November 2, 1974 (Letter from Ken and Denise)

Gibson Park, Great Fall, Montana

Photo taken in September 1974

Sorry we didn't answer your letter sooner.  We've really been busy, and each day I say I'll write this afternoon, and the time just never came.

A lot of things have been happening in DOLLAR DATE, and with us.  I'll tell you about DOLLAR DATE first.  We're going to have a party on Dec. 14th, which will be on a Saturday.  The party will cost $5.00 for membership admission , and $2.00 for a member's friend, outside of DOLLAR DATE.  We'll have all the beer you can drink, and all the food you can eat at no other cost other than the cost of the ticket.  It will be really nice.  That's if everyone is coming.  But we're just going to invite everyone, and anyone to the Christmas party.  We're going to call people from the telephone book, and invite them to a Xmas party.  Ken is going to call everyone.  I think we'll get a lot of people to come.

We might buy a house in Mt. Oliver.  You wouldn't believe the cost of the house.  The whole house costs $1300.!!!  You should see the house.  It needs a lot of work done on it, but it's really nice.  I can picture it now when it's all finished.  It's not that big of a house, but it's really kind of cute.  It's got a little yard in the back, which is just big enough to grow a little garden, and to have our kids play in when we have kids, which is another subject that I wanted to bring up.  There is a definite possibility that I am pregnant, I'll be expecting in June.  By that time you will have a vacation coming.  You have to  come back and visit us anyway.  Later on when we take our little trip around the country, we'll come and visit you.  But we'll let you know when we're coming.

Guess who shaved their beard off?  Yes your right.  It was really weird the way he did it.  We were lying in bed watching TV, and Ken got up, said he'd be right back, went into the bathroom and stayed there for awhile.  When he got back, he scared me.  I had to take a second look.  It's really different.  I'm not that quite sued to looking at a bare face.  I'll get over it.

Kenny got a new name, it's JUMBO!  Isn't that a cute name?  Jumbo is what you call bologna in prison.  So if you hear it around where you at, you can think of JUMBO in East Liberty.

Well guess what, we've decided to let the house go.  We just had a meeting with our welfare worker, and she said if we bought the house while we were on welfare, welfare would put a lean on the house.  I just asked Kenny how to spell lean, and he said yes, l-e-a-n, but it's really a b-u-s-t.  Yes, that's just what he said.

Don't take as long to let us know what is happening with you.  I make sure to answer your next letter faster than this one.  Don't forget that you will be the Godfather of our first child.  Kenny says hi, and to take good care of yourself.

October 27, 1974 (Letter from Sue)

Really!  How could you -- how dast you insult my humble, but honest typewriting, that which has earnt me my honest (but more humble) living till I went and became a "professional"?!!  My nimble fingers ((at the machine, my dear) are known far and wide for their skill.  Though the old agility does seem to have worn off a bit of late.  It's just their (my fingers) way of telling me that they do not want to be party to any secretarial jobs.

I did like the ring of Monagahela Queen, though I suppose "Gateway Clipper" does sound clippier....

Oh -- almost forgot -- BIG NEWS!!!!  I found a job.  Not completement what I had wanted, but close enough for the time being; the salary is decent, and it will fulfill one aspect of my many faceted bag of desires...I am going to be a children's librarian in a spiffy elementary school (miles from downtown Montreal -- I take the train at the crack of dawn, and the principal meets me at my stop in front of the Kentucky Fried Chicken stand -- I feel like a combination of a character form Theodore Dreiser and one from Ken Kesey...)  I actually have (or will have) two schools to work with, though the second one isn't assigned yet.  I'm looking forward to it -- I'll have complete charge of the library and all its creative activities.  The principal seems quite encouraging of my desire to do some sort of children's theater.  Also he seems to be willing to be completely laissez-faire with regard to selection, general  policy, etc... Tomorrow is my first day; I'm sort of nervous.  (But then, I never did have your ability at nonchalance when nonchalance is due.)

One of the reasons I took the job (I'm  still having struggles with the red-taped Immigration & Manpower Service re my work permit, so I shouldn't be premature) is for the fact that school-related people get vacation...like summer and Christmas and Easter.  A very good reason to stay within the hallowed halls of academia, though Wendell would have a fit to hear me say it.

(By the way -- re Wendell's remark about "shooting your wad off before you start" -- I vaguely remember something like that, but it isn't entirely clear...What do you mean by "revealing" -- are you referring to, shalt we say, homosexual tendencies he might have?  Or are you referring to his cautious nature?  (Sort of a don't count your chickens before they hatch simile.)  Please elaborate.  Inklings into Wendell's mysterious character fascinate me.  I don't agree that he is a pompous asshole -- just a big pedagogical at times, and certainly a pain in the ass occasionally.  But I think that his heart is in the right place, which is more than I can say for the like of someone like Needlenose (B.N.) -- and I can forgive a lot for a heart in the right place...)

We have been getting involved in several film series (which is something I imagine you miss in Deer Lodge).  There's some good one around -- saw "Lacombe Lucien" which is Louis Malle's latest , and very good, if somewhat distressing.  I am finally going to see Harold and Maude (with the memory of your glowing praise), and am quite excited about it.  Montreal is progressing (I seem to say that in all of my letters -- a somewhat ambivalent statement at best) -- some day's I'm fascinated by the mix of old/old and new/garish -- on those days I enjoy walking around the city, down by the waterfront and across the tracks, looking up to Mount Royal in all its autumn splendor, enjoying the mellifluous sound of French being spoken with a peculiarly North American style.  But other days, I am depressed by the psychic and ecological pollution of the construction which is going on everywhere and ruining the flavour of the city; I become irritated with what has been pounded into my brain as the hostile attitude of the French-speaking Quebecois.  On these latter days I become very homesick for Anywhere U.S.A., and envy y ou in your rustic Lodge of Deer (as the French would translate it.)

I think I'd better continue by hand.  This typewriting is really sick, and probably annoying to read.

I'm glad you're continuing with your writing.  I think it is important.  And I'm glad that you find your surroundings conducive to a satisfying way of life.  This is very important, I think -- I think you're going to come out of Deer Lodge with a well defined sense of time and place -- (I think Pittsburgh did the same thing; for both of us).  It's exciting to have the mobility (and desire) to travel, exciting as well as very satisfying, I think.  Such a perspective is gained by seeing other ways of life and all that cliched sort of thing.  I know I'll always look back on Pittsburgh as one of the most courageous ventures I have made -- and one of the most ultimately rewarding.  (I think there's something -- lots, in fact, to be said for travelling as a single person, as well -- tho the companionship of being part of a couple is nice too.  What thinkest thou?)

Got a letter from Janet the other day -- she is working as an A/V librarian (w/ no A/V budget) in Marty's medical school.  She says the atmosphere is very congenial -- her only (mild, at that) grip is that the life of a med student's wife is not even semi-carefree bliss!  I understand all too well the loneliness for us gregarious creatures who are wedded to students.  (Loneliness in a strange city, I mean, Janet feels much in Philadelphia as I do in Montreal: not knowing anyone.  But it will come.)

Also got a bizarre letter from Michael -- which was mainly an enumeration of all his activities -- he's really becoming BTS (Big Time Stuff) with his interest in T/A, etc.  I hear thru the grapevine that he's not too happy at  Maryland though; however, Blanche is the source of this so -- as Grant says -- I "take it with a box of Morton's and an umbrella as well..."

I'm glad to hear that you enjoy the joint.  (I wrote to my parents about your job -- my father work -- counselling -- w/ inmates of the county jail -- and he says he has a distinct memory of the Deer Lodge prison as a "dreary place".  Is it?  The library sounds OK, anyway...)

Sorry that you and the dumplings of Deer Lodge aren't sweeping each other off your respective feet.  Where's that sturdy, adventurous pioneer Montana stock?  Well, perhaps your Belle of Boston will decide to trek westward.  In the meantime, I know you can be stoic about spiritual solitude.

I must dash off and take my bread pudding from the oven (doesn't that sound domestic?  Believe me, it is.  Sometimes my gypsy spirit rebels).  So I shall close.  Do write again soon -- your letters are a joy to behold, tumbling fatly through the mail slot.

Ta, ta till the next time, when I shall enumerate the no doubt fascinating tale of my escapades as a school librarian.

P.S.  I am a little confused about this Leslie thing.  In the last letter before this, I am sure that you said something to the effect that your relationship w/ Leslie was the most whole or complete, or something, you had yet encountered.  Yet, in your latest letter you state unequivocally that you have "broken off with Leslie for good".  My opinion, should you choose to accept it, is that Leslie's lack of "spunk" has been casual in her current (and future?) "lack of Paul".  N'est-ce pas?  I do think that an ounce of gumption is worth a pound of all-suffering patience.

