April 26, 1977 (Letter from Grayce)

I'm really happy to hear that you are beginning to appreciate Philly!  It's about time!  Actually, I guess it has to grow on you.  I did have 22 years, didn't I?

Today I got a new sewing machine.  I'm awfully in awe of it still.  It's a Viking 6000 -- with lots of fancy stitches.  Hearts & flowers & xxx's etc. etc.  My other machine cost me $85, 5 years ago & it was all I could possibly afford at the time.  This one costs $800, but it's on sale for $650 -- which is still a lot!  But I decided to really splurge, or rather, Brook decided that I could -- especially, since I do make all my clothes.  I'm sure in a year or 2, it will pay for itself.  It's guaranteed for 30 years, so I imagine I'll have it for at least that long.  (Or my heir will, at least.)  Brook paid the 1/3 for my birthday, and I'm going to pay for the rest with money I make at told old Sears!  When you think of it, you pay $5000 for a car (or less) & it lasts for a few years.  (10 at most.)  So that's my rationale for spending so much on a sewing machine.  Spendo the magnificent LIVES!!!

I've been so busy lately. I always seem to have a surge of energy in April but this is ridiculous -- I've been working at least 3 days/week, sometimes 5.  Next week we have an inspection of our displays by the "big boss" from Salt Lake City, so I've been told I'll work every day til then (except Sunday) from 8 AM to 6 PM & also til 11 or 12 the night before the inspection.  Yech!  I'm not really looking forward to this, but the overtime money won't hurt, I suppose!

Also, Linda (my "boss") is in an art show on May 15th & is going to hire me to do all her matting (which will take about 2 8-hr days).  And then she's talking about us both entering things in a craft fair this summer & I don't have anything prepared for that, at all.  So I guess I'd better start weaving, etc.  If only I could channel my interests into 1 thing right now & complete it.   I feel very scatterbrained about so much -- even about little everyday things.  I don't feel like doing anything routine -- like cleaning.  And as I look around me, this house certainly shows it!  If I were home more, it would bother me to see things out of place, but right now I seem to overlook them very well.  Actually, I can't sit in a place very long -- maybe it's the weather, which has been too gorgeous for words, but I'm ANTSY!!

Lately, even on my few days off, I feel that I have to go somewhere, so I've been walking from our house to the Holiday Inn (2 miles each way) when I feel this way & that calms me down a little. (Or rather, tires me out so I don't feel so crazy!)  I'm hoping to work my way to the 2 1/2-3 mile point each way -- maybe after the inspection this next week.

I'm sure this letter is completely incoherent & I do apologize, but I'll try not to make you read any more of this now, ok?  I promise to be better next time!  If only it would rain once or twice, then I'd feel more settled, I know.

March 1, 1977 (Letter from Grayce)

Your observations were quite lucid, I think.  Of course, that may be due to our thinking running so parallel.  You know, I am such a firm believer in reincarnation, karma, etc. (I find it's the only non-absurd explanation for the suffering of "innocent" people) I take it very much for granted.  Sometimes, I'd like very much for it to be true because it would mean that death would not be final & also that we'd have innumerable chances not only to learn (subconsciously, of course) but also we'd be around for all the exciting things that will happen to man as he evolves (that is, if he doesn't extinguish himself due to greed, etc. first!)

Other times, I think reincarnation is a weary project -- which I suppose is the merciful reason we don't remember past lives consciously, but they do show up in our actions, fears, loves, talents, etc.  (Sometimes, I can't wait to see that guy again -- so I can really dig into his mind -- isn't that terrible -- it sounds so Machiavellian!)

I'm grateful sometimes that my senses are not always so sensitive as they sometimes are.  I'm too apprehensive as it is about things.  (I've read that that could mean that a person has died quite a few violent deaths.)  I seem to pick up a lot of energy from several sources.  Maybe that's one reason I can't sleep soundly.  Brook has been amazed at how easily I wake up from what would be a sound sleep for a lot of others.  Once or twice, I've been asleep & he's just looked in my direction & my eyes are wide open!  I just feel things in my sleep, I guess.

I'm just sitting here in the living room listening to the soundtrack from Barry Lyndon.  I just love it.  There are so many traditional pieces on it -- from so many counties & they mesh amazingly well.  I mean Handel, Vivaldi, Bach, Mozart, Schubert, Paiseillo, not to mention a lot of Irish jigs & fife & drum stuff.  Have you ever heard it?  I'd love you to hear it & think you'd like it.  My favorite piece on the album is Mozart's March from Idomeneo. 

Meanwhile, Brook is studying for his test in Radiation Control.  He graduated from the first phase of the program last Friday & now he's in a more concentrated program which will last only 5 more weeks.  (Thanks be to God!)  He leaves at 5:45 each morning & gets home at 9:30 each night!  (Tonight he came home early because he's TIRED!)  After this, the shift work starts-- can't wait to see what that's like!

