November 8, 1976 (Letter from Grayce)

I liked the little picture you sent.  It reminds me of something -- but I'm not sure exactly what.

I just sat down a while ago -- all ready to sew some of the quilt (I had put it away for awhile because I was getting bored with it) and the power died -- maybe this is an omen for me to get out some paper & write to  the 19 people I owe letters to!  What do you think?  It seems to me that the more time I have on my hands, the less I feel like writing to people.  It's true, of course, that nothing exciting happens to me, so maybe I want to spare them (& myself) the boredom of writing about nothing.  You are one of the few "lucky" people who receive letters regularly from me -- I don't suppose you'd like to analyze the reason for this?  I must want to punish you in a terrible, twisted way!  You see, I even started your letter first -- to be sure it got written.  Poor you.

When the electricity goes off (which I hope it doesn't do too often this winter!) you get a chance to realize how much you depend on it -- for good or bad.  For instance -- we're going out to dinner tonight because I won a bet with Brook that he'd get a 95 or over in a test he was worried over.  So, I was planning to get a shower & wash my hair this afternoon.  Not too much to ask, right?  Well, it just occurred to me that the shower will be cold because I used the hot water in the tank to do laundry & I can't possibly dry my hair in time without my hair dryer!  Neat huh?  Therefore, I'll make this letter as long as I can to put off the cold shower.  I can't even heat the bathroom because all our heat is electric.  I'm doomed.  Too bad I never bought any "Psssssst" -- maybe IO will now for these little emergencies.  Maybe I'll try a wheat germ shampoo I hard about?  I don't know, though, suppose I can't get it out?  I'll look like I spent the night in a health food store, or something, maybe the restaurant will be mercifully dark.  Actually, my hair doesn't look dirty -- it just feels to me like it is -- so I guess I can forget it.  How to talk yourself into not worrying about trivia that doesn't seem like trivia at the time.

It's nice that you're using your piano talents again.  Maybe I will get interested again someday. Right now I often pick up my guitar & fool with it.  I don't have a good voice, so I usually only play when no one is around.  (That's pretty often that I get a chance around here.)  I love my guitar.  It was a friend's, but she wanted a Martin, so she sold me her Guild for $80 (she had paid $250 for it or $200, I can't remember which).  It has a lovely sound & keeps me company when I get lonely. It's a right handed guitar, so I had to string it backwards to play it, but it really doesn't make any difference except for the pick guard which is at the top instead of at the bottom -- oh, the hazards of being left-handed -- no wonder the Latins referred to it as sinister!)

On Wednesday, I went to 2 cooking classes sponsored by the Intermountain Gas Company.  One was for french cooking & 1 was for Italian.  I asked my neighbor, Betty, across the street, along, because she doesn't  drive & doesn't get to go many place -- nothing is within walking distance from where we live!  She was so grateful, she took me out to lunch at the Holiday Inn between the classes -- which was awfully nice of her.  We had a really good time -- sampling the results was the best part of the classes -- actually the dishes prepared weren't anything too different from things I make myself, but it was fun anyway.  And the other people there (only about 20) seemed to be very impressed so at least they got a lot out of it.

What do you think about your present situation?  Are y ou going to be looking for a new job soon? It would be great if you could get one out West somewhere, maybe we will get to see each other occasionally, after all.  Brook & I just said the other night we'd like to stay out here for about 5 years.  I hope we can.  Let me know if you apply for anything new.  I'll hope that you find something interesting!

I was surprized to get a letter from Wray last week.  He seemed awfully down in the dumps about his being deposed from his former job as "Asst. to the Dean".  Galvin, it seems, told him he didn't know what he did & whatever it was, it wasn't much!  So Wray told him that he (Galvin) was welcome to do it himself & Wray is now just teaching.  (He said to say hello to you, by the way.) It's kind of sad, because I think Wray really tried, but it seems that that accounts for very little at old GSLIS.  I'll have to try & write a cheerful letter back.

Well, I suppose I'd better get that shower now -- brrr!

November 4, 1976 (Letter from Barb N)

I must say that I always enjoy your letters.  I don't feel that you are looking at life wrong because I see the same picture and I also disagree.  Let me tell you that I have felt frozen for the past months but now I feel a relief slowly oozing through me.

How should I start to tell you the events that have led up to now.  I should tell you that our household is going their separates ways in January.  Darrel and Laura share the same room only they are distant friends most of the time.  They don't relate to each other as two people who sleep together should.  Laura has deep religious convictions and Darrel loves to party.  God knows why Laura loves Darrel so much.  Laura can not live here because she has lost herself a long time ago. It would only hurt her more to stay.

Darrel and I could share the apartment together but I don't want to.  My feelings which I now realize are I feel that Laura is a mother image and Darrel would be my brother.  I feel that because Laura is against drinking and smoking totally, I have to hide so I don't hurt her.  But I feel like when I was at home in Warren.  So I am caught up in what I am and what I am in Laura's eyes.

