July 10, 1977 (Letter from Grayce)

I'm having a great time tonight.  Just got a package of new records from Brook's dad -- so I'm going thru them to see which ones meet with my "approval".  Right now I'm hearing the new  Brian Auger (Happiness Heartaches) & actually, while its better than most of the junk that's out right now -- I'm slightly disappointed.  It just doesn't have the magic of some of the others, at least, not for me. Next comes Michael Franks, one of my all-time favorites -- (are you familiar with him?)  His lyrics are what interest me most, I guess, although I like the music, too.  I'm saving that one for the "wee hours'.

Brook has been at the site much of this week.  He has a big test tomorrow.  What a grinder they put these people through -- 1/2 of his class has quit already -- and the other half aren't too pleased with things, either.  Hopefully, after August, when he qualifies, he'll be spared these long hours.  I feel so sorry for him.  He has no time to do any of his little putterings.  I'm sure I've harped on this before, though, so I'll fermez ma bouche!

I've started a project this week which I've had in mind for some time.  I've been getting Prevention since early 1973 and the issues were really building up.  Also I never did bother to get the index, so I've decided that I'm going to make my own reference source oft of them.  I bought 2 blank bound record books (lined) and am using 1 for A-L and the other for M-Z (obviously).  Then I'm abstracting each article & other facts I consider important about indiv. subjects (vitamins & which part of body they benefit most, herb remedies, etc.) and entering them in the ledgers.  Then, I'm getting rid of the magazines themselves.  I know someone who'd like them, so I won't have a guilty conscience about it.  And when I need some kind of information on vitamin K, then I'll just use my handy (& compact) ledger of facts!  (Of course, it's not a perfect system -- but then, it keeps me out of trouble, right?)  For most of the time, anyway... (I'm on 1976 now.)

This week, 2 of Brook's friends from the Pgh Westinghouse came out here -- not for a visit, but to stay.  They're living up in Idaho Falls.  These are the same two who got us into that rafting trip last spring.  And this afternoon, Greg called me & tired to entice me to go with them tomorrow on the Snake River trip -- (although I'm sure he knew I wouldn't react favorably to this!)  Luckily, I had a splendid excuse not to go -- work!  Also, I know Brook doesn't want to again, so that settled that anyway.  It will be nice having some buddies out here.  The only thing is -- Greg is really crazy. He says he'll get us all to go hang gliding in a few months, but I'll have to be in another dimension before I ever do that!  I'm afraid to go on a ferris wheel!  Of course, this would probably be the perfect past-time for such a [drawing of little bird] as yourself?!

Don't worry -- if you do get a come out here next year, I'll be sure to have the guest room all ready. We do actually have a guest room here -- with a bed, even.  Or would you rather have a perch?) And -- a window that opens -- (not like our other place) -- haven't we progressed?

Speaking of guests -- Brook's parents are coming on Saturday (July 16th) for a visit.  I intend to spend at least the next 5 days cleaning.  (Maybe nights, too!)  It will be nice having company.  We haven't planned exactly what to do  yet, but we will go down to Salt Lake for 2 days (yeah, seafood!) and , of course, we'll show them all around beautiful Pocatello.  I'll probably have to work at least 2 days that week, so that will limit us a bit.

I do wish I could talk to you sometime - but not just talk, I mean -- see & talk.  It would be nice. But then, I probably wouldn't have anything comforting to say, anyway.

I know you are restless where you are, but maybe it will be good for you in some immense way that is not visible yet?  I thought my 2-year stint at Seton Hill had only a negative side, but of course, now that I can put it into perspective, I can see some good.  (Not a hell of a lot, but some!) And your situation, as you know, is not nearly as negative as Seton Hell was -- this must make you see !  (Nothing could be worse than Seton Hell!)   I know that when your debts are paid, Paul the Phoenix will emerge and that freedom alone will make all the difference.

I had a wonderful dream the other night.  I feel like I was under a spell, so I don't really want to analyze it or anything, but a general outline, maybe.

A unicorn was the main character and he was my friend and he told me all these things.  They were puzzles -- and of course I can't remember what was so great about them.  But I remember that I was completely immersed in them and they were freedom-giving, or some such thing.  I just remember the images of this animal and his face was kind.  I just woke up with a good feeling about everything.  It was a very idealistic dream, but I suppose idealism is more comforting than realism anyway?  (That does not sound like an existentialist, does it?  Maybe I'm not one, after all?)

November 24, 1976 (Letter from Grayce)

I'm so sorry about the recipes -- we really did like the 2-bean casserole.  Oh well ---"de gustibus non disputandem!"  As you can see, I don't give up easily -- we Taurus people are very stubborn!  If you're willing, my aunt's spinach pie recipe is yummy (I think).  Brook hates spinach & will positively not eat it plain.  Actually, the whole first time I made this pie, he made faces at it & would not even come near it.  There was a lot of low comedy flying around also -- but, when it was finished he did condescend not taste it & he liked it. (He'll never live this down, of course) & now he even asks me to make it!  So do try it, ok?  If mushrooms are as expensive now in  New England as they are here, leave them out.  It's still good without them.

I found this little button & thought it would be perfect for you, in case you eve have an identity crisis, or if your being ever feels denied, or something of that sort!

I do hope you aren't seriously suggesting that I have a "negligible interest at most" in your straitened circumstances!  I really do care, but feel a little helpless about it.  Do you budget yourself?  I suppose you do, but are  you an impulsive spender?  I am, so I know what it's like.  I've been very good lately, though, since I'm not working.  I just tell myself that that money isn't mine. (Actually, I let myself have a certain amount to do the grocery shopping & maybe $10 more each week & whatever I want, I kind of "save" for from week to week.)  It's crazy, I guess, but it feels like the right thing to do, to me.  Maybe you could pretend that a certain amt of your money isn't yours. (Aside from the part that really isn't & save it & then splurge with the money later & buy something special for dinner, or something like that?

How nice that you'll all be together for Christmas.  That's what I usually liked about Christmas, but I haven't spent a Christmas with my own family for 2  years. I kind of miss it.  The other thing I like about it is making things for it -- (which I already told you in another letter).  This year I'm making a wreath out of felt pieces on a styrofoam base. I've cut out everything I want to use -- holly leaves, red berries, mistletoe leaves, white berries, & a few Christmas symbols like a gold star, a few white doves, etc.  It's coming along splendidly!  Also, each year I make a few ornaments for the tree.  The first y ear, I made some wooden ones & painted them.  Last year I made a few clothespin ornaments & then decorate them & varnish them so they'll last.  They also make nice gift tags. I guess I"ll do that next week sometime.  Your calendars sound really nice.  I'm sure everyone will like them better than a boughten gift, and they'll think of you every time they see it!

I'm awfully happy this week -- not that I've been unhappy before -- but I'm especially happy now. Maybe because I'm getting adjusted.  I've actually been sleeping very well, only a very few real trying nights.  I must attribute it to the fact that I'm finally over the frustration of Seton Hill.  (I do still freeze up when I think of that place, though & its atmosphere!)

