January 27, 1975 (Letter from Grayce)

Enclosed, pleased find 7 (1-cent) stamps which you have received as a prize for out-witting the U.S. Postal Service!  (Actually, only 6, since one was partially canceled out and I did not notice it until now.)  I suggest Elmer's glue for these, or clear rubber cement.  Notice -- there is a $300 fine for doing this (I doubt that it's ever been enforced, though.)

Enclosed, also, please find a sweet little bird which made me think of you, Tweet.  I just loved the muted tones and colors and thought you might, too.  Sorry I had to fold him up, but if you want, you can iron him (very lightly).

The idea of talking to you seems a very exciting prospect but I must, in good conscience  dissuade you from such an un-Spartan-like use of your sheckels!  Now that my conscience has been assuaged... Actually, I'm afraid to have you spend all that money money when I will not have anything worthwhile to say.  (like last time!)

Someone's on the phone..excuse...It was Brook's mom.  She wants me to go with her to the bank and deposit $50 in our savings account so she can get another free silverware serving.  So, first I have to get a $50 check cashed.  Myeer!  I'll be back in about 2 hrs.

Hello, again!  Here I am, back from my jaunt.

Anyhow -- if you do decide to call, I suppose you should know when I won't be home.  So these are my hours.  I work every other weekend (Sat 9-4 and Sun 1-10) and on these days am away from home (Sat 7:30-6:00, Sunday 11:15 to 11:00).  On weekends when I work, I have the Friday and Monday around them off.  I work every Tues, Wed, and Thurs.  My Thurs hours are the same as when I work on Saturdays and on Tues I work from 1-10 (out from 11:15 to 11:00) on Wednesday (praise the Lord!) I don't have to be in until 3:40 so I leave at 3 o'clock.

Now that you have absolutely no idea of what I'm talking about, I suppose I'll stop.  Out of this entire nonsense paragraph, I feel that since you are off on Wed that would be a good day to call. Let me know if and when you decide to so I will be here and not at Murphy's or something.

I agree with you about being able to concentrate on things that you want to happen.  It seems just a matter of mind and will.  I have done that a few times, but I usually do it only for things that I feel are extremely important -- i.e., will affect my life completely -- all facets.  Maybe you'll think I'm crazy, but I feel that this type of relationship between mind and will is one of the rep-requisites for gaining perfection in prayer.  I never could believe that if God were God as we know Him -- that this all-perfect force in the Universe, could be used as a pawn merely by our imperfect and feeble intercessions.  What a disappointment I would feel if He were like that!

Rather, I feel that He (if a force can be personal) "wants" us to meditate in order to direct all of our potential energy towards what we need to become.  Our concentration in such matters serves to motivate us -- even if only in attitude and expectancy -- to do that which we want.  I believe in man's total free will but of course, since I also believe in fate, I think that the "love" of this force guides us into situations where we can be most useful.  And, if we don't make the best of them, then we are unhappy within ourselves.  I know that there are many external causes of unhappiness but I attribute them to a lack in others, which is re-directed back to the people around then, i.e., someones hates an ex-con because he fears him.  This fear produces the hate because the person lacks -- not only an assurance within himself that someone guides the Universe (for better or worse) and maybe puts him here for a reason but he also lacks the will and the spiritual resources to cope with a situation which may be difficult for anyone, but especially difficult for the person of impoverished ideas.  He lacks every desire to take up his responsibility for the rest of men and if the whole of mankind doesn't cooperate in this enterprise -- the eternal unhappiness increases in proportion to the decrease of men willing to be truly free and responsible.  The internal happiness or unhappiness we feel, then is inherently attached to the external and one must always affect the other in some respect.  -(depending on how much the person wishes to admit that they are connected).  Most people won't.  They think they are separate and can exist freely separately.  This seems ludicrous to me.

Of course, Grayce is very good in the talk department, but she doesn't always cut the mustard in deed.  Actually, I'm trying to reconcile the philosophies of Kierkegaard and Sartre, and to come up with a livable ethical code which will also allow for me to believe in a God -- of some kind, anyway, -- this is very nearly impossible, but never let it be said that I did no try!

Wake up!  Paulie!  I promise to come down now.  I think I actually miss having a philosophy course or two to push my thoughts around.  You should be very grateful that I also write to Rich Miller and that he gets the bulk of this, because if it weren't  for him I'd be assembling all this stuff on you!  (I daren't write to many people about this because my sanity is none too well thought of and I wouldn't like to risk having to be committed!)  At least, Rich writes his mutterings back to me and we share equally the burden of boredom.

Now -- to go from the sublime to the ridiculous -- the weather her has been absolutely mad!  One day it's 70 and the next day it snows.  I may start believing that the end is near pretty soon if some rhyme or reason does not show its face.

Unfortunately, I had to work the Sunday of the Super Bowl and you can be certain that here was no orgy at Seton Hill!

Well, I guess this is enough torture for one letter for you.  Take care.