What irritated our household and brought forth the hidden disease is Sten.  Laura and Darrel met him in Amsterdam and he is now here for a two week visit.  I don't know why his presence caused such a disturbance but it seems as if a black cloud lingers over our lives.  Sten has totally disrooted my life, thrown me down to the ground, and spit on my forehead.  I say it is good for me.

Paul, I have this problem of constantly telling my life to others which is wrong.  I get caught up in myself so many times.  I play the part of the fool but I never seem to change my role.  It is easy to speak as I have confessed to the "priest" so many times before but to be honest and change leaves me too weak inside.

I am caught up in religion.  I don't believe that man has to say that I believe in Christ and have eternal life.  Man has been granted a life of God when each entity has the will to live in his favor. We have to break all the bonds and get down to the basics of life.  If we were to understand more we would have to be more attuned to nature.  Yes, man is building a synthetic society, straying far from the course of God.  Even the churches are to blame.

If I could only think of myself and stop trying to reach favor in other's eyes.  This is my fault.  Only I need people like you and Larry who value life.  Who understand more than most people.  I believe most people are committing the greatest sin by conforming to the perverse world.  It makes me want to hate.

It has been raining continuously now for the past few weeks.  One of the main roads out to where a lot of Americans live has been blocked off.  The road fell through.  Farther down the road by the Olivetti factory 1/2 of the roadside avalanched down the hillside and half the road is closed for repairs.  Most of this area is built on lava and with the abundant rainfall this year it is loosening the soil  Destruction is at a rampage in Italy.  I don't fear for my life because I will survive and be a very strong woman.  I do believe I have a powerful destiny.

I bought a stereo for $100 so I have a Garrard turntable, a Sound Design amp (which I plan to sell), and TEK speakers.  I'm satisfied with the set but I plan to buy a receiver.  I also am buying albums.  I have been cheap for so long.  I have 3000.00 in the bank and no debts plus my G.I. bill so I feel justified in my spending.

I am going to come home during X-mas for 3 weeks.  I want to get back home.  I am not sure if I will go to the lake next summer.  I will discuss it when I come home.  There are people I want to see back home.  I am looking forward to the change.

I am going to become a connoisseur of wine.  I am indulging in a few glasses of Ischia Blanco which is excellent.  The wine in Italy is natural without preservatives.  In most trattorias (restaurants) they have their own home-made wine not to mention the excellent pasta they serve.

Paul I get a big kick out of playing the guitar.  I really do enjoy myself.  I am not good but I still try to practice as much as possible.  I have found it very worthwhile.

I thought your beard was attractive on you.  I do have a preference to masculine features and I think facial hair well=trimmed adds to a man's appearance.  I will tell you that I was going to let the hair on my legs and underarms grow out but I felt that I lost my femininity.  I am conforming to our society's standards only I choose to conform.

I will end here now.

September 10, 1976 (Letter from Barb N)

Hello.

So how are you?

I'm getting ready to go home from my mid watch.  Twelve hours is a long time to be cooped in a room without windows.  I'm standing watches with my roommate Darrel.  He is no problem whatsoever to get along with.  When Darrel was on leave I stood watches with Sharon who never stops complaining.  he could really get me uptight.

Before work I made your lasagna recipe and it came out pretty good.  I decided to feat on watch.  Laura, Darrel, and I sat down at the platters dish for a dinner. (Laura is my other roommate.)

Here comes Carrel now and I have to sort the message traffic.  I can't wait until they install the computers so we don't have to hassle with sorting traffic.  The computers will be here on the 15th.

I'm getting set to go to the Oktoberfest in Munich.  It should be an enjoyable time.  There will be four of us in the group.  Crosby and Nash are doing a concert at the festival.

I am anxious to get back to the states next summer.  I really want to go to the lake.  I have been dropping hints.  I will put in a chit next April.  The glamour of life overseas has faded fast.  I enjoy being here but not in the Navy living in Naples.  I feel too restricted.  It really doesn't matter where I go now because I still have a year and two months in the Navy.  I can't wait to get out of this outfit! I feel that I am losing too much "freedom".  I find working with officers too absurd.

Enough of that.

I broke down and bought an album by Firefall.  I really enjoy their music.  My guitar playing is doing fair to bad.  I plan to buy a better guitar and sell mine.  I really enjoy playing the guitar.

I went to Florence a few weeks ago and had a marvelous time.  I really enjoy getting away.  I want to see Venice before it falls in the water.

