June 4, 1977 (Letter from Connie)

Well it certainly took long enough, but I've finally come to my senses.  I'm moving back to Seattle September first.  Probably won't have a job but I'll get one.

I'm so unbelievably calm and confident about the decision after having been so frantic.  'Smarvelous!  This choice is so right.  It's time to go back, and I think I'm finally ready.

Other than that no unexpected news, really nothing more to report.  Drove to Nebraska for Memorial Day to see some cousins there.  My brother and troup hope to get into their new house by Christmas (but that's what they said last summer!)   And the kids are growing like weeds.  Pam is talking about switching from the enormously unsuccessful real estate to legal secretary or some such.

So pal, you blew it.  You had your chance to come just half a continent to see me, and come September you'll have to go the distance!




Bringing Up Baby was on the tube a bit ago.  Love it of course.  But the channel that cut the stateroom scene from Night at the Opera of course cut the scene where Cary Grant has no choice but to flounce around in Hepburn's negligee -- another of the classic scenes of all time.  And because of a thunder storm, had a transmission failure, and missed what must have been the dance number in Astaire's Flying Down to Rio.  Crud.  I just don't live right!

I'm so silly.  Getting so excited because three months from now I'm finally going to take positive action.  But I never said I was spontaneous.

Anyway -- take care of yourself.  Hope you're as calm and clearsighted right now as I am!

May 25, 1977 (Letter from Grayce)

Our trip to Salt Lake was great -- actually any place would have done just as well, I suppose. Mainly, we both wanted to get away.  I really enjoyed the place, though, too.  We saw some films, and had dinners in new places (including a good seafood place, which Pocatello does not have). Actually -- none of the films were the one I wanted to see (Three Women) but we did see Annie Hall (also The Late Show) & since I love Woody Allen, I enjoyed seeing him again.  I feel like he's my friend.  Anyway -- Three Women isn't here or in Salt Lake & I'm assuming it won't be here at all -- so if you've seen it, you can tell me all about it, n'est-ca pas?

As I'm writing this, I'm resting from 3 previous hours of painting.  I'm kind of getting back into watercolors, which I did a lot of before, but haven't done any for a few years.  I had forgotten how much I enjoyed that medium.  What I'm doing, is, just small things of wildflowers that I've seen & sketched, and/or just seen pictures of.  I'm pretty pleased with the results & I have Brook criticize each one -- since I know I couldn't find a more discerning characters!   And of course, he always tells the truth -- and lo & behold -- so far he's been pretty positive about them.  My next step will be to mat them -- which will probably be put off until 1983, because I don't really enjoy that part & it's so tedious!!  Linda (my boss) wants us to go up to Jackson Hole this August to try to sell some of our stuff, so if I get these done, maybe ....but I don't know, I'm such a chicken!!

Work has been really strange lately -- everyone is quitting.  Almost all the department mgrs quit (mostly because of the merchandising manager, who has a real personality problem.  He's overbearing & condescending & also obnoxious (&those are the nicest words anybody can think of!)  Anyway, it's a real nuthouse because all the new managers are new & don't know what's going on & therefore, don't know what I need to do -- when they need displays, signs, etc. etc. -- you get the picture!

The poor head of the store is a nervous wreck.  He's such a sweet man, Mr. Boyle -- and it's going to look like his fault that everyone quiet & nothing could be further from the truth.  I'm worried about him.  He really looks upset all the time.  So the other days, I asked him to lunch with Linda & me. We're going to take him to Jake's on Friday.  (Jake's is a nice place here, but probably not a place he goes to.)  When I asked him, I thought he was going to cry.  I think he's a little apprehensive about going with us, too, because I'm sure he thinks we're both crazy people.  If we're not fighting with people about displays, we're giggling & generally making fools of ourselves in other ways & he always seems to catch us in the strangest situations!!!  Anyway, when I said we'd like to kidnap him for the day, he said something like -- he wouldn't be able to take us for a whole day!  So we told him we'd settle for an hour.  Anyway, I hope he has a good time, he certainly needs too!

How is your sinus condition?  When does the season end there?  Sept? -- that can certainly be an annoying ailment.  Maybe man should have stayed on all 4's - then this wouldn't be known to happen -- also backaches?

I'm sure this is an inane letter.  It's 4 AM and I'm starting to get tired & I have to get up early tomorrow (today) & get Brook to the bus stop.  So....I think I'll stop for now.  I think I won't even read over what's above because it will wind up in the trash & I don't want to waste paper anymore than usual!

