June 24, 1976 (Letter from Grayce)

I'm just sitting here, listening to the rain, trying to rest for a while.  I've had a very busy morning. I've been working almost every day trying to finish everything I've started at work.  Tomorrow, my last day, approacheth, AT LAST, as even a lustfully awaited day will eventually do.  Today was my first day off (and at home) for 2 weeks -- so I had a lot to do, you know, the mundane -- cleaning, baking (which I haven't started yet), laundry (which I'm "doing" now), etc.  My last day at Seton Hill is not coming a minute too soon, because I've really started to rattle my cage for the past few weeks -- I suppose because an end was in sight I was even more impatient with things than usual. Sister seems to be doing her best not to have me regret leaving at all.  She tries to hard to give me really boring assignments to fill my last fays.  I try not to get around to them, because I want to finish up classifying a batch of pamphlets.  I decided that I'd ask for a letter of recommendation (I just felt presumptuous one day) and to my great shock, she said she'd be happy to recommend me. I decided not to send this letter out without seeing it (a good idea, since I've seen some letters she's written for other people!) so I went up to GSLIS to read it.  It was very nice (maybe she was afraid I'd not be able to get a job anywhere else & come back to haunt her?)  I saw Wray there & he began to badger me about "When was I going to get another Masters?"  Well yech! to that.  I told him the only thing I was really interested in right now was maybe an art program (he thought I should try Art History, which I'll admit might be more in tune with getting a job! -- but I don't really want to do it.  I would like very much to see what I can do.  (Not learn.)  I have a problem similar to y \ours -- "nothing is good enough" -- which is why I didn't go to art school in the first place.  I was so afraid I wouldn't be perfect.  My father tried to convince me that I was being foolish, but to no avail.  This doesn't mean philosophy was no good.  It really helped me in so many ways & was just what I needed at the time.  It probably did for me something like art would have done -- only not so much a therapy -- do you see what I'm getting at?  I realize it's being presented as clearly as mud!  Anyway, enough of that.

It looks as though it will be westward ho! for us come August 10th.  I'm fairly excited about it, but I do fear having my roots transplanted.  Maybe if I do it often enough, I'll get over this?  I will miss this house so much.  It really is exactly the way I wanted it now (except for 2 rooms we didn't do -- bedroom & spare room).  I wish you could see it.  I was so sorry everything was such a mess when you came in October.  It wasn't even a clean mess   You must have thought it was terrible! Maybe I can send you a few picture of the finished product.

My mother is very upset that we're going.  When we were home for Tommy's graduation, she made it very clear by crying for about 1/3 of the time we were there.  I've tried to make it exciting for her, too, by telling her how nice it will be for her to come out there & visit us & how'll we'll look forward to her visits, etc, but she doesn't want to play.  I was a nervous wreck by the time we were ready to go home.  The news of the flood that weekend did not help matters any, either.  I think she should really find  something that interests her, because now that she's home alone a lot, she gets very depressed.  She said she was going to look for a job.  I hope she can find one she likes.  It would really be good for her.

When I was at home, I saw my grandmother & she said the blood of that saint is not supposed to liquify until September.  She really believes in it because she's seen it happen.

I think my parents are going to come here before we go out west, so I guess we won't be going to Phila.  Of course, that could always change, because my father has a job that he can't really get away from too easily.  If we do come to Philly, I'd love to see you.  (Brook may not come; I may just fly in by myself -- see Mickey can fly!)  We might as well not make any plans yet, though, since I don't know what is going on.

Diane & Bev are coming for a visit for the weekend of July 18th.  (They are staying over til Monday, too.)  I don't suppose you'd like to come for a reunion then?  I was considering asking Bill Louden if he'd like to come too.  I know it would be a nuisance for you to do all that driving, so I won't press you, ok?  I'm sorry I'm such a pest, but I do like to see you & we may not see each other for at least 3 years after this.  (That sounds so terrible!!!)  (We're going to visit Fallingwater.  Does that tempt you at all?)

Our big decision for the month is whether to have me come along on our house-hunting trip to Idaho. Westinghouse will pay for Brook to go, but it will really be a business trip & he will have to show up at work every day.  (It will probably last a week.)  If I went, I could visit the real estate agents and do all that kind of thing during the day.  Unfortunately, the air fare is almost $300 and we'd have to pay for my meals, etc. also.  I'm not sure if it's worth it.  But maybe it would be. We're not sure whether we want an apt. or a house.  (We may not be able to get either because of the flood!) But we'd like a house, if we can afford one we like.  Housing will be at a premium now that so many were water-damaged, so I suppose we'll just have to wait & see.