Again -- I hope that Montana offers some of its famed majestic beauty, feminine variety, soon -- and that you don't get hornswaggled and hog-tied unwittingly into the blessed state of matrimony.  (With the rich rancher's only daughter, perhaps?)  Actually, I know it could never happen to you -- you're too damned obstinate!  (A sterling quality -- just as gumption is!)

October 25, 1974 (Letter from Barb Nelson)

Central Avenue, Great Falls Montana

Photo taken September 1974

Hello.  How have you been?  What's the weather like in Montana?

I did write you a letter a few weeks ago, but I never mailed it to you for some reason   Sorry about that Paul.  Then I went home and didn't have too much time to do anything but relax.

Now that you have been in Montana for a month or so what are you impressions?  What have you been doing in your spare time.   Sightseeing?  Mom and Larry told me you planned to do some writing in the near future.  What particular type of writing do you plan to do?  They said short stories but in what form?  It should be interesting to read some of your stories. I hope you have enough patience to be able to accomplish what you start to write.  I work under a second class photographer who just got booted out of the photo lab because of his behavior.  They said his work was excellent but his attitude was very immature for a 22 year old man.  He gets all excited over an incident and acts irrationally before he has a chance to think matters through.  He could try to understand why he is in the situation he's in.  It's hi own fault.

I had a nice visit at home.  It took me 11 hours to get home and by the time I got there my head was all in knots.  I did decide to move back on base and stay there, after I had a talk with the family.  Larry and I got to talking about saving our money and then going in on some land together. I will sell my car in the near future and pay off my college loan.  Then I will put away more money for the future.  With a goal in mind I'll be able to withstand the Navy for three more years.  Then Larry and I talked about going to Sweden, after I get out of the Navy, if we weren't married by that time.

So I'm doing fine at Norfolk.  I work in cleaning, but it is my choice.  I scrub the stairs every morning and usually run officers around base.  It's not too bad of a job for the moment.  I'll have to see what opportunity arises in the future.

I will start handywork.  I have three orders for sweaters already.  I want to learn to crochet because I have found some cute patterns.

I already know what I'm making for you, Larry, and Dale for Xmas.  I will have to find the right material.

Well, that's about it for now.  Take care and have a happy birthday.

Letter from Mrs. Peroski (October 24, 1974)

Gibson Park, Great Falls Montana

Photo taken September 1974

It was real nice to come home from work and find a letter from you.  I am glad to hear that you like your job.  It must be very interesting and you sound great.  Keep up the good work.

Grandma doesn't know where to begin about little "Matthew".  He is quite a boy and I love him very much.  He is doing just fine, as you know he weighed 9 lbs 7 oz when he was born.  No little baby I would say and now he is 6 wks old and he looks like a real live doll.  Bless him.  I hope he continues to do as well as he is doing now.  Mardi had him to the doctor on Fri for his first checkup and the doctor said he is doing fine.  He is eating cereals, strained fruit, which he likes very much because they are sweet.  He also gets vitamins.  Paul, if you could just see him you would just love him; because he is beginning to notice everything around him and makes funny noises.  Most of all  when he smiles.  He laughs all the time and he has you laughing.  Mike sure would get a big kick out of him too.  I'm sure when you both see him for the first time, he will be a big boy.

By the way I heard from Mike and I guess he is coming along OK now.  I think it has been a bit tough in the beginning.  He gave me impression, anyway.  The weather is just great and he lives a short way from the beach and has a place of his own.

By the way "Happy Birthday" and I hope you have a nice one.  Just wish we all could be together to hlpe you celebrate.  So go out and celebrate with one of your new friends, but don't get bombed.

When we get a nice picture of Matthew  we will send you one.  Mardi had some taken at Jamesway yesterday.  I hope they turn out.  In the meantime take good care of yourself and stay warm.  I hear over the news report it's getting cold.  We have had our first snow last wk.  The weather these last few days was great.  Paul, remember we all are thinking of your and love to hear from you.

Birthday Card Note from Mardi (October 24,1974)

First English Lutheran Church, Great Falls, Montana

Photo taken September 1974

Any snow yet, we are just recovering from our weekend of "snowbound".

Happy birthday to you!  Almost forgot what this card was for!

Glad to hear your job is going well.  It looks as if I maybe in the job hunting market.  I will hopefully be in at Struthers.  As much as I'm spoiled just "hangin' around", but I am looking forward to the 8-5 drag -- would you believe?

Called Barb Sat and she's moving home.  She's giving up Boston.  Hope her next move is her final move.  You never know what may come up.

Mike called my mother also this weekend -- it was 79 and "balmy".  BLAAAA!  Guess he's alright who knows?!

They've started working on the old Turner building and they should be in at the end of November and the plcae should look great.  Hope business is the same!!!!

Have a good day and will write again soon.

I'm getting some pictures made ot send to you.  Take care.

Birthday Note from Grayce (October 29, 1974)

Old parsonage, First English Lutheran Church, Great Falls Montana

Photo taken in September 1974

Isn't it something how holidays seem to not happen individually -- but altogether? (Today may be a famous day -- someday, mightn't it?)

I would wish you everything good for this next year of your life,k but knowing what I know, I know you certainly will have this -- so, my wish for you is that having everything you might use it and and enjoy it its fullest and that in doing this you may be happy.

October 24, 1974 (Letter from Bev)

How do you like your job and what's it like in Montana?  Grayce told me that you were working in a prison library.  Speaking of Grayce -- Diane and I went to her wedding.  Bill Snyder was there, but had to leave.  He had an accident and both of his headlights were knocked out.  He leaves for the army in January.  I don't know if Bill Louden got a job yet.  Have you heard from anyone at GSLIS?  Diane has a job in the library at the Customs House in Philadelphia.  I don't think she has started working yet.

Since September 16th I've been working as the medical librarian at Delaware State Hospital (it's a mental hospital).  The library is small  but quite adequate for the staff.  I do everything in the library, including shelving books!  I'm kept busy everyday and often I don't get things done that I had planned to do.  Some of the doctors expect to be waited on when they come into the library.  I'm not too pleased with having to look call numbers up and then get the books off the shelves while some doctor is following me around.  But how do I put an end to something like that which is expected of me?

This past weekend I went to a Medical Library Association conference at Rutgers.  Janet Seltman, who is working at Medical College of Pa., w there.  I met many people, including the librarian from Eastern Psychiatric Institute.  She's nothing like the late J. O'Mara.

I'm living in the town of New Castle, which is small (pop about 4,000) and safe (I hope).  My apartment is in an old house which was built around 1800.  I have a bedroom, bath, small kitchen, and combination dining-living room area.  The apartment was unfurnished and still isn't exactly what one would call furnished.  So far, I only have the essentials -- bed, dresser, table, and two chairs.  Hopefully, by spring I'll have a sofa.

Are you employed by the Federal government or the state of Montana?  I'm working for the State of Delaware, which gives me a lot of Monday holidays.  The benefits are good, probably better than working for a public library.

I wish you the best on your birthday and I hope that you are happy with your job.  Keep in touch.

October 22, 1974 (Letter from Grayce)

I've always really liked train whistles.  There's something very sad about them, though.  Today, on the way home from work (I have an hr and 15 minute bus ride) I got this overwhelming impulse to go to the ocean.  This is the first year of my life (except for my 1st possibly) that I have not gone to see my ocean.  I feel disloyal -- honest, it's a terrible feeling.  My favorite time to be there is about 8 o'clock (pm), all alone, when all the people are getting ready to go on the boardwalk.  It's the most peaceful time, especially if you can climb out over the rock and just sit.  I like Cape May best (have you ever been?) 'cause it's really unspoiled.  Sunrise is pretty nice, too, except the only time I've ever been was after I had stayed up all night and I was probably too exhausted those times to quietly appreciate.  (Aren't you thrilled to be hearing all this?)

*I thought you might appreciate this -- please notice the similarity between my present address and that of my parents.

You sound quite happy about work and that makes me happy.  I'm sure the people you help are really glad to have you.  I'm sure you're learning even more than they are.  When I was at Villanova, I took a course called "Black Urban Experience" (which was a sociology major's practicum but I convinced the dept head that a phil major should have this type of course, also.)  Most of the other soc courses seemed pretty worthless.  I was really glad I got this course (did I tell you about it?) We were really to design our own project and everyone did something different.  Most of the kids were afraid to go into Phila and do something so they picked a "ghetto" area around V.U. which is really a laugh since the rent average around that area is about 200/300 a month and hardly any of the blacks in Ardmore were exactly poor.

But I had been going up to Temple a lot (most of my friends were in Theater there) and had helped with the production of The Cage which was put on by this Barbed Wire Society -- a group of ex-cons who live together in a sort of commune, only not so utopian as many are.  So I decided to apply with them for a semester.  It was one of the best things I ever did -- although I must admit I was scared at first.  In fact, there 2 guys later told me they were apprehensive about me at first, too, because they didn't trust me.   (They didn't trust me?)  Anyway, I can understand you excitement about what you're doing and I know you'll be very successful because of the type of person that you are.