I was talking to a guy tonite and he was saying he has been a Christian now for 5 months.  He is selling all his belongings and moving back into the barracks.  I don't agree that the way to "heaven" is only through accepting Christ.  Man is put on earth to cultivate and nurture its growth.  I'm not saying we have done a good job but I believe if people weren't so lazy and selfish the world would be a "heaven on earth".  I believe in God and I cannot deny him.  I'm searching for a direction in life. But I believe fervently that we should strive to enjoy the beauty we are blessed with.  It's no sin to own luxuries if they are used constructively and not for impressions.  I don't believe we were put here to be persecuted and if Jesus died on the cross an innocent man it wasn't to shame us but to show us that he served a godly life full of good virtue.  If Jesus died of old age it wouldn't have had any impact on civilization.  I don't want to be frightened into believing I will perish in hell just to accept Jesus as my saviour.  I would rather live a good life full of positive deeds than to run and shout meaningless words to listeners who grow deaf.  Maybe time will change my views.  I am still very young.

Better end here.

April 24, 1976 (Letter from Barb N)

Hello.

This letter should offset the last letter I sent to you in the states.  It was rather bleak and hardly worth anything but a quick disposal in a garbage can.

Mom has been conveying the good news about your homecoming to Springfield.  It seems that the months of waiting has been worthwhile and "Lady Luck" has finally come your way.  There is no bright future in Warren for your direction in life as your stile is a little bit more progressive than what Warren offers.  No matter how good it would be to ave money I would much prefer to "save my soul."  It seems that you have so much at your hands.  The ocean, Boston, the mountains -- skiing, Canada, and all the cultural history of New England.

How do you feel towards your job?  Are you cramped to one facet or are there other realms to get involved in?  I'm interested to hear what you exactly do and how well you have adapted to your job.

Mom said that you are eating with Edna quite a bit.  It sounds like the relatives have been good to you and I real asset for you well being.  I did enjoy the brief visit to Springfield last summer and I found the area itself quite comforting.

I will say I'm quite anxious to leave this navy life all behind and get out into the world.  I feel so sheltered at times by the Navy's programs that leave so much to be desired.  I understand it's basic goals only they do restrict any individual who wants to expand himself through means of his/her own. But I guess it holds for the outside.  At least you have a choice whereas I am virtually helpless at times.  I'm not complaining, tho.

I'm still very uncertain of my future.  I have not formulated any plans of what to do once I leave.  I was considering nursing school, but I am put down by the process of learning through my "rear" (buttocks).  My anthropology course has disillusioned me to an extend in that the knowledge I thought I needed from an instructor I can gain just as well from a book.  I'm not defeated from returning to school.  It is not a priority for me at this moment.

I am sending you a catalog of cameras that you can dream through.  You should be able to judge the prices overseas and in the states.  I don't know that much of cameras but leafing through the booklet I'm sure it will satisfy your fancy.

I bought a guitar and I have been playing or trying to practice every day.  I hope to be writing some music next year or sooner if I progress at a rapid rate.  I met this one guy who plays the guitar beautifully.  I was surprised when he played from Shawn Phillips' "Second Contribution" album, "The Ballad of Casey Jones (?)  Not too many people know of him unless they are farther into rock.  I'm hoping Don will give me lessons.

Have you an album by Dan Fogelberg?  At the moment he is my favorite!  I want to find his first album only I don't know the name.  I have his second and third ("Souvenirs" and "Captured Angel").  I'm sure these last two albums are making him "big".

I heard from Julie in Sweden.  She will make arrangements for my journey to Sweden.  Also was told I would have a warm reception by the relatives.  I still haven't set a date.  I want to wait to travel after the fall when tourist season has faded.

Dale finally has done or served his time.  I'm sure he learned a lesson from the time spent in confinement.  I hope he will use his time to make his life not so haphazard.  It's quite sad that he had to spend a part of his life locked up.  My only apprehension is he will stay stagnant but I am being foolish.  I have a tendency to be overbearing with my feelings towards Dale, especially when it takes so much to reach him.  Did you get a chance to talk with him when you were at home?

I bought Dale a tapestry for his birthday.  It is of two arabs on horses escaping from a palace with a kidnapped female on their horse.  Charlie Brown gave me the same tapestry to me on my birthday only it was in a smaller size than Dale's.

I want to go off someplace over Memorial weekend.  I will have to get some people together and take off.  I went to Sorrento a few weekends ago and up the Almalfi Drive with Doobie (he's 6'8"j). We had a crowd of Italians around us trying to find out about us.  The Italians do quite a bit of staring.  They are very liberal in their love making also.  They are very unique people.

I will end here and add comments tomorrow.

It's a beautiful day and I have a clear view of the Med.  I can look out my front porch and to the right there is a harbor.  It is interesting to watch the ships pass by.  I lie a block from the Med and I get the most glorious feeling looking at the see.

I will end here for now.

Hello again.

You should see the Med today.  Gorgeous.  In fact I should be sitting outside.  (I will after I finish this letter to you.)