March 31, 1977 (Letter from Sue)

I know -- it seems unforgivable, doesn't it?  Actually, your guess that I've been plotting my escape to the West is not far wrong.  I was in Calif. for a month and that is the reason you haven't heard from me -- your letter was awaiting upon my return.  I would love to see you again -- the wknd you mentioned, however, I will be again in Calif. (an oral civil service exam for S. Mateo County.)  We'll have to wait til later in the spring.

California was a heady experience.  I always revert to my personality of lazy decadence when I go out.  I was trying my damnedest to coolly & efficiently track down job leads -- but kept getting sidetracked by the pursuit of pleasure.  My friend Sally & I adventured in San Diego one weekend to visit an old flame of hers who is now in the Navy.  I had a most unforeseen, unexpected tryst with another young Naval officer.  I, who have always scoffed at the military. Now I wish I'd plied your sister with questions.  I also managed to burn a few bridges that had been rotting for some time.  I cleaned up my act, in other words.

Speaking of cleaning up one's act -- did I tell you about my adventure w/ E. Baker @ Midwinter?  Obviously not, since you haven't heard from me in 6 months.  We made arrangements to see one another but he again got caught up w/ busy business -- though this time he finally showed.  "Enough" I cried.  What a ridiculous situation.  The only thing that appeals to me about him is his looks -- and also, an aura of energy & power-drive which he exudes.  Otherwise, he's a pretty egotistical cookie, which is OK, I suppose, but I always become too enraged for that type.  I absolutely despise, detest & loathe being either stood up or made to wait an inordinate amount of time.  So I guess my extremely erratic fling with Mr. B has wound down.  It's much better this way -- much more calm & rational for me.

I'm glad you're feeling comfortable w/ your job situation.  It's easy to feel wanderlust after 6 months to a year, but as you deduced, moving on whenever you feel the urge really gets you in very unstable job conditions.  (Unless maybe you're a musician.)  In most jobs, I think one has to "invest" some time in order to move on with clarity.

My job situation is actually fine.  In lots of ways, I should heed those words I wrote in the above paragraph,  If I were to stay @ the library, I'm sure I could advance to whatever I might want.  I like where I'm working now & with whom.  If only this library system were suddenly transported to Calif, everything would be peachy.  But alas -- the grass seems to be greener out there (though w/ the drought, that won't last too long), so I've gotta move along.  I've been away form my family too long.  I'm sure you can understand that feeling.

[By the way, did you read that Rolling Stone article (sometime in Feb.) about 3 strange suicides of the boys in Oil City?  Know anything about that?]

I haven't seen much movie-wise lately except Rock which I found delivered what it promised.  Implausible story, but very uplifting.  I think Sylvester Stallone is my new man -- he has a touch of ironic genius.  I thought he was hilarious @ the Oscars.  Was disappointed in The Last Tycoon.  Thought Bound for Glory was beautiful but too pat & glorified.  The new Tanner film -- Jonah Will Be 25 in the Year 2000 is probably the best thing I've seen in the last 6 mos.  How 'bout you?

Well, Paul -- I hope you've forgiven me.  Let's try to get together some time this spring (before it gets too jungle-like humid).

P.S.  You aren't, by chance, tempted by the glamorous prospect of attending ALA in Detroit???

June 21, 1976 (Letter from Sue)

You must've wondered why I didn't answer your letter with your offer to come down Memorial Day - -but alas (w/ regard to seeing you then, that is --) I was in California then, sunning myself by sailing on the Bay -- didn't receive your letter till I got home -- and I was so glad to hear from you!  Grant told me about your job with Merriam -- I've very glad for you.  Springfield is, I'm sure, a good place to live.  I imagine the competition for jobs there is pretty keen.  I assume G&C Merriam are the illustrious dictionary people -- next time we meet, I'll have to indoctrinate you to my new passion -- the Dictionary Game!  (Certainly a more intellectual pastime than swallowing goldfish, mescaline tabs, or chatting with senile sex-starved retired librarians.

I'm sorry we didn't have a better visit when you were her last October.  I don't think I was the Hostess with the Mostess.  It was a particularly difficult time for me, financially, and with regard to work, which seemed enormously hectic right then.  Plus the PLA Conference was, for the most part, was enormously tedious -- so much so that I'm going to give the conference syndrome another crack and go to ALA in Chicago.  I fear that it will be the Y rather than the Palmer House this time, though -- I can't afford the P.H. on my own.  (And naturally, I can't share a room with just n'importe qui.)  I don't suppose you are considering gracing the event with your presence?  (I.F. Stone will be there.)  Let me know if Merriam is going to send you, all expenses paid...

Since we may not see each other in Chicago, and since we didn't see each other Mem. Day -- what are your plans on the 4th?  Our friends Wendy & Ron (you watched Edward 2, or 13th, or 12th, at their apt) recently bought a house & we're planning a joint 4th of July Bicentennial Bash. Someone of your social grace, sizzling charm & scintillating wit would be most welcome.  Of course, the new love of your life (still Binghamton Harriet?) would be welcome, too.

I get this image of you from time to time as one of those ramblin' man types -- sort of a "Baby I'll love you today, but I gotta be on my way".  Do you think you've left a trail of broken hearts from Montana to Mass? I may sound facetious, but I don't mean to.  Actually, the whole male-female complexity of relationship is under review again by me.  I had some revealing experiences when in SF. . I intended to tie up some loose ends, but may have unraveled more than I tied up.  Men can be occasionally trying -- as can women, I'm sure.  Right now I'm into an obsession about trust, which is RARE.  Life becomes very heavy, to use the vernacular.  Sometimes I feel the need to immerse myself in frivolity. Hence one of my reasons for ALA.

I really loved being on the West Coast again.  Like you, I am entranced by the vast spaces.  I miss the physical beauty of central California.  I am beginning to feel genuinely oppressed by the East. (Another reason for ALA -- discreet, year-in-advance job-hunting.)  I don't think I can last more than another \year out here.  Fortunately, the job at Wynnefield (my "twig") is very satisfying.  And the kids make me happy.