We have to start looking for someone to buy this one, now.  I hope we make a profit after all the work we've put into it.  I know we'll never find another house as solidly built as this one is.  I'm definitely taking the stained glass.  I just can't part with it.  It would kill me to come back in a few years & see it broken or anything.  You didn't see the window on the 3rd floor.  It's blue & really pretty.  It's also LARGE -- so I don't know what I'll do with it, but hopefully it can just go over another window wherever we live next.

I just can't even think about packing, etc. yet.  I'm not looking forward to that part of moving at all!

I'm sending  you this carrot cake recipe becausae it uses honey.  (Didn't the other I gave you use sugar?)  I never tired either of them, but I think I'm going to bake this honey one tonight.  It sounds pretty good.

Take care

P.S. If you do read any Lessing, read The Four-Gated City instead of Golden Notebook because it is more explicit about her ideas, I think.  (It's the fifth book of a 5-book series, but it can be read without the others, I guess.

May 13, 1976 (Letter from Grayce)

Are you absolutely sure that you'd like to do something as rash as having me promise not t0 worry about boring you in my letters?  I mean, are you positive?  Maybe you'd like time to reconsider? (heh, heh)

Actually, I'm not bored by your letters because I'm very interested in you & what you are doing.  I don't suppose we'll ever know each other so completely that we'll be bored...(because I believe that every single person is so complex as never to be fully known by another.)  It's probably much better that way - -I'm not sure that delving into another person's depths is such a good idea -- especially since I'll never get to the bottom of my own. (Doris Lessing seems to have done this -- or so it seems in her Children of Violence series where the main character, Martha Quest, is herself.)  While I'm on the subject of Doris Lessing -- does she interest you at all?  I've recommended her to a friend of mine, an actress, & she says that she's gotten a lot from her.  I would like to have a masculine viewpoint.  We have been exposed to so few GOOD women writers, you know?  & Lessing is one of the most insightful (maybe the most insightful) that I've come across.  I'd just like to know if I like her because she' good & insightful, or because I identify with that she puts forth.  Would you mind very much if I asked you to read some of her?  The Children of Violence is a 5-book series -- maybe you don't want to start with that?  The Golden Notebook is not her best in terms of style, but is very interesting & gives an idea of what she thinks.

This would mean a lot to me -- I mean, you're letting me know your opinion.  If you don't want to, though, don't worry.  (This is the last letter you will be receiving...) (only kidding) (chuckle, chuckle)

I told Sister M. Ronald that we were probably going to be going to Idaho for the fall.  She took it pretty well.  She probably can't wait -- so that she can get someone sufficiently dedicated to Seton Hill's futile causes of educating the thick wits who seem to be there in such abundance!  You wouldn't believe the no. of students there that don't even know what a card catalog is?  It would be funny if I still had a sense of the comic about the place -- now it just seems so sorry to me.  At any rate, my last day will be either June 25th or 30th -- whichever day it is will be a day for great celebration & joy!  I'm not going to even ask her for a letter, because even when she likes a person, she still puts in something negative "just to be honest", you know!  She really is a character.  I can say one thing about the place though.  I've learned a lot (through seeing what NOT to do.)  Also, being in the position I was in, I had to do almost everything -- except catalog.  I was in charge of reference, circulation, reserves, inter-library loan & innumerable other smaller things, such as the pamphlet file (which I started myself & it now has about 500 items to it).  Say, this sounds pretty good -- wanna hire me?  Enough on this.

I have enclosed a copy (rough, I admit) of a new Phila logo which I found rather amusing.  It's done by the Girard Bank in Phila & they have t-shirts with this printed on.  I have told Diane that if she does not get me one it will be curtains for her!! It's red, white & blue, but I didn't have a blue flair so I had to make do.

We still don't know about Idaho -- I'm on the edge of my seat about it.  I really wish they'd tell us soon. It's not as if it will take me 3 days to pack -- also it takes time to sell a house!  This is just typical of the way Westinghouse does things -- so I shouldn't be surprized.

One reason for not wanting to leave the library has just occurred to me.  My supply of amusing pictures will be cut off!  (I usually get them fro advertisements for new child. lit stuff.)  I try to find Ionesco things, or Sendak or Wildsmith because I think they are really fine artists.  Ionesco's are also so sur-real.  I have one which I just can't part with -- a family looking over their couch at a languid mermaid & another which is good -- a cow family with the mother serving a dressed human head at her table.  In the background in the kitchen is a chart showing parts of human anatomy such as you often see in butcher shops (of beef).  We never had such striking illustrations that I can remember.   Did we?

Oh well -- will you mind my using regular paper usually?  Unless I come up with a new source.

We may be going rafting on May 23rd . (Brook's birthday.)  Bill Grush, a friend of Brook's at work says he knows all about whitewater.  Frankly, I'm scared!!!  Bill will work the raft, Brook will help, Bill's wife will be calm (because she is always so calm) & I will probably be dashed on the rocks.  I can't be chicken now, though, 'cause I already agreed to go.  Myeer!!  Ange & John ant to go too -- in June, & we'll probably go -- if I survive this time.  We'll be on the Youghiogheny River.