Speaking of jobs -- you asked what the situation was here.  It's bleak, I won't mince words.  The college here has some prissy rule about 5 years experience for librarians or 2 Masters -- so forget about that place.  I went to talk to the director, but he's a real zombie, so I just smiled politely when he told me he was impressed by my letters of recommendation & then I left after he told me to get another Masters  (at ISU, of course) & definitely he'd hire me then.  Needless to say, I think he's absurd!  The director of the public library is great -- only he has no jobs.  If I get desperate I may volunteer because he's a very progressive person and I know he'd be good to work with.  He was "impressed" too (or so he said).  But he did try to find me something else -- even called people for me, but there isn't anything right now.

I'd like to get a job, because we have a $30,000 mortgage & I'd like to help pay it, but I don't see anything right now.  Brook thinks I shouldn't just take anything, but wait for something good.  (I may be waiting forever, of course.)  I went into the bookstore at the mall & asked about part-time, but of course they just hired some one!  My luck is great.  Anyway, I'm hoping they have a quick turnover, so I left my application.  It would be good experience, I guess, huh?  It's a nice bookstore, too -- has lots of interesting stuff in it.

If I hear of anything, I'll let you know -- but jobs don't exactly stick to me -- especially good ones.

Brook has to stay late at work tonight -- to study confidential stuff.   What a drag.   I'm sure whatever it is isn't that secret.  Oh well.  I have to get him at 10:00, because the night bus stop is about a mile from the regular bus stop.  Yesterday, Brook had me drive on Interstate 15.  I was scared, but it really wasn't that bad.  It was the first time I ever had the car in 4th intentionally.  (I used to put it in 4th instead of 2nd all the time when I first started.)  So now I guess I'm qualified to drive to the airport to pick people up when they come to visit.  (I hope you'll be one of them someday.)

I don't think I told you that the movers broke my loom.  Well, actually it may have been a blessing in disguise.  The guy who came to see the part that was broken is a sheep farmer out in Blackfoot & he asked me to teach him how to spin, so I did & he's going to bring me several pounds a raw wool!   I'm so excited.  He called this morning & will be out this afternoon & will also have my loom piece -- hopefully!

It must be the day for phone calls.  My friend Olga called from California at 6AM.  I guess she was getting ready to go to work. I haven't spoken to her for 2 years!  'twas nice. One of my friends in NY wants me to get a cassette recorder so we can exchange tapes.  I don't' know, though. I think I wouldn't like to speak onto tape as much as I like to write.  Do you?

Oh well, I guess I'm finished talking your ear (eye?) off.  Take care.

June 24, 1976 (Letter from Grayce)

I'm just sitting here, listening to the rain, trying to rest for a while.  I've had a very busy morning. I've been working almost every day trying to finish everything I've started at work.  Tomorrow, my last day, approacheth, AT LAST, as even a lustfully awaited day will eventually do.  Today was my first day off (and at home) for 2 weeks -- so I had a lot to do, you know, the mundane -- cleaning, baking (which I haven't started yet), laundry (which I'm "doing" now), etc.  My last day at Seton Hill is not coming a minute too soon, because I've really started to rattle my cage for the past few weeks -- I suppose because an end was in sight I was even more impatient with things than usual. Sister seems to be doing her best not to have me regret leaving at all.  She tries to hard to give me really boring assignments to fill my last fays.  I try not to get around to them, because I want to finish up classifying a batch of pamphlets.  I decided that I'd ask for a letter of recommendation (I just felt presumptuous one day) and to my great shock, she said she'd be happy to recommend me. I decided not to send this letter out without seeing it (a good idea, since I've seen some letters she's written for other people!) so I went up to GSLIS to read it.  It was very nice (maybe she was afraid I'd not be able to get a job anywhere else & come back to haunt her?)  I saw Wray there & he began to badger me about "When was I going to get another Masters?"  Well yech! to that.  I told him the only thing I was really interested in right now was maybe an art program (he thought I should try Art History, which I'll admit might be more in tune with getting a job! -- but I don't really want to do it.  I would like very much to see what I can do.  (Not learn.)  I have a problem similar to y \ours -- "nothing is good enough" -- which is why I didn't go to art school in the first place.  I was so afraid I wouldn't be perfect.  My father tried to convince me that I was being foolish, but to no avail.  This doesn't mean philosophy was no good.  It really helped me in so many ways & was just what I needed at the time.  It probably did for me something like art would have done -- only not so much a therapy -- do you see what I'm getting at?  I realize it's being presented as clearly as mud!  Anyway, enough of that.

It looks as though it will be westward ho! for us come August 10th.  I'm fairly excited about it, but I do fear having my roots transplanted.  Maybe if I do it often enough, I'll get over this?  I will miss this house so much.  It really is exactly the way I wanted it now (except for 2 rooms we didn't do -- bedroom & spare room).  I wish you could see it.  I was so sorry everything was such a mess when you came in October.  It wasn't even a clean mess   You must have thought it was terrible! Maybe I can send you a few picture of the finished product.

My mother is very upset that we're going.  When we were home for Tommy's graduation, she made it very clear by crying for about 1/3 of the time we were there.  I've tried to make it exciting for her, too, by telling her how nice it will be for her to come out there & visit us & how'll we'll look forward to her visits, etc, but she doesn't want to play.  I was a nervous wreck by the time we were ready to go home.  The news of the flood that weekend did not help matters any, either.  I think she should really find  something that interests her, because now that she's home alone a lot, she gets very depressed.  She said she was going to look for a job.  I hope she can find one she likes.  It would really be good for her.

When I was at home, I saw my grandmother & she said the blood of that saint is not supposed to liquify until September.  She really believes in it because she's seen it happen.

I think my parents are going to come here before we go out west, so I guess we won't be going to Phila.  Of course, that could always change, because my father has a job that he can't really get away from too easily.  If we do come to Philly, I'd love to see you.  (Brook may not come; I may just fly in by myself -- see Mickey can fly!)  We might as well not make any plans yet, though, since I don't know what is going on.

Diane & Bev are coming for a visit for the weekend of July 18th.  (They are staying over til Monday, too.)  I don't suppose you'd like to come for a reunion then?  I was considering asking Bill Louden if he'd like to come too.  I know it would be a nuisance for you to do all that driving, so I won't press you, ok?  I'm sorry I'm such a pest, but I do like to see you & we may not see each other for at least 3 years after this.  (That sounds so terrible!!!)  (We're going to visit Fallingwater.  Does that tempt you at all?)

Our big decision for the month is whether to have me come along on our house-hunting trip to Idaho. Westinghouse will pay for Brook to go, but it will really be a business trip & he will have to show up at work every day.  (It will probably last a week.)  If I went, I could visit the real estate agents and do all that kind of thing during the day.  Unfortunately, the air fare is almost $300 and we'd have to pay for my meals, etc. also.  I'm not sure if it's worth it.  But maybe it would be. We're not sure whether we want an apt. or a house.  (We may not be able to get either because of the flood!) But we'd like a house, if we can afford one we like.  Housing will be at a premium now that so many were water-damaged, so I suppose we'll just have to wait & see.