You told me to remind you of apples this time, so APPLES.

I always said you led a charmed life.  I recognized it almost immediately.  It wasn't in any specific instance, but there was something there.  I don't mean to harp (honest) but in a way, fate does tie in here.  I do not feel that I am fated to be a famous person per se, or very successful in a conventional way.  Rather, I seem drawn to certain people I know will be.  (You being one whom I feel has a certain thing to do.)  One of my friends told me (one who I feel will be very "famous") (I don't mean this in any sensational way) that she felt that she had to know me and that her whole future might depend on that.  When she said this I was just appalled.  I was even a bit afraid of her for awhile.  I certainly am no "guiding light" and I told her so but she still persists in this belief and usually before she does anything of even slight importance she consults me.  Of course, my "advice" is not always heeded and sometimes I hesitate or refuse to give any.  (Once I gave it unasked when I thought she was in particular danger and she was not at all pleased, for which she was really right, so I never did that again.)

Anywhoooo -- I've forgotten what the point of this entire things was in the first place now.  I certainly have a keen mind!   I was going to ask something about your statement about your erratic and non-committal character, but it's gone now, oh well...I'll probably think of it just as I'm mailing this.

I don't suppose I will ever get to read your journals unless they are published huh?  (Not that I'd expect to; I don't think I'd let anyone read mine.)  I don't suppose they will ever be published within my lifetime (this one, anyway) either, since they will probably go into print after y our are gone and with your healthy notions you'll definitely outlive me -- at least by 30 years, I'd guess.  I think I'll die by the time I'm 55.  (Of course, I won't mind if I live longer.)  Then I guess during my next lifetime I will come across them in a bookstore (providing I like to read in my next lifetime) and I will instantly be drawn to them.  After all, I do feel that I've known you before and probably for a fairly long time. Why else would things happen the way they do?  Why do we meet some people who are very much like us and whom we really don't like and don't feel drawn to?  (Sorry about the dangling participle, I'm always doing that.)  And then others who may be very different from us seem like old friends in a little short while?

Anyway, I'll be that man you met on the way to Minneapolis who was your father from another life or something like that.  I love to think about stuff like that.

Diane got that job in Phila.  I knew she would.  She will like it very much, I'm sure.  Also, she's only a 30 minute ride form Bev in Delaware.  And now when I come home for visits I can see them at least.  I don't think Pittsburgh can ever be my home.  I'm probably being very unfair, but it's just a big Altoona to me, y'know?  I feel kind of isolated in this place.  The neighbors are mostly older, but not old enough for me to go visit (more nearly my parent's age than my grandparents' age.) This sounds weird, I know, but I just feel this way.  I miss having friends my age to clown around with and I can't let myself become wholly dependent on Brook (although that would be really easy) because it just isn't good.

You might have guessed from my tone (bongggg) that I'm slightly lonely.  Actually, I shouldn't have time to be lonely.  When I'm not working or climbing my 1 1/2 mile hill to get to work from the bus, I'm sanding shelves (with that little sander we bought at Sears that day) or painting, or...ad nauseum.  So -- don't listen to me.  I'm a complainer from way back -- as I'm sure you've already surmised.

I must say first that I feel very sorry for Leslie.  I've never met her, but I know about her that she has good taste and that she has intuition and great love.  I suppose a final ending is best and in the long run hurts less than a long drawn out one.  I do hope she is alright as she seems so in love with you.

I think I have mentally written this part of the letter at least twelve times (mostly on the bus), and the versions have ranged from the sublime to the ridiculous.  Each one has also been mentally ripped up and thrown into the mental circular file.  My basic feeling is likely to be vague and I hope you will be patient with me.  I simply cannot write about this to any great extent.  The things I would like to say to you are things which should be said; they are things which go better with a smile and a hug rather than things which go with ink and paper.  Please understand.  I know you will.

Do you think we can postpone any further discussions of this until we can do it in person?  (I feel certain that we will be able to in the near future.)

I admire and respect your honesty (for telling me) and your self-discipline (for not telling me all the times you probably wanted to.)

Please know how fortunate I feel to be your friend.  Our friendship certainly has enduring qualities -- tempered strength.  I trust you, which is something that usually takes me longer to do than a few months. You must know that you have a very special place in my heart.

October 20, 1974 (Letter from Larry)

I wanted to tell you about the plans Barb and I have.

Even if we're married we still want to get some land together.  Barb says she plans to sell her car, pay off her loan and then start saving.  I'm starting to be more careful of how I spend my money so I can save as much as possible. Dad might be retiring in  3 years so maybe he would want to go in on the land also.  He did mention about getting a house trailer when he retires.  That would make things nice if we found some land without a house on it.  I think Mom and Dad decided that building a new house would be too expensive, especially with the price of lumber and building materials.  It would be nice to get something like Ed's aunt's farm.

If you wanted to go in on it too, it would be nice.  By then you'll probably be out of Montana. Maybe you'd have a job in New England.  It's hard to say what everybody will be doing 3 or 4 years from now, but it would be nice if we could all be together.

Barb and I were thinking of going to Sweden after she gets out of the navy.  I'm sure I could take the time off from work.  Frank will probably be here for four more y ears and it would be bests to tke the time off before he left.  The Crary's might not even be living in 3 yeras.  If both of them died I would most likely leave Warren.

Well, I just wanted to tell you my dreams (and Barb's.).

Have a good birthday.

October 7, 1974 (Letter from Sue)

Deer Lodge, Montana!  How quaint and rustique!  I was pleased to learn you actually did take the job -- imagine, you, the most bored of all in the underserved class, are actually serving them!  No, that's not sour grapes -- but aren't you glad now that you sat through my book talk in prisons?  (I'm sure it doesn't make a damned bit of difference!)

I'm sure that the change of pace is interesting.  I understand your feeling about leaving Pittsburgh -- one grows very fond of that funky old town -- I am often quite nostalgic.  But such a change from eastern industrialization to Rocky Mountain "high" can't be anything but intriging.  You living situation sounds very good -- I'm sure you'll get to know the other people in teh area, and I'm sure as well that you are making friends with many of the inmates (since, from what you tell me of their "crimes", there but for the grace of God go you...)

I told you about my friend in Albany who was a prison libn at Comstock, didn't I?  Just got a letter from him today -- he's fed up totally with his present job (academic lib -- serials -- Catholic private 4-yr college and a real drag as the place is run with an iron first by one of the Jesuits), but he's doing "counselling" (for lack of a better word) at the county jail.  If you ever want to get in touch with him re his experiences as prison libn, his name and address are Bill Demo, 390 Hamilton St., Albany, N.Y., as of 10/16 -- he's moving there.

I guess that I already told (fucking typewriter!) you that he was a part of the same library system  (god damn it) university system as you, as he got his MIS from SUNY Albany.

Your library sound really good -- good environment, etc.  It even sounds as if you have pretty much freedom in how you run it (Blue Oyster Cult, et al.), which is great (that was Bill's complaint -- that he couldn't deal with the warden at all). I think you may actually enjoy the next year or so.  I can certainly imagine you, out on the Dear Lodge mountain range, in teh midst of splendiferous autumnal sunsets, tucked away in  your little cottage in the winter as the cold mountain winds range about you ( I have this picture of McCabe and Mrs. Miller), but there you are, indifferent, with your boots off, yhour feet up in front of the fireplace, an open bottle of whiskey in front of you...(and a young lovely in the background?  I do hope so!)

And of course, there's always your work at the library to keep you warm.  Seriously, it does sound like a "rewarding experience" (whatever that is) -- as if you'll be able to , as you say, fill some sort of need in your "patrons" lives...(I've never liked the word patron  nor am I found of "user" or "reader" or "client".  How about libraryees?)  I think you've done admirably well, your first month out of library school.

As for my situation (I actually feel guilty not working yet) -- I am looking (we got the phone) (number 514-932-8378, just in case you ever need to call --) rather wholeheartedly as a matter of fact.  I did get one offer at one of the JC's in the area -- reference libn. night work with the potential to develop into full-time day work.  But I didn't take it as 1) I didn't like the library; 2) it was way too far away to commute, and 3) Bart and I would never have seen each other.

So far, the possibilities range from Fine Arts Ref at one of the local universities to Asst Libn at a public library (bilingual, with a chance to build up the children's collection) to subject indexing and aggressive telephoning at a local scandal rag.  The beset thing, though, is that I contacted the Archivist at McGill Library about oral history interviewing (they have a History of McGill project here, as well as an Oral Hist dept.) and he wrote back, asking me to come in for an interview.  Which I have tomorrow.  I don't know what this means (the fact of the interview), but at least we can talk about the possibilities, as finger-popper would say.  (Tho' I don't mean those kind of possibilities).  The Archivist is supposed to be "crotchety and brilliant" -- I'm really very eager to meet him.

