September 25, 1976 (Letter from Barb N.)

Hello.  I thought I would only write to Larry, but I enjoyed your letter (which I just finished reading) so much I had to reply while your thoughts are still fresh in my mind.

I got back from the Oktoberfest this morning & I am happy to be home for now.  I am going to try and tell you of my highlights of my journey to Munchen.

Doobie, Dean, and Frank, and I left Naples last Friday and caught our train to Rome which left at 2330.  We slept in a couchette which is a compartment with six pull down-or-up beds.  We met Nola and Eric on the train who seemed to have their problems with finding a bed.  They were all "fucked up" both verbally and otherwise.  Finally they got a bed and Eric had a bowl before he went to sleep. That was the beginning of our party.

In the morning we were abruptly awoken and told to get off the train.  Nola found out that there was a strike at Trento.  So we loaded up our belonging into a bus and headed for the Austrian border.  It was well worth the bus trip and two hour delay from our schedule just to see the scenery. Southern Italy is so old and rugged looking while northern Italy through Austria and Germany is filled with green pastures and soaring mountains.  I really got off on the view and fresh, chilly air.

The first nite at the fest we took it easy and only had two beers.  (each beer is a liter mug.)  We were feeling fine by the end of the nite.

The second nite we went to see Graham Nash and David Crosby in concert.  I will never regret going to that concert in all my life!  They plays all their goodies including songs from CSNY.  But the end of the concert put me on a cloud for a good 15 minutes.  They left before their encore and the crowed went wild for them.  They came back to sing "Chicago" and "Teach Your Children". When you get to the part "Don't you ever ask them why if they told you you would cry so just look at them and sign and know they love you"  the band stopped singing and the audience took over and did an outstanding job.  I was singing my heart out.  I know my soul was tingling.  God -- it was great!

The next two nites at the "O" fest were really wild.  We liked the Haufbrau tent the best since most of the people were our age.  All the happy drunks were singing and tasting while the band played polkas, etc.  I managed to drink four liters of good German beer.  Beer like you'll never taste in the states.  I enjoyed myself so much.

The last nite Doobie and I went to Innsbruck Austria for the day.  Basically we went shopping through the town.  I took slides of Germany and Austria so I will show them up at the lake next summer.

Munchen's transportation system was very impressive.  I can say they have their shit together.  It's all so new and immaculate.

Munchen is my favorite city for many reasons.  I love the German people there.  The city is very flat and good for a bike.  In the squares with the shops you see a lot of one-two-three man acts trying to get money.  One guy was playing bagpipes and had his quit-sneaker outfit.  I also saw some good guitar acts.  One guy was playing the bongos.  But the German people took a delight in watching these people.  It was all so refreshing.

I want to get involved in yoga.  I have been doing it on and off for a year now not accomplishing too much for myself.  I find breathing properly is very relaxing.  But I'm still an upright person with too many worries.  (I worry over what people think of me and that is the worst way to be but I find myself thinking of the other persons nasty remarks and I get scared -- stupid!)   Now I am going to try and calm myself for my own well being.

I'm going to bed so I'll finish this letter in the morning.

Good morning.

Continuing with yoga, I am going to sign up for a class next month.  It might help me more to speak with people who know yoga better than myself.

Now that I am back I am going to be better to myself.  I hope to relax and take in my surroundings at a restful pace.  Yoga should be the key to my well-being.  I hope it will stimulate me in all aspects.  So I hope to be on the right path now.

I would like a good camera also.  I might buy a friend's camera.  It's a Canon but I don't know the model.  Mike is into photography and he prefers another model where he can do more of his own setting with the camera.

I plan to sell my guitar and buy another model.  I am getting pretty involved in playing.  I enjoy it so much.  Hopefully next summer I will be able to play a few times at the lake.

Paul I want to put in for an early out for school.  I'd like to go to school for one or two semesters then go to Sweden with Larry.  But I'm not sure what direction is best for me.  I feel I need some education because I want to learn but I would like to go to a vocational for a skill.  I am still considering nursing.  If I can go for two years I would have some training that I could use if I didn't go all the way.  I could always work at a head start program.  Do you have an opinion or suggestions of schools?

I'm glad Dale is finally going to school.  I'm sure he will do well.  This is the beginning of Dale's own life.  Another steps towards his own being.

I had a good talk with Laura, my roommate, last nite.  We both look toward living as bounded by God's glory.  I am trying to understand the philosophy of his love but when I reach him I will find my peace.  Laura was predicting part of the future she sees for me.  I felt clouded as if in a vision when she spoke.  But today I must remain myself striving to live life with feelings that change like the wind.

I will end here for now.

January 3, 1974 (Letter from Leslie)

Greetings. I'm sitting on the train on my way to the Big Apple.  Decided to take the train because I'm sick of the bus and actually the train is much more comfortable. The ride feels much like floating, but still not easy to write. The new train station is across the river from the old one. Needless to say, the old one has much more class and elegance, the new one is just functional. I got on at the little boxy station in Colonie, the stop before Albany, and am very glad as there was a mess of people waiting to get on.  I just felt the bump of another car being hitched so maybe it won't be too bad -- so far nobody is sitting next to me.

Being gifted with hindsight and shyness and after thinking about your visit (still thinking is more appropriate) I've decided to write and make some comments, not necessarily in the proper order. Also this letter is not meant to be fawning as I am upset and annoyed at y our own pussyfooting and should have expressed this while you were here.  I checked complacence in the dictionary and fawning or subservience is the better word.

Referring back to your last letter I remember your saying that you wanted to talk to me about our relationship and smooth it out yet the only time you offered any discussion of it is when I asked you about it and then I had to ask again to get some reason behind your thinking and then I find out it is none of this bull shit you have been feeding me about being a loner, but it is this subservience if this is the honest answer.

I admit to this but failed to mention your habit of acting like a hot and cold running faucet -- sometimes you are warm and nice and I feel close to you and other times you close yourself, do not give any positive feedback and I am given no indication as to what has happened this time. Since I am not the type who keeps asking what is wrong, I do not say anything except ask you those "trivia" questions which I finally found out that you dislike.

Also you hoped to find this trait gone by the changing of environments (Buffalo, Pitt, my home) but were disappointed.  Frankly I was disappointed too, to find you acting in the same way you always did.    Neither one of us realized that our actions were more reactions.  I had hoped that you would be more responsive than you were.  The problem seems to be our mutual reticence about discussing what is really bothering us, therefore letting things build up.  We have serious communication problems about what our individual needs are and still hardly know how the other is.

At this point it is difficult for us to be friends who trust one another.

Also in regards to the remark that even though you care very much for Tony you were still glad to be away from him after the trip, I think it is highly improbable that you will ever find a person who you will not get tired of at one time or another.  The better and stronger the relationship is, the more you will be able to pass through these periods without harming the relationship and as far as my life experience goes and tells me, that's the best you can do. 

Despite the games we have been playing, I do care for you health, welfare, and being and want to know what is happening with you.  I hope, for you, that your desire to write continues.