I read several of Boostin's things in my first year at Seton Hill.  They were very enlightening, but I don't remember the names of what I read.  I may reread some, if I can get them here.

If you do go to Phila for March, insist on a visit to the Perlman antique toy museum.  It really not to be missed.  I've seen several collections in other places, but never such an extensive or complete one.  (Several floors & really charming!! & also insist on Bookbinder's for a meal.  I don't think you've eaten fish til you've eaten there.  (Especially crab!)  The other fish I've really liked besides (in Phila) was Snookey's Oyster House (a dive, but good oysters) & a few other obscure places that don't even have names, along the waterfront.  I do wish I could give you the tour -- well, maybe someday.

By the way -- speaking of good fish -- if you're every by Sturbridge, Ma, take time for a dinner at the Publick House there.  (Lobster pie -- yum!)  Brook was actually going to drive us up for a weekend before we moved out here just so we could stuff ourselves, but it did get too hectic.  I envy you being near good fish!  There's nothing here but frozen.   (Yech!)  No Italian worth her salt ever eats frozen fish!!  (Unless desperate & I am getting desperate.)  Brook promises we'll catch some this summer, but I probably won't!!  How did I get on this subject?!?

I shoveled quite a lot of snow today.  I kind of enjoy that.  My only complaint about this area we live in is that there's no place to walk to.  I usually walk anyway -- but feel so purposeless about it & it gets boring to just look at houses -- although the mountains do make up for it, I guess.  I'm just used to not having to drive everywhere.  I'll try not to harp on this subject again. 

I'm afraid I scandalized the Avon Lady here.  She came to see if I wanted anything & I told her the last time I bought make-up (besides nail polish which was just a phase, I think) was for the senior prom.  (& I still have it!)

The solitude I experience here every day is doing something to me -- hopefully, something good.  I do feel that it's forcing me to deal with things in myself that should be faced.  I feel growth, but also pain.  I Try not to be dependent, but it's so hard.  Maybe I'll learn how to be alone, but it's a very difficult lesson for me to learn (although I know I should have learned it a long time ago.)  Sometimes, I feel as though I live in a silent film!  (Really.)  Brook wants to get me a pet to keep me company.  I haven't decided what yet.  He hates cats & I don't really want a dog.  (Maybe fish?!)  They'd fit right into the silence!  (Heh, heh.)  Take care.

I really like your introspective letters.

November 29, 1976 (Note from Diane)

In all fairness, I should tell you what you're in for when you come in Dec.  Hopefully, you won't change your mind!  Anyway, some other friends also wanted to see the Brandywine R.M. and the Gardens so I gave everyone a choice of weekends.  They all picked the tenth.  So why not a houseparty, right?  Guests will include Mary Lou and John Repsher, Rosie & Larry Minster and son, and Marsha Irvin.  We'll stop for Bev along the way.  The group includes several library people and yoga enthusiasts.  If this is beginning to sound like a sales job, you're right.  But if it doesn't work & you do change your mind let me know.  If I don't hear anything, I'll expect you on the 10th, weather cooperating.

July 15, 1975 (Letter from Grayce)

Dear Tweet (Polar Bear, Sven, sugar hater, ozone protector...ad nauseum.)

Although I can never hope, in my wildest imaginings, to write you a 30-page letter, one can never tell, I suppose.  Anyway, it will give me something to aspire to (no matter how I try, I always have dangling participles! -- it sounds so false the other way) I must say, though, that I was quite pleased to receive your letter (it brightened an otherwise dreary week in which my emotional state may be typified by the above picture).  I'm so glad we write.  I've gotten some insights that I wouldn't have if we had been talking -- of course, the opposite is also true.  And I hope you can visit.  I don't care when, but you'd better get here!  (That's a request, although, it sounds like an order.)

About the ozone.  Actually, I have been aware of this crusade for quite some time.  I could never use spray deodorants, or anything else for that matter, since they react strangely with my skin, which is probably the strangest of the strange anywhere on the face of the earth.  I think many people have heard of the dangers involved, but they are too lazy to give up convenience items that they have grown accustomed to (another dang. partic!!!)  I mean people are so lazy.  (Me included, of course, but not in this particular instance.)

I seem to have a preference for parentheses, also.  I suppose it indicates lack of foresight, but I don't think it's too serious.

I have a theory about the ozone.  (Paul say, oh, oh!)  I promise to make it short!  Anyway, I always thought that at this time in history people were supposed to mate with people of another skin color, not all at once, of course, but gradually.  And since a medium loss of ozone will only affect white people (if I were a fundamentalist, I might say they deserve this for their past behavior?) then by the time the ill effects start to occur about 25-50 years from now, people will have (ideally) stopped robbing the atmosphere (as Oregon has) and also have started to protect themselves against the ultra-violet rays.  These are just the highlights of the theory, but, as I said, short!