Hey!  I miss you!  When are you going to visit us?  I know you can't  I just thought I might ask anyhow!!

Send me a picture of you in your new glasses?

Don't you want to see how our house looks now?  (I never actually do give up -- it's the Taurus in me!) Is you sister a pest like I am?

Speaking of your sister -- I am not exactly sure about this miracle business, but it seems as though I've heard it before somewhere.  I will see my grandmother on June 6 & I will definitely ask her if you'd like.  She was born in Naples, but she left when she was very small.  I'm sure she would know about this though, if it's valid.

In the meantime, I wouldn't worry too much, ok?  It's probably not as scary as it sounds.

Well, I guess I'll try & get this in the mail now.  I don't want to you to be disappointed in me for not writing right away.  I will try to be good from now on!

P.S.  Do you get Mary Hartman there. Louise Lasser is one of my favorites.

May 5, 1976 (Letter from Grayce)

April & May always seem to be very hectic for me -- and doubly so this year.  I'm awfully sorry I haven't written before this, but I truly did not have time & I don't  like writing little notes & saying I will write more next time -- I feel like such a cheat!

I am curious to know if you received the letter I wrote you at your aunt's & uncle's?  It's not really important, but I just wanted to know because the day after I got the address I washed my jeans and part of the paper was gone.  I just want to know how accurate my memory was.

Anyway -- I am really happy that you are happy in  your new place & your new job, etc.  What color is your car?  Do you have any nice neighbors to keep you from getting lonely?  I mean, aside form your family.  It must be nice to work with people you like.  Sister has arranged our schedules so that Mary & I hardly ever see each other anymore & even when we do work on the same day, we are not "allowed" to go to lunch together (although there is no logical reason for this -- except that Sister doesn't want us to).  I'm sure she thinks we talk about her all the time when we're together (actually, we do, but not all the time) (heh, heh).  Anyway, I won't bore you any longer about my job -- it makes me sick just to think about it.  I do think I'll be quitting at the end of June, so maybe I can put up with it 'til then.

What has been keeping me busy lately, is that Brook's sister is getting married on May 26.  Her boyfriend,m Terry, plays in a jazz band & didn't find very well-paying jobs in Pa. up 'til now, but he went to Florida a few weeks ago & got a good offer.  Since he will have 2 weeks free before he starts, they decided to get married soon & go right down.  Otherwise, he'd probably have to work for about a year without any large amount of free time, and they really didn't want to wait quite that long.  I went out with Pat today to pick out her gown.  I'm sure you're extremely interested in all of this, huh?  Just on the edge of your seat with anticipation of what will come next?

We haven't heard bout Idaho yet.  I wish they'd hurry up & let us know, because I hate not to know what I'll be doing in August.  I'm getting antsy.  I'm hoping we go; and if not I'm going to have some serious thinking to do about my situation in general.  I've become disenchanted with library work, I'm sorry to say.  I know why, but intellectualizing the reasons doesn't help very much.  I just feel like getting into something else entirely right now.  I'm not exactly sure what.  Any suggestions?  I wish I werent' so apprehensive about trying new things -- I usually like new things but I eventually do try, but it takes me forever to relax into doing them.

I'm sorry -- all this babble.  You must be asleep by now -- what does all this matter anyway!

My brother graduates high school in June (the 6th).  My parents are holding their breath, I think. He's not being convinced that he should go to college (& why should he, really?)  It seems to be upsetting my father very much.  This surprizes me because he's not usually so achievement oriented.  (Sometimes, but not usually.)  He cannot understand why Tommy, who gets 95's in physics & does exceptionally well in mostly all sciences & math, doesn't want to go on in it.  (He also never studies.)  The school he goes to is pretty academically inclined, so I suppose he is pretty talented to do so well.  My father was really pushing him to go to Drexel (where he went) but Tommy refuses.

I don't think they'd be so worried if he had a "viable alternative".  But his main ambition right now seems to be to maybe get a part-time job in a clothes store -- not their idea of a viable alternative. I told them to leave him alone & see what he comes up with after a few months, but I don't know if they will or not.

Tommy must be feeling all this, because he called me the other day -- something he's never done before.  I though tit funny that he didn't mention anything though, but maybe he wanted me to initiate that kind of talk.

I suppose if you have a sister with 1 degree in Philosophy & 1 in library science & she has a job she doesn't care for after all that time, it is not exactly an enticement to do what she did, huh?