The only thing that is disturbing me is:  what if I shouldn't find a job?  (A possibility which I have mentioned to no one else).  It would be such a blow to my grad-school ego!  It's such a drag hearing all the time how "tight" things are everywhere.  There seems to be lots of jobs for catalogers  but I just can't consider that.  It would be too debilitating.  I'd rather design information systems.

Of course, though, I will find a job -- it's just the limbo-esque quality of the job hunt that is sometimes a little bizarre.  What about others in our class?  Who else has found a job, and where?

I am so sorry to have missed the gala events aboard the Monagahela Queen (or whatever the riverboat was...) and stop at the Triangle!  It sounds as if it was very festive.  Speaking of festivities, just think -- it was about a year ago that we merrily made our way to Atlantic City (ah, Erwin!).  That will always stand out in my mind as one of the primary events of grad school.  (The convention, not just Erwin.)

And, speaking of Atlantic City -- have you heard of or from Michael?  I wrote him a long letter -- as he most emphatically told me that I had let him down in not writing to tell him when I would return to Pittsburgh -- but I haven't heard hide nor hair from him.  I guess he's doing well at Maryland...(Knowing Michael, he would do well anywhere...)

I got a letter from Susan Zaretsky.  She corroborated your report that Phil has changed ("reformed" is how she put it).  Barbara Immroth is in the Ph.D program -- and Susan saw Carmelle one day -- Carmelle is living at home and looking for a job and the report is that she and Gregg "split up" and he is teaching in Erie.  Whether that means they split up due to non-proximity or due to non-compatibility, I don't know.

Also received a brief note from Grant -- no gossip, though.  Just to tell me about a GSLIS grad who is teaching at the Univ of Montreal.

We are planning to go to Vermont this weekend (Monday is Canadian Thanksgiving -- did you even heard of such a thing?!).  I find myself becoming very homesick for the gold old U.S. of A.  I must be getting old.  Being in exile never bothered me before.  But anyway, I have a great desire to see the New England autumn, in all its splendid foliage -- a veritable palette, I hear!  Besides, I quite liked Vermont when we passed through in August -- maybe I'll check out the library in St. Albans!

Oh -- one professional commitment I have made (such a rambling letter, this) is that I've joined SLA (just think of all the extra conventions I can go to!).  I felt that this would help me to get to know the library community a little better, and might prove to be beneficial in the job hunt.  They're having a meeting tomorrow night -- might be interesting.  (Though the dinner speech is the thrilling topic of "Studying Libraries with the Use of Outsiders".  Just hear the implications of a closed, smug little library community!)  (Too bad you're not here -- I'm sure you'd be fascinated).  Anyway, they have a cocktail hour before the meeting, so it shouldn't be too bad!

I am also taking a course in French for Library Science (again, with the idea that I might meet some people who could be helpful...)  About the only thing is that I am learning a lot of technical terminology I didn't know, and I get to use the college library.

Aside from all this brouhaha and general nonsense, Montreal progresses.  We are getting more and more settled, though there are difficulties related to my lack of exposure to the community and our general feeling of being cut off.  In other words, it takes time to make friends, and twice as long if one is part of a couple, and my social nature needs lots of social intercourse.  (No pun intended, and please don't jump to any hasties!)  I am generally impatient -- I want to be settled in, with a job, and a coterie of friends -- and, of course, all this take time.  I sometimes miss the independence I had in Pittsburgh, but the companionship I have with Barb outweighs the other, so...in general, things are pretty good.

Well, I'm making more and more mistakes with this infernal machine (whatever happened to my secretarial skills!) -- so I shall close.  Do write again, as winter rounds the bend into the homestretch -- and do tell me more about your job, the prison system, etc.  (Also -- do you think Barb might come out to Montana?  Why haven't you mentioned it to Leslie?  You and Leslie have what my mother would term a "relationship filled with mysterious nuances".)

 Also let me know where you will be at Christmas -- maybe we can arrange to see each other.  In the meantime, Montana's Native Son (it was Wendell who told me you were born there-- I didn't destroy his illusions...), take care.

P.S.  Do you still hear from Ken?  Now is his Dollar Date progressing?  I am really glad that things seem to be working out for him. (I feel personally involved after attending his wedding.)

October 4, 1974 (Letter from Grayce)

Let me begin by answering your questions...(and let you begin by feeling the proper guilt for not having answered all of mine!) -- actually, I'm only jesting -- although I would be quite pleased if only you could tell me your opinion about fate (please?!?).  I know I am a terrible pest (mea culpa, etc.), but if only the kind gentle man (may I sop here and tell you -- yes I do have some point to make, only wait a few more seconds...) what a perfectly (oh well, almost perfectly, I supposed no one is really perfect -- I mean within reason) kind and thoughtful  person you are to take an interest in that woman.  This is the kind of thing you can't say in person very well, so I'm  happy that I can write it.  (Sorry to be writing on the wrong side of this, but what with the paper shortage )

So anyway, please comply (or be pestered completely!  (abt. fate, I mean).

Now (finally and with no more ado!) your questions:  1) tete-a-tete; 2) no, you did not tell me why Pgh was a fantasyland for you.  Why?; 3) no, I never (hardly ever, maybe) capitalize library science -- which brings me to the next question -- #4 ("What is your actual opinion of library science as a career? Be truthful now.")

Let me ask you if you have ever read Plato's Republic?  In it there is a discussion of the real and the unreal.  Plato feels that for each thing on earth there is some perfection which is being imitated.  (i.e.) If there is a chair on earth it is really only a chair, while the chair (or chairness) is somewhere else and being the only perfect chair nothing matches it -- although all good chairs aspire (to different degrees, naturally).  These perfections are form (essential forms of goodness).

Now -- he tells an allegory of a cave into which prisoners are taken (that's us Tweet).  They are forced to sit facing one of the walls.  In back of them (and they can never turn around) there is a "stage" where things and people can be.  They can move and be moved.  No -- I'm sorry.  The people and things are actually in front of the prisoners, but it happens that they are hidden from the prisoners by a roaring fire which comes between the 2 groups.  

Naturally, the fire casts a shadow of the people and things behind it onto  the wall which the prisoners face.  They see only the image and not the real and the recognize the image as the reality.

If they were released from those chains it would perplex them to be confronted with reality.  It would be painful, but it would be "worth it" since they would experience wisdom.

The last thing to be perceived in the world of knowledge is the essential form of goodness (true reality).  Without this, wisdom is not possible, so it is necessary to detach appearances and reality.

Therefore -- library science seems fit to relegate to the realm of the image (the shadow  rather than being anything real.  It appears to be a passive, menial "profession" with very little to offer one who wants to perform a real function.  It does not seem to be the type of work an activist could be attached to, being so staid and dry.

We -- as librarians -- are confined, it seems to me that we realized this before though, if not consciously, then at least in a small subconscious way.  We just hoped for more, you know?  I suppose to finish the comparison, we are kept from really doing (as the prisoners are kept from really seeing).  If we were given a chance to act maybe we wouldn't be up to accepting it -- or maybe we just wouldn't know what to do.

It would further seem that we could free ourselves but that this would involve hardship ($ not mental) and also what else would we do?

I don't know if this makes any sense at all, really.  At this point I'm hardly the person who would be stable enough to see anything like this clearly and you are probably all ready to have me escorted (white jackets, etc.) to the nearest looney bin.

I suppose my job is not too bad.  It is very hectic and I'm not exactly bored.  But by exactly bored I mean that it's frustrating in many ways.  It certainly is a far cry from what I've ever had planned as a lifework for myself.  I sometimes just stop and wonder just what the hell I'm doing at that place where nuns and only other women abound (I like to talk to men once in awhile and I'm sick of hearing about the guys at Vincent's - Seton Hill's brother school).  Every girl at Seton Hill dates someone from Vincent's -- how quaint! how parochial!!

Seton Hill is a cookie factory -- where almost (I have met some very interesting people) everyone is awfully similar.  It's just depressing   It is also a place where not to much (or no) independent or creative thought of any kind is appreciated.  (Do you know that I stapled something in an "unorthodox" way and had to remove all the stuff I did and change it.  I mean how mundane can you get?)  Also I am in charge of reserves which is a realllll pain (and not only an apparent one!)

I certainly sound mean.  I do the vertical file (subject headings, acquisitions, etc.) which I enjoy but hardly ever get to touch because of "priorities".  I also "do" the picture collection which I have never done 'cause of the above.

Also (last but certainly not least) I do the library statistics!  (And nI am not so good at it, either!) and I get to copy them all very neatly into a ledger -- a real scrivener!

(Ah Bartleby!  Ah, humanity!

I'm certainly being good company, well -- anyway, Bev seems quite thrilled about her job, so I suppose there's some good in it.  She (and you, too) are at least on your own.  Although I shouldn't complain 'cause I'm definitely learning something from the 2 people I work with.  (If it's of value remains to be seen,m of course!)