For a quick change of subject -- sometimes I'm too lazy for neat & clever transitional passages -- have you seen any good movies lately?  I would list as noteworthy The Man Who Would Be King for the pure adventure & fidelity to the bones of the Kipling story, as well as remarkable portrayals by Connery & Caine.   Also Taxi Driver for diabolical cinematic genius & fine job by DeNiro.  And third, All the President's Men, just cause it was so satisfying to see a good old-fashioned detective story with a happy ending.  Actually, I felt that this was an inspiring film, on a level not created since some of the old 40s films.  I liked it because it wasn't a hype film, as it could've been.  I was also intrigued by Swept Away, which was really very clever in many respects. But I'm really fed up with the whole Wertmuller cult and have no desire to see Seven Beauties. We saw an old Renoir film which I hadn't seen before at the Philadelphia film festival (believe it or not).  La Chicune.  He really is the greatest -- probably even more so if you're French   I think movies are always more accessible in one's own language, culture, etc.  (Cuckoo's Nest needs no comment from me.  It's all been said.  It was in many ways very lyrical.  J.N. is my romantic hero.)

Well, m'dear, it's almost time for my beauty sleep.  And as the Big 30 is right around the corner, Lord knows a girl has to start thinking about those things.  So please don't be delinquent as I was, and write soon Y let me know about the 4th and ALA.  If Mayor Rizzo & the federal troops, as well as Mayor Daley don't turn you on, I'll understand.

March 9, 1975 (Letter from Sue)

Thanks so much for the Art Deco book and also your long letter!  The more I see of A.D., the more interested I become in the design form.  I like the simple, uncluttered geometric form -- some of the A.D. stuff is really bad kitsch  but other of the general period (and there are so many individual styles) is quite good, I think.

Sorry it's taken me so long to write -- by the way, your letter, mailed either Feb 2 or Feb 9, didn't reach me till Feb 20! -- but I've been on the prowl again.  My work permit was denied for the second time.  This time cause the job I'd been hired for was part-time (such illogic in their logic).  So I decided enough was enough, and decided to scout around in New York and vicinity -- and besides, I was going down to see Kurt and Anne, anyway.

So I contacted the Long Island Library directors whom Elaine had mentioned to me, and set forth. In a week I had 5 interviews, much train travel, and a power-packed personal situation.  (Kurt and Anne split up -- amicably and temporarily -- while I was there and I spent the last weekend of my stay alone with Kurt.)

I also spent a night on L.I. at Elaine's -- met her husband, who put me on the grill for 3 hours regarding my marital situation and why I would leave Bart in Montreal and come to NY alone to live (money is one answer; right to work is a second; being in the land of the free and the home of the brave is a third) -- but he wasn't buying any of that.  The Seatons are really oriented toward nuclear family relationships, though Elaine is very curious about alternate lifestyles, which is why I think we became friends in the first place.  And don't forget, when we first met her she was with Lionel! All in all, I had a very interesting evening chez Seaton and it was great to see Elaine again.  She was somewhat pressured by upcoming budget and also paper deadlines for her management class (she's working toward MBA) but she remained a gracious hostess.  Their lifestyle is nicely unpretentious -- upper-middle class, but compared with other Long Islanders, I'm sure they play it very low-key.  I really don't  know what Bob Seaton does, except that he's a self-made man from Chicago and that he loves plants.  And that he has his own business.

Elaine is one of the very few women library directors around on Long Island -- I met 4 of her colleagues or cohorts (if you prefer) quite a variety   2 were Southern and 2 were N.Y. area 2nd generation Italian.  The Italians and I hit it off best -- and they also had the most interesting -- and wealthy -- libraries.  The Port Washington (P.W. is the East Egg of Gatsby) gave me the best reception -- the director met me at the train station and took me to lunch, as well as giving me a complete tour -- the library is incredible.  Loads of artwork -- very rich (tax base is $23 per capita as compared to usual $5 per cap) and an extensive video facility whereby the community can come in and be trained in video techniques, borrow equipment and make their own tapes.  Very active community program.  P.W., though tres riche, also has a black and P.R. community which is poor -- great economic disparity -- the library is trying to meet these people as well.  The director liked me, I'm fairly sure, but -- no openings at the moment.  Same thing at Great Neck, where the library director, Joe Covino, is very controversial -- very political -- sort of a high class John Forsman in his informality.  He has a special youth facility -- a big room, built on split levels, w/ coke machines, cig machines, paperbacks, lunging areas -- the kids (many blacks, bussed in, as library is situation in "Great Neck Estates") can be alone.  Rather innovative, I thought.  I think either of these men would hire me if they had an opening -- but --

Also went to Levittown (the prototype of suburban living -- designed just after WWII, and an ugly place, in my opinion -- but I don't especially like uniform suburbs).  The director was helpful in giving me leads, but no openings and I wouldn't wanna work there anyway.  Later in the week I went to Phila -- Free Library has a couple of children's openings -- it's civil service there, so I had to take a test -- you get put on a list and depending on your ranking become eligible.  The woman in charge of children's work was very interesting -- about Mrs. Hodges' age, but less formal and somewhat theatrical -- she said she "wanted" me, but all depends on my civil service score.

Saw Janet in Phila -- she seems to be herself -- her library is new and snazzy and is where Marty goes to school, so that's nice.  They have a good apt and seem to be very together except that Marty has to study so much.  It was great to see Janet again -- she always gives me a sense of perspective.

Back to the Big Apple for some exciting nightlife (Black Russians at the Plaza -- the drink, that is, not a Soviet version of George Grant -- thrilled my bourgeois little heart) and then back on up to frozen Quebec.

I am now doing some freelance consultant work for Special Libraries here -- 2 jobs:  one is to set up a small technical library for British Petroleum; I spent a day looking over their stuff and know how I want to organize it -- all I have to do now is write a proposal -- I have as hard a time getting motivated for this as I did for Wendell's papers.  They'll pay me for the time I've spent in their offices, my "research" (I can pad a little, can't I?), and may or may not hire me for 6-8 weeks to actually set the thing up.  It's kinda interesting because it's a challenge to organize, especially in an area about which I know nada (turbo engines are not one of my strong points, needless to say).

