I'm just sitting here, listening to the rain, trying to rest for a while. I've had a very busy morning. I've been working almost every day trying to finish everything I've started at work. Tomorrow, my last day, approacheth, AT LAST, as even a lustfully awaited day will eventually do. Today was my first day off (and at home) for 2 weeks -- so I had a lot to do, you know, the mundane -- cleaning, baking (which I haven't started yet), laundry (which I'm "doing" now), etc. My last day at Seton Hill is not coming a minute too soon, because I've really started to rattle my cage for the past few weeks -- I suppose because an end was in sight I was even more impatient with things than usual. Sister seems to be doing her best not to have me regret leaving at all. She tries to hard to give me really boring assignments to fill my last fays. I try not to get around to them, because I want to finish up classifying a batch of pamphlets. I decided that I'd ask for a letter of recommendation (I just felt presumptuous one day) and to my great shock, she said she'd be happy to recommend me. I decided not to send this letter out without seeing it (a good idea, since I've seen some letters she's written for other people!) so I went up to GSLIS to read it. It was very nice (maybe she was afraid I'd not be able to get a job anywhere else & come back to haunt her?) I saw Wray there & he began to badger me about "When was I going to get another Masters?" Well yech! to that. I told him the only thing I was really interested in right now was maybe an art program (he thought I should try Art History, which I'll admit might be more in tune with getting a job! -- but I don't really want to do it. I would like very much to see what I can do. (Not learn.) I have a problem similar to y \ours -- "nothing is good enough" -- which is why I didn't go to art school in the first place. I was so afraid I wouldn't be perfect. My father tried to convince me that I was being foolish, but to no avail. This doesn't mean philosophy was no good. It really helped me in so many ways & was just what I needed at the time. It probably did for me something like art would have done -- only not so much a therapy -- do you see what I'm getting at? I realize it's being presented as clearly as mud! Anyway, enough of that.
It looks as though it will be westward ho! for us come August 10th. I'm fairly excited about it, but I do fear having my roots transplanted. Maybe if I do it often enough, I'll get over this? I will miss this house so much. It really is exactly the way I wanted it now (except for 2 rooms we didn't do -- bedroom & spare room). I wish you could see it. I was so sorry everything was such a mess when you came in October. It wasn't even a clean mess You must have thought it was terrible! Maybe I can send you a few picture of the finished product.
My mother is very upset that we're going. When we were home for Tommy's graduation, she made it very clear by crying for about 1/3 of the time we were there. I've tried to make it exciting for her, too, by telling her how nice it will be for her to come out there & visit us & how'll we'll look forward to her visits, etc, but she doesn't want to play. I was a nervous wreck by the time we were ready to go home. The news of the flood that weekend did not help matters any, either. I think she should really find something that interests her, because now that she's home alone a lot, she gets very depressed. She said she was going to look for a job. I hope she can find one she likes. It would really be good for her.
When I was at home, I saw my grandmother & she said the blood of that saint is not supposed to liquify until September. She really believes in it because she's seen it happen.
I think my parents are going to come here before we go out west, so I guess we won't be going to Phila. Of course, that could always change, because my father has a job that he can't really get away from too easily. If we do come to Philly, I'd love to see you. (Brook may not come; I may just fly in by myself -- see Mickey can fly!) We might as well not make any plans yet, though, since I don't know what is going on.
Diane & Bev are coming for a visit for the weekend of July 18th. (They are staying over til Monday, too.) I don't suppose you'd like to come for a reunion then? I was considering asking Bill Louden if he'd like to come too. I know it would be a nuisance for you to do all that driving, so I won't press you, ok? I'm sorry I'm such a pest, but I do like to see you & we may not see each other for at least 3 years after this. (That sounds so terrible!!!) (We're going to visit Fallingwater. Does that tempt you at all?)
Our big decision for the month is whether to have me come along on our house-hunting trip to Idaho. Westinghouse will pay for Brook to go, but it will really be a business trip & he will have to show up at work every day. (It will probably last a week.) If I went, I could visit the real estate agents and do all that kind of thing during the day. Unfortunately, the air fare is almost $300 and we'd have to pay for my meals, etc. also. I'm not sure if it's worth it. But maybe it would be. We're not sure whether we want an apt. or a house. (We may not be able to get either because of the flood!) But we'd like a house, if we can afford one we like. Housing will be at a premium now that so many were water-damaged, so I suppose we'll just have to wait & see.
We have to start looking for someone to buy this one, now. I hope we make a profit after all the work we've put into it. I know we'll never find another house as solidly built as this one is. I'm definitely taking the stained glass. I just can't part with it. It would kill me to come back in a few years & see it broken or anything. You didn't see the window on the 3rd floor. It's blue & really pretty. It's also LARGE -- so I don't know what I'll do with it, but hopefully it can just go over another window wherever we live next.
I just can't even think about packing, etc. yet. I'm not looking forward to that part of moving at all!
I'm sending you this carrot cake recipe becausae it uses honey. (Didn't the other I gave you use sugar?) I never tired either of them, but I think I'm going to bake this honey one tonight. It sounds pretty good.
Take care
P.S. If you do read any Lessing, read The Four-Gated City instead of Golden Notebook because it is more explicit about her ideas, I think. (It's the fifth book of a 5-book series, but it can be read without the others, I guess.
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