June 29, 1975 (Letter from Larry)

It's about 8:30 Sunday morning and I thought now would be the best time to write.  I've been real busy and haven't had much spare time.

There's nothing unusual to tell.  Mom's probably filled you in with everything that's been happening lately.

Dale looks nice with his haircut.  I think he will start settling down after the summer is over. High school friends have a lot of influence on him, but I think Dale will be less influenced in the fall and start using his head.

Barb was home a couple weeks ago.  She really looked nice.

Do they have Mother Earth News in the prison library?  I've noticed in the personal columns where prisoners want to correspond with  Mother Earth type people.  I'm sure there are a lot of prisoners who'd like to read the magazine.

We're having our class reunion at the Youngsville Fire Hall.  I'm looking forward to going.

I'm hoping Mom and Dad go to New England this summer cause I would like to go.

Hope things are okay out in Montana.

November 5, 1974 (Letter from Grayce)

Whittier Elementary School, Great Falls, Montana

Photo taken September 1974

Dear. Mr. Corneliusson (as elongated older version of your last name I came across just recently).

As I write today, I am listening to the record I ordered the day we were in town.  (Debussy's Syrinx for flute solo).  It was his last work and I really like it best of all the others.  I might even go far enough to say it's my favorite classical piece.  The mood I have to be in to really enjoy it doesn't just open up every day, though.  It's such a thoughtful and restrained piece of music that to listen to it when I'm not feeling thoughtful and peaceful would be a type of sacrilege.  It  has a very mysterious quality and can be ethereal at times.  It would be like touching clouds to really explain it so I will stop   I hope you can hear it someday.  The first time I heard it was in January when Brook's sister invited us to an evening of chamber music that she had to give with other people in her class.  I was feeling bad that night and this music was perfect.

I thing (actually, I do speak English) think I told you the story of Pan that it was written to represent.  (He falls in love with a young mortal woman who is afraid of him and hides from him in the reeds.  He cannot find her and sighs deeply and his breath carries over all the reeds and makes the sound of syrinx.)  It's truly beautiful story.

Oh well, enough of this.  You're probably asleep by now.  (Of course, you could always skip the parts of a letter that bore you -- it's not like just walking away from someone that's talking to you, huh?)

I had intended to recommend a crock-pot to you in my last letter.  I got one as a shower gift from Tobin and she said that no "career person" should be without one.  It's really good, isn't it?  Suzy Homemaker has been experimenting a lot lately.  Brook hasn't died of ptomaine yet, so I guess I'm not all that bad.  Last night I made stew (in the crock-pot) and it was really good.  The meat was so tender it fell apart.  If you haven't made that yet, please do.  I made garlic bread and a fresh spinach salad (with Caesar dressing) to go with it.  I'm making myself soooo hungry.  ON Sunday (here I go again) we got the pumpkins we had planted in the summer and I made pumpkin pie.  I think I'm going to have to go on a diet before Thanksgiving (just to stay at my present situation) because we are going to Phila for the holiday and my mother has already called up and asked what we want.  Brook, of course, wants veal scallopini (for Thanksgiving!?) so that mean we'll have it the day after, and I know she'll have all kinds of goodies to tempt me.  I used to be much better at resisting these things.  My will power needs some kind of incentive, I think.  I will have to dress something good up.

Speaking of home, I'm sorry your sister is having a bad time.  But at least she has those nice plans about New England to think of and work for.  I think everybody wants to live in N.E. or California.  I wouldn't want to live in Calif, but I'd really like N.E. -- I like the climate very much.

My news from home is that my brother Tommy (age 15) is "going steady" with a girl who is going to be 20.  My parents are certainly not thrilled to death about it, but they are wisely (for once)( not interfering and not badgering him.  The problem seems to be that Vera "wants to get married". (This seems a little ludicrous to me since he's only 15!  I mean, why would she pick him?)  It's strange.  She's very nice but she's a non-entity.  Her opinions are never even voiced, let alone considered by Tommy.  He's so independent and he kind of lets her tag along, but he does like her a lot.  He's just really immature and doesn't know how to treat her, or anything.  In a way, this will be very good for him.  It's her I'm worried about.  I can't imagine what she's getting out of this relationship, you know?

One thing that bothers me about her is that she graduated from high school 2 years ago and has never gotten a job.  She just stays home all day.  She has 7 brothers and sisters and I guess she helps her mother, but her father died quite awhile ago and I just thought some money would come in hand there.  It's none of my business, of course, but I just can't understand how someone can just do nothing for 2 years!  Myeer!  I would go crazy, I think.