I don't know, I just hope things turn out all right.  (That's the trouble with being brought up Catholic -- always hoping for miracles.  Maybe I should move to New York and hang around 34th Street?)

This week has been been going pretty well -- actually (and surprisingly).  Yesterday, I got to see Diane (who had an interview at the Phila Customs House where I used to work!) for dinner.  It was so nice, almost like old times.  She is staying with Bev in Delaware.   (Bev works at Delaware State Hosp.)  It would really be nice if Diane got this job.  I hope she does; it's really a neat place to be.  Only 1 block from the wharfs -- really picturesque.  Also, she wants to be near home but not too near, so this would fit in.

I took the bus home (horrors!) on Wed.  I met the most intriguing person.  This guy from London who was traveling across America by thumb and by bus.  Her certainly was nice and we talked (nonstop) for seven hours.  When Phila came, (he was going to N.Y.) we had dinner and I felt as though I were leaving an old friend when we kissed goodbye.  It was very strange, but very nice.  He said that parts of my Philadelphia accent were borrowed from very high class (snobby) English, and he was amazed that he was hearing this in America.  (Imagine that!)  I suppose I shall have to tone that down!  (If I ever went to England it wouldn't help because I could never be mistaken for class!)

I think we've miscommunicated about perceiving what others really feel and think.  I do believe it can be done and I feel I often do it, but I wonder if what we think is the subconscious thought or feeling which we are viewing is really only another coverup.  Or a calculated thing?

That's really what made me take up reading cards.  Not so much to inform the other person of himself, but often to inform myself about the other person.  There are insights to be gotten from not only the information the cards give, but also the reactions the person has to what the card say.   These insights are not otherwise readily available for view in any form, let alone a form so easily discernible.

What? -- oh, never mind;  it's a vicious circle.

Right now I am very happy about the wedding and I thank you for you good wishes.  I'm most excited about going to New England this week because I know it will be gorgeous.  I'm sorry to go on about this but It's the only thing (violins, softly  which I have had to look forward to for the past few months.

Please do send me come smpale of your writing if you wish to, ok?  I would like it very much.  Take care now.

P.S.  I haven't seen Kate or spoken to her.  Everytime I call her she seems to be out.  I will say "hello" to her for you when I finally do get to see her.

October 6, 1974 (Letter from Tom)

Received your letter Saturday, and tonight is the first chance I've had to respond.  Letter writing is a very moody thing with me, sometimes they flow and sometimes they drip.

It sounds like you got caught by an early hurricane and swept along with good fortune.  Is it really big sky country?  I've always wanted to visit and spend some time in the western states, among other places, and this certainly increases the incentive.

It's a cold, cold (record cold!!) October night in Pittsburgh, and I'm glad I don't have to go out for any reason tonite because I haven't adjusted to the abrupt change in the weather.  I am in a new apartment since I saw you last, I'm living in Regent Square, near Frick Park and just a few steps from the Regent Square Theater, where Bobbi and I and a friend went to see Chinatown a couple of weeks ago.  We have a large apartment 6 rms $125 with heat included since it's a radiator steam set-up.  The place is no palace, but it has a lot of potential and the price is reasonable given the alternatives in Pittsburgh these days.  It's convenient because there is a drug store, a nice laundromat with some good magazines and new 20 cent paperbacks that are very decent, then there is an Isaly's and a hardware store, three of four little food stores and a bunch of other little places I don't pay much attention to like beauty parlors, a gun shop, etc.  One big drawback is that there are two bars adjacent to both sides of the building which attracts a very loud and annoying group that likes to sit in front of the place -- occasionally and rev their motorcycles for a half hour or so.  All in all, it's alright, but we are keeping our eyes open for a house somewhere around here that we can rent because we like to have more freedom to do what we want.

I have also started a new job, which I don't think I knew about when I spoke to you last.  I'm working at the Friend Peace Center on Ellsworth Ave in Oakland.  I saw an ad in the Forum one Friday and thought it might just be what I was looking for.  I found out that I got the job a day or two before I did the biodecision study and I started a couple of days after I got out, and I've been very busy most of the time since then.  The center is refocusing its energies, while trying to keep the war in Indochina in the public eye, as you may know we are spending almost 2 billion dollars in Indochina and it's not going to peaceful pursuits.  Also we are involved in military counseling for anyone who wants to know what their rights are in terms of the military.  I am responsible for this military counseling since the woman I replaced was doing it before me, and I also do a one hour radio program on WYEP-FM that new station in Oakland -- the program is called -- for lack of a better name -- Friends Peace Center report.  Well I'm not sure that this is the thing I was looking for, it's a lot of work and very little compensation, not only that I earn $50 a week, but there is a definite lack of helpful advice and encouragement from the people I work with, but each day is kinda different there and I may resolve my doubts yet.

The biodecision experiment was interesting actually and the group I was in got the better half of the deal and I would do it again, though naturally I would like to be in a position where I would not need to consider doing these studies, but for the moment I'm glad to have it.

I'm really curious to hear more about Montana, and your experiences in the prison, and I would like to write more but I must be up very early tomorrow because I have to get some blood drawn at biodecision before I go to work tomorrow (ha!).  Well listen, I hope to stay in touch with you and I expect to be in a biodecision study starting the 11th and then the following two weekends which is usually  a good time for me to write so I hope to year from you some time soon.

October 5, 1974 (Letter from Tony)

The foregoing (photocopied letter) was written awhile ago but I figured I'd send it along just to fill you in a bit.

I'm finding that living alone has a great many advantages.  I now must assume a great responsibility over what I'm doing with my time and my future.   It's very comfortable to have others around to play with whenever one wants, but it can also be very restrictive.   Now I can do things with others if I want to expend some effort, so my social outings are now much more selective and, consequently  consist of doing what I want, when I want to.  I guess I've never felt more free than I do now.  My classes this semester were purposely arranged to fall mainly on Tuesday and Thursday and consist mostly of those subjects that I'll need for the bar exams and haven't as yet taken.  Conceptually, the main three are quite simple and my time can be spent more on the remaining course, Lands Use and Development and the Sanctioning Process.  The latter is almost an undergraduate style course, but with a major paper requirement, Land Use is the most interesting of my courses because it ties in most directly with the city planning area of the law that I expect to go into when I graduate.

This is my last year of school!  Grades now mean less than the little they have meant, and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  This contributes to my sense of freedom.

I guess it's all the factors mentioned about, plus a certain amount of wisdom gleaned from the Dark Ages of the past two years, which have put me in my present "high on lie" state of mind.  I've been experiencing a joy, that I thought had been lost, in just walking or shopping or talking or being with others, yes, even in studying.  I feel confident that whatever lies in my future, I will be able to appreciate it.  I'm also quite confident that I will get into something I will enjoy as  work, whether by luck or skill or perseverance.   

When I was home I went to Lilydale with my mother, my younger sister Bonnie and Harvey.  I guess that you've heard of the place.  It's a spiritualist colony just outside of Cassadaga.  We were directed to Mrs. Isabel Ferguson by my aunt who used to go there frequently.  I was invited in by Mrs. Ferguson.  She didn't ask my name of any questions, just started out by telling me that she saw that I was going to law school in California.  Her powers of seeing the situation each of us was in at that time is undeniable.  She told Harvey he was looking for a job, saw that he had a former connection to law, etc.  Most impressive.  If her powers of seeing the future are as good then I have another reason for feeling confident.  She told me I'd live long and be very lucky.  She gave me names of people I'd meet etc.  She told Harvey he'd get a job along an ocean coast far from Lilydale.  If old Harv lands a job on the west coast, my future is golden.

Have you ever read any of the works of Celine?  He's a tremendously powerful writer.  I'm reading Death on the Installment Plan and it just sweeps my mind from its mooring in this torrent of dreamlike scenes.

Now then, here's the plan.  I would like to come up to Deer Lodge for a visit around Thanksgiving time.  I'll be looking for a ride up anytime after Nov. 20.  Our vacation is Nov 28 & 29, and with only a few classes being missed, I can extend that to about 1 1/2 weeks.  What's really tempting is the prospect that I could, after Thanksgiving, not come back here, miss only 2 weeks of classes and then not have any commitments until Jan 8, the day for my first final.  More pragmatically  I could come back here by Dec. 1, then fly to Buffalo Dec 12 and stay until Jan 6.  But anyway, let me know if you'll be around Deer Lodge from Nov 20-Dec 1, and if I could come visit OK?

Enough for now.  Take care and write back with your usual promptness.

August 27, 1974 (Letter from Leslie)

Am sitting here listening to WRPI and the music they are playing is wiping me out.  "Countdown to Ecstasy" continues to fascinate me with Joni Mitchell's "Court and Spark"  carrying on at a parallel level.  Good musicianship is soothing to my ear.  I think you are one of the possible few who have the same feelings about music that I do and I really miss listening to it with you.  I missed having your presence in touch with me and I am glad to begin again.

