July 10, 1977 (Letter from Grayce)

I'm having a great time tonight.  Just got a package of new records from Brook's dad -- so I'm going thru them to see which ones meet with my "approval".  Right now I'm hearing the new  Brian Auger (Happiness Heartaches) & actually, while its better than most of the junk that's out right now -- I'm slightly disappointed.  It just doesn't have the magic of some of the others, at least, not for me. Next comes Michael Franks, one of my all-time favorites -- (are you familiar with him?)  His lyrics are what interest me most, I guess, although I like the music, too.  I'm saving that one for the "wee hours'.

Brook has been at the site much of this week.  He has a big test tomorrow.  What a grinder they put these people through -- 1/2 of his class has quit already -- and the other half aren't too pleased with things, either.  Hopefully, after August, when he qualifies, he'll be spared these long hours.  I feel so sorry for him.  He has no time to do any of his little putterings.  I'm sure I've harped on this before, though, so I'll fermez ma bouche!

I've started a project this week which I've had in mind for some time.  I've been getting Prevention since early 1973 and the issues were really building up.  Also I never did bother to get the index, so I've decided that I'm going to make my own reference source oft of them.  I bought 2 blank bound record books (lined) and am using 1 for A-L and the other for M-Z (obviously).  Then I'm abstracting each article & other facts I consider important about indiv. subjects (vitamins & which part of body they benefit most, herb remedies, etc.) and entering them in the ledgers.  Then, I'm getting rid of the magazines themselves.  I know someone who'd like them, so I won't have a guilty conscience about it.  And when I need some kind of information on vitamin K, then I'll just use my handy (& compact) ledger of facts!  (Of course, it's not a perfect system -- but then, it keeps me out of trouble, right?)  For most of the time, anyway... (I'm on 1976 now.)

This week, 2 of Brook's friends from the Pgh Westinghouse came out here -- not for a visit, but to stay.  They're living up in Idaho Falls.  These are the same two who got us into that rafting trip last spring.  And this afternoon, Greg called me & tired to entice me to go with them tomorrow on the Snake River trip -- (although I'm sure he knew I wouldn't react favorably to this!)  Luckily, I had a splendid excuse not to go -- work!  Also, I know Brook doesn't want to again, so that settled that anyway.  It will be nice having some buddies out here.  The only thing is -- Greg is really crazy. He says he'll get us all to go hang gliding in a few months, but I'll have to be in another dimension before I ever do that!  I'm afraid to go on a ferris wheel!  Of course, this would probably be the perfect past-time for such a [drawing of little bird] as yourself?!

Don't worry -- if you do get a come out here next year, I'll be sure to have the guest room all ready. We do actually have a guest room here -- with a bed, even.  Or would you rather have a perch?) And -- a window that opens -- (not like our other place) -- haven't we progressed?

Speaking of guests -- Brook's parents are coming on Saturday (July 16th) for a visit.  I intend to spend at least the next 5 days cleaning.  (Maybe nights, too!)  It will be nice having company.  We haven't planned exactly what to do  yet, but we will go down to Salt Lake for 2 days (yeah, seafood!) and , of course, we'll show them all around beautiful Pocatello.  I'll probably have to work at least 2 days that week, so that will limit us a bit.

I do wish I could talk to you sometime - but not just talk, I mean -- see & talk.  It would be nice. But then, I probably wouldn't have anything comforting to say, anyway.

I know you are restless where you are, but maybe it will be good for you in some immense way that is not visible yet?  I thought my 2-year stint at Seton Hill had only a negative side, but of course, now that I can put it into perspective, I can see some good.  (Not a hell of a lot, but some!) And your situation, as you know, is not nearly as negative as Seton Hell was -- this must make you see !  (Nothing could be worse than Seton Hell!)   I know that when your debts are paid, Paul the Phoenix will emerge and that freedom alone will make all the difference.