I have to go now cause I have to go to work.  ON Tues and Thurs I start 1 1:00 and work til 10:00.  I was just really getting into this letter, too.  Oh well---

(11/7/74)  -- well, here I am again with lots of energy.  Actually, it is 6:30 am (the middle of the night for me) and I just have washed my hair and I am sitting here deciding whether to set it or not. Brook is already at work.  He had some big top secret engineering to get done today.  It had to be done before everybody was at work, so...and once I wake up fully it's almost impossible for me to go back to sleep.

So, you're stuck with a letter from a tired but awake person.  I'm sorry, but I have a feeling that this letter isn't inspired.  Do you hate this trivia? or what?!

Your phone sounds quite appropriate.  What does you apartment look like?  Colors, age, etc.  (please answer this!)

Guess what?  The other day I went shopping in Wilkinsburg and I passed by the pipe shop and decided to go in and ask for a few cigar boxes (I'm making wooden Xmas tree decorations and they're 3-dimensional so I need a place to store them so they don't break) and lo and behold! the man behind the counter was none other than Harvey Walker.  No sooner did he see me than he started telling everyone (at least 10 people!) that I was his ex-wife and I still went up to visit him on Thursday nights when his present wife worked  etc. etc. -- same old Harvey!  Anyway, it was really nice to see him, despite the fact that 10 people now think we are both crazy, immoral, or both.  I haven't gotten up enough courage to go in and see him again, yet.  I think I will wait for an off-time at the store.

Do you know I haven't seen Kolish yet either? or even spoken to her.  Kate certainly is elusive.  I've called several times and no luck.  I hope she's alright.  I think I'll try again today.  I have to go to Oakland on Nov. 18 so maybe I can see her then!

I am quite excited about tomorrow.  One of the library aides that I've gotten friendly with is taking an indep study in pottery and she's going to let me use her wheel tomorrow!  I haven't done it in such a long time so I've a little apprehensive, but I can't wait!  There's something really neat about playing with clay and mud.  I guess I feel that way because I am an earth sign.  Does your sister like to play with earth?

Right now, as I look around myself, at this mess, I am quite discouraged.  This house is at least 08 years old and I don't believe anything has been done to it for at least 20 years (maybe not even cleaned!).  There is plaster everywhere and the curtains that are on most of the windows are nothing short of hideous.  We can't fix anything until Brook finishes his cabinet which is being built into the wall, so- it will take at least until Christmas to do that.  (shudder)  I don't even feel like cleaning cause it doesn't help one bit!  I have so many ideas and it is frustrating to not get to do any of them. Oh well...

By all means, do send some samples of your journals.  I would especially like to see some representative things about your time at GSLIS -- I mean at different times there, if your opinions changed or altered much.  Actually anything you send would be fine.  Do you like going through all that and editing?  It would be very tedious for me since I am very impatient.   Kierkegaard never went over any of his writings.  They just poured out like a waterfall.  He wrote 20 volumes of journals (each quite large also) and his philosophic works are so voluminous as to really amaze the person who realizes that he died in his very early forties.  (Paul says -- oh no -- do I have to listen to her talk about this goofball again?!)  I'll stop; I promise.

What's prison chow like?

As for travel, I'm not sure how I feel about it.  I used to think it was very exciting but I'm not so sure now.  It seems that I believe in the solidarity of mankind and that most men are awfully basically alike. Maybe it's only because I haven't been to any other really different places like the Orient.  I would love to visit China before the art is totally negated by that state.  From what I've read they are trying to do away with all of the past -- even Confucius.  I think this is a crime -- to take people out of their identity and mold them all together.  I feel that all men placed in the same situation who have the same milieu react very similarly, i.e., I don't believe in "bad" men and "good" men but that, inherently  man becomes what he does.  Like all those people in prison were sort of "channeled" into the lives they led.  And most will probably be channeled into it again when they leave.  I don't know how travel brought this stuff up.  Please excuse this disjointed rambling!

Are you going to go home for Xmas?

January 28, 1972 (Letter from Mardi)

It was good to hear from you yesterday!  I had just arrived home after an evening of "bowlerama".  I was going to write to you about three weeks ago and have been in a daze since then. School has me in a fog as usual.  But I actually look forward to classes to give my mind some mental exercise -- I really enjoy it all, which I've been trying to do for a long time.  Now whether I can pass or not will be another problem -- it's about this math class I have.