The other job I'm doing is weeding an old stuffy, musty and dusty collection in a former T.B. sanitarium!  The best part is that I stay up there during the week in the residence hall -- just me and about 4 over 40 nurses.  (Sorry I can't report on more lascivious surroundings!)  The collection is incredible -- books like "Three Who Dared Escape:  One Family's Incredible Story of POW Life"; "The Purple Rose:  Cynthia's Love and Adventure in the Peruvian Mountains" (Peru and N.Y. cafe society are big in the romance-adventure genre) and "The Jap Menace".  I'm dumping about half of what they have -- but I become so fascinated I start reading half the books -- some good escapist froth.  I don't think they have one book written after 1962 -- and few after 1955.  No talking or large print books.  The sanitarium is in the Laurentian mountains, so it's very snowy and beautiful -- I fell like a character from Thomas Mann (or maybe "Sue Barton, Student Nurse").

All in all, life has become a bit more varied.  I do plan to go to N.Y. again (I fear I'm addicted) when I finish these jobs.  I would like to live in the U.S. -- I'm sure of that.

So, my dear, you are now "au courant".  And you?  Are you bearing up under the Montana winter? Good you've found some diversion in the name of Debbie.  And Barb arrives when?  Don't worry, these situations, messy as they seem in contemplation, tend to work themselves out in the reality of the moment.  Do you think Debbie feels involved (seriously so) with you?  The main thing, I think, is not to allow the woman to feel used.  Words of wisdom from the woman of experience (jestfully speaking, of course).

It's too bad you are movie-isolated.  It would be very frustrating.  The carving for the visual experience of film can be an addition, especially if you've been cut off.  The latest I've seen is Scorcese's Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore -- I'm sure you've read Pauline's review -- and it is a terrific movie, all in all!  Quite a breakthrough, in terms of being from a woman's point of view.  I'm not thrilled about the ending, but overall I think the delineation of Ellyn Burstyn's relationship to her son (brilliant performance by Alfred Lutter), her job, the women she works with, are stupendous. Really a portrait of how a woman handles herself -- I think Scorcese will be as good (if not better) than Altman someday.  He has a tremendous sense of place -- his New York in Mean Streets and his SW USA (New Mexico and Arizona, with a very surreal-kitschy Monterey in the beginning, providing a nice backdrop of memory for the central character )( are just right-on.

Yes, I have seen Calif Split -- excellent.  Compare it with the Redford-Newman films (similar in the sense of male camaraderie) and the Gould-Segal duo has far more depth.  Would like to see it again -- I may not have fully appreciated it the first viewing.  The Long Goodbye, though, I feel is a masterpiece particularly if you are familiar w/ Raymond Chandler's book.  Altman says Chandler fans hate T.L.G., because it shatters the concept of the romantic loner -- but I think (and I am a Chandler Fan) the film is brilliant in bringing the 50's book up to the 70's.  What Scorcese does for place, Altman does for time -- he captures the essence of a period.  Both are uniquely American directors I feel.

Glad you found the Fennario book at least of interest.  He is now a playwright in residence for the major English-speaking theater in Montreal.  The book probably had a greater impact for me than for you because of the description of Montreal life.  I'm sure you've finished it by now -- give me a final review.

Hope you're continuing seriously with your writing.  I think you've got something going there -- and should ultimately try for publication.  (Just a thought:  have you thought of submitting some sort of "journal of a prison libn." to LJ or WLB?  Or does that interest you?)  If you ever have some material you'd like to have someone else read or critique, I'd be very glad to.

Well, my dear -- must try to whip off some sort of proposal for setup of a small technical library. How thrilling.  But my philosophy is -- get while you can!  ($, that is.)

Do write soon and let me know how all is in your "beautiful but backward state".

P.S.  Some gossip (which may be confidential, so beware, a slip of the lip may sink a ship, or something.)  Received a letter from Carmelle who recently had an abortion (she hasn't used any B.C. of any sort for the last 2  years -- never got pregnant, so thought she never could) she's come out of it fine. She's also working as a sub school libn, which is good, and jetting around to Acapulco and New Orleans with her new beau -- and presumably now using B.C.

February 7, 1975 (Letter from Grayce)

This is the closest I could get to Sweden.  I just don't like to see such nice pictures go to waste and we get so many of them at the library.  Be prepared!  You just never know what may turn up next....

I think I have reached (although I never thought it possible) a new level of boredom.  I am sick, again!  I don't understand it, at all.  I usually get sick once a year, right before Xmas and I've already done that this year.

Brook was very sick at New Year's and I was rather pleased with myself that I never got what he had -- until now, anyway.  I have exactly the same symptoms and they have appeared in exactly the same sequence.  We figure that this bug must have a month of more incubation time.

On Wednesday, I got up early and went to the bank and all of a sudden when I got home I felt terrible but I was still going to work.  But by 2:30 when I started to get ready, I knew I would never make it up the hill.  So I called in sick and I've been in bed ever since.  On Wednesday night I had a very high fever (102) and had terrible dreams.  I can't remember them but I remember that they were frightening.  Now the fever is gone, but my throat is really raw and I have a cough.

I've read 2 books (long ones) and I'm being subjected to daytime TV (yech!)  Pgh doesn't show old movies in the afternoons the way Philly does.  So I watched "Rolling for Dollars", "Hollywood Squares" and the 12 o'clock news (a little bit of reality, you understand).

Now "Split Second" is on -- it's not so bad because the questions are pretty interesting.  Of course, the commercial are great.  I've just been told how to cope with "The Naked Hamburger". Actually, all of this would not be so bad, if only I felt like doing something.  I just have no energy or strength.

I think on the news last night that it was -11 in Montana.  A warm spell, huh?