As for your being the holder of two (?only two) such incongruous nicknames, just count yourself extremely lucky if it ends there.  I seem to have this need to tease people.  It's not good and some people must not like it and misunderstand it (although I don't think you are one of these people --= am I right?)  I have one friend that I still call "Chapel" because her nose is so cute.  I can't explain it, though and she's stopped wondering why.  Brook thinks I'm really (and truly) crazy.  When I first met him, it struck me that he hardly ever laughed or smiled.  And once when he did, I was very surprised by it and it didn't seem real so I accidentally said "Bozo" -- not even meaning to, but it just slipped out.  (I suppose because of the "painted on" smile.)  He was very hurt because he thought that I was saying he looked like a clown.  So I really felt badly.  I still have to watch my little nicknames for him.  He's awfully sensitive about things like that. (Of course, he can call me "Mickey Mouse" -- and that's not too bad considering some of the others he's come up with) and I can complain til my ears fold up, but it doesn't  do any good!!!

Anyway, I only nickname people I fell pretty strongly about and, fairly I suppose, since stranger might seek to have me locked up!!!  Do you really think I'm warped?  I ask because sometimes I worry.  Several people have told me I was really "odd".  Brook, in one of his relatively few tactful moods, told me I was a "collector's item".  If even my best friends have told me things to this effect, I can imagine what strangers think.  I really would value your opinion wince I think you know certain aspects of my character pretty well.  I guess you will think I'm weird, but I am very afraid of being "insane" if that would mean being locked up.  Otherwise, I wouldn't mind if I could just be left alone.  I don't think I would ever turn into a violent person and I hope not, anyway!  So don't start ordering my strait-jacket yet.

Well, on to a more pleasant topic.  On July 23rd, Sr. M Ronald leaves for Florida for 2 glorious weeks of vacation!  (For us, also.)  I can't wait.  Unfortunately, she's getting another nun to come in for those 2 weeks (is this pen skipping business contagious, do you think?)  to "watch us" (those are her actual words).  We're not exactly thrilled by this, but she can't be as bad as SM Ronald.

My weekend at home was bittersweet.  As usual, I got to see almost everyone for about 1/2 hour. I only got to see Ange at the "shower" and couldn't really talk there.  She and John got an apt in the Northeast which is an hour and a half away from center city and 2 hrs from my parents house (and that's if there's no bad traffic on I-95).  I know we won't see each other very often.  I am also upset since the people upstairs are moving to New Mexico.  It seems as though as soon as I meet people they leave, am I that bad?  This happened with people at Seton Hill also. I'm sorry; I should not pour these thoughts out to you as often as I do.  I'm sure that this is meant to make me self-sufficient and I just have to grow up!

As for children -- it would seem that they would certainly be nice to have.  I'm not sure though.  I don't want to have them to make me happy.  And I'm not sure that I'd be a good mother. Neither Brook no I fell ready right now so I guess we don't know what the future holds.  I meant to go into depth about this, but I find that I don't have a ting to say.

Anyway, I hope to get to see you soon.

May 12, 1975 (Letter from Diane)

I seem to be breaking all records in neglecting to answer my mail.  But hopefully late is better than never although to be on the safe side, don't' hold your breath.

A lot has been happening  most of which I forgot when I began this letter.  This weekend there was some real excitement in Philly.  Yes, really!  They blocked off the Parkway for a kickoff celebration of the Bicen.  A million and a half people were there, including me.  There were all kinds of activities -- circus acts, theater, dance, music, flea markets, exhibits, a free Blood Sweat and Tears concert and a bubble machine.  And food.  It was a beautiful day and everyone seemed to have a good time.

Sat, one of my friends from PSU who lives in Norristown and I went to Valley Forge.  The dogwood was out and we had a great time wandering around taking pictures   Until we got back to the car and found that Diane had dropped the keys somewhere in the 20 acres of grass and dogwood.  Do you believe Marsha found then 5 mins later?  St. Anthony saved the day again!  Anyway, we saw a wedding couple getting their pictures taken against the dogwood.  With a slightly overcast sky and all those flowering trees, it was a fairy tale setting.

Grayce and I met and "did" the Art Museum right after Easter.  (The museum closed in April and reopens next Feb.)  Very enjoyable.  It really is above comparison, with Carnegie -- at least Carnegie minus Scaiffe Gallery (is that sp right?)  We talked about a bookstore then and later she wrote that you had been thinking of the same thing.  It's an intriguing idea!  Only one problem -- in the next several years, I'll b lucky to have enough money to buy furniture and gasoline,k not to mention capital for a store.  How about a little later?