Well, here I am again & it's now May 26th, right?  Actually, it was May 26th before, too, but it didn't feel like it because I hadn't gone to sleep -- and you thought that this part of the letter might make some sense, didn't you?

Did I tell you about this book I picked up?  It's called Astral Journeys & I haven't had a chance to read it yet, but it looks very interesting -- and seems like it will tie in with ideas we had of space travel.  So, if I learn anything, expect to see me!  (heh, heh)  Now you'll have to be extra good, since I may be watching you!  Actually, I think the book mainly deals with poltergeists, etc. rather than actual physical travel, but it's a step in the right direction!

Last Sunday, I got this overwhelming desire to talk to a friend.  Brook had been gone for 2 days, so I'm sure that had something to do with it.  I probably would have called you, if you had a phone!!!! It's strange because almost Never do I get a strong desire to call anyone, even people I really want to talk to, like you!  I did call Diane & I think she was awfully surprised.  That's probably the first time I've called her long distance in all the time I've known her.  I'm a disgrace, I guess, but I always feel close to people, even if I don't see them.  I even feel as though I know how they're feeling Y& what's happening with them.  Anyway, it was a dangerous thing to do -- making that 1 phone call.  Because after we hung up, I felt like talking to every one & I think I would have if I didn't have visions of Brook's face when the $200 phone bill arrived!  The phone company should use the Lay's Potato Chip slogan -- "Betcha can't talk to just one?"  I guegss I didn't get quite enough sleep last night, huh?

Well, Ill free you now from this crazyness.

April 11, 1977 (Letter from Grayce)

I just drove Kathy to the airport.  My heart is beating at a normal rate again.  (I had never driven home from there alone).  I can't believe what a good weekend this was.  The last time I saw Kathy was May 1973, and we had been friendly for 2 years, but she's  not a writer (like us!) & other than an occasional call or note, I hadn't heard from her.  Ii was slightly apprehensive about this visit -- but we just blabbered on like 2 magpies from Thursday til this afternoon & we've gotten caught up on all levels -- superficial & psychological & in-between - a really satisfying experience to renew a relationship that you do value, but didn't get much chance to pursue.  It was so great to have company 'round the clock, too.  Bob (her boyfriend) couldn't come, but they are going to come together next time & in a way it was providential since we'd never have talked so much with another person here!  Brook was thrilled -- especially since he didn't have to listen to me for a few days!!

This little insert came in this writing paper.  Do you think I need to sent for it?  I know my letters must be boring & incoherent sometimes (at least!) but I don't think I need "professional" help at this time!

Your letters usually arrive on Thursdays, or Fridays, for me, & I always answer them as soon as I can & I really enjoy hearing from you this often.  I'm afraid my other letters often get neglected, but more of my other "pen pals" don't answer nearly as quickly as my friend Paul.  He must know that I need this continuum, huh?

Actually, I'm not a phone person.  I like to see the person I'm speaking to.  Just the voice makes me feel a great gap!  I know I'm persnickety, but I guess it's too late to change -- and especially at this senile age I'm about to reach!!!

As for your lack of concentration -- maybe it's something trite like spring fever?  (Not to belittle the effects.)  The weather here has been so gorgeous.  I often find myself just sittin' 'n' 'starin' -- instead of doing!  Linda (my boss) & I manage to spend at least one of our breaks outside now, even it it's just to sit on the parking lot curb out back of the store.  We've decided that once or twice a week, we'll take turns bringing a picnic lunch.  (Kath brought me a perfect picnic basket from Bob for Easter -- almost as if she had guessed that I'd been wanting one!)  Another funny thing -- we both  had a very similar dream on the first night she was here.  (Both dreamed that I was late for work the next day!)


I really liked Kiss Me Deadly, as I remember -- but I don't remember too much about it.  (I hate the Academy Awards -- ever since John Wayne won the Oscar over Dustin Hoffman) (I've boycotted them, ever since).  I've never wanted to see Rocky -- maybe I'm just strange -- since everyone else seems to rave about it!

One of my favorites was Boys in the Band.  I love Leonard Frey -- ever since I met him & he gave me half of his dinner!  (I'll tell you that one, sometime!)


Kathy & I couldn't find a movie to watch here in Weird Land -- so we decided to see Thieves (Marlo Thomas).  Brook said he'd throw up, so we went while he was at work, so he wouldn't have to. Actually, it wasn't too bad.  There were a few funny lines, but her husband -- who was supposed to have been in a tough street game at one, looked like a marshmallow, to me -- unlike any street person  I've ever known!!  And to top it off, he played the flute!  (Very well.)  Oh well -- talk about incongruities.  Actually I usually go to movies to be entertained on a very superficial level (is this blasphemy to you?) and only at the worst ones do I get indignant!  (My mother & you would get along great.  She's a real movie buff -- but mostly about the older ones.  She's not ready for most of the newer ones, she says.)