We have to start looking for someone to buy this one, now.  I hope we make a profit after all the work we've put into it.  I know we'll never find another house as solidly built as this one is.  I'm definitely taking the stained glass.  I just can't part with it.  It would kill me to come back in a few years & see it broken or anything.  You didn't see the window on the 3rd floor.  It's blue & really pretty.  It's also LARGE -- so I don't know what I'll do with it, but hopefully it can just go over another window wherever we live next.

I just can't even think about packing, etc. yet.  I'm not looking forward to that part of moving at all!

I'm sending  you this carrot cake recipe becausae it uses honey.  (Didn't the other I gave you use sugar?)  I never tired either of them, but I think I'm going to bake this honey one tonight.  It sounds pretty good.

Take care

P.S. If you do read any Lessing, read The Four-Gated City instead of Golden Notebook because it is more explicit about her ideas, I think.  (It's the fifth book of a 5-book series, but it can be read without the others, I guess.

May 13, 1976 (Letter from Grayce)

Are you absolutely sure that you'd like to do something as rash as having me promise not t0 worry about boring you in my letters?  I mean, are you positive?  Maybe you'd like time to reconsider? (heh, heh)

Actually, I'm not bored by your letters because I'm very interested in you & what you are doing.  I don't suppose we'll ever know each other so completely that we'll be bored...(because I believe that every single person is so complex as never to be fully known by another.)  It's probably much better that way - -I'm not sure that delving into another person's depths is such a good idea -- especially since I'll never get to the bottom of my own. (Doris Lessing seems to have done this -- or so it seems in her Children of Violence series where the main character, Martha Quest, is herself.)  While I'm on the subject of Doris Lessing -- does she interest you at all?  I've recommended her to a friend of mine, an actress, & she says that she's gotten a lot from her.  I would like to have a masculine viewpoint.  We have been exposed to so few GOOD women writers, you know?  & Lessing is one of the most insightful (maybe the most insightful) that I've come across.  I'd just like to know if I like her because she' good & insightful, or because I identify with that she puts forth.  Would you mind very much if I asked you to read some of her?  The Children of Violence is a 5-book series -- maybe you don't want to start with that?  The Golden Notebook is not her best in terms of style, but is very interesting & gives an idea of what she thinks.

This would mean a lot to me -- I mean, you're letting me know your opinion.  If you don't want to, though, don't worry.  (This is the last letter you will be receiving...) (only kidding) (chuckle, chuckle)

I told Sister M. Ronald that we were probably going to be going to Idaho for the fall.  She took it pretty well.  She probably can't wait -- so that she can get someone sufficiently dedicated to Seton Hill's futile causes of educating the thick wits who seem to be there in such abundance!  You wouldn't believe the no. of students there that don't even know what a card catalog is?  It would be funny if I still had a sense of the comic about the place -- now it just seems so sorry to me.  At any rate, my last day will be either June 25th or 30th -- whichever day it is will be a day for great celebration & joy!  I'm not going to even ask her for a letter, because even when she likes a person, she still puts in something negative "just to be honest", you know!  She really is a character.  I can say one thing about the place though.  I've learned a lot (through seeing what NOT to do.)  Also, being in the position I was in, I had to do almost everything -- except catalog.  I was in charge of reference, circulation, reserves, inter-library loan & innumerable other smaller things, such as the pamphlet file (which I started myself & it now has about 500 items to it).  Say, this sounds pretty good -- wanna hire me?  Enough on this.

I have enclosed a copy (rough, I admit) of a new Phila logo which I found rather amusing.  It's done by the Girard Bank in Phila & they have t-shirts with this printed on.  I have told Diane that if she does not get me one it will be curtains for her!! It's red, white & blue, but I didn't have a blue flair so I had to make do.

We still don't know about Idaho -- I'm on the edge of my seat about it.  I really wish they'd tell us soon. It's not as if it will take me 3 days to pack -- also it takes time to sell a house!  This is just typical of the way Westinghouse does things -- so I shouldn't be surprized.

One reason for not wanting to leave the library has just occurred to me.  My supply of amusing pictures will be cut off!  (I usually get them fro advertisements for new child. lit stuff.)  I try to find Ionesco things, or Sendak or Wildsmith because I think they are really fine artists.  Ionesco's are also so sur-real.  I have one which I just can't part with -- a family looking over their couch at a languid mermaid & another which is good -- a cow family with the mother serving a dressed human head at her table.  In the background in the kitchen is a chart showing parts of human anatomy such as you often see in butcher shops (of beef).  We never had such striking illustrations that I can remember.   Did we?

Oh well -- will you mind my using regular paper usually?  Unless I come up with a new source.

We may be going rafting on May 23rd . (Brook's birthday.)  Bill Grush, a friend of Brook's at work says he knows all about whitewater.  Frankly, I'm scared!!!  Bill will work the raft, Brook will help, Bill's wife will be calm (because she is always so calm) & I will probably be dashed on the rocks.  I can't be chicken now, though, 'cause I already agreed to go.  Myeer!!  Ange & John ant to go too -- in June, & we'll probably go -- if I survive this time.  We'll be on the Youghiogheny River.


Hey!  I miss you!  When are you going to visit us?  I know you can't  I just thought I might ask anyhow!!

Send me a picture of you in your new glasses?

Don't you want to see how our house looks now?  (I never actually do give up -- it's the Taurus in me!) Is you sister a pest like I am?

Speaking of your sister -- I am not exactly sure about this miracle business, but it seems as though I've heard it before somewhere.  I will see my grandmother on June 6 & I will definitely ask her if you'd like.  She was born in Naples, but she left when she was very small.  I'm sure she would know about this though, if it's valid.

In the meantime, I wouldn't worry too much, ok?  It's probably not as scary as it sounds.

Well, I guess I'll try & get this in the mail now.  I don't want to you to be disappointed in me for not writing right away.  I will try to be good from now on!

P.S.  Do you get Mary Hartman there. Louise Lasser is one of my favorites.

May 5, 1976 (Letter from Grayce)

April & May always seem to be very hectic for me -- and doubly so this year.  I'm awfully sorry I haven't written before this, but I truly did not have time & I don't  like writing little notes & saying I will write more next time -- I feel like such a cheat!

I am curious to know if you received the letter I wrote you at your aunt's & uncle's?  It's not really important, but I just wanted to know because the day after I got the address I washed my jeans and part of the paper was gone.  I just want to know how accurate my memory was.

Anyway -- I am really happy that you are happy in  your new place & your new job, etc.  What color is your car?  Do you have any nice neighbors to keep you from getting lonely?  I mean, aside form your family.  It must be nice to work with people you like.  Sister has arranged our schedules so that Mary & I hardly ever see each other anymore & even when we do work on the same day, we are not "allowed" to go to lunch together (although there is no logical reason for this -- except that Sister doesn't want us to).  I'm sure she thinks we talk about her all the time when we're together (actually, we do, but not all the time) (heh, heh).  Anyway, I won't bore you any longer about my job -- it makes me sick just to think about it.  I do think I'll be quitting at the end of June, so maybe I can put up with it 'til then.