If you do come East, we can all get together and discuss it.  I hope that you can come and that we can all get together!  Maybe a reunion at the Top of the Triangle.  Or maybe you can overcome your prejudice and visit the Bicen City.  After all, even the Pope will visit here next summer.  You know, your namesake.

Work is overwhelming!  There's so much to do and redo.  And as people learn what a librarian can do, they expect more.  And hopefully, they get it.  However, there's a problem of image.  I told one of the engineers that I disliked beer and he said that's what he'd expect from a librarian.  Grrr!  But seriously, my predecessor (my dict is on the bottom of the shelves and I'm too lazy to get it) was a clerk-aide and everyone assumes that I am, too.  But I will prove eventually -- that only the brilliant and talented can  make it in the library world.

Excuse me -- I'm not feeling well.  Don't do as I do -- do as I say -- Write!

March 9, 1975 (Letter from Sue)

Thanks so much for the Art Deco book and also your long letter!  The more I see of A.D., the more interested I become in the design form.  I like the simple, uncluttered geometric form -- some of the A.D. stuff is really bad kitsch  but other of the general period (and there are so many individual styles) is quite good, I think.

Sorry it's taken me so long to write -- by the way, your letter, mailed either Feb 2 or Feb 9, didn't reach me till Feb 20! -- but I've been on the prowl again.  My work permit was denied for the second time.  This time cause the job I'd been hired for was part-time (such illogic in their logic).  So I decided enough was enough, and decided to scout around in New York and vicinity -- and besides, I was going down to see Kurt and Anne, anyway.

So I contacted the Long Island Library directors whom Elaine had mentioned to me, and set forth. In a week I had 5 interviews, much train travel, and a power-packed personal situation.  (Kurt and Anne split up -- amicably and temporarily -- while I was there and I spent the last weekend of my stay alone with Kurt.)

I also spent a night on L.I. at Elaine's -- met her husband, who put me on the grill for 3 hours regarding my marital situation and why I would leave Bart in Montreal and come to NY alone to live (money is one answer; right to work is a second; being in the land of the free and the home of the brave is a third) -- but he wasn't buying any of that.  The Seatons are really oriented toward nuclear family relationships, though Elaine is very curious about alternate lifestyles, which is why I think we became friends in the first place.  And don't forget, when we first met her she was with Lionel! All in all, I had a very interesting evening chez Seaton and it was great to see Elaine again.  She was somewhat pressured by upcoming budget and also paper deadlines for her management class (she's working toward MBA) but she remained a gracious hostess.  Their lifestyle is nicely unpretentious -- upper-middle class, but compared with other Long Islanders, I'm sure they play it very low-key.  I really don't  know what Bob Seaton does, except that he's a self-made man from Chicago and that he loves plants.  And that he has his own business.

Elaine is one of the very few women library directors around on Long Island -- I met 4 of her colleagues or cohorts (if you prefer) quite a variety   2 were Southern and 2 were N.Y. area 2nd generation Italian.  The Italians and I hit it off best -- and they also had the most interesting -- and wealthy -- libraries.  The Port Washington (P.W. is the East Egg of Gatsby) gave me the best reception -- the director met me at the train station and took me to lunch, as well as giving me a complete tour -- the library is incredible.  Loads of artwork -- very rich (tax base is $23 per capita as compared to usual $5 per cap) and an extensive video facility whereby the community can come in and be trained in video techniques, borrow equipment and make their own tapes.  Very active community program.  P.W., though tres riche, also has a black and P.R. community which is poor -- great economic disparity -- the library is trying to meet these people as well.  The director liked me, I'm fairly sure, but -- no openings at the moment.  Same thing at Great Neck, where the library director, Joe Covino, is very controversial -- very political -- sort of a high class John Forsman in his informality.  He has a special youth facility -- a big room, built on split levels, w/ coke machines, cig machines, paperbacks, lunging areas -- the kids (many blacks, bussed in, as library is situation in "Great Neck Estates") can be alone.  Rather innovative, I thought.  I think either of these men would hire me if they had an opening -- but --

Also went to Levittown (the prototype of suburban living -- designed just after WWII, and an ugly place, in my opinion -- but I don't especially like uniform suburbs).  The director was helpful in giving me leads, but no openings and I wouldn't wanna work there anyway.  Later in the week I went to Phila -- Free Library has a couple of children's openings -- it's civil service there, so I had to take a test -- you get put on a list and depending on your ranking become eligible.  The woman in charge of children's work was very interesting -- about Mrs. Hodges' age, but less formal and somewhat theatrical -- she said she "wanted" me, but all depends on my civil service score.

