August 11, 1976 (Letter from Mardi)

Well, I don't know where to begin with this letter!  I can't believe you've been out there five months already!  Hope your job is doing you good things.  I imagine you're fairly settled in your apt. by now!  Being a permanent apt. dweller, you will find yourself doing a little of the "happy Homemaker" scene.

We have had an exceptionally shitty summer this year!  My summer consisted of two weeks in Minneapolis & Barb went out to the Cape.  I'm sorry I didn't get a postcard off to you but I never had a free moment.  Seeing everybody was great.  The weather was clear & sunny & my first full day was spent at Lake Harriet biking & just enjoying the whole place.  Bill is doing really well & he's extremely "mellow" now!  Visited TCF which now encompasses an entire city block.  Visited w/ Alma & had lunch w/ the kids at work.  Went to see Dutch & JoAnn, they are typical suburban people now, beautiful home w/ co-ordinated L.R., D.R., etc.  He's a good man, though. Just had a very relaxing time.  Everyone is so much more relaxed there.

My mother is no longer working at Cowdrick's!!!  Shall wonders never cease?  She quit after they took away a week's vacation form her.  She is now at NPC!!!  She had been thinking about it for some time.  She had no benefits at the drug store.

Marti also started a new job at Betts in the west end in their Purchasing Dept.  We're both happy he's there.  He's familiar w/ his new position because of his former employment there.  He works 8-5 with no week-ends -- VACATION.  He's been working w/ Jan Priest doing contracting work in the evenings!  Levinson Bros. was taking its toll on him!!!

Joan -- remember Joan? -- is now here in Warren.  Don't know if I can even begin to explain to you what she's doing because she doesn't know what she's doing!  Let's go back to when she left for Atlanta.  First of all, the daycare or camp for the children fell through & she's been struggling to make ends meet.  While there she & the guy who was to organize this camp became very close. She received her divorce from Freddie about 3 wks ago & got married to Mr. Bill Schwartz.  They came back here to Warren right after they were married because her parents were freaking out & didn't know what was going on!  Now they are happy -- Joan is married to a white man.  Anyway, everyone was surprised, especially Barb & I.  So they were here Sat, Sun & we all got together Mon. night @ my mother's to meet Bill, etc.  We visited & they were going back Tues.  We all said good-by & that was that!  Three days later my mother calls & says Joan is still here!  She stayed & Bill flew to Atlanta where he'll work till he gets "the truck"?  fixed & can get their clothes, etc. Meantime Joan is looking for a job here!  She hates Atlanta, & they want to settle up here.   She's really got me confused this time.  Common sense does not enter into Joan's mind at any time. She has really blown everyone's mind this time!  First of all, I never thought she'd get married again for awhile.  They both could have stayed here & gotten jobs -- why would one stay here & one go to Atlanta?  It's a waste of money & there is nothing that could be so important that they couldn't stay together!  Anyway I've not done any advice giving -- just listen.  Whatever they ant to do they will do!

Marti's parents were just here for two weeks -- actually good old Rachel has quited down some & she was quite bearable!  His sister & husband were here also but stayed in a motel.  Her new husband is not too outgoing & doesn't seem to fit in with regular folks --- his Maine upbringing has not helped him to socialize!!  Marti won't get any vacation time now so I doubt if we'll be making our annual trip to Maine.

Everyone is fine here.  Matthew will have his 2nd birthday next month -- amazing!  He is talking away now, he doesn't quite make sense though.  I'll have to start looking for an extra special gift for the big guy.  I'm behind in baby gifts!  Matt & Candi Voigt had a baby girl. Mike & Laurie Curren had a baby girl, Veryl & Betsy Brinkley had a little boy & Bill & Jodee Andrews are expecting & Jim & Linda Blackman!  It has been nothing but babies!!  I feel like an old pro at it!!

So how is the job going now?  Have you been working in various depts. yet?  Barb is presently unemployed & looking.  If I were her I'd go back to Boston soon.  She's been pretty tied up with this Rick West guy.  She apparently really likes him.  I've never met him but he's about 5-6 years younger.  Between her life & Patsy's it's a regular Peyton Place.  I doubt if I'd last more than one summer in Warren if I were single.  The guys are either too young & immature or too old, divorced w 3 kids & screwed up.  There is a definite scarcity of intellectual males 25-29.  Barb may be working a couple of days @ the Hoffman home on Conewango & waitress @ Paces a couple of nights.  She is suppose to be in Cambridge for a wedding the 22nd & thinks she has a ride.

Well, I'd better close & get some othings done -- it's off to the "Warren County Fair" tonight -- hve to let Matthew see the cows & horses etc. -- it should hold his attention for 1/2 an houro or so!

Take care, sorry about not writing sooner!

August 14, 1975 (Letter from Barb L)

Yes, it's been a while -- now that I have a few things settled my mind is free enough to write.  The last week just about did me in -- a pregnancy scare of the first magnitude.  I was really getting anxious -- 12 days late & good reason to worry.  But, never fear -- I got my period Monday nite -- have been celebrating for 2 days & nites.  Whew!  Did I ever write to you about Jeff? -- the guy I work with at the workshop, he's from California -- did a thing w/ him this spring & we had a little reunion last month but I've learned my lesson with him -- no more involvement.

