April 3, 1977 (Letter from Kathy)

Have the typewriter out to type a letter for Gary, so decided to get a little much needed practicing in on you!!

Gary's out in the garage helping a 14 year old neighbor with his motorcycle.  This kid has pretty neat parents.  The kind I'm sure Gary wishes he would have had sometimes.  Imagine his parents supporting him in his motorcycles and actually standing out in the desert on a freezing windy day to watch -- no way!!  They don't even want to talk about it on the phone.

We are headed for a 170 mile race from Burns to Bend, Oregon on April 16th.

I had a week off in March that coincided with a trip that my neighbor was taking to San Francisco and Sacramento to visit her Mother in a convalescent home.  Gary had no objection to me going. (He planned to lose 5 pounds while I was gone.  It's my fault he's 5-10 pounds overweight because if we weren't' married he wouldn't come home and wind up in front of the TV and could ride his bike every night instead.  How's that for shifting the blame?  We had a good chuckle over that -- especially when he didn't lose any weight while I was gone.)   Anyway, we spent over 20 hours with her Mom that week and got plenty of shopping, eating, driving, and spending in!!!

We'll be glad to see spring arrive for real and for the wind to stop huffing everything 10 houses away.  Not sure how much we will be affected by the drought in the Northwest.  We may be in an area that's unpopulated enough that we may still be able to maintain yards.  Time will tell.

We have a community water system here and the board election comes up May 2.  We really have to put our heads together in this neighborhood to keep out the guys who can profit from being on the board.  I dread the upcoming election.  The neighborhood is split over a dog shooting.  What a mess!!

Thank you for your invitation.  We get one every year from Gary's relatives for their annual July 4th celebration.  If we got home we could party all day!!

Imagine Mardi and Marti would have been a little chocked over twins.  Always thought I'd like to have twins -- but a boy and girl the first time.  Don't expect too much do I?

Gary's job is continuing to go well and mine also.  Think I've got the most progressive dentist in Idaho and if not, certainly the office with the most benefits.  He mellows a little every year as he becomes happier with himself and gives us less static.

We had thought that Gary would get a company car about now, but come to find out that the parts manager has been there 13 years and never offered a car, so Gary just doesn't know now whether he'll get one or not.  We did sell the Corvette back to the guy that we bought it from and Gary has been riding his motorcycle (one of them I should say) to work and on the colder mornings I drop him off.  I still worry a little that maybe he's not sure whether he wants to be there or not, but then other days I think I'm just reading him wrong.  I know he has a lot of responsibility there and pressure.  Thank my lucky stars that I have the job I have with good working conditions, good hours, and good pay.

Glad to hear you are feeling "settled in".  Little surprised too that we haven't gotten a card from some distant or near state, but figured you found your niche.

We did have a neat time in Pa for the holidays.  I really love to visit, but there's not a whole lot that I miss from there.  I love the independence that our location gives us.  Know we never could live in the same town with Gary's parents.  They would drive us to divorce.  Feel now that our marriage is better than it has ever been.  Sometime, I don't remember or how but I expected the fact that Sunday is Gary's day in the desert.  I plan Sunday for myself to do "my" things, even if that means saving the cleaning and cooking.  Actually I've been reading novels, which I can get lost in for days if I let myself.

I can lose myself just as easily in the garden for an afternoon and not even think of it as work -- it's therapy from the routine of the weeks I guess.  It's really neat how we grow.

Gosh, I sure am rattling away.  How come (no, why) -- starting to talk like the farmers -- do I get so thoughtful when I write to you?  I would guess because your letters always seem so thoughtful and get me in the mood.

My boss brought out a load of manure for my garden today.  I offered his son the part I didn't plan to use since they don't have room for one.  Gary and I went food shopping while they rototilled the manure in on their side, came back to find it all done.  Sure thought that was nice.

Kind of looking forward to our 10 year class reunion, sometimes wondering though if I really care what happened to many of them.  It almost made me feel good that I didn't remember Rick Hackett (that doesn't even sound right) when I saw him at the gym at Christmas.  Linda Dies said, "gee, you guys must not look at your yearbook much."  Seems another life away to have gone to high school there.  Wow -- Gary just put the light on.  Guess it was getting dark -- been writing all afternoon.

Enough is enough -- take care.

August 14, 1975 (Letter from Barb L)

Yes, it's been a while -- now that I have a few things settled my mind is free enough to write.  The last week just about did me in -- a pregnancy scare of the first magnitude.  I was really getting anxious -- 12 days late & good reason to worry.  But, never fear -- I got my period Monday nite -- have been celebrating for 2 days & nites.  Whew!  Did I ever write to you about Jeff? -- the guy I work with at the workshop, he's from California -- did a thing w/ him this spring & we had a little reunion last month but I've learned my lesson with him -- no more involvement.