Saw Janet in Phila -- she seems to be herself -- her library is new and snazzy and is where Marty goes to school, so that's nice.  They have a good apt and seem to be very together except that Marty has to study so much.  It was great to see Janet again -- she always gives me a sense of perspective.

Back to the Big Apple for some exciting nightlife (Black Russians at the Plaza -- the drink, that is, not a Soviet version of George Grant -- thrilled my bourgeois little heart) and then back on up to frozen Quebec.

I am now doing some freelance consultant work for Special Libraries here -- 2 jobs:  one is to set up a small technical library for British Petroleum; I spent a day looking over their stuff and know how I want to organize it -- all I have to do now is write a proposal -- I have as hard a time getting motivated for this as I did for Wendell's papers.  They'll pay me for the time I've spent in their offices, my "research" (I can pad a little, can't I?), and may or may not hire me for 6-8 weeks to actually set the thing up.  It's kinda interesting because it's a challenge to organize, especially in an area about which I know nada (turbo engines are not one of my strong points, needless to say).

The other job I'm doing is weeding an old stuffy, musty and dusty collection in a former T.B. sanitarium!  The best part is that I stay up there during the week in the residence hall -- just me and about 4 over 40 nurses.  (Sorry I can't report on more lascivious surroundings!)  The collection is incredible -- books like "Three Who Dared Escape:  One Family's Incredible Story of POW Life"; "The Purple Rose:  Cynthia's Love and Adventure in the Peruvian Mountains" (Peru and N.Y. cafe society are big in the romance-adventure genre) and "The Jap Menace".  I'm dumping about half of what they have -- but I become so fascinated I start reading half the books -- some good escapist froth.  I don't think they have one book written after 1962 -- and few after 1955.  No talking or large print books.  The sanitarium is in the Laurentian mountains, so it's very snowy and beautiful -- I fell like a character from Thomas Mann (or maybe "Sue Barton, Student Nurse").

All in all, life has become a bit more varied.  I do plan to go to N.Y. again (I fear I'm addicted) when I finish these jobs.  I would like to live in the U.S. -- I'm sure of that.

So, my dear, you are now "au courant".  And you?  Are you bearing up under the Montana winter? Good you've found some diversion in the name of Debbie.  And Barb arrives when?  Don't worry, these situations, messy as they seem in contemplation, tend to work themselves out in the reality of the moment.  Do you think Debbie feels involved (seriously so) with you?  The main thing, I think, is not to allow the woman to feel used.  Words of wisdom from the woman of experience (jestfully speaking, of course).

It's too bad you are movie-isolated.  It would be very frustrating.  The carving for the visual experience of film can be an addition, especially if you've been cut off.  The latest I've seen is Scorcese's Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore -- I'm sure you've read Pauline's review -- and it is a terrific movie, all in all!  Quite a breakthrough, in terms of being from a woman's point of view.  I'm not thrilled about the ending, but overall I think the delineation of Ellyn Burstyn's relationship to her son (brilliant performance by Alfred Lutter), her job, the women she works with, are stupendous. Really a portrait of how a woman handles herself -- I think Scorcese will be as good (if not better) than Altman someday.  He has a tremendous sense of place -- his New York in Mean Streets and his SW USA (New Mexico and Arizona, with a very surreal-kitschy Monterey in the beginning, providing a nice backdrop of memory for the central character )( are just right-on.

Yes, I have seen Calif Split -- excellent.  Compare it with the Redford-Newman films (similar in the sense of male camaraderie) and the Gould-Segal duo has far more depth.  Would like to see it again -- I may not have fully appreciated it the first viewing.  The Long Goodbye, though, I feel is a masterpiece particularly if you are familiar w/ Raymond Chandler's book.  Altman says Chandler fans hate T.L.G., because it shatters the concept of the romantic loner -- but I think (and I am a Chandler Fan) the film is brilliant in bringing the 50's book up to the 70's.  What Scorcese does for place, Altman does for time -- he captures the essence of a period.  Both are uniquely American directors I feel.

Glad you found the Fennario book at least of interest.  He is now a playwright in residence for the major English-speaking theater in Montreal.  The book probably had a greater impact for me than for you because of the description of Montreal life.  I'm sure you've finished it by now -- give me a final review.

Hope you're continuing seriously with your writing.  I think you've got something going there -- and should ultimately try for publication.  (Just a thought:  have you thought of submitting some sort of "journal of a prison libn." to LJ or WLB?  Or does that interest you?)  If you ever have some material you'd like to have someone else read or critique, I'd be very glad to.

Well, my dear -- must try to whip off some sort of proposal for setup of a small technical library. How thrilling.  But my philosophy is -- get while you can!  ($, that is.)

Do write soon and let me know how all is in your "beautiful but backward state".