I had a wonderful dream the other night.  I feel like I was under a spell, so I don't really want to analyze it or anything, but a general outline, maybe.

A unicorn was the main character and he was my friend and he told me all these things.  They were puzzles -- and of course I can't remember what was so great about them.  But I remember that I was completely immersed in them and they were freedom-giving, or some such thing.  I just remember the images of this animal and his face was kind.  I just woke up with a good feeling about everything.  It was a very idealistic dream, but I suppose idealism is more comforting than realism anyway?  (That does not sound like an existentialist, does it?  Maybe I'm not one, after all?)

February 3, 1977

I like your stationery (heh, heh, a little joke -- it's the best I can do at 6:30 A.M.).  I just drove Brook to his bus stop.  Today is my day for grocery shopping & bank, etc.  (Did I tell you that we found a bank that actually gives interest on CHECKING ACCTS!!?!!)  6% --  monthly -- according to the lowest amount left there for the month -- a real bargain considering most of the banks around here change $3/no. service.

I didn't sleep at all last night.  I  must be nervous about something-- only my subconscious knows for sure & it's not helping my conscious out at all!  I re-read Walden Two (last night) since there wasn't much else to do.  Actually, the first time I read it, I only skimmed it.  Last night I found out why -- it stinks!  It must have been written with 10 year olds in mind -- kind of on a par with Nancy Drew (or what I imagine Nancy Drew to be like, since I never read any of that!)

I'm starting to get tired now.  Am I just perverse or what?  But I'm going to stay up 'cause if I sleep now, I'll be on an entirely different schedule from the rest of the world!  I realize that this letter isn't amusing (a slight exaggeration).  Have they all been bad?  I don't know why, but maybe it has something to do with not much happening to me right now.  When (notice the positive) I get a job, things will liven up!  Please don't hold these doldrums against me?

By the way -- did you ever receive the Xmas ornament I sent?  I sent some to Brook's sister in Florida & they never arrived.  The post office here is a joke, or maybe the post office in Florida is -- or maybe both?

I will answer some questions.

1.  Albums.  We spent $45 on them before leaving Pgh.  (I had to settle for Best of Mountain since Climbing is o.p.)  Since then we haven't bought any new one.  We do get quite a few from Brook's father every so often.  He works for Warner Bros.  He picks out a few of the new releases that he thinks we might like.  Sometimes he sends jazz & I like some of the ones he sends, but I've got to be in a certain kind of mood for it, you know?

2.  People here seemed to favor the execution -- at least, the ones I spoke to.  It really was a farce! Gary G. tee-shirts!!  I imagine the families of the victims were quite pleased to see people wearing those.  People don't seem to realize that it is not possible to legislate morality -- or even other social actions that don't attach themselves to ethics at all.  I think capital punishment does more harm than good.  If I were going to murder someone in cold blood, I'd be much more afraid of a life sentence in some hellish prison (Are there any heavenly ones?  Ha!) whereas, if I were publicity oriented an execution would sound just perfect.  I mean, if someone is insane enough to kill for the hell of it & allow his victims no dignity, then why should they mind execution -- no matter how gory?  And the idea of showing electrocutions on TV!  I'm sure the ratings will be high.  There are certainly a large no. of crazy "sane" people!  Oh well...I don't really want to make a value judgement!

3.  Gas shortages.  BALONEY!  Gas companies want money to develop more gas supplies.  Gov't doesn't act immediately.  People pay the price.  The usual!  (Recall the gasoline "shortages of 1973-74.  it's all a matter of $ & timing, but mostly $$$$!

4.  I think elec. can openers should be outlawed & all the other gadgets.  We got 2 for wedding presents & they're still unopened.   I hate machines, except where necessary.  Maybe I'm too primitive, but I like opening cans manually & I'd rather walk than drive (reasonable distances!), etc. But most people think that's C-R-A-Z-Y!  I was born at the wrong time...or maybe I'm still living my past life?