What has been keeping me busy lately, is that Brook's sister is getting married on May 26.  Her boyfriend,m Terry, plays in a jazz band & didn't find very well-paying jobs in Pa. up 'til now, but he went to Florida a few weeks ago & got a good offer.  Since he will have 2 weeks free before he starts, they decided to get married soon & go right down.  Otherwise, he'd probably have to work for about a year without any large amount of free time, and they really didn't want to wait quite that long.  I went out with Pat today to pick out her gown.  I'm sure you're extremely interested in all of this, huh?  Just on the edge of your seat with anticipation of what will come next?

We haven't heard bout Idaho yet.  I wish they'd hurry up & let us know, because I hate not to know what I'll be doing in August.  I'm getting antsy.  I'm hoping we go; and if not I'm going to have some serious thinking to do about my situation in general.  I've become disenchanted with library work, I'm sorry to say.  I know why, but intellectualizing the reasons doesn't help very much.  I just feel like getting into something else entirely right now.  I'm not exactly sure what.  Any suggestions?  I wish I werent' so apprehensive about trying new things -- I usually like new things but I eventually do try, but it takes me forever to relax into doing them.

I'm sorry -- all this babble.  You must be asleep by now -- what does all this matter anyway!

My brother graduates high school in June (the 6th).  My parents are holding their breath, I think. He's not being convinced that he should go to college (& why should he, really?)  It seems to be upsetting my father very much.  This surprizes me because he's not usually so achievement oriented.  (Sometimes, but not usually.)  He cannot understand why Tommy, who gets 95's in physics & does exceptionally well in mostly all sciences & math, doesn't want to go on in it.  (He also never studies.)  The school he goes to is pretty academically inclined, so I suppose he is pretty talented to do so well.  My father was really pushing him to go to Drexel (where he went) but Tommy refuses.

I don't think they'd be so worried if he had a "viable alternative".  But his main ambition right now seems to be to maybe get a part-time job in a clothes store -- not their idea of a viable alternative. I told them to leave him alone & see what he comes up with after a few months, but I don't know if they will or not.

Tommy must be feeling all this, because he called me the other day -- something he's never done before.  I though tit funny that he didn't mention anything though, but maybe he wanted me to initiate that kind of talk.

I suppose if you have a sister with 1 degree in Philosophy & 1 in library science & she has a job she doesn't care for after all that time, it is not exactly an enticement to do what she did, huh?

He also seemed pretty upset about Idaho.  He said kiddingly that he was going to disown me, but I can't help but feel that maybe he meant me to know that I'm deserting him.  I do wish I could see him more often.  He's changed so much in the 3 years that I haven't seen him regularly.  He's really a person now; sometimes I feel like such a stranger.  If we do go to Idaho, it won't get any better.  I'd like to have Tommy come here for about a week this summer just so we could get acquainted again.

Brook & I have become real "back-to-nature" people lately.  Two weekends ago, we went to visit Willy at Penn State & well all went camping at Poe Valley -- it was really a reunion.  Last weekend we went fishing (& didn't catch a thing).  Actually, I took along lots of paper to write you a long, long letter while I was there, but I was so bored I almost went crazy & I simply fidgeted like a madwoman -- so this was not conducive to good letter writing.  (Looking back over this letter, I'm beginning to wonder just what is!)

Have your read anything really exciting lately?   (Fiction)  I have enough philosophy non-fiction to keep me busy.  Doris Lessing is still on the top of the charts as far as I'm concerned.  I just finished her Golden Notebook.  I'm running out of  her & I'm sorry.  Maybe I shouldn't go on these binges, but I just can't wait.

Oh well, I guess I"ll say goodbye now (if you're still here, even!)

March 1976 (Note card from Grayce)

TIME

Hello chum,

What's news? (to coin a phrase).  Nothing much is happening here that's good.  Mary Dodson -- my partner-in-crime at work was in a car accident but is not hurt badly -- just her knees and just enough to give her a small & well-deserved rest from the boss (and from my tortures, too, I suppose!)

I have to work this weekend (drat!) but have the rather sizeable consolation that sister will be away for the entire 2 days and that I will be able to run wild!  (i.e. I will not have to ask permission to answer a reference question.)

The following weekend, Ange & John are coming to visit.  I happen to know of another individual who is very welcome to spend a few days here, but that person has just not shown any enthusiasm in this direction, of course -- I won't mention any names....

July 15, 1975 (Letter from Grayce)

Dear Tweet (Polar Bear, Sven, sugar hater, ozone protector...ad nauseum.)

Although I can never hope, in my wildest imaginings, to write you a 30-page letter, one can never tell, I suppose.  Anyway, it will give me something to aspire to (no matter how I try, I always have dangling participles! -- it sounds so false the other way) I must say, though, that I was quite pleased to receive your letter (it brightened an otherwise dreary week in which my emotional state may be typified by the above picture).  I'm so glad we write.  I've gotten some insights that I wouldn't have if we had been talking -- of course, the opposite is also true.  And I hope you can visit.  I don't care when, but you'd better get here!  (That's a request, although, it sounds like an order.)

About the ozone.  Actually, I have been aware of this crusade for quite some time.  I could never use spray deodorants, or anything else for that matter, since they react strangely with my skin, which is probably the strangest of the strange anywhere on the face of the earth.  I think many people have heard of the dangers involved, but they are too lazy to give up convenience items that they have grown accustomed to (another dang. partic!!!)  I mean people are so lazy.  (Me included, of course, but not in this particular instance.)

I seem to have a preference for parentheses, also.  I suppose it indicates lack of foresight, but I don't think it's too serious.

I have a theory about the ozone.  (Paul say, oh, oh!)  I promise to make it short!  Anyway, I always thought that at this time in history people were supposed to mate with people of another skin color, not all at once, of course, but gradually.  And since a medium loss of ozone will only affect white people (if I were a fundamentalist, I might say they deserve this for their past behavior?) then by the time the ill effects start to occur about 25-50 years from now, people will have (ideally) stopped robbing the atmosphere (as Oregon has) and also have started to protect themselves against the ultra-violet rays.  These are just the highlights of the theory, but, as I said, short!

As for your being the holder of two (?only two) such incongruous nicknames, just count yourself extremely lucky if it ends there.  I seem to have this need to tease people.  It's not good and some people must not like it and misunderstand it (although I don't think you are one of these people --= am I right?)  I have one friend that I still call "Chapel" because her nose is so cute.  I can't explain it, though and she's stopped wondering why.  Brook thinks I'm really (and truly) crazy.  When I first met him, it struck me that he hardly ever laughed or smiled.  And once when he did, I was very surprised by it and it didn't seem real so I accidentally said "Bozo" -- not even meaning to, but it just slipped out.  (I suppose because of the "painted on" smile.)  He was very hurt because he thought that I was saying he looked like a clown.  So I really felt badly.  I still have to watch my little nicknames for him.  He's awfully sensitive about things like that. (Of course, he can call me "Mickey Mouse" -- and that's not too bad considering some of the others he's come up with) and I can complain til my ears fold up, but it doesn't  do any good!!!