P.S.  Some gossip (which may be confidential, so beware, a slip of the lip may sink a ship, or something.)  Received a letter from Carmelle who recently had an abortion (she hasn't used any B.C. of any sort for the last 2  years -- never got pregnant, so thought she never could) she's come out of it fine. She's also working as a sub school libn, which is good, and jetting around to Acapulco and New Orleans with her new beau -- and presumably now using B.C.

December 28, 1974 (Postcard from Grayce)

Greetings from Philadelphia!  (See, we have a few polar bears, too!)  I just popped in to see my family for a few days and since it's quite like a vacation, I thought I'd send you a post card a la touriste!  This is one of my favorite places and the pictures just doesn't do it any justice.  A very happy new year.

October 4, 1974 (Letter from Grayce)

Let me begin by answering your questions...(and let you begin by feeling the proper guilt for not having answered all of mine!) -- actually, I'm only jesting -- although I would be quite pleased if only you could tell me your opinion about fate (please?!?).  I know I am a terrible pest (mea culpa, etc.), but if only the kind gentle man (may I sop here and tell you -- yes I do have some point to make, only wait a few more seconds...) what a perfectly (oh well, almost perfectly, I supposed no one is really perfect -- I mean within reason) kind and thoughtful  person you are to take an interest in that woman.  This is the kind of thing you can't say in person very well, so I'm  happy that I can write it.  (Sorry to be writing on the wrong side of this, but what with the paper shortage )

So anyway, please comply (or be pestered completely!  (abt. fate, I mean).

Now (finally and with no more ado!) your questions:  1) tete-a-tete; 2) no, you did not tell me why Pgh was a fantasyland for you.  Why?; 3) no, I never (hardly ever, maybe) capitalize library science -- which brings me to the next question -- #4 ("What is your actual opinion of library science as a career? Be truthful now.")

Let me ask you if you have ever read Plato's Republic?  In it there is a discussion of the real and the unreal.  Plato feels that for each thing on earth there is some perfection which is being imitated.  (i.e.) If there is a chair on earth it is really only a chair, while the chair (or chairness) is somewhere else and being the only perfect chair nothing matches it -- although all good chairs aspire (to different degrees, naturally).  These perfections are form (essential forms of goodness).

Now -- he tells an allegory of a cave into which prisoners are taken (that's us Tweet).  They are forced to sit facing one of the walls.  In back of them (and they can never turn around) there is a "stage" where things and people can be.  They can move and be moved.  No -- I'm sorry.  The people and things are actually in front of the prisoners, but it happens that they are hidden from the prisoners by a roaring fire which comes between the 2 groups.  

Naturally, the fire casts a shadow of the people and things behind it onto  the wall which the prisoners face.  They see only the image and not the real and the recognize the image as the reality.

If they were released from those chains it would perplex them to be confronted with reality.  It would be painful, but it would be "worth it" since they would experience wisdom.

The last thing to be perceived in the world of knowledge is the essential form of goodness (true reality).  Without this, wisdom is not possible, so it is necessary to detach appearances and reality.

Therefore -- library science seems fit to relegate to the realm of the image (the shadow  rather than being anything real.  It appears to be a passive, menial "profession" with very little to offer one who wants to perform a real function.  It does not seem to be the type of work an activist could be attached to, being so staid and dry.

We -- as librarians -- are confined, it seems to me that we realized this before though, if not consciously, then at least in a small subconscious way.  We just hoped for more, you know?  I suppose to finish the comparison, we are kept from really doing (as the prisoners are kept from really seeing).  If we were given a chance to act maybe we wouldn't be up to accepting it -- or maybe we just wouldn't know what to do.

It would further seem that we could free ourselves but that this would involve hardship ($ not mental) and also what else would we do?

I don't know if this makes any sense at all, really.  At this point I'm hardly the person who would be stable enough to see anything like this clearly and you are probably all ready to have me escorted (white jackets, etc.) to the nearest looney bin.

I suppose my job is not too bad.  It is very hectic and I'm not exactly bored.  But by exactly bored I mean that it's frustrating in many ways.  It certainly is a far cry from what I've ever had planned as a lifework for myself.  I sometimes just stop and wonder just what the hell I'm doing at that place where nuns and only other women abound (I like to talk to men once in awhile and I'm sick of hearing about the guys at Vincent's - Seton Hill's brother school).  Every girl at Seton Hill dates someone from Vincent's -- how quaint! how parochial!!

Seton Hill is a cookie factory -- where almost (I have met some very interesting people) everyone is awfully similar.  It's just depressing   It is also a place where not to much (or no) independent or creative thought of any kind is appreciated.  (Do you know that I stapled something in an "unorthodox" way and had to remove all the stuff I did and change it.  I mean how mundane can you get?)  Also I am in charge of reserves which is a realllll pain (and not only an apparent one!)