We've had a few days with no snow, although it's been cold.  (My quilt is coming in very handy!) The ski resorts here are suffering.  Also, they say we'll not have enough water for farming next summer.  Brook says it's always -30 out at the sites (& that's during the day!)  It's usually not that bad here.  Today it's -0 but I'm not sure how much.  It's very windy here, too.  Just walking out the door, I fell like the cold goes through my bones!

So -- what have you been doing to amuse yourself?  I suppose you've noticed that your favorite month is upon us?

This week was really exciting for me.  Brook has oral exams in 2 weeks -- so he's studying a lot. On Monday & Tuesday, I re-lined all the shelves, and on Wednesday I defrosted the refrigerator!! (ho, hum...sigh)   And at night I sew so I let Brook study without me pestering him constantly.  By the summer, I should have a new wardrobe (& hopefully a job to wear it to!)  I even broke down & made a shirt for Brook.  (He's only been waiting for it for 5 years!)  It's all finished except for the buttonholes which are boring & I hate them.  And it actually fits!  (Which is surprising, since I made it as a surprise & he never tired it on while it was in the works.)  Oh well, so much for the exciting life of G. M. E.  Next letter, if you're good, maybe I'll tell you how I dust the furniture.  (I'm saving laundry for a special occasion, because I know it's just your favorite!)  (Ac-cen-tu-ate the +; e-lim-i-nate the - ).  I do recall that song vaguely, but very vaguely.

Did you try out the spinach pie yet?  If I can find goat milk, I may make some cheese someday soon.  I'm sure it will be a great mess, but it will keep mt out of trouble!  Take care.  I really enjoy getting messages from you.  I'm sorry if I'm a pest.

November 4, 1976 (Letter from Barb N)

I must say that I always enjoy your letters.  I don't feel that you are looking at life wrong because I see the same picture and I also disagree.  Let me tell you that I have felt frozen for the past months but now I feel a relief slowly oozing through me.

How should I start to tell you the events that have led up to now.  I should tell you that our household is going their separates ways in January.  Darrel and Laura share the same room only they are distant friends most of the time.  They don't relate to each other as two people who sleep together should.  Laura has deep religious convictions and Darrel loves to party.  God knows why Laura loves Darrel so much.  Laura can not live here because she has lost herself a long time ago. It would only hurt her more to stay.

Darrel and I could share the apartment together but I don't want to.  My feelings which I now realize are I feel that Laura is a mother image and Darrel would be my brother.  I feel that because Laura is against drinking and smoking totally, I have to hide so I don't hurt her.  But I feel like when I was at home in Warren.  So I am caught up in what I am and what I am in Laura's eyes.

What irritated our household and brought forth the hidden disease is Sten.  Laura and Darrel met him in Amsterdam and he is now here for a two week visit.  I don't know why his presence caused such a disturbance but it seems as if a black cloud lingers over our lives.  Sten has totally disrooted my life, thrown me down to the ground, and spit on my forehead.  I say it is good for me.

Paul, I have this problem of constantly telling my life to others which is wrong.  I get caught up in myself so many times.  I play the part of the fool but I never seem to change my role.  It is easy to speak as I have confessed to the "priest" so many times before but to be honest and change leaves me too weak inside.

I am caught up in religion.  I don't believe that man has to say that I believe in Christ and have eternal life.  Man has been granted a life of God when each entity has the will to live in his favor. We have to break all the bonds and get down to the basics of life.  If we were to understand more we would have to be more attuned to nature.  Yes, man is building a synthetic society, straying far from the course of God.  Even the churches are to blame.

If I could only think of myself and stop trying to reach favor in other's eyes.  This is my fault.  Only I need people like you and Larry who value life.  Who understand more than most people.  I believe most people are committing the greatest sin by conforming to the perverse world.  It makes me want to hate.