9 February 1975 - Well, here I am, again!  I feel much better today.  Yesterday I thought I would go mad.  It was Saturday and the first day I didn't feel like death warmed over and Brook was home to keep me company and things were starting to look up.  (For awhile, anyway!)  Brook and I decided to play Scrabble.  (This is one of the few games I am really competitive about.)  Now, Brook doesn't like "words" in the same way that I don't like "numbers" so it involves considerable sacrifice for him to play Scrabble.  But he's very good at it (he plays "strategically" if you can believe that!) and I really have to think hard to keep up with him.  Anyway, w hen Brook got a 64! point word yesterday!!!I got so excited I tried to jump up and being in a semi-lotus pose I pulled a muscle in my side.  I really saw stars.  I couldn't stand up straight for almost an hour.  Actually,l this wasn't very funny,  but it seemed so hysterical at the time.  I seem to be ok now (knock wood).  I've just never had so many things wrong with me at one time.  I'm such a klutz!  Brook said I have to be the only person on earth to hurt herself playing Scrabble.

10 February - I guess this is another bits and pieces effort.  It's really cold (for here).  I don't know firsthand since I can't go out, but on the news they said that parts of western Pa had -20 weather last night.  It was only -3 in Pgh -- but that's not too common here, either.

I haven't been to GSLIS since before Christmas.  I hope Kate isn't really bad.  I'll call her today. She's awfully hard to reach by phone, though.

You dream sounds pretty scary.  My grandmother says when you have a dream about death it means good luck!  And if you dream about a baby then death is involved.  I don't know. My grandmother definitely is psychic.  This is just one instance.  When I was in a car accident, she was at this resort at the shore she goes to for a month each year.  There is no phone and no one called her because she didn't know and they didn't want her to worry.  The next morning she was at Bryn Mawr hospital to see me!  (Bryn Mawr is near Villanova and at least 15 miles from where my parents live and even if she knew I was in a hospital, she would never know which one. When I told my parents she had come, they were astounded!  When I asked her how she knew, she just smiled her queer little smile and said "I knew">  Whew!  My father said she almost always knew everything when they were little, too.  Remind me sometime to tell you about her silverware set.

I think your philosophy of work is great.  I mean, why should a fight increase someone's sentence when if they had a scuffle on the street someone would just break it up and everyone would go home and no trouble  right?  Don't worry -- who would I tell?

How is Sue?  What's she doing? Wasn't Forsman's contract dropped?  That's the only thing I heard.  I never really cared anyway.  I think Forsman has more problems than someone who is trying to "change things" should have.

Well -- another letter.  By the way, I get home around 11:00 on Wednesday nighits.

P.S.  I finally broke down and bought a loom!  I'm so excited I can hardly see straight!  It's small (20") and it's primitive but it was dirt cheap ($20).  Spendo the magnificent lives!

January 27, 1975 (Letter from Sue)

At long last, here is my long-overdue letter.  (And the book -- give me you reactions -- I'm curious whether a non-Montrealer will receive the same impact as did I.)

Well, things are never boring here.  Just after New Years, our part was ransacked -- the thief made away w/ my Pentax, which is about the only possession we have, anyway, and Bart's immigration papers.  Happy New Year.  Too bad -- I was just beginning to get into photog.  But thems' the breaks, I guess.

Still don't know about the job.  I have an appt w/ Immigration on Thurs. and will find out then.  The whole thing bores me stiff by now.  But I will persevere!  (for awhile anyway.)

I have been seeing a lot of "flicks" lately.  One of the universities very near to us has an excellent film program -- 75 cents too.  They've had a D. W. Griffith retrospective (in honor of D.W.'s 100th) -- it was very interesting as I've never seen any of his stuff.  Missed the biggies, Birth of a Nation and Intolerance  but saw Orphans of the Storm, complete with a very lovely Lillian Gish as well as a "pussy-footing Robespierre"!  Griffith's montage effects -- the "Griffith sequence" or whatever it's called, are very effective -- lot of suspense.

Yesterday there was a Stan Brakhage festival -- with Stan himself in person.  Fortunately, he was there, or I probably wouldn't have understood a quarter of what he is trying to do (in terms of "document" art, capturing all aspects of "sight").  He is a very unassuming guy, very unpretentious, wit a very kind and articulate manner.  I remember that Immorth told me he lived (?) with him awhile when Brakhage was in Pittsburgh.  (Surely you know of his famous "Pittsburgh Trilogy!"  I didn't, before yesterday!)  What do you know, and what is your opinion, of Brakhage?  I've always heard of him as an important underground filmmaker, but till yesterday knew nada.

Also saw Godfather II which provokes mixed feelings.  Think what Coppola is trying to show in terms of degeneration and power corruption is excellent, but story line and motivation need to be tightened up.  Saw the Emigrants and The New Land (together on a double bill -- quite a viewing feat) just after God. II and it provides an interesting contrast of 2 different periods of immigration as well as 2 different types (rural vs. urban settlement).  I'm sure you've seen them -- what's your opinion?  The other film I've seen recently is Fellini's Amarcord which I liked, with reservations -- it's a little too broad-humored (pun intended) for my taste (pun not intended!)  Maybe it's my Puritan background, but big-breasted women don't make me fall off my chair with laughter!

Now that I've gloated over all the "cinema" available in this cultural center -- what are you up to?  It must be Coldsvilles, U.S.A. in Deer Lodge.  (It has been -15 here!)  Unthinkable!  How is the job -- still freeform?  Hope so -- I know how rebellious you'd become if your freedom were curtailed, and I'd hate to hear you were incarcerated for insubordination!  Didn't you tell me they have Wed. night movies at the prison?  What sort of films?

Has your friend from Boston come to brighten your days and nights.  If so, how are things working out?  I'm sure your heart is going pitty-pat at the sight of an Eastern face again!

Got a letter from Wendell a few weeks ago -- he told me "Forsman left under a cloud".  How intriguing!  I am simply consumed with curiosity!!  He also told me, sadly, that Lancour and Kolish have both had health problems recently.  I guess Lancour had a mild heart attack and Dr. Kolish must be having more of the same problems she had before.

Oh -- I spent a week in NYC at N.Y. Eve time.  Hard-hearted that I am, I left Bart in Montreal as he was sick and had a lot of studying to do.  But I had a simply gala time!  I stayed with Anne (you've met her_ -- who is just back from 7 months in France *and having some problems of readjustment, bien sur).  New York is such an infinite sort of place, don't you think?  Just everything, good and evil, is there.  I fell in love with Little Italy.  It seemed so authentically ethnic -- also very reminiscent of part of North Beach in S.F.  I wouldn't mind living there, should I decided to try to get my bite of the Big Apple.