I certainly sound mean.  I do the vertical file (subject headings, acquisitions, etc.) which I enjoy but hardly ever get to touch because of "priorities".  I also "do" the picture collection which I have never done 'cause of the above.

Also (last but certainly not least) I do the library statistics!  (And nI am not so good at it, either!) and I get to copy them all very neatly into a ledger -- a real scrivener!

(Ah Bartleby!  Ah, humanity!

I'm certainly being good company, well -- anyway, Bev seems quite thrilled about her job, so I suppose there's some good in it.  She (and you, too) are at least on your own.  Although I shouldn't complain 'cause I'm definitely learning something from the 2 people I work with.  (If it's of value remains to be seen,m of course!)

I don't know, I just hope things turn out all right.  (That's the trouble with being brought up Catholic -- always hoping for miracles.  Maybe I should move to New York and hang around 34th Street?)

This week has been been going pretty well -- actually (and surprisingly).  Yesterday, I got to see Diane (who had an interview at the Phila Customs House where I used to work!) for dinner.  It was so nice, almost like old times.  She is staying with Bev in Delaware.   (Bev works at Delaware State Hosp.)  It would really be nice if Diane got this job.  I hope she does; it's really a neat place to be.  Only 1 block from the wharfs -- really picturesque.  Also, she wants to be near home but not too near, so this would fit in.

I took the bus home (horrors!) on Wed.  I met the most intriguing person.  This guy from London who was traveling across America by thumb and by bus.  Her certainly was nice and we talked (nonstop) for seven hours.  When Phila came, (he was going to N.Y.) we had dinner and I felt as though I were leaving an old friend when we kissed goodbye.  It was very strange, but very nice.  He said that parts of my Philadelphia accent were borrowed from very high class (snobby) English, and he was amazed that he was hearing this in America.  (Imagine that!)  I suppose I shall have to tone that down!  (If I ever went to England it wouldn't help because I could never be mistaken for class!)

I think we've miscommunicated about perceiving what others really feel and think.  I do believe it can be done and I feel I often do it, but I wonder if what we think is the subconscious thought or feeling which we are viewing is really only another coverup.  Or a calculated thing?

That's really what made me take up reading cards.  Not so much to inform the other person of himself, but often to inform myself about the other person.  There are insights to be gotten from not only the information the cards give, but also the reactions the person has to what the card say.   These insights are not otherwise readily available for view in any form, let alone a form so easily discernible.

What? -- oh, never mind;  it's a vicious circle.

Right now I am very happy about the wedding and I thank you for you good wishes.  I'm most excited about going to New England this week because I know it will be gorgeous.  I'm sorry to go on about this but It's the only thing (violins, softly  which I have had to look forward to for the past few months.

Please do send me come smpale of your writing if you wish to, ok?  I would like it very much.  Take care now.

P.S.  I haven't seen Kate or spoken to her.  Everytime I call her she seems to be out.  I will say "hello" to her for you when I finally do get to see her.

February 15, 1974 (Letter from Kenny)

Sorry it's been so long since I wrote but as per usual, I've been pretty busy.  I can't seem to find your last letter but I remember distinctly being quite surprised at several things. I didn't know Mardi was married and I was even more shocked to find out that she didn't marry that guy from Minneapolis.  Also I was mildly surprised to find  out Joe and Mary are going to have another kid.  It must have been good to see them though; right now I can't even remember that last time I saw Poskanzer -- probably just before graduation.  I always thought that he was going to Florida or something -- I just don't know how he can afford to support a fairly on a salary that can't be that tremendous.  In any event I hope everything works out for them.

How's things going for you?  How's school and Pittsburgh?  When are you going to be finished?  Things in Phila are about the same -- gang killings etc.  Lauren is still going to school and will be going straight thru the summer at which time she'll be done.  She's been applying for teaching positions for next September and we're pretty optimistic.  School has been shitty as usual, I'm taking 2 Wharton courses this semester which I thought would make things easier.  1 is pretty easy but the other one is killing me because stupid me took it out of sequence and I can't drop it because of very strict credit per year requirements.  So naturally things aren't going too well on that front.

I've pretty much decided to let go of any ideas that some high class job for the summer.  I figure I'll do shit-ass research for a professor for $2.50/hr and maybe take 1 or 2 Wharton courses.  I guess things could be worse.  In a way I'm kind of looking forward to it -- I've never gone to summer school before.

Speaking of Wharton (that's funny I didn't know we were) Herbie might be going next year.  He got in and he's seriously considering it.  Imagine that, little Herbie going to graduate school.

How's your social life going?  Anything to do in Pittsburgh besides cheer for Pitt's basketball team.  I hope so for you sake because you definitely aren't getting any younger and besides someone told me it helps your skin clear up!