I hope you had a splendid time in my town.  Did you say hello to Billy Penn for me?  Hope so!

Do you think you'll be out this way this summer at all?

December 11, 1976 (Letter from Connie)

I really hadn't written, eh?  Well that shows you how bonkers I really was.  The problem boiled down to the fact that after being so far from everyone and everything I most love, for so long, the idea of being even further away, and apart, upset me.  As awful as it sounds, I would look upon the Eiffel Tower with empty emotion.  Huh.  Looks just like the pictures. I was upset and confused, and upset and confused about being upset and confused, and on and on.  Was a bummer.

The job still goes well.  I got frustrated because the cataloging goes so slowly.  But when I have to be reference librarian, cataloger, cataloging clerk, circulation clerk and page, all rolled into one, what can you expect.  Can't seem to catalog more than about 75 books a week, and that's too slow.  Did I tell you that I've published two subject bibliographies?  Really didn't have any idea of the enormity of the project, when I first took it on.  Well, now I know.  To do a really complete job is very time consuming.

Ran to Seattle, of course for Thanksgiving.  Had a really terrific time, as always.  Ran around trying to see everyone, go everywhere, do everything.  I really get strung out by the end of the week, but of course I love it!  There's so much to do there, and nothing here I really care to do.  Odd, what?

But then, Wyoming and I walk to the beat of different drummers.  After a year, I don't really have what I could call close friends.  Oh, drinking buddies, and people to go to lunch with, but not people who just come over, or to do silly things with (like playing pinochle til 3 AM, or to have a mock English tea with.)  For the longest time I thought it must be me.  But the weirdest thing happened the other day.  Get this.  My friend Terry and hubby and six year old son were all born and raised in Wyoming (about 200 miles from here); hubby graduated from the University at Laramie; they've lived in Cheyenne about about two years; son goes to preschool here.  Both Terry and Rocky are young, personable, cheery people, good partiers (an important thing here), into things like church, and clubs, and classes.  All the ingredients for knowing everybody, wouldn't you say.  (This is a long story, so hang on.)  Well Terry was talking about going up to Sheridan for Christmas, the other day, and the problems they'd have with the animals.  She didn't want to put them in a kennel, and she was worried about leaving enough food out for them for the week.  But couldn't you have someone come over to feed them, I asked?  Well, Cathy (Terry's cousin, who lives in town), is going to be gone that week.  The dog doesn't like strangers, Terry said, and she was afraid the dog might bite someone.  GOOD GOD!!  Do you realize what that means?  Other than Cathy, there's no one in town the dog knows well enough not to worry about -- and that means that Terry and Rocky don't have any really close friends here either.  What a mind blower.. It's not just me.  The rhythm of Wyoming, at least as I've been able to understand it, is that you know people, and party, and go places, but emotionally at least, all but family keep their distance. And I mean, almost literally, blood family.  That's not what I'm used to at all, and up to now it really confused me.  I'm used to people becoming very close, relatively quickly:  with someone you really click with, after just a few weeks, you're running back and forth to each others houses, raiding each other's refrigerators, you pop over for a minute and stay all week because everyone's having too good a time to leave.  Just that whole nonchalant relaxed scene.  It was always like that for me in Seattle (and still is), and it was becoming that in Montana by the time I left.  Getting bit by the family dog is the very least of your worries:  when he barks, as sometimes happens, it's just "Oh shut up, Samm -- don't you recognize me?"   I kept wondering why no one called, why I never felt that the climate was receptive for me to call, or to over, or to invite folks in.  I kept thinking it was me.  No.  I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with this, it's just the way things are here, that's all.  But now, knowing that, it's easier.  I'm not saying I'll stay, but at least now I can flow with a little easier  Until I can leave.

I really love that card you sent.  Don't recognize the scene -- it is "Bringing Up Baby?  Only saw that once, years ago.  If it's not that one, must be something rather like it; one of those marvelous silly romps with Hepburn-Grant (one of my favorite teams).  I'm still so envious of you with all your access to great films.  A few show up here on the toob (shopped all to hell).  And there are a couple of good movie house in Denver, but that's 100 miles away on often iffy roads.  Would you believe I'd never seen "King Kong"?  Caught half or it on TV last night (the last half) - -most interesting.  My friends her think I'm really odd because I won't see stuff like Earthquake, or The Omen, and prefer GWTW or King Kong, or even Bambi. SO I'm weird, so what?