I've come to the conclusion that I've been acting irrationally for some time -- don't know exactly what to do about it.  If I was that kind of a person I'd to go a psychiatrist & say "Fix me up", but that's not my trip.  I can't really explain what's been happening in my head -- kind of a subject/object conflict -- I can see two opposite points of view on every single issue in my life & experience a desire or need for each solution -- both of which are opposite!  Simple example -- I feel a strong urge for warmth, fellowship, sharing & settling down at the same time that an equally strong urge for travel, exploration & danger manifests itself.  My old method of going on instead cannot solve the dilemma.  I can't even find the true instinct!  Rationality doesn't help -- a rational solution never satisfies the emotional side.  It's very perplexing & extends to all areas, not just the one narrow one I've shown you.  It must be middle 20's menopause so famous in friends & acquaintances.  As a highlight to this slate, I am going up to Boston next week & am staying at Rick's.  That relationship endures despite everything -- don't know why at this point.  Going to see him pregnant would have been better melodrama but bad living.

I am racking my brain still on how to come out there, & how to get out of my job long enough to do it.  My current wish (?) is to go back with you in September & then to fly back.  What do you think of that one?  I can't do it this month because I can't get any time off more than 2 or 3 days.  Every summer I seem to find myself indispensable in some job or other working every day while the sun shines.  Of course you know the feeling by now, but it's not that bad of late.

Your recent letters have been well-written and interesting but there seems to be a distance there -- maybe it's the objectivity of your point of view.  I can't find any expression of feelings in your writings of late, but maybe that's what your aiming for.  Your commentary on Michael came as no surprise -- I have no unconquerable urge to go & tell anyone about it. I hope he's calm now & happier. I know it's a hard thing to accept for him, as it would be for anyone, but especially someone as sensitive as Mike.  My only concern would be the callousness you find in that life, as I've seen affect Tonie & others I've known.  I sure hope Mike doesn't have to go through that aspect.

Your idea of collating and editing your letters sounds like a familiar fantasy.  I don't know now if I could force myself to go through the past that closely, but finding the patterns would be good, really good.  Our correspondence has been somewhat erratic -- it seems to come in spurts, but maybe it 's my letter-writing habits of the last couple years -- my letters are few & far between now, but I've kept up the journal I started 2 1/2 years ago.  Even in that I find that it's the same pattern -- spurts of writing with a time lapse in-between.  Seems like when the feelings are in movement then the writing begins, but when things are calm & ordinary there's no need for it.  With discipline the writing would take place constantly but I admit I don't exert it.

Would you cre to hear some Warren news?  There's not much!  Mardi & Mardi are in Maine for their vacation.  Haven't seen Mardi much this summer due to social plans, etc. (of hers), plus I'm not living in town.  Did I ever tell you I moved?  I got a trailer on Jackson Ave. Ext. at the end of June -- it's up near Scandia Road (Fifth Ave. Ext.) - -it's the last dwelling on this road & from here on it's farms & woods.  It's small but not bad.  I have a garden & a yard & Harry & Sanchez like it! The only drawback is always driving anywhere, so I don't know what will happen when winter comes.  I like the privacy most of the time but miss the easy access to people and places.   I have been going more to Scandia area lately than Warren, except to go to work.  I go up to Timmy's farm to swim or to Well's Ferry on Roper Hollow.  I'd be much more content to stay home if there was water around here.  I miss the ocean!  I've never gone though a summer without it in 6 years!  I feel landlocked.  But I get to be near it next week, even if only for a day.

Here's my address now:
1034 Jackson Ave Ext
Warren
726-2538

Back to local news -- Joan is leaving Meadville next month.  She still doesn't have her divorce due to Freddie's blocking of it but is leaving anyway.  Latest I heard was Atlanta & she has a job offer there.  She really needs to relax & let go & I think a city will do it for her.

I don't know what's happening w/ your brother, Dale.  Every once in a while I see something in the paper about it.  I guess it will go to court & I wish him luck with Judge Wolfe.

Can't think of any more news!  You probably know more of what's going on in Warren than I do -- I'm oblivious to it all usually -- I live in my own little world no matter where I am.  Right now it's a trailer on Jackson Ave!

I'm running a bath & about ready to go to bed -- haven't had much sleep lately -- (5 or 6 days).   Now it's relax time, or crash time, whatever you call it.

Thanks for your letters, even though you got no answers --

I will be seeing you in about a month -- the last time was sitting on your porch on the 4th of July a year ago -- seems like 5 at least.  I'm looking forward to th is one!

P.S.  Write & encourage or discourage the idea of going back with you to Montana in Sept.  I don't want to infringe on your free movement.

P.S. again!

Am re-reading Zen & the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig.  Absolutely intriguing book.  I'm searching for some good reading -- you know there's nowhere to go & look for some around here  Any recommendations?