I'm going home next weekend for one of Lauren's friend's husband's party (a lot of possessives and I lost track).  We haven't been home since Christmas so it should be pretty good.  Oh yeah, my mother bought a condominium in Florida recently (somehow my grammatical structure leaves something to be desired).  She is going to rent it out on a permanent basis for about 4 yrs until she's ready to move down there.  She bought it now to preserve the low price for the future, which is pretty smart I must confess. So in any event in the future we'll have a place to go free in Florida.  What are your summer plans?  I figure you should be about ready to go continent -hopping now that you've covered this country.  So let me know what's going on.

Got to go now, so take it easy and write back.

October 8, 1973 (Letter from Kenny)

Kenny and Lauren's wedding

Clockwise from lower right

Herb Kleinberger, Tony Szczygiel, Eric Barr, Paul Nelson, Kenny Tuchman

I don't have much time, but I wanted to get a note off to you.  I'm really glad to hear that things are going so well for you in "the Burg" (as I'm told Pittsburgh is referred to).

It was really great seeing you and Tony at the wedding and it's too bad you couldn't have come in a couple of days earlier so I could have talked to you both.  Anyhow, things are going pretty well here for the Tuchmans in Philadelphia.  School sucks of course for me and even Lauren doesn't like her school but elsewise (strange word "elsewise") it's OK.  I'm not as pressured this year because I just don't give a shit.  All of these firms are coming down to interview for summer jobs and it is unquestionably the biggest pain in the ass.  I hate having to act so phony with them and also I don't graduate till '76 so they're not interested in me until next yr and they pretty much come out and tell me so in the interview.  The salaries they offer are outrageous ($300/wk for summer, $18,000/yr full time) but I'm fairly certain I'll be working for $3/hr somewhere licking stamps or something equally exciting.  Sorry if I sound cynical but these interviews really get me down.  It looks as though Lauren will be going to school thru the summer so I'm looking primarily in Philly although if I get a job in NY and nowhere else I'll take it.

I guess Herb must have told you about Chris calling him.  It was really weird.  When Herb told me that Chris asked about my wedding, I really felt bad.  I wanted to invite him for old times sake (and all that shit) and all he had to do was make an effort to call or anything.  Anyhow, Chris must have mentioned that he was thinking of getting married.  Maybe that's why he contacted Herb after such a long time.  What do you think?  Have you communicated with Chris?

How's the little Polish kid out in sunny Calif?  Send me his address.  My aunt just moved to California from Wantagh and several other people I know are contemplating the move.  I really want to get out there one of these days and be just like you -- a man of ALL places (at least in this country). 

Oh yeah, Puerto Rico was really nice and Lauren and I had a great time.  We didnt' do much sightseeing although we did go to St. Thomas for a day.  We flew back from St. Thomas to San Juan on a 10 passenger plane -- I almost shit in my pants.  We got about $100 worth of liquor for $30 and cigarettes only $1.50/carton!! Beyond that however, nothing was a great bargain.

Oh well I'd better go for now.  Write soon and send me your phone #.  Also I would really like a copy of those pictures you took of you, me, Herb, and Tony at the wedding.

Enough said, take care of yourself and remember your Dewey Decimals.

July 4, 1972 (Letter from Herb)

Happy Independence day.  Quite a bit has happened to me since I wrote lst.  I won the title of "King Beater of the Peter" yesterday -- 17 times in 1 hour -- how about that.  Yeah, things are still pretty lonely -- it's really bumming me out -- I can't meet a soul.  When I'm working I'm fine but when I come home, I talk to myself.  I can't even sit in a bar -- this fuckin state of yours is archaic when it comes to drinkin laws.

But for a change I had a good weekend.  Bob Dorin and Debbie Kuznitz got married Saturday night.  So Friday I took off for Philadelphia airport -- left my car in the lot -- (left my keys in the car) -- and got on my plane to Buffalo.  The part about locking my keys in my car is a sad truth.  I was in such a fuckin hurry that I ust locked them in.  Anyhow Friday night I stayed with Wienkowski.  Then on Saturday I got a lift with Richie Belgard (RedBeard) to Syracuse.  The wedding was great -- we got stoned 1st in our hotel room.  Then we got drunk at the wedding -- by 5 in the mornig everyone had settled down to their own beds.  It was quite an evening.  Sunday we headed back to Buffalo -- I stayed with Wienkowski again.  And Monday morning I was back in Philly.  Luckily I was able to break into my VW with a hanger.  Oh, I tried calling Tony while I was in Buffalo, but no one was home.  I got a letter from him -- things are going well -- he shold have written you by now.

Otherwise things are well -- I'm heading to NYC next weekend -- it's the weekends that are the worst here -- so I try to keep on the move.  But you can't do that forver -- something's gotta happen -- keep on writing.  I really dig your letters.  Take care.  Keep on truckin'.