When I was home at Thanksgiving I had a marvelous 4-hour lunch with an old dear friend.  Again people here think it's really odd that I could enjoy spending that much time with a person 50 years old (she was a high school teacher of mine, and has since become one of my two or three Most Influential People, like Ethel Hill).  Ah, what a good time we had (at Boondocks, as luck would have it).  Just to have the time together.  She said something too, about time, that I must pass on to you.  She said that it's commonly said, and most people think, that the most important thing we have is our health.  Health is important, surely, but the most important things is time.  Time to think, to enjoy, to be with the people you most love, to do what you most enjoy.  Health is important only because it gives you the time.  How obvious of course, but I'd never really thought about it quite in that context before -- and how suddenly that idea jerks everything into focus.  It isn't just a cliche -- life is too short to spend minutes, let alone years wasted, wasting the time. Oh, I've gotta get out of here.  The years I've wasted here, off in the boondocks, away from all I hold dear.

In that same line, I talked to Lynne Stevenson the other day.  She's now at Carroll of course.  We agreed that three years in the wilderness, cut off from everything is long enough, is enough dues paid to our profession, enough apprenticeship.  Now it's our turn to get instead of just give.  She'll be quitting Carroll, moving back to the coast, and going back to school in the summer.  And I'm determined to move back to Seattle late summer or early fall.  (Time is short, because of all those Rocky Mountain passes I wont' drive over in the winter with everything I own in the backseat of my Volkswagen).  Unfortunately I can't very well live in Seattle and keep my terrific job here.  So I'll just have to try and find something halfway as good.  I'm going to start looking after the Christmas rush. It's out there somewhere, I know it is.  And I'll find it.

Now you'll probably be thoroughly disgusted with me for this, but here goes.  (But then again, you probably would understand.)  In the ever present search for easy answers, and always  being afraid of making the wrong choices, and wanting the future known and not stumbled over, I went to a psychic in Victoria B.C. over Thanksgiving.  Pam had gone to see this woman before, and had been helped and impressed.  I'd felt I was drifting and stagnating at the same time, anxious about choices made and to be made.  And besides, I figured it would be cheaper than going to a shrink. So I went.  It was terrific.  Whether she read my mind and told me what I wanted to know, or what, I don't know, and I really don't care.  From her at least I got the illusion of objectivity (which you'll never get from friends), and it all sounded great.  She kept saying that I was a very strong person, one of the strongest she's ever met.  (I'd been told that before, by friends, but always thought, this insecure, indecisive lump is "strong"?  Come on, now...)  But maybe I'm stronger than I've thought. And she said, of 1977, that it would be a very good year, with things popping all the time.  That I would move back home, and have a great job, with more money and more responsibility (ugh!) , but that I would be able to handle it much better than I think I can.  So.  (She' didn't say I'd meet a "tall, dark stranger", but she did have good things to say in that line, too!)  All that I really wanted was a pat on the head and a little encouragement to keep me going,k and that's what I got; just a nice objective, You done good so far, just keep going, and, What was good will stay good, what was bad will get better.

(Good grief, this isn't a letter it's a tome!)

Am jetting off the 18th for Christmas.  (I make a decent salary, but Continental Airlines gets it all.) Besides the usual rushing around seeing people, I have all my Christmas shopping to do in three days.  I never get stuff here, it's too much of a mess hauling all that on the plane.  And I refuse to spend four days driving, so I fly.  Pretty stupid, wouldn't you say, to spend all that money flying Thanksgiving and Christmas?  I agree. Fun though!  It's common knowledge that I just plain don't have good sense!

Was just reading through your letter again.  I feel bad that the job isn't going so well anymore.  We both know how impossible the public library thing is anymore.  Hey, just had a thought (and tried to call you -- do you have a phone?)  I know of a public library job in Bremerton, Wash.  A friend of mine is leaving her job there to get four months vacation as a school librarian, so her job there, (or lat least some slot there) will be open, at the Kitsap Regional Public Library.   You could contact the head, Irene Henninger 1-206-377-3955.  Or you could always go back to Montana.  People don't seem to last long there, so there's usually a pretty good turnover....(a joke, a joke).   Would you like me to let you know if I hear of any PL jobs?  Fortunately or unfortunately about the only places I have any contacts are Montana and Western Washington.