I've come to the conclusion that I've been acting irrationally for some time -- don't know exactly what to do about it.  If I was that kind of a person I'd to go a psychiatrist & say "Fix me up", but that's not my trip.  I can't really explain what's been happening in my head -- kind of a subject/object conflict -- I can see two opposite points of view on every single issue in my life & experience a desire or need for each solution -- both of which are opposite!  Simple example -- I feel a strong urge for warmth, fellowship, sharing & settling down at the same time that an equally strong urge for travel, exploration & danger manifests itself.  My old method of going on instead cannot solve the dilemma.  I can't even find the true instinct!  Rationality doesn't help -- a rational solution never satisfies the emotional side.  It's very perplexing & extends to all areas, not just the one narrow one I've shown you.  It must be middle 20's menopause so famous in friends & acquaintances.  As a highlight to this slate, I am going up to Boston next week & am staying at Rick's.  That relationship endures despite everything -- don't know why at this point.  Going to see him pregnant would have been better melodrama but bad living.

I am racking my brain still on how to come out there, & how to get out of my job long enough to do it.  My current wish (?) is to go back with you in September & then to fly back.  What do you think of that one?  I can't do it this month because I can't get any time off more than 2 or 3 days.  Every summer I seem to find myself indispensable in some job or other working every day while the sun shines.  Of course you know the feeling by now, but it's not that bad of late.

Your recent letters have been well-written and interesting but there seems to be a distance there -- maybe it's the objectivity of your point of view.  I can't find any expression of feelings in your writings of late, but maybe that's what your aiming for.  Your commentary on Michael came as no surprise -- I have no unconquerable urge to go & tell anyone about it. I hope he's calm now & happier. I know it's a hard thing to accept for him, as it would be for anyone, but especially someone as sensitive as Mike.  My only concern would be the callousness you find in that life, as I've seen affect Tonie & others I've known.  I sure hope Mike doesn't have to go through that aspect.

Your idea of collating and editing your letters sounds like a familiar fantasy.  I don't know now if I could force myself to go through the past that closely, but finding the patterns would be good, really good.  Our correspondence has been somewhat erratic -- it seems to come in spurts, but maybe it 's my letter-writing habits of the last couple years -- my letters are few & far between now, but I've kept up the journal I started 2 1/2 years ago.  Even in that I find that it's the same pattern -- spurts of writing with a time lapse in-between.  Seems like when the feelings are in movement then the writing begins, but when things are calm & ordinary there's no need for it.  With discipline the writing would take place constantly but I admit I don't exert it.

Would you cre to hear some Warren news?  There's not much!  Mardi & Mardi are in Maine for their vacation.  Haven't seen Mardi much this summer due to social plans, etc. (of hers), plus I'm not living in town.  Did I ever tell you I moved?  I got a trailer on Jackson Ave. Ext. at the end of June -- it's up near Scandia Road (Fifth Ave. Ext.) - -it's the last dwelling on this road & from here on it's farms & woods.  It's small but not bad.  I have a garden & a yard & Harry & Sanchez like it! The only drawback is always driving anywhere, so I don't know what will happen when winter comes.  I like the privacy most of the time but miss the easy access to people and places.   I have been going more to Scandia area lately than Warren, except to go to work.  I go up to Timmy's farm to swim or to Well's Ferry on Roper Hollow.  I'd be much more content to stay home if there was water around here.  I miss the ocean!  I've never gone though a summer without it in 6 years!  I feel landlocked.  But I get to be near it next week, even if only for a day.

Here's my address now:
1034 Jackson Ave Ext
Warren
726-2538

Back to local news -- Joan is leaving Meadville next month.  She still doesn't have her divorce due to Freddie's blocking of it but is leaving anyway.  Latest I heard was Atlanta & she has a job offer there.  She really needs to relax & let go & I think a city will do it for her.

I don't know what's happening w/ your brother, Dale.  Every once in a while I see something in the paper about it.  I guess it will go to court & I wish him luck with Judge Wolfe.

Can't think of any more news!  You probably know more of what's going on in Warren than I do -- I'm oblivious to it all usually -- I live in my own little world no matter where I am.  Right now it's a trailer on Jackson Ave!

I'm running a bath & about ready to go to bed -- haven't had much sleep lately -- (5 or 6 days).   Now it's relax time, or crash time, whatever you call it.