Apropos of which, I received a letter recently from Elaine -- she hadn't written before as she'd really had a truckload of problems.  Her husband had had some sort of enlarged lymph nodes and they were very worried -- the tests, etc. were dragged out for months, but everything turned out OK as the growths were benign.  What a relief -- I hate to think of Elaine under such psychological pressure -- as we've agreed (you and I) so many times, she is such a tip-top sort of woman.

Anyway -- she sent me a bunch of addresses of library director friends of hers in various Long Island locales -- so if I do decide to return stateside, there will be a lead.

I'm enclosing a clipping re the origins of Halloween which you were grumbling about in your last letter.   (My God -- Halloween -- it's only 3 months ago -- I am a procrastinator!)

Well, shall warp this up for this time.  Write soon -- letters are the boon of my existence.  Hope the hot and cold water faucet of your life (your analogy) maintains an even temperature (but what would you do if, as in our apt bldg, they shut the hot water off?  Hmmmmm?!)

P.S.  Thanks again for you Noel phone call -- it was a bright addition to the holiday season!

October 27, 1974 (Letter from Sue)

Really!  How could you -- how dast you insult my humble, but honest typewriting, that which has earnt me my honest (but more humble) living till I went and became a "professional"?!!  My nimble fingers ((at the machine, my dear) are known far and wide for their skill.  Though the old agility does seem to have worn off a bit of late.  It's just their (my fingers) way of telling me that they do not want to be party to any secretarial jobs.

I did like the ring of Monagahela Queen, though I suppose "Gateway Clipper" does sound clippier....

Oh -- almost forgot -- BIG NEWS!!!!  I found a job.  Not completement what I had wanted, but close enough for the time being; the salary is decent, and it will fulfill one aspect of my many faceted bag of desires...I am going to be a children's librarian in a spiffy elementary school (miles from downtown Montreal -- I take the train at the crack of dawn, and the principal meets me at my stop in front of the Kentucky Fried Chicken stand -- I feel like a combination of a character form Theodore Dreiser and one from Ken Kesey...)  I actually have (or will have) two schools to work with, though the second one isn't assigned yet.  I'm looking forward to it -- I'll have complete charge of the library and all its creative activities.  The principal seems quite encouraging of my desire to do some sort of children's theater.  Also he seems to be willing to be completely laissez-faire with regard to selection, general  policy, etc... Tomorrow is my first day; I'm sort of nervous.  (But then, I never did have your ability at nonchalance when nonchalance is due.)

One of the reasons I took the job (I'm  still having struggles with the red-taped Immigration & Manpower Service re my work permit, so I shouldn't be premature) is for the fact that school-related people get vacation...like summer and Christmas and Easter.  A very good reason to stay within the hallowed halls of academia, though Wendell would have a fit to hear me say it.

(By the way -- re Wendell's remark about "shooting your wad off before you start" -- I vaguely remember something like that, but it isn't entirely clear...What do you mean by "revealing" -- are you referring to, shalt we say, homosexual tendencies he might have?  Or are you referring to his cautious nature?  (Sort of a don't count your chickens before they hatch simile.)  Please elaborate.  Inklings into Wendell's mysterious character fascinate me.  I don't agree that he is a pompous asshole -- just a big pedagogical at times, and certainly a pain in the ass occasionally.  But I think that his heart is in the right place, which is more than I can say for the like of someone like Needlenose (B.N.) -- and I can forgive a lot for a heart in the right place...)

We have been getting involved in several film series (which is something I imagine you miss in Deer Lodge).  There's some good one around -- saw "Lacombe Lucien" which is Louis Malle's latest , and very good, if somewhat distressing.  I am finally going to see Harold and Maude (with the memory of your glowing praise), and am quite excited about it.  Montreal is progressing (I seem to say that in all of my letters -- a somewhat ambivalent statement at best) -- some day's I'm fascinated by the mix of old/old and new/garish -- on those days I enjoy walking around the city, down by the waterfront and across the tracks, looking up to Mount Royal in all its autumn splendor, enjoying the mellifluous sound of French being spoken with a peculiarly North American style.  But other days, I am depressed by the psychic and ecological pollution of the construction which is going on everywhere and ruining the flavour of the city; I become irritated with what has been pounded into my brain as the hostile attitude of the French-speaking Quebecois.  On these latter days I become very homesick for Anywhere U.S.A., and envy y ou in your rustic Lodge of Deer (as the French would translate it.)

I think I'd better continue by hand.  This typewriting is really sick, and probably annoying to read.

I'm glad you're continuing with your writing.  I think it is important.  And I'm glad that you find your surroundings conducive to a satisfying way of life.  This is very important, I think -- I think you're going to come out of Deer Lodge with a well defined sense of time and place -- (I think Pittsburgh did the same thing; for both of us).  It's exciting to have the mobility (and desire) to travel, exciting as well as very satisfying, I think.  Such a perspective is gained by seeing other ways of life and all that cliched sort of thing.  I know I'll always look back on Pittsburgh as one of the most courageous ventures I have made -- and one of the most ultimately rewarding.  (I think there's something -- lots, in fact, to be said for travelling as a single person, as well -- tho the companionship of being part of a couple is nice too.  What thinkest thou?)

Got a letter from Janet the other day -- she is working as an A/V librarian (w/ no A/V budget) in Marty's medical school.  She says the atmosphere is very congenial -- her only (mild, at that) grip is that the life of a med student's wife is not even semi-carefree bliss!  I understand all too well the loneliness for us gregarious creatures who are wedded to students.  (Loneliness in a strange city, I mean, Janet feels much in Philadelphia as I do in Montreal: not knowing anyone.  But it will come.)

Also got a bizarre letter from Michael -- which was mainly an enumeration of all his activities -- he's really becoming BTS (Big Time Stuff) with his interest in T/A, etc.  I hear thru the grapevine that he's not too happy at  Maryland though; however, Blanche is the source of this so -- as Grant says -- I "take it with a box of Morton's and an umbrella as well..."