Anyway, I only nickname people I fell pretty strongly about and, fairly I suppose, since stranger might seek to have me locked up!!!  Do you really think I'm warped?  I ask because sometimes I worry.  Several people have told me I was really "odd".  Brook, in one of his relatively few tactful moods, told me I was a "collector's item".  If even my best friends have told me things to this effect, I can imagine what strangers think.  I really would value your opinion wince I think you know certain aspects of my character pretty well.  I guess you will think I'm weird, but I am very afraid of being "insane" if that would mean being locked up.  Otherwise, I wouldn't mind if I could just be left alone.  I don't think I would ever turn into a violent person and I hope not, anyway!  So don't start ordering my strait-jacket yet.

Well, on to a more pleasant topic.  On July 23rd, Sr. M Ronald leaves for Florida for 2 glorious weeks of vacation!  (For us, also.)  I can't wait.  Unfortunately, she's getting another nun to come in for those 2 weeks (is this pen skipping business contagious, do you think?)  to "watch us" (those are her actual words).  We're not exactly thrilled by this, but she can't be as bad as SM Ronald.

My weekend at home was bittersweet.  As usual, I got to see almost everyone for about 1/2 hour. I only got to see Ange at the "shower" and couldn't really talk there.  She and John got an apt in the Northeast which is an hour and a half away from center city and 2 hrs from my parents house (and that's if there's no bad traffic on I-95).  I know we won't see each other very often.  I am also upset since the people upstairs are moving to New Mexico.  It seems as though as soon as I meet people they leave, am I that bad?  This happened with people at Seton Hill also. I'm sorry; I should not pour these thoughts out to you as often as I do.  I'm sure that this is meant to make me self-sufficient and I just have to grow up!

As for children -- it would seem that they would certainly be nice to have.  I'm not sure though.  I don't want to have them to make me happy.  And I'm not sure that I'd be a good mother. Neither Brook no I fell ready right now so I guess we don't know what the future holds.  I meant to go into depth about this, but I find that I don't have a ting to say.

Anyway, I hope to get to see you soon.

June 30, 1975 (Letter from Grayce)

You are probably still arm fro basking in the lovely California sun. I hope your return was not marred by any problems at work.

May be you should tell me about all your ALA adventures?  Did you see anyone there that yo knew?  How was the job market?  I just realized that I'm writing on this paper upside-down -- typical.

Next Monday, Linda wants to me "show her around" GSLIS.  It's the last thing I want to do, actually.  II don't feel like seeing anyone from there right now, but I suppose I must -- did you ever stop to consider how many things we do that we don't really want to do?  Not things we hate, but just little silly things that clutter up our existence?  For me it's phenomenal -- I haven't much direction, I suppose.  Sometimes I just feel that we are all a bunch of cells bumping into each other, anyway and I wonder why I even try to do anything.  It doesn't seem to matter much.   Do I sound in despair?  I guess I do -- I really am not, so maybe I should remove myself from this line of thought.  I just have a feeling that this next year will be a landmark.  Either it will be a dormant time before some big decision or it will be a very busy time in itself -- with lots of change.  I kind of hope it's the former because I don't think I have the strength or stability now for the latter.

In August, Mother Seton will be "canonized" and naturally Seton Hill will make a big deal out of this.  I have been "commissioned" to do a display of scenes from Seton's life for the library.  We found some old prints which were done in black and white drypoint.  I am to give them color and tone and make a display.  The only thing I'm really glad about is that I get to do all this at home, and do not have "the tyrant" peering over my shoulder at all times.  I can't believe I'm getting paid to do something I enjoy.  They're even supplying the pastels, fixative, etc.  I have until August 1 to do 33 prints. So far, I've done 8.

This past weekend was a very nice one.  It was the Rohr (Brook's mother) family reunion in Columbus, Ohio.  At first I was reluctant to go since I do not like "big" things where I have to cope with a lot of strangers at once.  But we figured we had better go.  Brook hadn't been there for 4 years and his mother was pressuring us.  So...  Anyway, Brook  and I were put up at his uncle's farm about 35 miles outside of Columbus so we had a really good time.   I had never been on a farm before and everyone was anxious to initiate the "city kid".  Brook's cousin Terry just assumed that I would want to milk a cow.  I was terrified.  I'm sure the poor cow wasn't exactly thrilled, either, but somehow, after much giggling by all the farmhands and cousins and Brook, I did it.  I also got to feed all the baby calves with these gigantic milk bottles.  Brook got to bale hay (which did wonders for his allergy.)  So I didn't envy him at all.

One neat thing -- being awakened by cows and sheep in the morning instead of an alarm clock does wonders.  Those farmers certainly work diligently.  They never go away and I really admire their endurance and discipline.

I think I don't have much to say this time.  I'll be going home on July 11th cause Ange's shower is on the 13th.  I think I'll fly.  I can't stand buses and I'm more afraid of trains than planes anymore -- with all the accidents that have been happening lately.  I may take the midnight flight since it's cheaper.  My father will just be so pleased to have to come pick me up at the airport at 1AM.

Please forgive this letter.

P.S.  It just occurred to me lately that you might live near a desert.  (Do you?)  I know you will think I'm a real pain but (please don't  think I'm crazy) if it's at all possible, could you send me some dried weeds of flowers or baby grassknots or anything like that.  I know you probably can't especially now without a car, but if you ever do come across any -- could you?

June 9, 1975 (Letter from Grayce)

This is truly a gorgeous day!  I just got back from in town where I bought my father a sweater (summer) for Sunday (Father's Day).  I didn't want to leave uptown because it was so nice, so I just strolled around for awhile, but, unfortunately, I can only stand that for so long -- especially if I can't go into stores and SPEND! It's like a disease.  I wish I could just control myself.  I buy things I really don't need sometimes.  Now that I'm trying to save money, though, I've gotten a bit more control over myself.  Although, with what I make, I doubt very much if I will be able to save much.

Anyway -- I did some weeding in my garden today.  It's really coming along.  I'm quite proud of myself -- as this is my first attempt at outdoor planting.  The tomatoes, lettuce, and onions are really growing quickly.  The lettuce will be ready to eat in a few more weeks, I think.  I'm so excited I can hardly wait!!!  Brook is ready to send me to a loony bin.  The night I planted everything, I couldn't sleep hardly at all and when I did finally get to sleep, I actually dreamed of plants and vegetables.  I had several dreams about them, too.  Some "good and some "bad".  In one of the "good" ones, I can remember seeing my picture in the back of a comic book holding a head of lettuce about 30" in diameter in one of those queer advertisements for fertilizer.  (Isn't that goofy?) Oh well.

Bev told me about her job hunting when she was here, too.  I hope she gets something she likes better. I really thought she liked it there, but I think she doesn't so much, anymore.  In my position, almost any job looks inviting, you know?

You mentioned being a parent.  I'm really scared to death of being in that position.  I think too many people have children who have no idea about what to do with them and don't really think about how they can affect their lives.  It's such an awesome responsibility.