He also seemed pretty upset about Idaho.  He said kiddingly that he was going to disown me, but I can't help but feel that maybe he meant me to know that I'm deserting him.  I do wish I could see him more often.  He's changed so much in the 3 years that I haven't seen him regularly.  He's really a person now; sometimes I feel like such a stranger.  If we do go to Idaho, it won't get any better.  I'd like to have Tommy come here for about a week this summer just so we could get acquainted again.

Brook & I have become real "back-to-nature" people lately.  Two weekends ago, we went to visit Willy at Penn State & well all went camping at Poe Valley -- it was really a reunion.  Last weekend we went fishing (& didn't catch a thing).  Actually, I took along lots of paper to write you a long, long letter while I was there, but I was so bored I almost went crazy & I simply fidgeted like a madwoman -- so this was not conducive to good letter writing.  (Looking back over this letter, I'm beginning to wonder just what is!)

Have your read anything really exciting lately?   (Fiction)  I have enough philosophy non-fiction to keep me busy.  Doris Lessing is still on the top of the charts as far as I'm concerned.  I just finished her Golden Notebook.  I'm running out of  her & I'm sorry.  Maybe I shouldn't go on these binges, but I just can't wait.

Oh well, I guess I"ll say goodbye now (if you're still here, even!)

March 27, 1976 (Letter from Grayce)

917 South Avenue

Wilkinsburg, PA

(Grayce & Brook lived in the first floor)

Something quite incredible (at least to my way of thinking) happened to me today -- I got my driver's license. I'm sure that seems like little enough to almost everyone else.  But I'm pretty surprized about it.  I just never believed I would ever get into a car & not be in the passenger seat -- I suppose I still feel a little range -- I just can't see myself being active in that role, only passive. Well at least I have "official identification" now.  I unfortunately mentioned this reason for wanting a license to one of Brook's friends from work & have regretted it -- it is a big joke at Westinghouse now.  Anyway -- enough of my nonsense.

How are you?  You've had a week (more when you get this) to decide how this new job is affecting you.  So tell...I'm anxious to hear.  Also, what happened with your car?

Last night I received a surprize phone call from a girl who went to Villanova with me (we used to ride the train together a lot).  She was an English major, but we had a lot of classes together since we both took several French courses.  It's funny, how you can not hear from someone for a long time & how you can feel when you finally do hear from them.  She got married right after graduation & her husband is in the navy so she wasn't in the states at all for the past 3 years.  I must admit that I was not exactly overzealous in finding out her new addresses, though , so I really didn't communicate with her at all in these 3 years & she didn't know where I was or what I was doing, either.  It was quite a shock to hear her voice on the phone.  I suppose she called my parents for the number (she's in Jersey now.)  The point of this is that I felt like only a few weeks had gone by -- maybe a month and not all this time.  Does time seem to go faster the old we get?  I suppose it does because when we were 5, a year was a whole 1/5 of our life -- not 1/24th.  Oh well....

It's raining very nicely outside.  I like storms (but only when I don't have to be in them).  I also like to hear cars going by on the wet street.

This is a boring letter.  I know because I went back & read it & I was bored.  Unfortunately, yo may not get rid of me yet, because I feel like talking to you!

I thought of you when I saw an advertisement for this book called The Good Goodies (put out by Prevention magazine people )  I think I may buy it since I can't seem to give up sweets completely, so maybe I can at least make more wholesome (no sugar) ones.  It's 9>95 in case you'd like it yourself and the address is:

Rodale Press
Organic Park
Emmaus, Pa 18049

No postage & handling is you send payment with order.

I've been amusing myself in various ways lately.  Sewing seems to be in my blood every March & November   Last week I made a dress for work & a denim skirt (I refuse to pay $28 for a denim skirt that isn't even made well when I can make one myself for $6.)  I also bought some gauze to make a blouse.  Brook wants me to make us matching ski jackets for Idaho -- but I don't think I'm that good of a seamstress.

I've also begun a new furniture project.  Brook bought me an antique oak hall tree (you know, the kind with  a seat & hooks for coats, etc).  It is really a fine one, but very old & needs lots of work. It had been made known to me that this project was mine & mine alone as a condition of Brook buying this, so I suppose I cannot complain -- but it's a very difficult piece to strip -- full of caring & molding, etc.

My mother & father really were happy that I finally got one since I've always wanted one as long as they can remember.  I'm just sorry my father can't be here to hep me finish it -- he's really good at stuff like that & not too busy right now to help. I just must persevere, I guess.  I hope I can get it finished before we leave for Idaho.

I've been reading more Doris Lessing.  I'm pretty impressed by her & will be sorry to run out of her soon -- only 2 more books to go.

I'm undecided as to whether to have a garden this year.  If we leave in the beginning of August, we won't harvest much, but then I suppose the Michauxs would be able to use up most of the stuff.

Well -- I think I've talked on long enough.  I hope you're well & happy.