I'm glad to hear that you enjoy the joint.  (I wrote to my parents about your job -- my father work -- counselling -- w/ inmates of the county jail -- and he says he has a distinct memory of the Deer Lodge prison as a "dreary place".  Is it?  The library sounds OK, anyway...)

Sorry that you and the dumplings of Deer Lodge aren't sweeping each other off your respective feet.  Where's that sturdy, adventurous pioneer Montana stock?  Well, perhaps your Belle of Boston will decide to trek westward.  In the meantime, I know you can be stoic about spiritual solitude.

I must dash off and take my bread pudding from the oven (doesn't that sound domestic?  Believe me, it is.  Sometimes my gypsy spirit rebels).  So I shall close.  Do write again soon -- your letters are a joy to behold, tumbling fatly through the mail slot.

Ta, ta till the next time, when I shall enumerate the no doubt fascinating tale of my escapades as a school librarian.

P.S.  I am a little confused about this Leslie thing.  In the last letter before this, I am sure that you said something to the effect that your relationship w/ Leslie was the most whole or complete, or something, you had yet encountered.  Yet, in your latest letter you state unequivocally that you have "broken off with Leslie for good".  My opinion, should you choose to accept it, is that Leslie's lack of "spunk" has been casual in her current (and future?) "lack of Paul".  N'est-ce pas?  I do think that an ounce of gumption is worth a pound of all-suffering patience.

Again -- I hope that Montana offers some of its famed majestic beauty, feminine variety, soon -- and that you don't get hornswaggled and hog-tied unwittingly into the blessed state of matrimony.  (With the rich rancher's only daughter, perhaps?)  Actually, I know it could never happen to you -- you're too damned obstinate!  (A sterling quality -- just as gumption is!)

October 7, 1974 (Letter from Sue)

Deer Lodge, Montana!  How quaint and rustique!  I was pleased to learn you actually did take the job -- imagine, you, the most bored of all in the underserved class, are actually serving them!  No, that's not sour grapes -- but aren't you glad now that you sat through my book talk in prisons?  (I'm sure it doesn't make a damned bit of difference!)

I'm sure that the change of pace is interesting.  I understand your feeling about leaving Pittsburgh -- one grows very fond of that funky old town -- I am often quite nostalgic.  But such a change from eastern industrialization to Rocky Mountain "high" can't be anything but intriging.  You living situation sounds very good -- I'm sure you'll get to know the other people in teh area, and I'm sure as well that you are making friends with many of the inmates (since, from what you tell me of their "crimes", there but for the grace of God go you...)

I told you about my friend in Albany who was a prison libn at Comstock, didn't I?  Just got a letter from him today -- he's fed up totally with his present job (academic lib -- serials -- Catholic private 4-yr college and a real drag as the place is run with an iron first by one of the Jesuits), but he's doing "counselling" (for lack of a better word) at the county jail.  If you ever want to get in touch with him re his experiences as prison libn, his name and address are Bill Demo, 390 Hamilton St., Albany, N.Y., as of 10/16 -- he's moving there.

I guess that I already told (fucking typewriter!) you that he was a part of the same library system  (god damn it) university system as you, as he got his MIS from SUNY Albany.

Your library sound really good -- good environment, etc.  It even sounds as if you have pretty much freedom in how you run it (Blue Oyster Cult, et al.), which is great (that was Bill's complaint -- that he couldn't deal with the warden at all). I think you may actually enjoy the next year or so.  I can certainly imagine you, out on the Dear Lodge mountain range, in teh midst of splendiferous autumnal sunsets, tucked away in  your little cottage in the winter as the cold mountain winds range about you ( I have this picture of McCabe and Mrs. Miller), but there you are, indifferent, with your boots off, yhour feet up in front of the fireplace, an open bottle of whiskey in front of you...(and a young lovely in the background?  I do hope so!)

And of course, there's always your work at the library to keep you warm.  Seriously, it does sound like a "rewarding experience" (whatever that is) -- as if you'll be able to , as you say, fill some sort of need in your "patrons" lives...(I've never liked the word patron  nor am I found of "user" or "reader" or "client".  How about libraryees?)  I think you've done admirably well, your first month out of library school.

As for my situation (I actually feel guilty not working yet) -- I am looking (we got the phone) (number 514-932-8378, just in case you ever need to call --) rather wholeheartedly as a matter of fact.  I did get one offer at one of the JC's in the area -- reference libn. night work with the potential to develop into full-time day work.  But I didn't take it as 1) I didn't like the library; 2) it was way too far away to commute, and 3) Bart and I would never have seen each other.

So far, the possibilities range from Fine Arts Ref at one of the local universities to Asst Libn at a public library (bilingual, with a chance to build up the children's collection) to subject indexing and aggressive telephoning at a local scandal rag.  The beset thing, though, is that I contacted the Archivist at McGill Library about oral history interviewing (they have a History of McGill project here, as well as an Oral Hist dept.) and he wrote back, asking me to come in for an interview.  Which I have tomorrow.  I don't know what this means (the fact of the interview), but at least we can talk about the possibilities, as finger-popper would say.  (Tho' I don't mean those kind of possibilities).  The Archivist is supposed to be "crotchety and brilliant" -- I'm really very eager to meet him.

The only thing that is disturbing me is:  what if I shouldn't find a job?  (A possibility which I have mentioned to no one else).  It would be such a blow to my grad-school ego!  It's such a drag hearing all the time how "tight" things are everywhere.  There seems to be lots of jobs for catalogers  but I just can't consider that.  It would be too debilitating.  I'd rather design information systems.

Of course, though, I will find a job -- it's just the limbo-esque quality of the job hunt that is sometimes a little bizarre.  What about others in our class?  Who else has found a job, and where?

I am so sorry to have missed the gala events aboard the Monagahela Queen (or whatever the riverboat was...) and stop at the Triangle!  It sounds as if it was very festive.  Speaking of festivities, just think -- it was about a year ago that we merrily made our way to Atlantic City (ah, Erwin!).  That will always stand out in my mind as one of the primary events of grad school.  (The convention, not just Erwin.)