An aside.  (I hope you never really doubted that I cared about your well-being, Tweet!)

Have you heard from Ken and Denise yet again?  I hope he's not too bad, although I can imagine that he's in a lot of pain.

Harvey is in the hospital.  Poor Harvey certainly has his share of problems.  His nerve tendons in both his hands have given him so much trouble.  On top of that he's diabetic and any operation is a risk for him.  He went in last week and it takes several weeks to recover from this thing and then a few months from now he'll have to go in for the other arm.  Well -- enough bad news....

Nothing much is really happening here.  I'm sorry if this letter is extremely boring.  I think I'll only continue it for 2 more pages.  (Paulie says, oh no, 2 more?!!)

I really like having Mondays and Fridays off now (besides weekends).  I really can't take that place full-time and remain sane too (if I may presume that I am presently sane?)

Right now I'm finishing a weaving for Rich Miller's wedding.  It's kind of primitive in earth tones, but I hope he likes it.  I haven't started on Ange's yet -- or rather, I have started in hers at least 4 times and each time I just take it apart because I'm not satisfied with it.  I guess I'm being ridiculous, but I really want it to be special cause she means so much to me.  We've been really close since 3rd grade and we're almost one person in so many ways.  She's one of the few people that I know who would put my welfare above hers in any kind of crisis.  I mean, some people you think might, but I'm really certain of Ange.  I guess cause I've never had ad sister (and she hasn't either) (she has 4 brothers) we just kind of adopted each other.

We haven't kept one promise very well.  We both promised each other when we were about 19-20 that we definitely would not get married til we were at least 28!  Oh well-

(I'm almost to the end, Tweet!!  Do you think you can bear my ramblings for another side of a page?)

My sewing project right now is a bathing suit.  I haven't had one for 3 years, because 3 years ago I gained 15 pounds in one year and I haven't had the discipline to get rid of them yet (what a dis-grayce I am!!!)  Anyway, I decided not to get a bathing suit til I lost that weight and so far I haven't lost it (yeck!)  But my hand is being forced.  Brook wants to go away for a weekend and I don't think (wherever we go) that the people there will appreciate my cut-offs and halter in their pool (if it has a pool and Brooks likes pools, so...)  I haven't given up yet, though. I'm making this so that it can be taken in, if and when the occasion arises.  Concentrate on that for me, if you please?

Well, I'd better start getting dinner ready.  No dessert!!!  (maybe a grapefruit?)

March 1, 1975 (Letter from Grayce)

I hope you are better from your flu by now.  When I saw this picture, I just identified with it so completely that it seemed I had to cut it out and use it.  I, too, like the little man, find it necessary to fantasize while awaiting the Lincoln Coach bus to whisk me away to the never-never land of Seton Hill.

Speaking of old Seton Hill (or Frigid Hill as the guys at St. Vincent's have lovingly tagged it), contract time is almost here.  I can hardly wait to sign another year of my life away.  Actually, I've assured myself of a certain amount of leeway t his time.  As of January (or even before!) Sister has been harping on whether I was going to stay, or not.  She wanted to know so she could make her plans for Sept.  I really didn't have much choice.  Brook was a big help.  He told me I could do whatever I wanted.  And he advised me later to quite and look for something else.  (ha!)  I seriously did consider it and he even said if I got a good-paying job anywhere else, he would quit hit job....and retire (no, actually, he said he'd just look for a job where I had gotten one), but so far, I haven't even heard of anything I'm qualified for.  And after seeing Harvey (still working in the pipe shop) I figured I would not find much.  I did apply for a job with an industrial library in Pgh. who wanted someone with 5-10 yrs experience.  I'm sure they had a good laugh when my application came in...oh well..

So -- about a week ago, Sister confronted me with the definite questions.  Yes? or no?  I figured that I had these options:  (1) say no...and be without a library job for the rest of my life and probably get a job at Sweet William's (which I definitely do not need), (2) say yes, and just suffer along with the same hours, the same low pay, etc.; (3) say yes, but...and make a few mild demands, i.e., a lessening of my hours and no night hours; (4) say yes, but...and make some outlandish demands, like a raise, a paid vacation, medical benefits, reasonably sane hours -- you know, really grandiose changes from the present situation.  Well, I wasn't in a (4) mood, but I also wasn't in a (1) or (2) mood, so I took a chance and said I'd stay if (3) and I just expected her to say "sorry, see you" but to my great surprise, she was really trying to help.  She said she'd do her best to find someone in Greensburg to take over my night hours and she did.  So I'm a little happier about it.  Starting in Sept. I will work every MWF a full day and one full weekend/month. The money hasn't been decided yet, but she said she'd try to get me more.  If she does it will probably make up for some of the hours I'll be losing.  And at least I'll have some time to myself to do things -- which is really what I want most.

Also -- Brook will only have to come get me once a month which I feel is the best part because, although he has never complained, I'm sure he wasn't thrilled to death about coming all that distance to get me 3 times/week.

I may volunteer for a few hours/week at Wilkinsburg Public.  Maybe then if they do get an opening I would have a chance.  And if not, I'd still like to work in a public library for awhile.

Lately, work has been pretty interesting, also.  The reserves don't bother me as much as they used to and I'm responsible for building up a new reference collection.  It's fun cause I just love to spend money -- especially when it isn't mine!  Mayr is also donating 1-2 hrs/week to show me how she catalogs so I'm getting more familiar with Dewey which I had never even used before GSLIS (and not too well at GSLIS, either!!!)

Sister has also left any Bicentennial celebrations ultimately up to me -- so I guess that will be pretty much fun. So, Paulie, I will try not to complain so much about this anymore.  I know it must be very dull.  

Here is a little quiz for you:  August '74.  When?  Actually, I know that's impossible, but I hope you do get a chance to visit in the near future.

I talked to Dr. Kolish and she's better than before, so I'm very happy.  She said to say hello.  I don't think she has any conception of how far way you are, cause she wondered why you couldn't come back "just for a day!"  I tried to explain to her, but you know how she is when she gets an idea into her head.  She's really funny.

Contrary to your guess, I'm not a February fan.  I can't remember more than one Feb that has been good and only a few have been tolerable.  How did you get to work when you car wouldn't start? Next February we'll see what can be done to improve the situation.  Of course, our polar bear friends do hibernate -- maybe, since you are somewhat related, you can emulate their good idea?

I must say, your story about the "escapee" really upset me.  For that man to die that way.  It's just too bad.  I do hope your next warden is a better one.

Diane tells me you're starting a tweety-pie collection   You can open up a tweety library, maybe.  If Brook and I do get a chance to come live in Idaho I will volunteer to be your archivist!

I wish you lots of fun in San Francisco -- you lucky person!  That will be an excellent vacation.

Well, I think I'm finally talked/written out.  Take care now.

January 11, 1975 (Letter from Grayce)

I should warn you, that further insulting remarks about my "citie of brotherlie love", "my faire green countrie towne" (William Penn's own true words) will not be tolerated.  From this time onward, I would suggest that any observation (on this subject) you feel it necessary to make be approached with extreme trepidation.  (i.e. walk on eggs).  Hrmph, I guess I've told him!  The very idea!  (putting a gun to Diane's temple to elicit a favorable remark about a wonderful place!?! unheard of!)