As for that piano thing, I'm not very good, although I enjoy it immensely.  But then, considering that I've only really been playing since April I'm not too bad (flattering friends insist that I have natural ability).  I mark it off an enthusiasm.  As for duets, well I do play a mean duet at chopsticks....

As for reading, I go literally months between books these days.  Just can't get into it, or much of anything else these days besides TV and my music.  Sounds dreadful, don't you agree.  I have a bad case of ennui--

My favorite Mae West line is "When I'm good, I'm very, very good, and when I'm bad I'm TERRIFIC."  What a marvelous line!  The best I can say about my letters is that once I start I just keep going, but I have a hard time starting.  In other words, don't wait for me to write, please.

Take cre, and enjoy your Christmas with your family.  And we're going to have to make a point of getting together for those duets!

P.S.  Please forgive the typing, but you can't blame me for the spelling. I have a poorly educated typewriter.

June 21, 1976 (Letter from Sue)

You must've wondered why I didn't answer your letter with your offer to come down Memorial Day - -but alas (w/ regard to seeing you then, that is --) I was in California then, sunning myself by sailing on the Bay -- didn't receive your letter till I got home -- and I was so glad to hear from you!  Grant told me about your job with Merriam -- I've very glad for you.  Springfield is, I'm sure, a good place to live.  I imagine the competition for jobs there is pretty keen.  I assume G&C Merriam are the illustrious dictionary people -- next time we meet, I'll have to indoctrinate you to my new passion -- the Dictionary Game!  (Certainly a more intellectual pastime than swallowing goldfish, mescaline tabs, or chatting with senile sex-starved retired librarians.

I'm sorry we didn't have a better visit when you were her last October.  I don't think I was the Hostess with the Mostess.  It was a particularly difficult time for me, financially, and with regard to work, which seemed enormously hectic right then.  Plus the PLA Conference was, for the most part, was enormously tedious -- so much so that I'm going to give the conference syndrome another crack and go to ALA in Chicago.  I fear that it will be the Y rather than the Palmer House this time, though -- I can't afford the P.H. on my own.  (And naturally, I can't share a room with just n'importe qui.)  I don't suppose you are considering gracing the event with your presence?  (I.F. Stone will be there.)  Let me know if Merriam is going to send you, all expenses paid...

Since we may not see each other in Chicago, and since we didn't see each other Mem. Day -- what are your plans on the 4th?  Our friends Wendy & Ron (you watched Edward 2, or 13th, or 12th, at their apt) recently bought a house & we're planning a joint 4th of July Bicentennial Bash. Someone of your social grace, sizzling charm & scintillating wit would be most welcome.  Of course, the new love of your life (still Binghamton Harriet?) would be welcome, too.

I get this image of you from time to time as one of those ramblin' man types -- sort of a "Baby I'll love you today, but I gotta be on my way".  Do you think you've left a trail of broken hearts from Montana to Mass? I may sound facetious, but I don't mean to.  Actually, the whole male-female complexity of relationship is under review again by me.  I had some revealing experiences when in SF. . I intended to tie up some loose ends, but may have unraveled more than I tied up.  Men can be occasionally trying -- as can women, I'm sure.  Right now I'm into an obsession about trust, which is RARE.  Life becomes very heavy, to use the vernacular.  Sometimes I feel the need to immerse myself in frivolity. Hence one of my reasons for ALA.

I really loved being on the West Coast again.  Like you, I am entranced by the vast spaces.  I miss the physical beauty of central California.  I am beginning to feel genuinely oppressed by the East. (Another reason for ALA -- discreet, year-in-advance job-hunting.)  I don't think I can last more than another \year out here.  Fortunately, the job at Wynnefield (my "twig") is very satisfying.  And the kids make me happy.

For a quick change of subject -- sometimes I'm too lazy for neat & clever transitional passages -- have you seen any good movies lately?  I would list as noteworthy The Man Who Would Be King for the pure adventure & fidelity to the bones of the Kipling story, as well as remarkable portrayals by Connery & Caine.   Also Taxi Driver for diabolical cinematic genius & fine job by DeNiro.  And third, All the President's Men, just cause it was so satisfying to see a good old-fashioned detective story with a happy ending.  Actually, I felt that this was an inspiring film, on a level not created since some of the old 40s films.  I liked it because it wasn't a hype film, as it could've been.  I was also intrigued by Swept Away, which was really very clever in many respects. But I'm really fed up with the whole Wertmuller cult and have no desire to see Seven Beauties. We saw an old Renoir film which I hadn't seen before at the Philadelphia film festival (believe it or not).  La Chicune.  He really is the greatest -- probably even more so if you're French   I think movies are always more accessible in one's own language, culture, etc.  (Cuckoo's Nest needs no comment from me.  It's all been said.  It was in many ways very lyrical.  J.N. is my romantic hero.)