And, speaking of Atlantic City -- have you heard of or from Michael?  I wrote him a long letter -- as he most emphatically told me that I had let him down in not writing to tell him when I would return to Pittsburgh -- but I haven't heard hide nor hair from him.  I guess he's doing well at Maryland...(Knowing Michael, he would do well anywhere...)

I got a letter from Susan Zaretsky.  She corroborated your report that Phil has changed ("reformed" is how she put it).  Barbara Immroth is in the Ph.D program -- and Susan saw Carmelle one day -- Carmelle is living at home and looking for a job and the report is that she and Gregg "split up" and he is teaching in Erie.  Whether that means they split up due to non-proximity or due to non-compatibility, I don't know.

Also received a brief note from Grant -- no gossip, though.  Just to tell me about a GSLIS grad who is teaching at the Univ of Montreal.

We are planning to go to Vermont this weekend (Monday is Canadian Thanksgiving -- did you even heard of such a thing?!).  I find myself becoming very homesick for the gold old U.S. of A.  I must be getting old.  Being in exile never bothered me before.  But anyway, I have a great desire to see the New England autumn, in all its splendid foliage -- a veritable palette, I hear!  Besides, I quite liked Vermont when we passed through in August -- maybe I'll check out the library in St. Albans!

Oh -- one professional commitment I have made (such a rambling letter, this) is that I've joined SLA (just think of all the extra conventions I can go to!).  I felt that this would help me to get to know the library community a little better, and might prove to be beneficial in the job hunt.  They're having a meeting tomorrow night -- might be interesting.  (Though the dinner speech is the thrilling topic of "Studying Libraries with the Use of Outsiders".  Just hear the implications of a closed, smug little library community!)  (Too bad you're not here -- I'm sure you'd be fascinated).  Anyway, they have a cocktail hour before the meeting, so it shouldn't be too bad!

I am also taking a course in French for Library Science (again, with the idea that I might meet some people who could be helpful...)  About the only thing is that I am learning a lot of technical terminology I didn't know, and I get to use the college library.

Aside from all this brouhaha and general nonsense, Montreal progresses.  We are getting more and more settled, though there are difficulties related to my lack of exposure to the community and our general feeling of being cut off.  In other words, it takes time to make friends, and twice as long if one is part of a couple, and my social nature needs lots of social intercourse.  (No pun intended, and please don't jump to any hasties!)  I am generally impatient -- I want to be settled in, with a job, and a coterie of friends -- and, of course, all this take time.  I sometimes miss the independence I had in Pittsburgh, but the companionship I have with Barb outweighs the other, so...in general, things are pretty good.

Well, I'm making more and more mistakes with this infernal machine (whatever happened to my secretarial skills!) -- so I shall close.  Do write again, as winter rounds the bend into the homestretch -- and do tell me more about your job, the prison system, etc.  (Also -- do you think Barb might come out to Montana?  Why haven't you mentioned it to Leslie?  You and Leslie have what my mother would term a "relationship filled with mysterious nuances".)

 Also let me know where you will be at Christmas -- maybe we can arrange to see each other.  In the meantime, Montana's Native Son (it was Wendell who told me you were born there-- I didn't destroy his illusions...), take care.

P.S.  Do you still hear from Ken?  Now is his Dollar Date progressing?  I am really glad that things seem to be working out for him. (I feel personally involved after attending his wedding.)

September 15, 1974 (Letter from Sue)

My dear Pole --

And I don't mean from Warsaw!  I am ever so sorry not to have written long 'ere this.  I was overjoyed to receive your long, long letter ('way back last July!) with its detailed and descriptive account of ALA.  Apparently "something" did happen to Phil there-- they way I herd it (from Grant, when I passed through Pittsburgh in August) was that Phil did "something unmentionable", though Grant doesn't know what.  I'm consumed with curiosity -- what could it be?

I was sorry to miss you, both in Pittsburgh and in Warren -- I guess your father told you that I called -- I just didn't know when we would get to Pgh -- we had a steaming radiator in Nevada and had to spend some time getting it fixed, etc.

Anyway, I heard that some prison library in Montana was trying to get in touch with you!  For all I know, you could be there now!  (I met a guy recently who graduated from SUNY Albany and who was the libn at Comstock.)  At any rate, I have a feeling that you're gainfully employed as of now (which is more than I can say for myself -- all in good time, I always say.)

Where are you and what are you doing?!  And what of the others -- I spoke to Michael on the phone in Aug -- and he agreed w/ me that U. Maryland is an elitist institution, but other than that, I haven't heard a breath of news (gossip?) since I heard from you and Janet in July.

I'm especially curious about Carmelle -- do you know what she's up to?  I wonder if she's still w/ Gregg -- do you know?

Also -- Paul, you sounded sort of forlorn w/ regard to your penchant for attached women -- (do you think it could be a defense? -- I don't mean to give you a lot of psychoanalytical nonsense, truly I don't -- but do you think it's a defense, a coincidence, that you tend to "fall for" women w/ prior commitments?).  I didn't know you felt so strongly about Grayce.  I always thought she felt that way about you -- though I confess to knowing nothing, except what you've told me, about her own state of independence or lack thereof -- I just had always had a feeling that she "had a crush" on you.  The old pitter-pat, pitter, pat.

For heaven's sake -- of course there's someone "out there" who is not already married, engaged, living w/ someone, a lesbian, or anything else in that category which seems to deny access, one individual to another (of course, some of us don't' believe in that category  but I admit, there are limitations).   Anyway, I think it's always hard to find that one mate -- a companion who can fulfill so many areas of one's life.  Some -- a lot -- of people spend their lives looking for the all-encompassing, multifaceted, soul-mate -- I don't' think any person can satisfy all of one's needs - do you?

I understand what you say about Leslie, though -- if it's not there, it's not there, though I'm sure it's not easy to break those old ties.