Thanks for your letters, even though you got no answers --

I will be seeing you in about a month -- the last time was sitting on your porch on the 4th of July a year ago -- seems like 5 at least.  I'm looking forward to th is one!

P.S.  Write & encourage or discourage the idea of going back with you to Montana in Sept.  I don't want to infringe on your free movement.

P.S. again!

Am re-reading Zen & the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig.  Absolutely intriguing book.  I'm searching for some good reading -- you know there's nowhere to go & look for some around here  Any recommendations?

December 20, 1974 (Card from Barb L)

Hi there!  It's Christmas in Montana and in Warren, Pa! as it's only a week away.  I think I better start getting it together.  Haven't done any shopping yet or anything.  I hate to part with my meager moneys,.  I guess Mardi wrote to you -- there is no news of course.  Rick was here for a week deer-hunting.  He had fun but didn't get a deer.  He never even shot his gun.  He made it back to Boston in a record 9 hours.  Compared to Timmy and I's 18 hours with the U-haul.  My car is still chugging away -- right now it's getting another minor repair -- the clutch pedal cable broke.  They're all minor repair but they all cost money.  I sound like Marti Graves now!  All business.  I think he must be mellowing or something -- he's really been pretty nice.  He even talks about other subjects than golf now.  Maybe Matthew has done it.  I've babysat fo rhim a few times and he is really a doll.  Of course, Yolanda is crazy about him.  So life goes along here in Warren.  I've been hangin around like a lazy good-for-nothing and loving it.  Doing nothing doesn't bother me -- I must be weird.  But it's get a job time after Christmas.  My rucking landlord sent me $8.50 for the return on my security deposit.  He's about $70 short but writes it off as "expenses".  As unbroken record of lousy landlords -- my lucky star did not shine on me during this year in Boston!  This next year is going to be a definite improvement -- I can feel it?  Have a good holiday up there (?) (I know you're "high") -- drop me a lone and I'll dust off the letter paper and get one out to you.

December 7, 1974 (Note from Tina)

As you can see from the above date, I'm preparing for Christmas early this year or we'll never be able to afford it.  Hope all is well on your end.  How's the Montana winter?  Were you able to get things together with Kathy and Gary at Thanksgiving   If not, hope it was enjoyable for you and that you'll see them for Christmas.  We spent Thanksgiving in Warren and Rusty had to get back to Cleveland (probably a hot blond) and left Thursday; and I stayed until Sunday.  Went into the "Pantaloon Saloon" (their grand opening) at Liberty and Third (the old Turner Radio Shop).  Anyway -- saw Matt for the first time in years and Marti Graves, who I primarily wanted to see anyway to congratulate him on the baby.  He's really a neat, genuine guy -- he invited me to be he and Mardi's guest both Friday and Saturday nights, for a drink Friday and to a Lee Sondericker party Sat.  I scratched that pronto and decided against getting together with them and several other couples Friday even.  Would have loved to go, but best not to without Rusty (shit).  Will hope to visit just the two of them and see new Justin later.  Talked to "our" Mardi and she sounds good, hasn't changed, says she's very happy.  Our best to you, Paul.  Take care.

August 31, 1973 (Letter from Barb)

Hello, hello, I can't believe you're in Pittsburgh! I had a feeling you would never go there for some reason! You'll like it -- it's a little more aesthetically pleasing than Buffalo and it's not "big city" -- have you gone through Shadyside yet? Go to the Gazebo -- it's Pittsburgh's version of the Jewish deli and of course all the in people hang out there. It was good to hear from you -- everyone was interested to hear how you were doing. All of us have been "expressing ourselves", as they say, sometimes conflicting but usually getting along. This week is another heat wave and there's a traffic jam in the kitchen around the ice water. Rick and I did food shopping last week to stock up, so I don't get paid till next Friday and have zero money.  I'll have to borrow money to pay Doyle Monday.  Well, I didn't get the job at the Arlington House at McLean -- they wanted somebody "tougher" -- ? -- after the big rap they gave me about sensitivity.  And I didn't want the other one, so I took the job at Children's.  I've been here all this week and I really like it!  I even got some coloring books and crayons for the little kiddies -- now I have to get a little table for them to sit at -- that ought to keep them quiet!   Rick has been giving me a ride in the morning except for today when it took me over an hour to get here by MTA.  That's not including the bus I didn't wait for, but broke my vow and hitched from Kenmore Square to Longwood, then ran to Children's.  Almost had a cardiac attack when I slid in at 9:15.  I had left Humboldt at 8:00!  Had a hard time getting Harry back in this morning -- the squirrels are on the move and she was freaking out, barking and running from tree to tree.  I should have brought a BONE with me to tempt her back in.  She goes in and sleeps with Bob when I leave in the morning -- what a free and easy dog.  Disgusting.