Well, m'dear, it's almost time for my beauty sleep.  And as the Big 30 is right around the corner, Lord knows a girl has to start thinking about those things.  So please don't be delinquent as I was, and write soon Y let me know about the 4th and ALA.  If Mayor Rizzo & the federal troops, as well as Mayor Daley don't turn you on, I'll understand.

January 27, 1975 (Letter from Sue)

At long last, here is my long-overdue letter.  (And the book -- give me you reactions -- I'm curious whether a non-Montrealer will receive the same impact as did I.)

Well, things are never boring here.  Just after New Years, our part was ransacked -- the thief made away w/ my Pentax, which is about the only possession we have, anyway, and Bart's immigration papers.  Happy New Year.  Too bad -- I was just beginning to get into photog.  But thems' the breaks, I guess.

Still don't know about the job.  I have an appt w/ Immigration on Thurs. and will find out then.  The whole thing bores me stiff by now.  But I will persevere!  (for awhile anyway.)

I have been seeing a lot of "flicks" lately.  One of the universities very near to us has an excellent film program -- 75 cents too.  They've had a D. W. Griffith retrospective (in honor of D.W.'s 100th) -- it was very interesting as I've never seen any of his stuff.  Missed the biggies, Birth of a Nation and Intolerance  but saw Orphans of the Storm, complete with a very lovely Lillian Gish as well as a "pussy-footing Robespierre"!  Griffith's montage effects -- the "Griffith sequence" or whatever it's called, are very effective -- lot of suspense.

Yesterday there was a Stan Brakhage festival -- with Stan himself in person.  Fortunately, he was there, or I probably wouldn't have understood a quarter of what he is trying to do (in terms of "document" art, capturing all aspects of "sight").  He is a very unassuming guy, very unpretentious, wit a very kind and articulate manner.  I remember that Immorth told me he lived (?) with him awhile when Brakhage was in Pittsburgh.  (Surely you know of his famous "Pittsburgh Trilogy!"  I didn't, before yesterday!)  What do you know, and what is your opinion, of Brakhage?  I've always heard of him as an important underground filmmaker, but till yesterday knew nada.

Also saw Godfather II which provokes mixed feelings.  Think what Coppola is trying to show in terms of degeneration and power corruption is excellent, but story line and motivation need to be tightened up.  Saw the Emigrants and The New Land (together on a double bill -- quite a viewing feat) just after God. II and it provides an interesting contrast of 2 different periods of immigration as well as 2 different types (rural vs. urban settlement).  I'm sure you've seen them -- what's your opinion?  The other film I've seen recently is Fellini's Amarcord which I liked, with reservations -- it's a little too broad-humored (pun intended) for my taste (pun not intended!)  Maybe it's my Puritan background, but big-breasted women don't make me fall off my chair with laughter!

Now that I've gloated over all the "cinema" available in this cultural center -- what are you up to?  It must be Coldsvilles, U.S.A. in Deer Lodge.  (It has been -15 here!)  Unthinkable!  How is the job -- still freeform?  Hope so -- I know how rebellious you'd become if your freedom were curtailed, and I'd hate to hear you were incarcerated for insubordination!  Didn't you tell me they have Wed. night movies at the prison?  What sort of films?

Has your friend from Boston come to brighten your days and nights.  If so, how are things working out?  I'm sure your heart is going pitty-pat at the sight of an Eastern face again!

Got a letter from Wendell a few weeks ago -- he told me "Forsman left under a cloud".  How intriguing!  I am simply consumed with curiosity!!  He also told me, sadly, that Lancour and Kolish have both had health problems recently.  I guess Lancour had a mild heart attack and Dr. Kolish must be having more of the same problems she had before.

Oh -- I spent a week in NYC at N.Y. Eve time.  Hard-hearted that I am, I left Bart in Montreal as he was sick and had a lot of studying to do.  But I had a simply gala time!  I stayed with Anne (you've met her_ -- who is just back from 7 months in France *and having some problems of readjustment, bien sur).  New York is such an infinite sort of place, don't you think?  Just everything, good and evil, is there.  I fell in love with Little Italy.  It seemed so authentically ethnic -- also very reminiscent of part of North Beach in S.F.  I wouldn't mind living there, should I decided to try to get my bite of the Big Apple.