As usual, my Christmas trip back was uneventful!!!!?  Sure.  You definitely know the circumstances, that fateful Sun night.  I must say I'm sorry if I seemed upset but I was so fuckin pissed about the weather and how to get back I didn't give you a fond farewell.  After you left my mother and I managed to make a dozen phone calls and what I did was get a reservation from Jamestown to Buf and then from Buf to Mpls.   Then we got Tim Lucia to take me to Jamestown.  So just before I was ready to leave Mon afternoon the airport calls and says my flight will be half an hour late getting to Jamestown!  I'll still make my connection in Buf -- get to Jamestown and the flight is 50 min late -- so now I'm thinking "Shit, the planes are not going to make it!"  At 3:05 pm the plans lands -- I'm to be in Buf for my connection at 3:45 sharp -- I made it!  The flight from Buf to Msp was late getting in -- thank god!  Otherwise it would have been a mere five hour wait in the Buffalo airport!!!!  The flight from Buf took 2 hrs. because we were heading into such strong winds!  But I was home and had the ravioli heated by 6:30 pm.  It seems like 1 yr ago already!  I'm glad we got to see Tina and Rusty, that was about the only people I really wanted to see.  I would have like to have seen Mark but I don't have too much to say but hello, how ya doin?  I can't get to Joan, I'll never figure her out.  She seems to do everything backwards to get at her goal.  She doesn't want to go to school but she's going, she wants to settle down...  I'm glad she's going to finish anyway -- I hope.  I really didn't like old Freddy over Memorial Day -- he seemed very defensive towards me -- maybe it's my imagination but Freddy gave Barb the same thing.  I think everyone's "group" has dwindled down!  I don't' think any of us need as many people as we used to.  The few we have are close enough to love and "worry" about.  I'm one for intimate talks and walks, and stupid little tings.  But I like getting out as much as I can with the crowd, not among the crowd.  What am I babbling about?  I was thinking if I can get some money saved I could go out to Boston over Easter too.  It's just a thought though.  I want to get out there and see Barb and all the places.  It would be good a time as any I suppose!

Anderson quit his job!  Neat?  He's been "unemployed" for two weeks.  And boy is the money problem tight 00 just when we were coming out ahead -- he quits!  He was getting screwed on the job anyway.  Monday he finds out about a salesman's job at Grossman's Chevrolet.  IT really would be a nice job because he is so out-going and can really hand out the B.S.  He would have a car then too and other advantages -- like a paycheck!  He's been playing hockey about 4 night a week -- hockey hockey hockey.  He's had 1. a black eye, 2. a bashed up nose, 3. a stick across the mouth, 4. a puck in the arm, 5. a sprained thumb, 6. a cut forehead.  Every time he comes home I'm afraid to answer the door and find out what is broken. David lost 3 teeth last game and big goalie "Andy Anderson" got in a fight but Thank God the referee stopped it.  "He can flu......."  So, if that job doesn't come through it's taxi driving for awhile.  This spring we want to move and get a dog and all. But we are really going to have a bitch moving if we even find a reasonable place.  I want to stay in the same area though. I like the lakes and parks etc., which Bill could care less about!

Everything has been find though all in all!  The weather has been a bitch!  Could you believe -65 with the wind chill!  It had been that way on and off for the past two weeks.  I talked to my mother last week and she continues to talk of going to Florida.  If she does move down, which I am hoping, I am really considering the possibility of moving down there myself!  I love Mpls. and the city but------this weather!  The move wouldn't be for quite awhile yet.  I don't' think it would be a bad move!?

 Well I must close and get busy here.  Take care -- I love ya too honey.

Think we are going to see "Straw Dogs" tonight (or is it Dog?)  I don't want to see the ending.  Oh!  Finally read QBVII it was a good book, not as good as Exodus but good reading.  When it finally came out in paperback I had to read it.

September 26, 1971 (Letter from Mardi)

Hello friend!  I certainly hope you're feeling ok after your little hospital visit.  I'm sure you're ok.

So, Nelson what's the deal.  You never mentioned a word about what you were planning to do!  Am I to play detective?  Since you stated you were going to open a checking account I took it you are apparently settling there!?  No school I take it?  Exactly what the fuck are you doing?

I've really been busy, classes have started and I'm really shitting my pants!  I've got some really "neato keen" classes; economics (not bad), college algebra (terrible, just terrible), management, accounting, and good old human behavior course!  I don't even think I'll be able to make it -- but I'll try and try.

So life goes on.  Anderson is going to Mexico this week sometime!  He and another guy -- I'm really jealous, but he deserves the trip, as long as he doesn't blow that much dope or get caught.  If he gets it in Mexico no one will ever see or hear from him again "my sister...."  He gets his new car tomorrow or the next day, the thing will be neat to take some trips.  It's a sporty station wagon far out.