It has been raining continuously now for the past few weeks.  One of the main roads out to where a lot of Americans live has been blocked off.  The road fell through.  Farther down the road by the Olivetti factory 1/2 of the roadside avalanched down the hillside and half the road is closed for repairs.  Most of this area is built on lava and with the abundant rainfall this year it is loosening the soil  Destruction is at a rampage in Italy.  I don't fear for my life because I will survive and be a very strong woman.  I do believe I have a powerful destiny.

I bought a stereo for $100 so I have a Garrard turntable, a Sound Design amp (which I plan to sell), and TEK speakers.  I'm satisfied with the set but I plan to buy a receiver.  I also am buying albums.  I have been cheap for so long.  I have 3000.00 in the bank and no debts plus my G.I. bill so I feel justified in my spending.

I am going to come home during X-mas for 3 weeks.  I want to get back home.  I am not sure if I will go to the lake next summer.  I will discuss it when I come home.  There are people I want to see back home.  I am looking forward to the change.

I am going to become a connoisseur of wine.  I am indulging in a few glasses of Ischia Blanco which is excellent.  The wine in Italy is natural without preservatives.  In most trattorias (restaurants) they have their own home-made wine not to mention the excellent pasta they serve.

Paul I get a big kick out of playing the guitar.  I really do enjoy myself.  I am not good but I still try to practice as much as possible.  I have found it very worthwhile.

I thought your beard was attractive on you.  I do have a preference to masculine features and I think facial hair well=trimmed adds to a man's appearance.  I will tell you that I was going to let the hair on my legs and underarms grow out but I felt that I lost my femininity.  I am conforming to our society's standards only I choose to conform.

I will end here now.

June 30, 1973 (Letter from Leslie)

Greetings dear friend!  This week has been really busy.  Dad and I couldn't finish the taping in time for the whole room to be finished so Mom said okay, no more, we will finish it when Robin goes.  So we painted the floor and moved the furniture back in.  Mom painted the woodwork (it's a mint green that looks good enough to eat and the walls will be the same color) and put u the summer curtains so it looks all of a piece and really nice in spite of the unfinished walls.

Robin and Barbara arrived Wednesday night about 2am.  What can I say, it's really nice seeing him and having him around for awhile.  It has been almost three years since Rob and I have been in the house at the same time.  Barb is great and has been and is really good for Rob because he looks fine, happy, and peaceful.  We were all prepared to like her and now we know how great she is.

Surprise, surprise -- Rob and Barb have asked me to come back to California with them and the family says I can go!  Wow, I'm going to California!  I will ride out with them in Rob's car and fly home probably sometime in August.  I plan to buy film for my camera on Monday and do all my necessary errands such as having a physical to send to Albany so I can register.  More on this later.

Last night Blood Sweat the Tears was at Saratoga with Curtis Mayfield.  I had wanted to see it, but didn't have tickets, so I didn't go.  It was pouring rain as it has everyday and night since Rob and Barb got here and therefore it was no advantageous to sitting on the lawn.  This morning there was a review and I'm glad I didn't go.  BS&T had trouble with the sound system and so that messed them up cause nobody could understand the singer plus they were rather lackluster so said the reviewer.  Curtis Mayfield didn't show at all -- his plane was delayed along the line, but his band was there and went on without him.  For another concert he was late so it sounds as if he is trying for a reputation of reliability.

Thursday I went to the movies with Marc, Bernie, and Doug to see the newest James Bond flick "Live and Let Die".  Title song by Paul and Linda McCartney.  I found parts of the film really funny and enjoyed the chase scenes, but it did have serious flaws that one should realize.  The main flaw was that it was racist and used stereotypes to depict the blacks.  The plot has to do with a new heroin supply and its distribution.  The black "dude" stereotype is used quite a bit and distributing night clubs are called "Fillet of Soul".  There are also some scenes on the island where the poppies being grown showing voodoo ceremonies.  Of course the movie was chauvinist and Bond always get his women.  Some of the gimmicks were incredible such as Bond's watch that could produce a powerful magnetic field that would deflect bullets but the worst was when one of the villains was blown up like a balloon with a compressed air pellet and burst.  It was the first time I had seen a James Bond film in the movies.  Roger Moore played Bond instead of Sean Connery.

