the steep slopes scared me; I couldn't see myself going down them at 70 mph.  (I'm afraid to even drive that fast yet!)  The prices for skiing were no less steep than the hills, though.  I'll probably go at lest once, because I'd feel like I missed out on something if I didn't.

I have to water the "grass" -- I'll be back soon.  A few more sprouts today!  Very encouraging!

I have a tale to tell you about one of my last days in Pittsburgh.  I think it would interest you, because it has to do with space & time travel which you have mentioned an interest in.

Anyway, one day before we left, I was to meet Mary Dodson (my partner in crime from Seton Hill -- the cataloger -- remember her?) at GSLIS & later we were going to have lunch.  I was waiting at the bus stop near our house when this guy came along & what first struck was his amazing resemblance to David Bowie, except that he was a blonde, not a redhead.  Anyway, he also had such a presense "presence" about him.  (There are some words which I never have learned to spell!)  Anyway, I was just sitting on the step waiting for the bus & he came along & sat beside me & amazingly enough he said "I feel that you are interested in thought processes."   I must have looked pretty funny because he laughed & he didn't look like a person who laughed very often.  I told him I was, in a way & that I had studied philosophy.  He wanted to know which phil. I believed in most.  I said existentialism & Kierkegaard's version of it seemed like truth to me.  He seemed not to know who K. was (unless he just wanted to see what I knew about him) & asked me to explain a bit about him.  He seemed happy with my "K in a nutshell" story & said did I ever concern myself with Eastern philosophy.  I said I had liked to mediate & had just started a yoga program on my own.  I thought he was going to cry -- he got every emotional about this (if I wasn't so interested in him I would have run away -- I was a little upset by his reactions).  Then the bus came & we got on.  (The idea of meeting someone like this in Wilkinsburg is a little too much to begin with, no?)  He spoke very quietly on the bus about leaving the body -- actually leaving it, not just mentally.  It seems that he felt he had done it.  He asked if I believed him & I said yes, hoping he'd communicate some secret to me.  I asked him where he was from (he really didn't seem like one of "us" -- I'm not kidding).  He said that wasn't "essential"!  He said he'd see me again sometime & I said I was moving far away & he said "so?"  I'll tell you, it was incredible.  The only person I told was Brook & now you.  I wonder if I'll ever see him again.  He also spoke (& this scared me) of becoming a person in another person's body.  What do you think of all this?  Do you think he was just a nut, or really had some valid system worked out.  He may have been a nut, but I believe that "nuts" really have knowledge that "sane" people don't have.  (I really like this point Lessing makes in her works.)

Anyway -- this letter is incoherent.  I'm trying to write & think above a lot of banging noise in the basement.  We're having a water softener installed because the water her is so hard that is you don't have one, the plumbing has to be re-done every year & we can't look forward to that!  I made this guy keep the cold water tap in the kitchen hard though, because I want to drink & cook with the water that's so calcium & magnesium enriched.  I'm sure he thinks I'm really crazy!

Well, write when you can & take care.