March 1, 1977 (Letter from Grayce)

Your observations were quite lucid, I think.  Of course, that may be due to our thinking running so parallel.  You know, I am such a firm believer in reincarnation, karma, etc. (I find it's the only non-absurd explanation for the suffering of "innocent" people) I take it very much for granted.  Sometimes, I'd like very much for it to be true because it would mean that death would not be final & also that we'd have innumerable chances not only to learn (subconsciously, of course) but also we'd be around for all the exciting things that will happen to man as he evolves (that is, if he doesn't extinguish himself due to greed, etc. first!)

Other times, I think reincarnation is a weary project -- which I suppose is the merciful reason we don't remember past lives consciously, but they do show up in our actions, fears, loves, talents, etc.  (Sometimes, I can't wait to see that guy again -- so I can really dig into his mind -- isn't that terrible -- it sounds so Machiavellian!)

I'm grateful sometimes that my senses are not always so sensitive as they sometimes are.  I'm too apprehensive as it is about things.  (I've read that that could mean that a person has died quite a few violent deaths.)  I seem to pick up a lot of energy from several sources.  Maybe that's one reason I can't sleep soundly.  Brook has been amazed at how easily I wake up from what would be a sound sleep for a lot of others.  Once or twice, I've been asleep & he's just looked in my direction & my eyes are wide open!  I just feel things in my sleep, I guess.

I'm just sitting here in the living room listening to the soundtrack from Barry Lyndon.  I just love it.  There are so many traditional pieces on it -- from so many counties & they mesh amazingly well.  I mean Handel, Vivaldi, Bach, Mozart, Schubert, Paiseillo, not to mention a lot of Irish jigs & fife & drum stuff.  Have you ever heard it?  I'd love you to hear it & think you'd like it.  My favorite piece on the album is Mozart's March from Idomeneo. 

Meanwhile, Brook is studying for his test in Radiation Control.  He graduated from the first phase of the program last Friday & now he's in a more concentrated program which will last only 5 more weeks.  (Thanks be to God!)  He leaves at 5:45 each morning & gets home at 9:30 each night!  (Tonight he came home early because he's TIRED!)  After this, the shift work starts-- can't wait to see what that's like!

I read several of Boostin's things in my first year at Seton Hill.  They were very enlightening, but I don't remember the names of what I read.  I may reread some, if I can get them here.

If you do go to Phila for March, insist on a visit to the Perlman antique toy museum.  It really not to be missed.  I've seen several collections in other places, but never such an extensive or complete one.  (Several floors & really charming!! & also insist on Bookbinder's for a meal.  I don't think you've eaten fish til you've eaten there.  (Especially crab!)  The other fish I've really liked besides (in Phila) was Snookey's Oyster House (a dive, but good oysters) & a few other obscure places that don't even have names, along the waterfront.  I do wish I could give you the tour -- well, maybe someday.

By the way -- speaking of good fish -- if you're every by Sturbridge, Ma, take time for a dinner at the Publick House there.  (Lobster pie -- yum!)  Brook was actually going to drive us up for a weekend before we moved out here just so we could stuff ourselves, but it did get too hectic.  I envy you being near good fish!  There's nothing here but frozen.   (Yech!)  No Italian worth her salt ever eats frozen fish!!  (Unless desperate & I am getting desperate.)  Brook promises we'll catch some this summer, but I probably won't!!  How did I get on this subject?!?

I shoveled quite a lot of snow today.  I kind of enjoy that.  My only complaint about this area we live in is that there's no place to walk to.  I usually walk anyway -- but feel so purposeless about it & it gets boring to just look at houses -- although the mountains do make up for it, I guess.  I'm just used to not having to drive everywhere.  I'll try not to harp on this subject again. 

I'm afraid I scandalized the Avon Lady here.  She came to see if I wanted anything & I told her the last time I bought make-up (besides nail polish which was just a phase, I think) was for the senior prom.  (& I still have it!)

The solitude I experience here every day is doing something to me -- hopefully, something good.  I do feel that it's forcing me to deal with things in myself that should be faced.  I feel growth, but also pain.  I Try not to be dependent, but it's so hard.  Maybe I'll learn how to be alone, but it's a very difficult lesson for me to learn (although I know I should have learned it a long time ago.)  Sometimes, I feel as though I live in a silent film!  (Really.)  Brook wants to get me a pet to keep me company.  I haven't decided what yet.  He hates cats & I don't really want a dog.  (Maybe fish?!)  They'd fit right into the silence!  (Heh, heh.)  Take care.

I really like your introspective letters.