Today classes started again, strange to be in school again and yet the feel of fall approaching and classes starting is quite ingrained especially scenes from Buffalo.  At fall old memories are recalled with clarity and passion.

By the end of the month I had to have my car inspected so I called yesterday and made arrangements to have it don today.  I got to the garage at twenty of nine and left it about 12:10.  The man said I needed 3 new tires and he went to price some tire for me.   I was not surprised -- I had noticed thin spots and had hoped they would go away.  Also the power steering was beginning to leak very bad so I had them repair that and I bought 5 new tires for the Dart.  Had changed the oil on Sunday so now I feel like I have a new car.  Of course, I paid for it cheerfully with my Amoco charge card.

Last Sunday was Women's Day celebration in Washington Park and it was an incredibly beautiful and satisfying day.  The sun was beaming and I just soaked it up for hours.  The first time I went with Carol and Rob and we walked around for a couple hours and then we went back for lunch and then Carol and I went bike riding (have some great houses to show you) and ended up watching a women's softball game in the park.  It was just one of those days that felt like there should be no work tomorrow only another day in the sun.  After that we rode back and the three of us had dinner together with Carol doing the cooking.

Yesterday I made banana bread using Carol's roommate's recipe.  I had forgotten that my mother had given me 7 bananas so they became very ripe, too ripe to eat as a banana.  I did not want to throw them out so thought about making banana bread.  Haven't baked in a long time and it felt good to be setting out my ingredients and pre-heating the oven.  It came out delicious and the batter made three good size loaves.  Put one in the freezer box -- excuse me a minute WRPI is playing this incredible song "Nixon's the one he is the only one we believe in Nixon N I X O N Nixon's the only one", all with a chorus and orchestration and a marching band at the end.  Whew can't believe that.  Back to the bread, one in the freezer one is being eaten and I'm giving the other one to Robin and Carol.  Next time I bake I will send you a sample as I will then have your address.

Soda is curled and purring in my lap.  I wish you were in my lap.

"Itchycoo Park" by Small Faces.  Have heard it before but didn't know who did it.  Also "I Can't Explains" by David Bowie -- didn't know he did that.  Well will pick up the pen later.

(9-30-74) -- I keep putting off writing to you -- there are a lot of things I want to say and I guess it doesn't matter what order they come in.  Obviously things have changed since I wrote the first part of the letter.

The day your letter arrived I knew it was coming, but I was not prepared for what you had to say.  I can't say if I was really surprised or not though I know I can't say I'm glad it's over.  I just feel very sad that we were never together when we should have been.  For over a year and a half we have seen each other very briefly and it's just made our relationship an impossibility.  Even before that I did not see you on a very regular basis so it is no wonder that you have not fallen in love with me. 

What the hell did you want with me?  Why was there so much ambiguity on your part?  When you did not write by the end of May I thought that it was over, but then you called and then later I saw you in New York City.  I really thought that you wanted to try again and now I get your letter.  I feel sad and I feel frustrated as hell.

I feel very upset -- seeing you again was like coming home.  I forgot how many of the same things we enjoyed and how nice it was to be held and to make love with you.  I would have come to you in Montana after I had graduated.   I'm glad you didn't wait until I came out to visit you in November to tell me this.  At the present time there is not much use in my coming to visit you.

I don't want to be friends and occasionally lovers.  I wanted to be lovers first and then friends.  I still do but if you have finally made up your mind, then you have made up your mind.  I'm not happy but I do not want to break off all contact with you yet, I am expecting you to write back and perhaps explain yourself a little better.

That's all I have to say right now -- I don't  feel like chatting about music.  Please note, I have moved -- maybe I will explain at a later day why.  My new address is:  14 Kent St. Albany, N.Y. 12206.  I'm not living with Robin and Nancy -- Carol lives downstairss.

September 29, 1974 (Letter from Grace Swanson)

Congratulations on your new position!  I was so thrilled when I read of it in the church newsletter. By going into the area of library science, you have chosen a satisfying field of service to people. But -- by entering the penal service, you are enabling yourself to aid, to assist, to enrich, and permanently change those damaged lives with whom you are now working.  So many of our delinquents and prisoners are the results of poor or neglected home, bad companions, and inability to read.

A friend of mine who is both a psychologist and reading teacher worked for years at Grove City, Pa.  She was on 24 hour call -- just like a doctor -- until her health failed.  She had taught evening classes at Thiel College, also.

"George Junior" is a private place for delinquent boys and they can be put there only by orders of a judge.  If they have a good record at GJR, then no penal charges are placed against them on their life and work records.

Edna never found a good reader among the thousands of boys she worked with.  They were all very poor or non-readers.  And when a child can't read, there's very little he can do in that school room to make his presence felt -- except to cause trouble.  That brings him plenty of attention quickly. Soon, he's in trouble on the streets.  Then on and on to a disastrous ending.  I found this true in my teaching also, and tried my beset to help as much as I was able. Library books,especially easy ones, were of the greatest help to me, as well as to my poor but eager boys and girls.A few years ago, Paul and I had a wonderful vacation trip to Nova Scotia.  On our way there, we met a young college student, Michale Gaul, who was also on vacation.  We became admiring friends of this unusually fine Christian young man.  Since then we've kept in touch by letters.  He graduated from college in May 1972 and was immediately placed in his favorite field -- adult education.  He taught at Digby, Nova Scotia, until t his summer when he was placed in a jail -- rather a medium security penitentiary.  He lives a few miles from the institution where several of the workers have formed a car pool to travel from "home" to work.  Mike has always been a most sincere Christian and a devoted worker in his home church.  He will not have an endless opportunity to witnessing and helping the damaged lives of his students.  I wish you could know him, Paul.

When I called for your address, your mother told me that you were pleased with your "Crockpot" or "Cook-pot" (depending upon the manufacturer's name).  I, too, have one and think it's wonderful!!! I've never seen a cooking utensil so enthusiastically praised and used.  Clerks just can't wait to tell how  much they like it and use it.

After my daughter began to work, I finally got a crock pot for her.  Her day started at 6:00am and it was 5:30pm when she returned home to no prepared supper with 2 tired and hungry children, 1 big hungry husband, and she was a weary mother.  It was a bad time, as you can imagine.  Everyone wanted food right away -- and who wouldn't?   She was delighted with her new way of cooking.  It was most comforting to come home to a kitchen filled with delicious odors and to sit down to good food in a few minutes.

After giving my brother and sister-in-law one of Levinson's "cookers", I found that the Rival cookbook contained some recipes not found in theirs.  One of my favorites is the enclosed one for Beef Stew.  I hope you'll enjoy it, too.  Cathy found the Stuffed Green Peppers especially delicious. She bought ham loaf mixture instead of plain ground ham.  Her husband who didn't care for stuffed peppers, really loved these.

I must stop chattering and get this in the mail.

Again, I do hope you are enjoying the great challenges of your work, Paul, and may great success and happiness be yours.

September 26, 1974 (Letter from Mardi)

Just a quick note while I'm relaxing, baby is sleeping for the time being and I've already taken my "nappy poo".  All goes well here, Marti's mother arrive Sat and will be staying till Oct 10, so she's been spoiling me right along with Matthew!

Called Barb a couple of weeks ago and she's ready to leave Boston for good, unfortunately the money problem is bad.

Mike is working at some hospital in California, how he's doing is hard to say.

Right now Marti and Matt are waiting to hear about their settlement on the store.  We have blueprints made up and the ideas ready so soon we will be working day and night remodeling the new store -- last year it was the house -- will there be no end?!!!!  It's going to be very "trying" --- There can't be much more that can possibly happen this year.  73-74 has definitely been action packed!

So how is the job going?  It sounds as if it goes well fo ryou.  Have becomes accustomed to the "faces" now?

(9-30-74) - Thought I'd better get this out before I get further behind in my letter-writing!  Matthew was baptized Sun and he was so funny!  Thank heavens he was good.

Time is going to fast I can't believe it.  It's going on a month!  I'll have to send a photo, he's getting so big, you'll never know what he looked like by the time you may see him!

Sorry this is so short but with Marti's mom here I seem to have more to do!  Ya know?

We've gotten started on the "new store" and it's really going to be a great improvement.  Any new ideas from out Montana way?  We're open for anything!

I must go and put the baked macaroni in the oven -- SLIM!  I only have 8 lbs to lose so I'm really doing the old exercises.  No more coke, pepsi, pizza!  FOR SHAME.  Had a corn roast Sat nite and ate about half a dozen ears!  Would you believe we went to Washington Park?  I thought it would be overgrown with scrubs but it was really nice and it was a warm nite, which we haven't had in awhile.  I think the last time I was at Washington Park was about 1969!?

I really gotta gotta go -- Take care!