I've been reading a lot of Canadian fiction lately (a body of literature largely unknown up there, though it's lately come to surface).  There's a writer I think you'd particularly like -- Brian Moore -- his origins are Irish, and he now lives in sunny Calif -- but he's a naturalized Canadian citizen.  Just read An Answer from Limbo -- great book, dealing w one's art vs. one's personal life, ties, etc., but told in such a human/realism way that it's impossible to put down.  Manhattan locale, which you'd also like, I think.

I think you'd find Montreal intriguing -- which it is , if a somewhat tough nut to crack -- after a most trying week of looking for an apt, we finally found one -- situated in an old, formerly elegant (you know how I love faded grandeur, a la Atlantic City) residential area very centrally located.  Large, sunny, w/ 6 ft windows -- and totally unfurnished.   After a week of sleeping on hardwood floors, we finally got some furniture and are ready to commence Montreal living.  When we get the phone, I'll start job-hunting.  (I finally got my resume down to one page.)

Montreal is really divided between French and English -- even extends to the architecture -- part is London brick row-houses and part is Parisian stone and mansard roofs.  Unfortunately, much has been destroyed by the high-rise construction -- begun for the Expo and continued for the '76 Olympics -- I'm not finding the French (language) too easy, though it's coming, bit by difficult bit.

There are excellent restaurants here, as well as a good street scene.  The music scene I don't know yet -- but I maintain that the French -- even the North American French -- can't handle rock.  Everything comes out like Gilbert Becaud or Charles Aznavour.  I s'pose there's poetry in the lyrics -- but tune-wise -- well, there's nothing quite like the San Francisco sound!

Isn't it strange to think our year of academic endeavor is over -- all those hours gossiping in the library, writing last minute papers (in my case -- I know yours were finished months in advance , you show-off!)  Have you done anything further w/ pub of the R. S. index?  My friend the ex-Comstock libn (who is now a serials libn in an academic library) says he knows of no idea and thinks it's a good idea.

Well, my dear -- I hope this letter finds you in good spirits and financially solvent.  If you aren't working, and are w/in driving distance -- do come up to Montreal.  I'd love to see you again, soon -- (don't you think we should have a reunion?!) (you're the ex-class Pres, and as ex Social Chairwoman, who fell down in her duties toward the end, I can help you plan it!)  Seriously, do consider it.

July 15, 1974 (Letter from Sue)

How are you??!  I've thought of you and spoken (most fondly, of course) of you millions of times -- but it's taken me lo! these three weeks to get around to actually writing.

How was the convention?!  I expect a full report, written in your inimitable style on all of the going, and, of course, comings!  Did you get any good job leads?  Any interesting meetings to go to? Any scandals?!  (Like did George Grant go berserk and try to pay a midnight visit to Sister What's Her Name in her room at the Taft?)  Did you see our friend Sue and her continuing oral history project? Did you see my ex-heart throb Erwin?!!!  (How did he look -- )  How was the bus trip?  How was Blanche?  Did you stay in the Hilton, and who paid?  In short, I want to know everything!

I'm missing Pittsburgh and the exciting low key life at GSLIS, I find -- though I am enjoying SF -- very nice dry sunshine here -

I am not sure at this point whether we will arrive in Pgh before school lets out (though naturally I want to make it back there (no pun intended) before the big PARTY!  We may not arrive till around the 15th -- will you still be there?  Let me know because I really want to see you.

SF, as I said,k is fine -- though I have been put to work (which I feel is practically like being put out to pasture).  Bart said "You work" and so I got a job through a temporary agency which more than ever convinces me that I do not like or want to do secretarial work.   But it's just for a month -- 2 wks of which are already finito, so I'll just bear with it for awhile longer.  The only good thing is that I am pulling in $4 per hour (before taxes, natch).  I started out at $3.25 and had to register a mild complaint about this not being commensurate with my vast skills, poise, experience, intelligence, etc.  So they very fairly raised my pay.

At the same time I am trying to finish my 210 project for Wendell -- I've transcribed one tape plus half of another -- so I have 1 1/2 short ones to go.  What a debilitating job.  No wonder Rosemary Woods lost 18 minutes!  Mainly though, I want to get this thing out of the way and off my back -- I don't like the image of Wendell's spirit continually perched on my shoulder.

I had dinner w/ some Berkeley library school grads the other night-- and frankly, I think our illustrious institution is better for a lot of things.  Cal is a real snob school, completely computer science and academic research library oriented.  The Dean, whom I already hated based upon an infamous application interview, is a real ivory tower man and a swish (as opposed to gay) to boot. They concentrate on its PhDs -- the only good thing about Cal is that there are many, many jobs for the grad students as well as a limitless number of "field research" (like 219, etc( courses to take -- only 1 required course, so you can design your own program -- But -- in terms of faculty -student rapport and accessibility of administrative power within our own school, we are way ahead. At Berkeley the students are discouraged from the very beginning in the possibility of getting jobs, they are left completely to their own devices (you would probably like that), their student organization is even less together than ours (my friends were very impressed with the bus to ALA) -- and Cal has a very racist-sexist-snobbish admissions policy (absolutely no one admitted w less than a 3.0).   Their curriculum meets the students' needs even less than ours, and it sounds as if they have virtually no opportunity for student input into the decision-making system (as Patty Penland would say).

I know Pitt has many failings -- boring and meaningless classes, jerks like B.N. and his OCSC speech to us, etc.  But still, I would rather have gone to Pitt than UC, even if the latter is supposedly ranked 4 or 5 in the nation.

I do hope that life in Pittsburgh is progressing at a merry rate, aside from Lib school.  Have you seen any movies lately?  We saw Polanski's Chinatown recently -- excellent -- good evocation of 30's period w/out being overly nostalgic.  Very powerful, if somewhat despairing film on corruption. I'm reading about 5 books -- or trying to -- Terkel's Hard Times and Agee's Let Us Now Praise Famous Men among them. Also one which you might like -- Erica Jong's Fear of Flying -- a very funny feminist approach to the existential dilemma ("theory of the zipless fuck", which you should appreciate) though a bit overstated at times.

Well, my dear -- I shall close for now.  Please write me -- and tell all!  Especially how much longer you will be in Pittsburgh -- OK --