Actually, I am trying to my myself into my most belligerent mood for writing another letter.  That letter will go to our friends, Quality Paperback Service.  (Remember them?)  Really, I have only meself to blame for this situation.  I should never have gotten myself into this because this is only just another of a long line of "club" battles that these weary "check-writing", "protest-writing", "don't' send me another book that I don't want or I will kill myself writing" hands have seen.

It all started (the pain in just recalling this may be unbearable!) about 2 months ago when I, in my deluded simplicity, thought that it would be a good idea to take up reading some existential psych. (Little knowing that I might need some therapy in a short time.)  I happened to see that QPBS had a 2 vol set of Rollo May -- so, ...I ordered it -- "in good faith", as Sartre would be sure to say.  Let me digress here, kind listener, to state another part of my case (maybe this will be counted against me?).  In a moment of crazed mental imbalance -- a moment of time in which even I will admit my lunacy -- I wrote to QPBS and actually told them that my address would no longer be at Pitt and gave them my new address.  (Foolhardy girl that I am.) I think that when they saw this, they themselves must have been convulsed with laughter and awe.  I mean, it was really a stupid thing to do !  I even told them my new name.  Anyway--

After several weeks of not receiving my beloved Rollo, I opened my door one day to find a package which contained -- no, not Rollo!) but Light on Yoga!  Now yoga is very nice, but it is not Rollo! Anyone can distinguish between the two, can they not?  Now -- having already opened the package and seeing Yoga I thought that it must be an omen of some kind.  Someone wanted me to have this book and eat up its contents.  So -- I dutifully wrote to QPBS and told them I received Yoga and how much did I owe and the next day I got a bill (obviously before they got my letter ) for Rollo ($5.60 which I had already sent them a check for!)  Weeks passed -- no word from QPBS -- I felt like K in The Castle.  Then, I got Legend in America! which I sent back with a nasty (but not nearly as nasty as this one will be!) letter.  Then I got something else which I didn't open cause they were not Rollo's size.  I just sent them back.  Then, last but not least, came Rollo -- last but waited for.  So I was relatively happy til I got my bank statement and they haven't cashed any of my checks (I haven't balanced my checkbook for about 4 months for which Brook was so happy!). A week ago I got a letter from them and a bill for 2 books besides the ones sent that I never heard of -- myeer!

(Paul says -- when does this end!?)  Now since I'm finished raving, but I think I'm somewhat talked out.  I'm tempted to send this letter to QPBS except they didn't say anything terrible about Philadelphia, as far as I know, anyway!  And then they might come and lock me up.  --Enough!  I'm not very good company today -- am I?  Maybe I can try again later...

12 January -- I have a new dilemma today.  I never did write QPBS.  I don't think it will help -- maybe if I ignore them, they'll go away.

I have been informed that contracts are signed in March at Seton Hill.  Mary (the cataloger who started in August when I did ) and I are not exactly delighted cause we are both committed til August by our former contracts.  I feel that this is unfair since if I wanted to leave I would still have to stay til August but I'd have to give them 5 months notice.  And I can't start really looking for another job now because I can't start working til at least the end of August.  I am feeling somewhat put out by this, especially since this is no great job.  I have really worked hard here.  I know she wants me to stay -- (certainly, where else can she get a "professional" who will work for 3/25 an hour!) - and has said it repeatedly, but I really am exhausted all the time, commuting from so far away.  I'm tired when I get there in the morning let alone when I have to work til 10 and don't get home usually till 11:30.  And the nun herself is so repressive.  She watches you constantly and nothing you do is ever the way she would have done it.  Mary wants to quit but she has six kids and is divorced and has moved to Greensburg and bought a house there for this job, so she thinks she'll stay another year.  Actually, sometimes I think she's the only reason I stay.  We have fun and she's got a really odd sense of humor.  Sister wanted us to help her on this "project" (she's always dreaming up projects which she hasn't the time or the staff or the money for.)  So we were supposed to cut out pieces of plastic to put over certain index entries to emphasize things like see ref, etc.  (Remember them?)  Do you know she wouldn't even let us touch the plastic.  She had to cut it herself and she practically tore Mary's head off for cutting one piece when she (Sr) went to lunch and there wasn't any left.  She's just so petty and I could never stand that.  She's always after me to turn lights off.  I swear the students will go blind because of her.  Oh, here I go again, ranting.  I'm sorry please forgive me.  I'll stop now.

I heard from Bill Louden and he really likes his job at Heidelburg College (cataloging).  Bill Snyder wrote also and will be in Pgh to sign up for the army.  I can't believe he's really going.  It seemed liked so long ago he first said he would.  I guess I'd better get going.  Well, take care.

October 4, 1974 (Letter from Grayce)

Let me begin by answering your questions...(and let you begin by feeling the proper guilt for not having answered all of mine!) -- actually, I'm only jesting -- although I would be quite pleased if only you could tell me your opinion about fate (please?!?).  I know I am a terrible pest (mea culpa, etc.), but if only the kind gentle man (may I sop here and tell you -- yes I do have some point to make, only wait a few more seconds...) what a perfectly (oh well, almost perfectly, I supposed no one is really perfect -- I mean within reason) kind and thoughtful  person you are to take an interest in that woman.  This is the kind of thing you can't say in person very well, so I'm  happy that I can write it.  (Sorry to be writing on the wrong side of this, but what with the paper shortage )

So anyway, please comply (or be pestered completely!  (abt. fate, I mean).

Now (finally and with no more ado!) your questions:  1) tete-a-tete; 2) no, you did not tell me why Pgh was a fantasyland for you.  Why?; 3) no, I never (hardly ever, maybe) capitalize library science -- which brings me to the next question -- #4 ("What is your actual opinion of library science as a career? Be truthful now.")

Let me ask you if you have ever read Plato's Republic?  In it there is a discussion of the real and the unreal.  Plato feels that for each thing on earth there is some perfection which is being imitated.  (i.e.) If there is a chair on earth it is really only a chair, while the chair (or chairness) is somewhere else and being the only perfect chair nothing matches it -- although all good chairs aspire (to different degrees, naturally).  These perfections are form (essential forms of goodness).

Now -- he tells an allegory of a cave into which prisoners are taken (that's us Tweet).  They are forced to sit facing one of the walls.  In back of them (and they can never turn around) there is a "stage" where things and people can be.  They can move and be moved.  No -- I'm sorry.  The people and things are actually in front of the prisoners, but it happens that they are hidden from the prisoners by a roaring fire which comes between the 2 groups.  

Naturally, the fire casts a shadow of the people and things behind it onto  the wall which the prisoners face.  They see only the image and not the real and the recognize the image as the reality.

If they were released from those chains it would perplex them to be confronted with reality.  It would be painful, but it would be "worth it" since they would experience wisdom.

The last thing to be perceived in the world of knowledge is the essential form of goodness (true reality).  Without this, wisdom is not possible, so it is necessary to detach appearances and reality.

