March 21, 1977 (Letter from Barb N)

...a total disaster. Bad acting, atrocious screenplay, uninspired photography, terrible direction.


Hello.

I'm finally getting time to write between my stages of depression and spurts of constructive work and play.  At least I'm to the point where I understand myself and my bodily needs.  Now I need to learn self-control through self-restraint.  It isn't all that easy for me because I always get such a low feeling inside.  Today I was talking to Evelyn and the feeling of despair became very intense so I knew that I could only overcome the feeling my altering my state of mind.  So the rest of the afternoon and the evening are spent baking break, sewing, writing letters, and cleaning out my junk.

I almost got myself into a friendship that would have led me astray.  Fortunately she has been very blunt to me and I have found that her insults have directed me back on my own path.  I can take a few put downs if there are helpful but Sam is a pain in the ass.  I fell relieved that I'm not around her except there are two problems.  I work with her and she is Darrel & my houseguest for the moment.  I'm sure the situation will improve shortly.

I have only eight months left in the Navy and I feel that it is still too long for me.  I am so happy that I only have two seasons left.

Max is in Ventura, California by herself.  Jeff went back to Warren to get a motorcycle and some money.  Max said she didn't have a job from her last letter but that was a week or so ago.

I should go do some more yoga.

Not much news in Italy.  I will write more when I am in a better state of mind and have more time.

May 24, 1976 (Letter from Barb N.)

Hello.  How are you?

I'm trying to get a few letters off to friends and family.  I feel I should have a ditto machine.

I was told the legend of Saint Gemano (?) when I first got here.  On the way to work I pass by the spot where he was beheaded.  It goes that he was beheaded on a hill on where his head stopped rolling they built a church.  I don't know when he lived but they must have kept his blood and somehow the legend of the blood liquefying got started.  I was told the last time his blood didn't liquefy was three years ago they had a cholera epidemic.  The time before was World War II.  The blood is taken from a vault twice a y ear for a week and within that time if the blood liquefies Naples is safe.  Supposedly the worst tragedy happens when the blood does not liquefy in May.  Now for my opinion of this legend   It's hard to say yes or no to the tale.  I do believe there is a great possibility of bad tragedy for Naples judging from the bad times in Italy.   It seems in order to awaken people and get them back on their feet a shattering experience revives people to their senses.  I pray for good because I don't want to see a tragedy while I'm here.  But the course of the world isn't leading mankind through a period of joy at this moment.  Man has abused nature to the max and she is fighting back now.  I have to blame all of mankind for the sate of the world.  It's not just the leaders who have lead us stray.  What about the individuals who let it happen?  Anyone who believes we have easy times ahead is living with their head in the ground.  I don't want to look ahead with a pessimistic attitude but I've read too many signs that have come about now.  I'd like to deny it and say what I know is wrong but I don't  think so.  It could be another cycle in history but mankind is spread out to all corners of the earth.  Mankind has to live in harmony with nature!  He cannot control nature's forces.

Now someone predicted that Naples will be destroyed 29 May.  I don't know who this person is but it seems to me it would have to be some great prophet in order to predict this fate.  I will be in France that weekend but I had plans to go three for a month.  I have fears about living here now but I can't live in fear of living.

I am buying an Opel Rekord for 950.00 from a Chief.  I think I'm getting a good deal, too.  It's a 1970. The tires are good and it purrs like a cat.  He's a good person and I've known him for awhile now.  He knocked off $45.00 for me so I can check it over. I don't' feel that I'm being ripped off.

I don't regret my smoking especially when I started.  I too was ready to handle it and I don't feel that it harmed me.  I feel it opened many doors in my mind.  But now I don't need that kind of high. It's been over a month now since I've partied.  I feel so good, too.

I've been keeping to the guitar.  My fingers are starting to get raw now.  I enjoy playing teh guitar so much.

I have decided against taking anymore courses after evaluating my last class.  I feel I'm trying to do steps just to look good when it may not be my direction.  I don't like the way the educational system is set up by learning through your ass.  Maybe it's because my interest lies with the arts and children.  But sometimes I am too foolish.  I'm trying to get on a steady path.  I'm having a little trouble now.

I will end here.

May 1, 1976 (Letter from Barb N)

I had to tear up part of yesterday's note.  It was poorly written.

I'm back on my four days on.  I work days this string of watches.  It has been a relatively quiet morning.

Laura, m y other roommate, comes back from the states this week.  I'm looking forward to her return. I miss talking to her.  She has a pretty stable disposition and quite "together" for her inexperience   She comes from Minnesota and has led a sheltered, "strict-Catholic" life.

I went to a party last night and I came back with a "natural high".  I made a resolution on my birthday that I was not going to smoke or drink for a year.  (Just to see how my body and mind take to it.)  I know that I am strong enough to go through this time and I feel very good inside.

I have been writing my dreams down now and then for the past couple of years.  (I keep a notebook by my bed now.)  I find that most of my dreams are my true emotions coming out in a particular situation.  But then there are always some abstract part in my dream that takes deep thought to figure out.  I feel that realizing what's behind my dreams it will help me with some of my emotional decisions.

I'm hoping to go to Switzerland, Germany, and Austria over Memorial Day weekend.  I have to talk to Frank and see how much time he will be getting of. I definitely need a change of scenery.

That's all that's new from me.