Apropos of which, I received a letter recently from Elaine -- she hadn't written before as she'd really had a truckload of problems.  Her husband had had some sort of enlarged lymph nodes and they were very worried -- the tests, etc. were dragged out for months, but everything turned out OK as the growths were benign.  What a relief -- I hate to think of Elaine under such psychological pressure -- as we've agreed (you and I) so many times, she is such a tip-top sort of woman.

Anyway -- she sent me a bunch of addresses of library director friends of hers in various Long Island locales -- so if I do decide to return stateside, there will be a lead.

I'm enclosing a clipping re the origins of Halloween which you were grumbling about in your last letter.   (My God -- Halloween -- it's only 3 months ago -- I am a procrastinator!)

Well, shall warp this up for this time.  Write soon -- letters are the boon of my existence.  Hope the hot and cold water faucet of your life (your analogy) maintains an even temperature (but what would you do if, as in our apt bldg, they shut the hot water off?  Hmmmmm?!)

P.S.  Thanks again for you Noel phone call -- it was a bright addition to the holiday season!

October 27, 1974 (Letter from Sue)

Really!  How could you -- how dast you insult my humble, but honest typewriting, that which has earnt me my honest (but more humble) living till I went and became a "professional"?!!  My nimble fingers ((at the machine, my dear) are known far and wide for their skill.  Though the old agility does seem to have worn off a bit of late.  It's just their (my fingers) way of telling me that they do not want to be party to any secretarial jobs.

I did like the ring of Monagahela Queen, though I suppose "Gateway Clipper" does sound clippier....

Oh -- almost forgot -- BIG NEWS!!!!  I found a job.  Not completement what I had wanted, but close enough for the time being; the salary is decent, and it will fulfill one aspect of my many faceted bag of desires...I am going to be a children's librarian in a spiffy elementary school (miles from downtown Montreal -- I take the train at the crack of dawn, and the principal meets me at my stop in front of the Kentucky Fried Chicken stand -- I feel like a combination of a character form Theodore Dreiser and one from Ken Kesey...)  I actually have (or will have) two schools to work with, though the second one isn't assigned yet.  I'm looking forward to it -- I'll have complete charge of the library and all its creative activities.  The principal seems quite encouraging of my desire to do some sort of children's theater.  Also he seems to be willing to be completely laissez-faire with regard to selection, general  policy, etc... Tomorrow is my first day; I'm sort of nervous.  (But then, I never did have your ability at nonchalance when nonchalance is due.)

One of the reasons I took the job (I'm  still having struggles with the red-taped Immigration & Manpower Service re my work permit, so I shouldn't be premature) is for the fact that school-related people get vacation...like summer and Christmas and Easter.  A very good reason to stay within the hallowed halls of academia, though Wendell would have a fit to hear me say it.

(By the way -- re Wendell's remark about "shooting your wad off before you start" -- I vaguely remember something like that, but it isn't entirely clear...What do you mean by "revealing" -- are you referring to, shalt we say, homosexual tendencies he might have?  Or are you referring to his cautious nature?  (Sort of a don't count your chickens before they hatch simile.)  Please elaborate.  Inklings into Wendell's mysterious character fascinate me.  I don't agree that he is a pompous asshole -- just a big pedagogical at times, and certainly a pain in the ass occasionally.  But I think that his heart is in the right place, which is more than I can say for the like of someone like Needlenose (B.N.) -- and I can forgive a lot for a heart in the right place...)

We have been getting involved in several film series (which is something I imagine you miss in Deer Lodge).  There's some good one around -- saw "Lacombe Lucien" which is Louis Malle's latest , and very good, if somewhat distressing.  I am finally going to see Harold and Maude (with the memory of your glowing praise), and am quite excited about it.  Montreal is progressing (I seem to say that in all of my letters -- a somewhat ambivalent statement at best) -- some day's I'm fascinated by the mix of old/old and new/garish -- on those days I enjoy walking around the city, down by the waterfront and across the tracks, looking up to Mount Royal in all its autumn splendor, enjoying the mellifluous sound of French being spoken with a peculiarly North American style.  But other days, I am depressed by the psychic and ecological pollution of the construction which is going on everywhere and ruining the flavour of the city; I become irritated with what has been pounded into my brain as the hostile attitude of the French-speaking Quebecois.  On these latter days I become very homesick for Anywhere U.S.A., and envy y ou in your rustic Lodge of Deer (as the French would translate it.)

I think I'd better continue by hand.  This typewriting is really sick, and probably annoying to read.