Haven't really heard too much from anyone.  Mike is back in Warren, he was in Philly and saw his girl.  Maybe they'll be getting married.  Barb should be home now too; she told me she only "plans" to stay for two weeks.  I think she should stay longer and she may just do that anyway.  You knew Sue Smith was out there for one week (neat letter).  I haven't written too many letters so naturally I haven't gotten any.

I just wanted to get this quick letter off before this week started and I wouldn't have time!!!

Write me a few lines soon and tell me what you're doing -- so I'm a nosy bitch -- Take care.

May 6, 1970 (Letter from Mardi)

OK.  I'm a fink!  Will you accept my apology!?  I just sat down yesterday and today and wrote everyone a letter, which I owed everyone.  Last night I finally got around to calling Barb.

How is everything going?  I hear that Carol Bagwell set you and Mike applications for work in California.  What's up with California -- as it looks like we may be all out there this year.  Anderson has been thinking of moving out West for over a year now and he does not want to be here for another Minneapolis winter and I can't say I want to either!  He has such a good job here and if he could get a position on a newspaper out West it would be good for him.  So I can just see us all out West!!!!  I can't see staying some place where there is winter with now every year.  What are you and Mike planning to do?  That's a hell of a question if I ever heard one -- duh -- "What are you going to do?"  How in god's name does anyone know what they want to do!  I really feel like a creepo for not writing.

I'm doing just fine here.  My job is a good job but I hate working.  I'm my own boss and for hours and Pay it's good.  I'm working with loans and mortgages and deeds and I was surprised to find that it was interesting and I'm in contact with quite a few people.

Our new apartment is really nice and I wish you could come and see it.  We looked all over for the right place and we finally stumbled on to this place.  It's an older building and it's right by the lake, it has a fireplace and french windows.  Now all we need is some furniture for our dining area and living room.  All I have to do is walk across the street and "jump into the lake".  We have a nice backyard and lots of room.  We haven't got a phone yet either so we're living in isolation.

[5/7]  I am bound and determined to get this letter out to you.  I actually went to work today.  I didn't go to work Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday.  I told everyone I had the flu; so I went to work today and everyone said how horrible I looked -- NICE!  I came home and ate and clonked out.  The weather has been in the 85's and 90's and you just don't feel like doing anything.  Anderson is sacked out right now so I'm watching some old movie and thought, get that letter out to Paulie.  We're having a huge kegger this weekend so I'm expecting rain all weekend.  Last weekend we had a kegger at some park out in Wisconsin.  We all got bombed naturally -- falling down hills, playing baseball, going to the bathroom in some field -- good old summer is here!

Please drop me a few lines soon adn tell me what your plans are?  Will you be around Memorial Day?  I'm pretty sure Anderson and I'm pretty sure Anderson and I will drive out.  Duh.

Please take care.

November 8, 1969 (Letter from Renee)

Got your letter the other day but have been swamped with work.  Went to the drug store to buy you a birthday card and all they had were shitty flowery ones so I guess you'll have to accept my somewhat belated but most sincere birthday wishes.  How's it feel to be 2 decades old?

I just finished filling out my schedule cards for next quarter.  I've already got 128 hours in and after this quarter I'll have 65 more hours to go -- or 4 quarters till I graduate.  Whoopie.  I'm getting fed up with school and I'm getting sick of going to classes and doing shitty busy work.

I have an appointment with the gynecologist next week to get examined and get birth control pills cause I'm tired of getting scared every month when my period is due.  Morrey and I really want to get married soon cause we practically live together anyway and I'm sick of both his and my roommates.  I love him very much -- like I've never loved before -- and I'm sure it's the real thing.

Here I sit writing letters and I've got a paper due Thurs.  I could care less. Boy am I ever APATHETIC!

I won't be coming home for Thanksgiving cause my parents are coming here instead and I plan on working here full time during Xmas vacation.  I'd go out of my mind in Warren w/out Morrey for more than 2 days.   Ah love -- how sweet it is!

You never told me if you were still a virgin?  I guess it's none of my damn business, but I'm just a little bit inquisitive.  I know that i save mine until I was sure I had found the one and only man I loved.  We were both virgins.  So it was fun to adventure together, if you know what I mean.

Have you declared a major yet?  If so, what the hell is it?

I agree with you about Mardi and Barb.  They'll never get anywhere sitting on their asses and talking about it.  Actions speak louder than words.

Well, I got to get to work.  Will write again more extensively when I have time.  Please keep in touch and come visit us anytime you'd like.  Even bring a friend (as long as it isn't Mike!)  Keep in touch.