When do you think you'll be getting back around here?  The only way to get home around the holidays in either have a month off or to fly -- CHEAP!

The poopies say hi.

Matthew says hi.

The poopies didn't know what to think of Matthew at first but we haven't had any problems -- I think they think he's a toy!

September 17, 1974 (Letter from Ken and Denise)

We received your letter on the 7th or 8th of September, and had read it both together.  We are both writing this letter to you, so we will introduce whom is writing to your at each new paragraph. There are a lot of things going on between the both of us, and DOLLAR DATE.

Last week we answered an ad for models.  So we called, and they told us to come down and apply.  We went down on a Monday, and scheduled to work the following day, which was Tuesday. I was (Denise) (better known as Neecy, my new name) modeling on Tuesday.  Oh yea, by the way, we're nude modeling.  Both of us.  It's really exciting.  I was so excited about it the first time. You should experience it once in your life.

Right now, we are smoking grass, and trying to get stoned, or at least high.  We bought a lid from Koerbers, and it is really shitty!  Is it easy to get grass in Montana?  Have you smoked any while you've been there?  Kenny's smoking mainly to feel better, cause he's got a terrible cold at the present time.

Oh, guess what happened today?  Well, when I was modeling today, I was sitting on a bike that was too big for me.  When I sat on the bike, my feet wouldn't even reach the floor.  Well, we took a break and I got back on the bike, but in the process of reaching the seat the bike tipped, fell next to me where I fell. I'm in the nude when all this is happening.  That was a day to experience. Because I got up at 6:00 to get down there and find out that I'm not scheduled for that day.  I got home, and got a call from the agency to find out that they want me back down because they can use me.  So I finally got to model.

DOLLAR DATE is coming along really good.  At the present time, we are in the process of opening up a branch office in Harrisburg, in Morgantown, W. Va., and one in Boston Mass.  We have two other people working for us, as far as getting memberships.  One of them is a male cab driver, and a female student  trying to earn a little money.  We've practically hired the one in W.Va.  We are almost to the point where we'll break even.  All we need is about a month.

Paul -- Hi.  This is Ken.  We have this letter in the typewriter and we each are taking turns when we feel in the mood to do some typing.  As you can see, there are a lot of mistakes, especially on my part, but we figured that you wouldn't mind and so as mistakes occur, I just keep typing.  I guess that Neecy must have told you in the prior pps. that we are doing some nude modeling.  We get work whenever and as often as we wish to exhibit our really neat bodies.  It is an experience that is really far far out.  I love it.  After the class is over, every girl in the room tries to get you to take her home and fuck her.

No letter would be complete if I were not to give you the latest on the invincible DOLLAR DATE. We now have a total of 102 paid members.  Some of the chicks coming into the program are really sharp little girls.  I should have opened this business when I was single.  My god, some of these chicks are really nice.  AHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh.,.....Hope Denise doesn't read this part!

Next month we will be even with all investments which will be right on schedule.  We were now offered $7000 for the whole business.  International Date Match is now out of business.  Fuck them.....

Have you found a place to live yet?  I hope so.  I bet that you are really enjoying your job at the prison.  It is a two fold experience for you.  I am really glad that you are working in a prison.  It may have a lot to do with your future.  You will learn from the cons as well as provide them an educational service.  Some of your ideas the goals I am sure will change.  It is good also that you are working in a minimum security joint as there is no fear of large scale riots.  Please do not judge all prisons on the basis of what you experience there and you must keep the same attitude and open mind about that various cons as individuals.  Never let someone convince you to do an outside favor.  Once you do, you are done for.  I am sure you are all aware of this anyway but I thought that I might mention it.  You are going to be up against minds that can talk the brass off a fucking knob!

I now turn the typer over to Neecy.   --------Hi Paul, how are you today?  I don't know if Kenny told you that today is Sunday, Sept. 22, 1974, but it is,.  We're going over to my aunt's house for dinner today.  Isn't that great!!!!  We have two main courses, spaghetti and roast, with mashed potatoes and gravy.  Well, we went, and it was great.  Th ere was stuffed cabbage, and it was really good.  We got some to bring home with us.

I am how informing you of latest news happening with the Walleys.  The Koerber has a home out in North Hills and wants Kenny to take care of it.  It's really great out there.  There is two acres of land out there, with a real lot to it.  At the present time, the house has no one living out there, and the house itself is a wreck!  We are going to fix it up and live there maybe.  Ike wants us to care for it cause he got a job offer in Washington, D.C.  The house is really fantastic, and there can be a lot done with it.

When we went over to my aunts place, I unpacked a hope chest, full of things for the home, and some of my other things.  My mother's wedding dress was in there, and Kenny couldn't understand why it would be very important to my aunt.  But when we got home, I tried the dress on, and it fits like it was made for me.  Kenny really likes it now, and he thinks that it is the best thing in there.

We really like the warm letter you sent us.  Be sure to answer this one.

September 16, 1974 (Letter from Gordon Hill)

Just a note from the former MSP librarian....

Any help or introductions I can give you I will gladly do.  Especially in Deer Lodge, of course.  Has Dick given you the manual I was asked to write, for the position?

I also would be able to donate newspapers I subscribe to, namely The Guardian, The Militant, Berkeley Barb, and the Black Panther Intercommunal News Service.  Any or all of these.  For my materials selection philosophy on these items, see the above-mentioned manual.

The MSP librarian who preceded me, John Mason, now as MHS, is a close friend, and I hope you get acquainted.

At any rate, I wish you well.  Let me know where you are living.  I am working on a long article, on my MSP experience, and if and when it appears someplace, I will let you know.

I started work at Tacoma Public Library August 26th, as librarian for the Northwest Room, which is the Pacific Northwest collection, and I'm just getting into the job.  I will emphasize Montana, Idaho, B. C., and Native Americana, these areas being a lot weather than more local, recent subjects.

Take care, and keep cool.  You will be a very valuable staff worker to the men, especially.

At first when I arrived from the black ghetto area in Seattle to start work in Deer Lodge (just as winter hit in '72 -- a week after I arrived in late November  temp went to 40 below!), I was somewhat paranoid.  I came to like Montana, however, and would like to return, in a year or so, circumstances permitting.  Depends on how things go here.  Basically, though, I'm beginning to wonder, at age 42, if it is worth it to keep pouring oneself into a "career", when a quieter balance between it and plain living seems more sensible.  Like living and working on or near an Indian settlement: The Makah at Cape Flattery:  or in "rural" Montana....

September 13, 1974 (Letter from Mardi)

Hi, just a quickie, got your letter today and thought I'd get this out to you and tell you our "little baby" is here.  Got to hospital at 4:30am and had Mathew at 9, so it was great.  Marti was there through the whole thing and the delivery was really a sight to behold.  I needed a transfusion afterwards and still feel terribly shaky because I lost a lot of blood, but should be home Sun or Mon -- for sure.  It will be an experience having him at home!  Will write after I'm home awhile.  Your job sounds like a new venture all in itself, but sounds as though you'll get much from it, a new side of life.  Take care.

September 15, 1974 (Letter from Sue)

My dear Pole --

And I don't mean from Warsaw!  I am ever so sorry not to have written long 'ere this.  I was overjoyed to receive your long, long letter ('way back last July!) with its detailed and descriptive account of ALA.  Apparently "something" did happen to Phil there-- they way I herd it (from Grant, when I passed through Pittsburgh in August) was that Phil did "something unmentionable", though Grant doesn't know what.  I'm consumed with curiosity -- what could it be?

I was sorry to miss you, both in Pittsburgh and in Warren -- I guess your father told you that I called -- I just didn't know when we would get to Pgh -- we had a steaming radiator in Nevada and had to spend some time getting it fixed, etc.

Anyway, I heard that some prison library in Montana was trying to get in touch with you!  For all I know, you could be there now!  (I met a guy recently who graduated from SUNY Albany and who was the libn at Comstock.)  At any rate, I have a feeling that you're gainfully employed as of now (which is more than I can say for myself -- all in good time, I always say.)

Where are you and what are you doing?!  And what of the others -- I spoke to Michael on the phone in Aug -- and he agreed w/ me that U. Maryland is an elitist institution, but other than that, I haven't heard a breath of news (gossip?) since I heard from you and Janet in July.

I'm especially curious about Carmelle -- do you know what she's up to?  I wonder if she's still w/ Gregg -- do you know?

Also -- Paul, you sounded sort of forlorn w/ regard to your penchant for attached women -- (do you think it could be a defense? -- I don't mean to give you a lot of psychoanalytical nonsense, truly I don't -- but do you think it's a defense, a coincidence, that you tend to "fall for" women w/ prior commitments?).  I didn't know you felt so strongly about Grayce.  I always thought she felt that way about you -- though I confess to knowing nothing, except what you've told me, about her own state of independence or lack thereof -- I just had always had a feeling that she "had a crush" on you.  The old pitter-pat, pitter, pat.