Therefore -- library science seems fit to relegate to the realm of the image (the shadow  rather than being anything real.  It appears to be a passive, menial "profession" with very little to offer one who wants to perform a real function.  It does not seem to be the type of work an activist could be attached to, being so staid and dry.

We -- as librarians -- are confined, it seems to me that we realized this before though, if not consciously, then at least in a small subconscious way.  We just hoped for more, you know?  I suppose to finish the comparison, we are kept from really doing (as the prisoners are kept from really seeing).  If we were given a chance to act maybe we wouldn't be up to accepting it -- or maybe we just wouldn't know what to do.

It would further seem that we could free ourselves but that this would involve hardship ($ not mental) and also what else would we do?

I don't know if this makes any sense at all, really.  At this point I'm hardly the person who would be stable enough to see anything like this clearly and you are probably all ready to have me escorted (white jackets, etc.) to the nearest looney bin.

I suppose my job is not too bad.  It is very hectic and I'm not exactly bored.  But by exactly bored I mean that it's frustrating in many ways.  It certainly is a far cry from what I've ever had planned as a lifework for myself.  I sometimes just stop and wonder just what the hell I'm doing at that place where nuns and only other women abound (I like to talk to men once in awhile and I'm sick of hearing about the guys at Vincent's - Seton Hill's brother school).  Every girl at Seton Hill dates someone from Vincent's -- how quaint! how parochial!!

Seton Hill is a cookie factory -- where almost (I have met some very interesting people) everyone is awfully similar.  It's just depressing   It is also a place where not to much (or no) independent or creative thought of any kind is appreciated.  (Do you know that I stapled something in an "unorthodox" way and had to remove all the stuff I did and change it.  I mean how mundane can you get?)  Also I am in charge of reserves which is a realllll pain (and not only an apparent one!)

I certainly sound mean.  I do the vertical file (subject headings, acquisitions, etc.) which I enjoy but hardly ever get to touch because of "priorities".  I also "do" the picture collection which I have never done 'cause of the above.

Also (last but certainly not least) I do the library statistics!  (And nI am not so good at it, either!) and I get to copy them all very neatly into a ledger -- a real scrivener!

(Ah Bartleby!  Ah, humanity!

I'm certainly being good company, well -- anyway, Bev seems quite thrilled about her job, so I suppose there's some good in it.  She (and you, too) are at least on your own.  Although I shouldn't complain 'cause I'm definitely learning something from the 2 people I work with.  (If it's of value remains to be seen,m of course!)

I don't know, I just hope things turn out all right.  (That's the trouble with being brought up Catholic -- always hoping for miracles.  Maybe I should move to New York and hang around 34th Street?)

This week has been been going pretty well -- actually (and surprisingly).  Yesterday, I got to see Diane (who had an interview at the Phila Customs House where I used to work!) for dinner.  It was so nice, almost like old times.  She is staying with Bev in Delaware.   (Bev works at Delaware State Hosp.)  It would really be nice if Diane got this job.  I hope she does; it's really a neat place to be.  Only 1 block from the wharfs -- really picturesque.  Also, she wants to be near home but not too near, so this would fit in.

I took the bus home (horrors!) on Wed.  I met the most intriguing person.  This guy from London who was traveling across America by thumb and by bus.  Her certainly was nice and we talked (nonstop) for seven hours.  When Phila came, (he was going to N.Y.) we had dinner and I felt as though I were leaving an old friend when we kissed goodbye.  It was very strange, but very nice.  He said that parts of my Philadelphia accent were borrowed from very high class (snobby) English, and he was amazed that he was hearing this in America.  (Imagine that!)  I suppose I shall have to tone that down!  (If I ever went to England it wouldn't help because I could never be mistaken for class!)

I think we've miscommunicated about perceiving what others really feel and think.  I do believe it can be done and I feel I often do it, but I wonder if what we think is the subconscious thought or feeling which we are viewing is really only another coverup.  Or a calculated thing?

That's really what made me take up reading cards.  Not so much to inform the other person of himself, but often to inform myself about the other person.  There are insights to be gotten from not only the information the cards give, but also the reactions the person has to what the card say.   These insights are not otherwise readily available for view in any form, let alone a form so easily discernible.

What? -- oh, never mind;  it's a vicious circle.

Right now I am very happy about the wedding and I thank you for you good wishes.  I'm most excited about going to New England this week because I know it will be gorgeous.  I'm sorry to go on about this but It's the only thing (violins, softly  which I have had to look forward to for the past few months.

Please do send me come smpale of your writing if you wish to, ok?  I would like it very much.  Take care now.

P.S.  I haven't seen Kate or spoken to her.  Everytime I call her she seems to be out.  I will say "hello" to her for you when I finally do get to see her.

August 21, 1974 (Letter from Grayce)

Reeves Memorial Library

Seton Hill College

"My home's in Montana, I wear a bandana, my spurs are of silver, my pony is gray."  Little joke (heh, heh).  After a whole 8 hours of smiling at "faculty workshop" and anticipating the same for another 8 tomorrow, it's the best I can do.

Seriously though, I am very happy that you got that job and one which (shall I be gutsy and say it?) you are well suited for (sorry about the dangling prep -- I guess I'd better clean up my act for an English major?!)

What have you been doing at home?  How are you going to get your stuff out -- 2 trips?  Dites-moi! -- obviously, you are going to have to write me in answer to these burning questions.

Now for what I've been doing (yawn, sigh, per usual).  I won't bore you (Paul says good!) with details, but suffice it to say that last week's hassles and tortures took on the manifestations of a terminal nervous disorder in combination with psychotic tendencies in my personality (my hand verily shakes as I write, just thinking of it).  I have decided that I'm either going : 1) to have a wedding which I like (a very small possibility); 2) to have a wedding which everyone else likes (at the beginning of which I will have Ange administer 10 Valium tablets and at the end of which I will say, "Is it over now?") Very likely!;  3) to have a nervous breakdown.  You must have gathered from the above that "keep your head when all about you are losing theirs" fits not me -- but maybe some negative G. Marazzo that exists elsewhere?  The possibility has occurred to me.

Actually, you would be wise to disregard this whole letter -- it being the product of a fevered mind. Living in 3 places in one (yer) (actually, I really do speak English) day, is not good for me.  I don't like change, unless I cause it, and the effect is unsettling.

The grounds here are beautiful and quiet (antithesis of Tower C), just what I need (a rest home?) to put a frew things in perspective.  My room is gorgeous -- has inside oak shutters -- I will try and send a picture if I can (aren't you thrilled?).  There are nice quiet little nooks where one can go alone and think -- which I haven't done lately very much.l  There is a little place outside where you would love the view -- just miles of it.  I will also try and capture it for you.  Maura Hall has lots of neat places.  (Maybe you've already seen it -- did you visit Barb here?)

Well, I'll be going.  I will get mail quicker if you mail it here c/o Reeves Memorial Library S.H.C. Greensburg 15601 ok?  Take care and write when you can.  I really envoy hearing form you.