Let me outline briefly the happenings in and around 15 Humboldt -- after you left Terry and I were alone for a week -- Bob and Steve were off jaunting around.  We started getting paranoid -- locked the bathroom window at night even!  Then I went down to the Vineyard for a couple days (stayed w/ Doreen and John -- they were there on vacation) and stopped on the Cape to see Kinky and Linda.  Rick had lent me his car -- shock!   I got home late last Thursday nite right into zoo city -- 15 Humboldt style -- very reminiscent of the house on the Vineyard 1971!  Steve was in his room balling some chick w/ the door open, Bob was stoned in his room w/ people running in and out and music up to 10 decibels above normal ear damage and Terry was sitting calmly in her room as usual.   I went into my room, dumped all my stuff, came out into the kitchen and Steve is very calmly getting a glass of chocolate milk naked.  I'm there, Hey Steve, would you mind putting something on?  He's there -- what, are you kidding me?  But Grandma Moses prevailed and he put on his shorts.  Within about 1/2 hour I felt shitting and Steve had to come in and sit with me cause I thought I was going to faint again -- so we were friends again anyway.  I was really tired from no sleep and all the driving.  Meanwhile, Steve and Bob have left and come back twice since then -- I don't' know how they do it.  Things have been pretty quiet since, but I do go to bed early now so I miss the late nite "activities".  My big thing this week has been getting something cooked and eating and cleaning up as an evening's activity, w/out falling over from the heat.  The noise level has been stupendous at night w/ Steve's stereo, Bob's (he bought a beautiful set), and Terry's radio (bought from Bob when he got his stereo!).  It's sort of like a liberated college dorm.  The amazing thing is that we can get along under the crowded conditions -- it could have been a different story w/ another set of people.  Oh, fun, fun.  I really fell quite at home there but would not consider it for a permanent residence.  I can't start looking for a possible apt. till I get a few paychecks of course.  I'm glad to hear you're settled.  Let me know how it works out.  Are the rest of the people there students?

Your rendition of the reunion was about what I would imagine, although you failed to mention your favorite couple and mine -- Mardi and Marti.  I imagine they were there.  Now that I'm away from it, I find it hard to really believe it really happened (and it still happening!).  Mardi really did get married, it's all "true" -- is it??  I'm glad I'm not there -- I don't want to be a witness to the settling in and the subsequent dissatisfaction.  I don't know why I'm talking about it so formally except I can't relate to it is why I guess.  Fuck it, it's just something I can't get a hold of!!  Well, I try not to worry or think about it, I've found lately that when I see people (friends) in a mess, or what I perceive to be a fucked up situation, I take it a little way and then I stop and it doesn't really concern me.  I don't know if I'm becoming more selfish or more realistic -- I don't know just thought I'd explain it to you -- maybe you know what I mean -- it's like witnessing but not really letting it get inside you. Ya know???

It's time to go home -- probably finish this tonite -- I think we're going to see "Harold and Maude" tonite -- but then w/ Rick you never know.

Continuing saga of the working girl -- Tuesday Sept 4.

Really meant to finish this this weekend but things got hectic.  Friday nite sat on the roof in a thunderstorm - just felt like it.  I mostly slept all evening -- I was dead.  Saturday Steve and I cleaned the bathroom -- couldn't stand it any more -- it took about 3 hours, pretty good since it has never been cleaned!  And finally I went to see Harold and Maude by myself but I enjoyed it immensely -- great music.  The question of the nite was -- Did they really do it??  Duh!

Sunday started the mad dash -- I went down to the Cape with Doreen and John to hear them play (Harry came too!) -- and we drove back to New Hampshire arriving at 4:00 in the morning.  (They keep this pace up every weekend -- I don't know how!)  Rick came up yesterday and we went swimming and ate and sat around and ate and smoked dope and ate -- got home about 1:30 last night. I don't know what I'm doing today -- everything is sort of passing me by -- maybe if I eat some of my granola I'll perk up.  It's another 90+ day -- when will this ever end?  I don't remember summer being like this here before.  Poor Harry -- stuck up on that 3rd floor all day in this heat!  I left the fan on for her and when I get home she'll get a BONE! and I'll throw her in the bathtub in cold water.

Well, I think I'll mail this!  I'm wishing you well on your new life in Pgh, Pa. -- hope your courses aren't too boring -- there much be something good -- let me know the developments.

Everyone says hi, Harry too!