For heaven's sake -- of course there's someone "out there" who is not already married, engaged, living w/ someone, a lesbian, or anything else in that category which seems to deny access, one individual to another (of course, some of us don't' believe in that category  but I admit, there are limitations).   Anyway, I think it's always hard to find that one mate -- a companion who can fulfill so many areas of one's life.  Some -- a lot -- of people spend their lives looking for the all-encompassing, multifaceted, soul-mate -- I don't' think any person can satisfy all of one's needs - do you?

I understand what you say about Leslie, though -- if it's not there, it's not there, though I'm sure it's not easy to break those old ties.

I've been reading a lot of Canadian fiction lately (a body of literature largely unknown up there, though it's lately come to surface).  There's a writer I think you'd particularly like -- Brian Moore -- his origins are Irish, and he now lives in sunny Calif -- but he's a naturalized Canadian citizen.  Just read An Answer from Limbo -- great book, dealing w one's art vs. one's personal life, ties, etc., but told in such a human/realism way that it's impossible to put down.  Manhattan locale, which you'd also like, I think.

I think you'd find Montreal intriguing -- which it is , if a somewhat tough nut to crack -- after a most trying week of looking for an apt, we finally found one -- situated in an old, formerly elegant (you know how I love faded grandeur, a la Atlantic City) residential area very centrally located.  Large, sunny, w/ 6 ft windows -- and totally unfurnished.   After a week of sleeping on hardwood floors, we finally got some furniture and are ready to commence Montreal living.  When we get the phone, I'll start job-hunting.  (I finally got my resume down to one page.)

Montreal is really divided between French and English -- even extends to the architecture -- part is London brick row-houses and part is Parisian stone and mansard roofs.  Unfortunately, much has been destroyed by the high-rise construction -- begun for the Expo and continued for the '76 Olympics -- I'm not finding the French (language) too easy, though it's coming, bit by difficult bit.

There are excellent restaurants here, as well as a good street scene.  The music scene I don't know yet -- but I maintain that the French -- even the North American French -- can't handle rock.  Everything comes out like Gilbert Becaud or Charles Aznavour.  I s'pose there's poetry in the lyrics -- but tune-wise -- well, there's nothing quite like the San Francisco sound!

Isn't it strange to think our year of academic endeavor is over -- all those hours gossiping in the library, writing last minute papers (in my case -- I know yours were finished months in advance , you show-off!)  Have you done anything further w/ pub of the R. S. index?  My friend the ex-Comstock libn (who is now a serials libn in an academic library) says he knows of no idea and thinks it's a good idea.

Well, my dear -- I hope this letter finds you in good spirits and financially solvent.  If you aren't working, and are w/in driving distance -- do come up to Montreal.  I'd love to see you again, soon -- (don't you think we should have a reunion?!) (you're the ex-class Pres, and as ex Social Chairwoman, who fell down in her duties toward the end, I can help you plan it!)  Seriously, do consider it.

September 10, 1974 (Letter from Grayce)

Your organization ("I keep all the letter I have received in ring-bound notebooks") constantly amazes me!  Never again do I wish to be poked fun at about "urgent".  I have been painting all night and am really tired.  It is not a good way to begin a letter, as a matter of fact, this is really absurd, but I think I'm going to stop now and do this tomorrow when I can give it my full attention (see: how important I consider you?!).  Good night....

11 September 1974 -- Well, this is much better.  From your letter you certainly seem to be adjusting rather well to your new environment   I didn't know that polar bears were quite so versatile!  (Maybe it's that cooler climate bringing out your inherent qualities.

Today was a very nostalgic day.  I had a doctor's appointment in Oakland -- so decided to stop by at GSLIS first to see Mr. Lee (who wasn't in -- as usual).  Dr. Kolish was out also, but I did see Mr. Wray  and all the secretaries and Dr. Immroth was so nice to me.  He really looks fine, ans says he's doing well.  I'm so proud of him.  He's really a nice person, but I worried about this way of life.  You know, he actually looks 10 years younger?

I saw Ray Martin.  He said "hello".  I also saw the new batch of students in the library, lounge, etc.  None, of course, quite as precocious as we.  My doctor is on the 500 block of N. Neville -- so -- (my ever-failing sense of direction leading me) -- I decided it must be 1 block up from where you used to live and over 2 blocks.  Guess again.  I passed old "lacucaracha heaven" on Melwood and from there on it took me 1/2 hour to find the good doctor.  Oh well...

Send me a picture of "typical Montana".  I know I shall never see it in person, except by maybe a weird twist of fate.  Speaking of fate -- how do you feel about it?  I love it, actually sometimes.  I guess that's why I like Hardy.  Sometimes things seem awfully controlled to me, you know?  I mean, there are endless possibilities to a situation and it seems as though the possibility that occurs always fits in with another possibility occurring along the parallel of what's happening.  I kind of wonder if possibilities count at all, or if they're just put there by the Practical Joker (Melville's idea of God is certainly bizarre, but maybe  it's true?) to make us think there are endless possibilities?  I don't know, obviously another thing that's been bothering me lately -- human emotion.   Maybe I've always previously had the good fortune to meet simple, open people -- but I always felt that human emotion was a very transparent thing -- or at least translucent.  But lately (as far back as a few years ago, really) it seems much more opaque.  I mean, I didn't always feel that feelings were bared consistently or without guard exactly, but merely that they were fairly easy to discern.  I felt that I could glean from expressions, glances, gestures what a person felt, or at least a slight approximation of their emotion -- not an empathy because I feel that that is very rare and not even consistent among very close people.  But I dont' feel it so much anymore.  Even in people with whom  I've formerly felt it -- only sometimes.  I feel that there are layers and layers of depths and each has to be peeled.  I'll bet even when you reach the core there's something hidden -- a little seed that is impossible to open.  Oh, listen to me (or rather, don't).  See what happens when you get involved with philosophy majors!  They're a bizarre crew!

Anyway to make a long story short (although I never do), I just know that there are some things (both about ourselves and others) that we just can never know!  It's just beyond our reach.  I just got the full impact of that, maybe I'm just slow.  That must be it...I'm just newsy -- I want to know everything.

I'm going to change the subject completely for some good news -- Bev got a job!!!  Only I don't know where -- I just got a phone message that she called while I was out.  I'll let you know what's what as soon as I know.  I'm glad; she was really miserable these past few weeks.  Diane is still looking but she seems fairly calm -- I have never seen Diane worry past the point of just saying "I'm worried" -- I mean, no nervous mannerisms, etc.  Very stable, wish I could imitate!

By the way, I've just decided that you are not allowed to move anywhere for another two years -- at least   I have 3 addresses for you in my address book and if you move once more you will ruin everything, so STAY STILL!!!  (ok?)  (pick, pick, pick)  Maybe someone will give us an address book for a wedding present -- one that has interchangeable spots for addresses.  I mean it -- my friends are vagabonds.  I myself have had only 6 addresses in my life (and most were summer).  Why can't people follow this good example?  (heh, heh)

Did I tell you that I got no duplicates of anything at my shower?  (which was held regardless of the fact that I explicitly stated that there was to be none!)  The noive!  Anyway -- sorry -- no toaster oven will be arriving for you (I didn't get one either, don't cry, tweety!)  We'll see what happens with wedding presents -- I give you fair warning though -- don't expect any address books -- I need all of those that I can get!

This job is really hectic!  The director is a nice woman, but very disorganized and she has all of us a wreck.  I keep reminding myself that this job is not worth killing myself over-- but my brain can't seem to get the message straight -- I'll probably have 3 ulcers by April (if I last that long!)  I'm in charge of "Reserves" (oh, joy!), also picture file and vertical file (neither of which have I even seen yet -- they being what I'm interested mostly in!)  I had forgotten what it was like to be under a nun's wing.  (Oh only that it could have remained forgotten.)

In high school I gradually lost all respect for Catholicism per se -- in college I found (in Phil and Theo  a reason to respect it again -- to actually like it, even and to hold it dear again.  I have a penguin's chance in hell of keeping this here.  This place is really provincial (I can understand why your friend Barb left.)  I can't wait til Oct 3rd so I can come here only to work.  It seemed like an ivory tower -- now it seems like prison.  Stifling is too good a word.  I can't say what I feel about the job yet because I haven't gotten accustomed to ti or to all the people yet.  It will take at least 2 months, if not longer.  (myeer!)

You know, I really wish I had a job like yours -- it seems interesting, but with so many insights to get.  I suppose it will never happen -- but maybe, meanwhile you'll have to tell me all about it -- ok?  Everything -- even little thoughts you have about it.  Do you mind?  If so, tell me.  You probably think me such a pest.  I'm sorry.

I hope you are well, and not lonely out there.  But you like to be alone, huh?  But not always?  Have you written anymore dreams lately?  What does your place look like (colors, etc).  Is it large?  Polar bears should have room for their coat to breathe.