Monday 2:July '73 -- Hello again.  A friend of my brother's gave him the biggest piece of hash I have ever seen so he and I smoked some last night.  Barb doesn't smoke because she falls asleep.  It was nice -- very cheerful stuff, but I don't think it was that strong -- I don't know, haven't smoke hash in a long time.

The picnic was fun once we finally left the house and got under the way.  The sun did come out and it was really hot.  I went swimming a couple of times.  There was lots of food, but I didn't eat too much -- trying not to be a pig.  I just love riding on the water in a boat, really relaxing.  There's quite a few sailboats and a couple of canoes, both of which I have never ridden in, and both of which I would like to.  Canoeing looks like such a peaceful way to travel and quiet.  I definitely have to go canoeing sometime.

On the radio I am listening to WGY with Ellen.  It is an enjoyable program.  Oh yes -- you wanted to know if the station was like that all of the time or if it was special program -- well it's a special program on Monday-Friday or Saturday from midnight to 5am.  The rest of the programming is much, much more conservative.

Rob tuned up my motorcycle and adjusted the clutch so she was running really sweet.  So I called my friend Chris and asked her if she wanted to go for a ride.  It was/is a really pleasant night for riding -- not cold, slightly humid, and not windy.  The air felt very soft.  We rode about an hour and a half around various local roads -- I felt like Easy Rider just cruising along.

Today I went to Albany to fill out an application to work part-time in the fall -- I hope I will be able to.  Walking to the library I became excited looking at the people and thinking of the new people I would meet and how it is a new environment to go to school in.  I talked to my advisor and made out a tentative schedule. Pre-registration is July 23-27 and I don't know if I will be back from California for that or not.  Otherwise I register on August 24 and am in the second to last group and get what I can take. I don't' know when I'm coming back from Cal.  And I don't know what is the best to do.

Whew -- I just keep yawning so I'm signing off for now.  Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite.

Tuesday 3:July '73 -- Hello -- I've been doing some more thinking on California -- the decision to go was easy but my decision not to go was/is hard.  I've told all kinds of people that I was going but anyway why am I not?  Well one of the reasons is/will be going by myself with Rob and Barb.  They will be working during the day so I will be on my own which would be okay for a few days but then I like to have company when I go to see things.  Plus their apartment is small so not much privacy for them or me.  Other big reason is money -- I just don't have the money to spend freely because of no job and my parents are not able to provide at this time and that would be in my mind so with heavy heart, but also with the optimism which says I will get out there sometime, I have decided not to go.

I plan to pre-register on the 23rd, the first day in the morning.  When I talked with my advisor and had made up one schedule but I want to switch it around so that I have no  classes on Monday and Friday -- want to talk to my advisor about how it is having two classes on one day, twice a week.  Class meets only once a week.  More on this later.

Oh -- I forgot to mention that I sold my motorcycle for $750 today!  Wow I thought I would be stuck with it.  This morning I paid my insurance premium and had it inspected and this afternoon this woman who is a friend of one of my mother's friends came by with Rick (my brother's friend) and bought it and took it home.  So I quick called to cancel the insurance and have to turn in my plates.

Will continue later.

Friday 6:July '73 -- Greetings.  I'm going to mail this today so I'm going to finish up.   Yesterday I bought Get Off in Chicago for $1.99 an am very happy to have it in my possession.  Today I want to buy Jack Bruce Songs for a Tailor also $1.99 and Larry Coryell's Offering at the usual price.  I got Gary Burton Quartet Duster out of my library because I saw Coryell's name.  Haven't listened to it yet.  Will discuss in more detail later.  Take care of yourself.

August 25, 1970 (Letter from Kenny)

This letter will be in duplicate with one sent to Warren and one sent to Minnesota just in case I miss you at one.