May 21, 1969 (Letter from Mardi)

I know I'm a super rat for not writing to you sooner, but I'm a little behind in my studies, duh, yeah, studies, what studies?  Hell.  I've got to get a report in for English tomorrow, do a psych paper for next Friday and a couple other papers!  You certainly wrote me a long letter!  How was it at home -- bad news isn't it?  I hear you, Barb, and Mark, didn't know about each other being home.  Duh!  Time is really flying by.  I guess May is practically shot.  I still have no idea what I'm doing.  I don't know how long I'll stay out here.  Probably till the 17th possibly.  I'll have to save some money this summer.  That's for sure.  God, I hate the thought of staying there but it will only be for a short time.  I'm planing on hitching up to Buffalo to see you.  I'll definitely do that, of course, I can come up and clonk around for awhile.  It would be nothing to thumb up to Buffalo.  All we do now is hitch all over, mother dear would have a shit fit I'm sure.  So this summer is kinda blah.  I might be coming back out to Mpls at the end of the summer because Jim, Dutch's friend, will be driving out.  You remember him, he was the guy at Surf Club with Dutch that night.  So that would be really good.  Dutch is going to Milwaukee over Memorial Day weekend and I might go with him but he's visiting his uncle that can probably get him a job in Florida.  I'm making it to Florida definitely if not right this summer then in September, especially if Dutch goes there.

Things are moving.  This past weekend we spent on the lake and running around.  Wendy and usually sign out all weekend, then she stays at Larry's and I stay with Dutch.  Then that way it's easier to run around more, now Larry's apartment is a block away from Dutch's so we run back and froth.  Saturday we went out to this girl's house on the lake and it's one of these super beautiful homes, on a cliff overlooking the lake, they are quite wealthy.  Sunday we went to the baseball game and sat with our feet over the seats and ate hotdogs all afternoon with Larry and Wendy, then we decided to go on the picnic of the year!  We had everything!  We went out to the falls, it's really cool, wish you could be out here clonking around with us all.  So we got about 50 kids and had a instant kind of kegger.  They're having a kegger for us this weekend if the weather is nice.  I get so drunk drinking keg beer.  I'm glad the weather is lousy this week or else I'd be cutting classes and I can't do that anymore! (for awhile)

I really can't believe this year is almost over.  I can't believe it.  I've really changed and I'm sure we all have! I wish I could some up and see ya and we could really have some good talks I bet.  I promise I'll see ya this summer.

Well, I've got to go to the store and get some exciting articles as toothpaste, deoderant and so on, then I have to do my wash and work on the reports, but I shall be back later.

(5/23)  Hi lover, I have a few seconds now at my break so I'll write a few lines.  I had to finish up my English report, which I have to present today -- I'm always so prepared.  I think this afternoon I'll hit the typewriter and do some psych.  Today is really nice!  It was crummy all week which is kind of good because it's hard enough not to cut.  Last night Dutch and I ended up going to a party in this apartment house in which we knew no one, but we certainly had a good time!  I ended up staying with Dutch -- I feel okay today, though I only had about 4 hours of sleep.  This morning I think I cooked the guys a pound of bacon and a dozen eggs.  There I am cooking breakfast while these four guys are running around in their BVDs.

I must go.  God, time flys, will be late for class.  Th at's a no-no.

Well I gave my report.  Now I can relax for the weekend.  Dutch "skipped" this afternoon and took off for the lake the fink.  I could really  be studious and type up my psych but I'm not that type.

How did you visit home go?  (I already asked you, didn't I?)  I can imagine.  You're like a stranger. I don't want to go home.  I may stay out here an extra week or a couple extra weeks!

My parents are really looking forward to having me come home and it's going to be a real waste to even have to try and make it for two months or so.

Right now I feel as if I'm in a vacuum and I don't know what to do.

I guess tonight we're going to the drive-in.  The last time we went to the drive-in was last June, we used to be a scream when we went to the drive-in.  Renee wouldn't shut up, Mike would yell at Renee for not shutting up, then everybody would yell at Mike for yelling at Renee, and Mark and you and I and Barb ate the whole night -- Mark went to the bathroom every 15 min, Mike would roll down the window because he was hot, Renee and Barb were cold -- Remember that old time great "Let's live a little', that academy ward winner for best scenary.  Oh my goodness Paul where are any of us going?  I must be fantastic for those people who really know what they want and are going to get it!  Please take care love.  See ya soon.



And let your best be for your friends
If he must know the ebb of your tide,
Let him know its flood also.
For what is your friend what you should seek with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.

I LOVE YA