I'm glad you're continuing with your writing.  I think it is important.  And I'm glad that you find your surroundings conducive to a satisfying way of life.  This is very important, I think -- I think you're going to come out of Deer Lodge with a well defined sense of time and place -- (I think Pittsburgh did the same thing; for both of us).  It's exciting to have the mobility (and desire) to travel, exciting as well as very satisfying, I think.  Such a perspective is gained by seeing other ways of life and all that cliched sort of thing.  I know I'll always look back on Pittsburgh as one of the most courageous ventures I have made -- and one of the most ultimately rewarding.  (I think there's something -- lots, in fact, to be said for travelling as a single person, as well -- tho the companionship of being part of a couple is nice too.  What thinkest thou?)

Got a letter from Janet the other day -- she is working as an A/V librarian (w/ no A/V budget) in Marty's medical school.  She says the atmosphere is very congenial -- her only (mild, at that) grip is that the life of a med student's wife is not even semi-carefree bliss!  I understand all too well the loneliness for us gregarious creatures who are wedded to students.  (Loneliness in a strange city, I mean, Janet feels much in Philadelphia as I do in Montreal: not knowing anyone.  But it will come.)

Also got a bizarre letter from Michael -- which was mainly an enumeration of all his activities -- he's really becoming BTS (Big Time Stuff) with his interest in T/A, etc.  I hear thru the grapevine that he's not too happy at  Maryland though; however, Blanche is the source of this so -- as Grant says -- I "take it with a box of Morton's and an umbrella as well..."

I'm glad to hear that you enjoy the joint.  (I wrote to my parents about your job -- my father work -- counselling -- w/ inmates of the county jail -- and he says he has a distinct memory of the Deer Lodge prison as a "dreary place".  Is it?  The library sounds OK, anyway...)

Sorry that you and the dumplings of Deer Lodge aren't sweeping each other off your respective feet.  Where's that sturdy, adventurous pioneer Montana stock?  Well, perhaps your Belle of Boston will decide to trek westward.  In the meantime, I know you can be stoic about spiritual solitude.

I must dash off and take my bread pudding from the oven (doesn't that sound domestic?  Believe me, it is.  Sometimes my gypsy spirit rebels).  So I shall close.  Do write again soon -- your letters are a joy to behold, tumbling fatly through the mail slot.

Ta, ta till the next time, when I shall enumerate the no doubt fascinating tale of my escapades as a school librarian.

P.S.  I am a little confused about this Leslie thing.  In the last letter before this, I am sure that you said something to the effect that your relationship w/ Leslie was the most whole or complete, or something, you had yet encountered.  Yet, in your latest letter you state unequivocally that you have "broken off with Leslie for good".  My opinion, should you choose to accept it, is that Leslie's lack of "spunk" has been casual in her current (and future?) "lack of Paul".  N'est-ce pas?  I do think that an ounce of gumption is worth a pound of all-suffering patience.

Again -- I hope that Montana offers some of its famed majestic beauty, feminine variety, soon -- and that you don't get hornswaggled and hog-tied unwittingly into the blessed state of matrimony.  (With the rich rancher's only daughter, perhaps?)  Actually, I know it could never happen to you -- you're too damned obstinate!  (A sterling quality -- just as gumption is!)

May 10, 1973 (Letter from Leslie)

Greetings.  I started this yesterday and decided to finish it while listening to Stephen Stills Manassas.  (I think that is the right spelling -- I'm too lazy to go and look at the album cover.)  I borrowed it from my housemate Pat.  I think I told you about him.  He and Steve moved in when Carol and George moved out last semester.  I got him hooked on Blue Oyster Cult, and then on Fleetwood Mac.  He ended up buying his own copy of Future Games.  I went to the music room, they didn't have Batdorf and Rodney's Off the Shelf.  Would you bring that when you come?



Hello again.  Took time off to watch the Knicks vs. the Lakers.  What a good game.  Did you see the Dunwich Horror Monday night?  I didn't watch it on Monday, but I had seen it before.  What a good horror story -- based on a story by H. P. Lovecraft.  Yesterday I went to see "Man with the X-Ray Eyes" starring Ray Milland.  The dialogue was really bad but the plot line is okay.  In the end his eyes each become a solid black pupil and they receive so much light (are sensitive to it) that Milland no longer knows darkness.  He ends up wandering to a church revival group and the preacher tells him -- if thin eye offend thee, pluck it out -- which he does and that is the end of the movie.  Tomorrow I'm going to see Deliverance, finally.  Hope I enjoy it.  It is getting late so I am going to end here.  I'm really sorry that you could not come this weekend but I will be very glad to see you whenever you can come.  Take care of yourself . Hope work goes okay.