I am doing all right and have been having (?) a pretty good time.  I saw the Guess Who last Friday.  The concert started 3 hours late but they were pretty good.  The new Moody Blues album still isn't in the stores here but I've heard parts of it on the radio and it's really good.  The new "Band" albums is good and I'll probably get it within the next week or so, that has been in the stores for awhile now.  Led Zeppelin came out with a new album but I haven't heard anything about it yet.

I'm probably going to go up to school Sept 8 or 9 with Chris.  I'm getting tickets to see the Bway show "Company" on Thursday Sept 3.  But the big news is that this Friday on my last day of work when I should be happy and bubbling I won't be.  I have to have 4 wisdom teeth extracted that afternoon (I'm leaving work early) by an oral surgeon with intravenous to put me to sleep and everything.  I know a lot of people how have had it done recently and the pain has been long and hard.  I expect to be OK I hope by Wednesday.  Which leaves us a problem about you calling me.  Try to make it Aug 31 or Sept 1 to make sure hopefully that I'll be able to talk by then, seriously.  I haven't heard from Tony in awhile so I don't know if he found an apartment.  I seriously doubt it, even doubting whether he looked.  I know two people so far who have recently gone up there and found apts with people looking for roommates.  You are welcome to stay with me as long as you like but, although he hasn't said anything, if it becomes awhile Christ will probably get all pissed off.  You really should contact Tony and find out what the story is. If you do go to Buffalo rather than NYC you can still come here Thanksgiving so don't worry, New York will still be waiting for you.  I hope you find something to live in you Polak.  Try to call if you can either from Buffalo or Warren.  Take it easy and write.

P.S.  Tomorrow is Women's Lib Day so I'm not going to wear a bra!  (ha!ha!)  Some women in the park are supposed to burn theirs.

August 11, 1970 (Letter from Kenny)

Hi there shithead.  What's new?  I am sitting at my desk at work with about ten minutes to kill before I have to go and get some more mail so I figured I'd get the letter off to you I've been wanting to write for some time now.

Yesterday "Sam Goody" a big record store started their annual inventory sale, the prices aren't great (2.94, 3.44) but adequate.  The best thing is that absolutely everything is on sale not just a few.  I bought Bridge Over Trouble Water, Bread, Creedence's new one, and Live at Leeds (Who) and they're all great.  Bread is really the kind of record that grows on you and will probably be one of my favorites before the end of the summer.  Lauren got the Woodstock album and it's really good.  I"ll probably be getting a few more before long.

How is everything there?  Not much is doing here, I got wrecked Saturday night and my mother will be coming home Thursday (89/13) so not much more dope.  I might go see the Guess Who in Central Park in a couple of weeks.  Also will see the Met-Braves game on Aug 26.  This weekend I'm either going to see "Getting Straight" "Joe' or "Woodstock".

Before I forget you Polak you have my Buffalo Springfield album because the one I have is your corroded one with the bad track.

The main thing I want to talk to you about is when you are coming down.  I have a reservation for Sept 9 but hope to get a ride back instead.  If Herbie doesn't go with Chris I probably will although I'd prefer not to because I know he wouldn't be able to take enough of my stuff (mainly my stereo).  So here's my plan.  If you can come down as early as possible in September that would be best, say be the third so that we'll have about a week to screw around unless you don't want to spend that long in "the big city".  What would be really good is if you could drive your little Mustang here.  You would first off save money as opposed to planes and we could both drive back to Buffalo together and I could get my stereo up there.  It's all hypothetical so let me know what you think and nayu suggestions as soon as you can because I'm going to have to make some kind of plan.  I know the trip down here is long, so it's up to you.

I'm home now and have just about run out of things to say, oh yeah I told Tony to get us all tickets for the Jet-Bills game, I'm sure you will want to go but if not we can get rid of it.

That's about it for now big kid, take it easy and regards to Mardi.  Write as soon as you learn how.